APPENDIX B
Online Resources for the Other Talk
The resources that follow can help you develop your knowledge base, fill in your Other Talk notebooks (either paper or electronic) for each of your kids, and begin to explore your options for the four essentials of life I’ve talked about throughout this book:
1. Financing your uncertain future
2. Selecting the best living arrangements
3. Getting the medical care you need
4. Taking charge at the end of your life
I’ve listed in this Appendix a sampling of websites that are informative on these subjects. The list is organized around each of the action chapters, 5 through 10. The number of these sites, both for profit and not-for-profit, can be expected to grow as the interest in these subjects—particularly among people who are recently retired or soon will be and their families—mushrooms.
These resources can help you stay on top of your options, emerging medical treatments, and changing legal and financial regulations. Please note that, while some sites appear to be skewed toward adult children, the information and resources provided are relevant to all participants in the Other Talk, including the parents.
I would be interested in your feedback on the usefulness of these websites, as well as any additions you feel we should make. You can reach me at [email protected].
Chapter 5. Setting the Stage
AARP (www.aarp.org)
A nonprofit, nonpartisan organization that helps people 50 and older have independence, choice, and control in ways that are beneficial and affordable to them and society as a whole. AARP’s website offers a great deal of consumer information, tools and worksheets, expert advice, online communities, and more.
Strength for Caring (www.strengthforcaring.com)
Provides access to others dealing with aging issues through “Share Your Story” and “Meet Other Caregivers” online bulletin boards.
Making the Decision to Stop Driving
AARP Driver Safety Program (www.aarp.org/driversafety)
Helps users recognize when it’s time to limit or stop driving and how to discuss the issue with loved ones. Also provides a classroom and online course on up-to-date laws and safety measures to help adults keep driving.
American Automobile Association (SeniorDriving.aaa.com)
Provides information needed to continue driving, find transportation resources other than owning a car, and a self-test to see if you should still be driving.
Association for Driver Rehabilitation Specialists (www.driver-ed.org)
Helps you find a certified driving specialist who can help you determine whether it’s time to give up driving, and it can also help you in retrofitting your vehicle if you have lost certain types of physical mobilities.
Beverly Foundation (www.beverlyfoundation.org)
Maintains a state-by-state list of programs providing transportation options for older adults.
Drivewise (drivewise.allstate.com)
The Drivewise device was initially created to provide data to insurance companies in order to give good drivers a discount. The device attaches to the car and records driving behavior for six months. It may tell you whether you should still be driving.
Independent Transportation Network (www.itnamerica.org)
Provides a list of local affiliates that provide transportation for older adults. It also accepts donations of used cars for volunteers to drive seniors.
National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (www.nhtsa.gov)
Provides a checklist to see whether you should still be driving (search for “driving safely while aging gracefully”).
Transportation for Seniors (www.kued.org/productions/caregiving/pdf/30-a%20Community%20Transportation.pdf)
Provides the “Community Transportation Resource Worksheet” to help you determine what transportation needs can be met by local community resources and public transportation.
Chapter 6. Getting Your Documents in Order
Where to Obtain Documents
Archives.com (www.archives.com)
Provides copies of birth, death, marriage, and divorce records for a fee.
National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys (www.naela.org)
Provides information on how and why an elder-law attorney can help in the areas of healthcare, retirement, tax, financial, estate, and Medicaid planning, and it offers a searchable database to find an elder-law attorney.
Sharing Your Information with Others
CareFlash (www.careflash.com)
Provides a system for creating and maintaining a private online calendar so that family, friends, and community members can determine how and when they can help.
eCare Diary (www.ecarediary.com)
Provides an online calendar so that family, friends, and community members can determine how and when they can help out. Also provides links for legal documents by state.
Lotsa Helping Hands (www.lotsahelpinghands.com)
Provides a tool where you can upload and share your schedule with family and friends and indicate areas where you need help. Also provides financial, legal, and medical documents, and hosts discussions with relevant experts.
Chapter 7. Financing Your Uncertain Future
Retirement Calculators
AARP as well as many investment firms, banks, and other nonprofit organizations provide online retirement planning computer models that help determine how long your money will last. The amount of detail and ability to personalize data vary greatly, but many calculators are surprisingly easy to use.
Money on About.com (www.Moneyover55.about.com/od/preretirementplanning/a/retirementcalculators.htm)
Provides a review of online retirement calculators.
Sources of Additional Money
AARP (www.aarp.org)
Search “4 ways to tap your house for cash.” Provides information on ways to get cash out of your home.
BenefitsCheckUp (www.benefitscheckup.org)
Many benefits go unused because people are not aware they qualify. BenefitsCheckUp provides an online survey to identify benefits that could help cover or lessen costs. The site creates a report detailing which programs could be beneficial in your situation and how to apply.
Five Best-Kept Secrets, Financing Senior Care & Assisted Living (www.aplaceformom.com)
Online pamphlet offers a wealth of ideas on financing care.
Five Ways to Cover Assisted-Living Expenses (www.bankrate.com/finance/insurance/paying-for-assisted-living-1.aspx)
Provides information on alternatives for covering assisted-living expenses.
National Association of Realtors (www.seniorsrealestate.com)
Lists local Realtors who specialize in selling homes of older Americans who are going through major lifestyle transitions.
National Center for Home Equity Conversion (www.reverse.org)
Offers information on how you can get a reverse mortgage and use the proceeds for long-term care expenses, insurance premiums, or purchasing a less expensive primary residence. Also offers reverse mortgage counselors.
National Council on Aging Home Equity Advisor (www.homeequityadvisor.org)
Provides information on reverse mortgages and consumer protections.
National Reverse Mortgage Lenders Association (www.reversemortgage.org)
Offers information to help you determine whether a reverse mortgage is right for you.
Women’s Institute for a Secure Retirement (www.wiserwomen.org)
Provides information and tools to improve long-term financial security for women.
Money Management
American Association of Daily Money Managers (www.aadmm.com)
Provides list of members who can assist with bill paying, banking, insurance paperwork, and organizing records in preparation for income tax filing, among other tasks.
Financial Planning Association (www.fpanet.org)
Provides a searchable database to help you find a financial planner.
National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys (www.naela.org)
Provides information on how an elder-law attorney can help in the areas of healthcare, retirement, tax, financial, estate, and Medicaid planning, and it offers a searchable database to find an elder-law attorney.
National Association of Personal Financial Advisors (www.napfa.org)
Includes a searchable database of fee-only financial advisors along with tips and techniques on financial planning.
National Council on Aging (www.ncoa.org)
Helps homeowners review their situation and explore options to boost their finances.
Frauds and Scams
AARP’s Scams and Frauds page (www.aarp.org/money/scams-fraud)
Provides information about the latest frauds against older people.
Consumer Financial Protection Bureau’s Office for Older Americans (www.consumerfinance.gov/older-americans)
Works to resolve consumer complaints specifically related to mortgages, credit cards, banks, loans, and more. Helps older Americans and their families with the financial challenges of aging.
Elder Financial Protection Network (www.bewiseonline.org)
Offers elder financial abuse prevention programs and community education events.
Federal Bureau of Investigation (www.fbi.gov/scams-safety/fraud/seniors)
Helps protect you and your family from fraud.
National Consumers League (www.natlconsumersleague.org)
Provides consumers with information about telemarketing and Internet fraud.
National Do Not Call Registry (www.donotcall.gov)
Placing your telephone number on this list will stop most telemarketing calls.
North American Securities Administrators Association (www.nasaa.org/investor-education)
Provides tools and techniques on what to watch for and what to do if you think you are being scammed by financial advisors.
“Protecting Mom & Dad’s Money: What to Do When You Suspect Financial Abuse,” Consumer Reports magazine, January 2013.
An excellent article that features ways to protect yourself from financial abuse, including abuse from your own relatives.
Elder Abuse
National Adult Protective Services Association (www.napsa-now.org)
Provides a list of state protective services agencies that handle elder abuse cases.
National Center on Elder Abuse (www.ncea.aoa.gov)
Search the frequently asked questions (FAQ) to look at various scenarios and what to do about them.
National Long-Term Care Ombudsman Resource Center (www.ltcombudsman.org)
Advocates for residents of nursing homes, board and care homes, and assisted-living facilities, and can report suspected abuse.
Chapter 8. Selecting the Best Living Arrangement
Finding a Provider
A Place for Mom (www.aplaceformom.com)
A Place for Mom will put you in touch immediately with a free personal consultant who is well versed in the retirement, continuing care, assisted-living, and nursing homes available in your community.
Caring.com (www.caring.com)
Provides information and a searchable database of living options with candid reviews from residents and people who have visited the facilities or used its services. Types of services listed include the following:
Adult Daycare
Alzheimer’s Care Facilities
Area Agencies on Aging
Assisted-Living Facilities
Continuing Care Facilities
Elder Law Attorneys
Geriatric Care Managers
Government Health Insurance Counselors
Home Health Agencies
Hospice Agencies
Independent Living
In-home Care
Nursing Homes
Senior Home Remodeling Services
Senior Move Managers
LeadingAge (www.leadingage.org/findmember.aspx)
Provides a searchable database of nursing homes, home healthcare providers, hospitals, and community services for older Americans; does not provide comparisons.
Medicare (www.medicare.gov/nhcompare)
Provides a searchable database that compares nursing homes, home healthcare providers, and hospitals in your area.
National Alliance for Caregiving (www.caregiving.org)
Provides a clearinghouse of resources that have been reviewed and rated.
National Care Planning Council (www.longtermcarelink.net)
Offers links to all types of care services for older adults and a directory to find local organizations.
Living at Home
American Society of Interior Designers (www.asid.org)
Provides information about “universal design”—buildings, products, and environments that are accessible to residents of all ages and abilities.
Center for Aging Services Technologies (www.agingtech.org)
Provides information on technology to improve the lives of older adults, including a video on aging-in-place technology.
Center for Universal Design (www.design.ncsu.edu/cud)
Offers information about improving accessibility in your home.
Eldercare Locator (www.eldercare.gov)
Helps you find government services and programs in your area for older adults and their families.
Empowering Parents (www.empoweringparents.com)
Provides ideas and rules for living with adult children in their home or yours.
MealCall (www.mealcall.org)
Lists local providers of meal programs at locations in your community.
Meals on Wheels Association of America (www.mowaa.org)
Lists local providers of nutritious prepared meals that can be delivered to your home.
National Adult Day Services Association (www.nadsa.org)
Provides information on how to choose an adult daycare center and a database to help find a center in your area.
National Aging in Place Council (www.ageinplace.org)
Provides a searchable database of service providers, including financial and caregiving options, that can help you stay in your home.
National Association of Area Agencies on Aging (www.n4a.org)
Offers a searchable database of state and local chapters that provide a variety of supportive services, including help with household chores, meals served in community locations, adult daycare programs, protective services, and legal counseling.
National Resource Center on Supportive Housing and Home Modification (www.homemods.org)
Offers a searchable database of hundreds of local resources for home modification, tips on how to assess your home safety, and information about funding sources for home modification. The center does not endorse or qualify service providers.
Program of All-inclusive Care for the Elderly (PACE) (www.pace4you.org)
Provides a searchable database to find a local Program of All-inclusive Care for the Elderly (PACE). Provides one-stop shopping for all the services you might need to remain in your home. Not available in all states.
Living with Your Children
Family Education (www.familyeducation.org)
Search for “living with your adult children.” Provides advice for living with your adult children.
Voices.yahoo (http://voices.yahoo.com/senior-tips-living-adult-child-121843.html)
Offers tips for older adults living with their children.
Living with Others
Aging in Community (www.agingincommunity.com/models)
Provides links to a growing number of groups that offer a support structure to help older adults stay in their homes. These “villages” also provide events and get-togethers for their members.
Assisted-Living Communities
Assisted Living Federation of America (www.alfa.org)
Lists assisted-living communities in your local area and provides a checklist to help you assess services, amenities, and accommodations.
Hospitals
Hospital Compare (www.medicare.gov/hospitalcompare)
Helps you compare hospitals in your area.
Chapter 9. Getting the Medical Care You Need
Caregiving
AARP Caregiving Resource Center (www.aarp.org/caregiving)
Provides tools and tips on how to succeed as a caregiver, including a care provider locator and an online community.
AARP Guide to Caregiving (www.aarp.org/guidetocaregiving)
E-book addressing all aspects of caregiving, from health, housing, and legal matters to ways to handle the emotional transitions, where to find support, and how to care for the caregiver. In English and Spanish.
Family Caregiver Alliance (www.caregiver.org)
Offers information on caring for a loved one, including a handbook for long-distance caregivers. Use the Family Care Navigator to find caregiver resources for your state.
Knowing Your Medical Rights
Medicare Rights Center (www.medicarerights.org)
Offers services to help Medicare recipients and their caretakers learn and understand the options and sources available to them.
National Association of Professional Geriatric Care Managers (www.caremanager.org)
Lists geriatric care managers in your local community and explains the duties and responsibilities of a geriatric care manager.
Patient Advocate Foundation (www.patientadvocate.org)
Helps you learn how to appeal insurance company denials of coverage and discrimination because of an illness.
Disease Information
Alzheimer’s Association (www.alz.org)
Offers information about the medical and emotional issues surrounding Alzheimer’s disease.
American Cancer Society (www.cancer.org)
Provides information about the medical and emotional issues surrounding cancer.
American Diabetes Association (www.diabetes.org)
Offers information about the medical and emotional issues surrounding diabetes.
American Heart Association (www.heart.org)
Offers details about the medical and emotional issues surrounding heart conditions.
American Lung Association (www.lung.org)
Offers information about the medical and emotional issues surrounding lung diseases such as chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD), emphysema, chronic bronchitis, asthma, and lung cancer.
Healthinaging.org (www.healthinaging.org)
Provides health information about diseases that are prevalent in older adults.
Leukemia & Lymphoma Society (www.lls.org)
Provides information about the medical and emotional issues surrounding leukemia and lymphoma.
National Comprehensive Cancer Network (www.nccn.com)
Offers guidance on how to cope with distress, including meditating, keeping a journal, joining a support group, and creating a support team of family and friends.
National Institute on Aging (www.nia.nih.gov)
Provides information on health topics as you age, including information on Alzheimer’s disease.
National Kidney Foundation (www.kidney.org)
Offers information about the medical and emotional issues surrounding kidney disease.
Parkinson’s Disease Foundation (www.pdf.org)
Offers information about the medical and emotional issues surrounding Parkinson’s disease.
Medications
American Society of Consultant Pharmacists (www.ascp.com)
Lists local senior care pharmacists who can help you manage your medications.
National Council on Patient Information and Education (www.talkaboutrx.org)
Provides information on the appropriate use of your medications, how they might affect you as you age, and how to better manage them.
Chapter 10. Taking Charge at the End of Your Life
Advance Directives
aarp.org/advancedirectives
Provides state-by-state forms and instructions for advance directives.
Advance Directive Health Care Card (www.aha.org/putitinwriting)
Provides a wallet card to alert healthcare workers that patients have talked to their family about advance directives and how to contact relatives.
Aging with Dignity (www.agingwithdignity.org)
Contains the Five Wishes document, which helps you express how you want to be treated if you are seriously ill and unable to speak for yourself.
American Bar Association Commission on Law and Aging (www.americanbar.org)
Offers the “Consumer’s Toolkit for Health Care Advance Planning.” Includes easy-to-use, self-help worksheets that can help you determine your long-term wishes and who might be best to help carry out your decisions. Tool #7 offers a quiz for your families and doctors to determine your wishes for medical treatment toward the end of life.
Eldercare Mediators (www.eldercaremediators.com)
Offers information on how eldercare mediators can help resolve conflicts among loved ones without advocating for one particular party.
Islamic Medical Association of North America (www.imana.org)
Provides a living will and advance directive that balance Islamic prohibitions against suicide with the desire to not prolong life at all costs.
Physician Orders for Life-Sustaining Treatment (POLST) Paradigm (www.polst.org)
Provides information including a video on what POLST is, why it is needed, and how it complements but does not replace an advance directive. Information is provided on a state-by-state basis.
The Conversation Project (www.theconversationproject.org)
Provides a starter kit to help begin end-of-life conversations with loved ones.
Hospice Agencies
Americans for Better Care of the Dying (www.abcd-caring.org)
Provides information about end-of-life issues, including the aptly titled Handbook for Mortals.
Caring Connections (www.caringinfo.org)
Provides information about end-of-life issues, including information about hospice and palliative care and how to find options in your community.
Hospice Foundation of America (www.hospicefoundation.org)
Offers information about the hospice concept of care, as well as suggestions for dealing with grief in workplaces, schools, and places of worship.
National Association for Home Care & Hospice (www.nahc.org)
Offers a searchable database to find local home care and hospice agencies.
National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization (www.nhpco.org)
Offers information on end-of-life issues and a searchable database of providers.
National Institute for Jewish Hospice (www.nijh.org)
Provides information about specific issues surrounding hospice for those of the Jewish faith and lists of accredited Jewish hospice organizations.
Funerals
Funeral Consumers Alliance (www.funerals.org)
Provides information from an independent source on how to plan a funeral, make sure that your legal rights as a consumer are respected, and plan a green burial.
National Funeral Directors Association (www.nfda.org)
Provides information on traditional funerals, cremation, and dealing with grief.