CHAPTER
8

What Causes You to Tingle

In This Chapter

  • Using empathy to identify your triggers
  • Exploring the inner child in you
  • How your number of triggers can grow
  • What is ASMR immunity, and does anyone have it?

If you were to ask veteran tingle heads about their ASMR triggers, chances are they could tell you all about the sounds, images, and scenarios that never fail to put them into a state of slumber; the ASMRtists they like; and their “go-to” videos. It’s a great place to start, but how do you know what will actually work for you?

You don’t. There is no formula for generating the ASMR sensation. No two tingle heads are exactly alike, and there is no guarantee their triggers will have an effect on you at all. In order to find your triggers, you must revisit the past, explore the senses, and engage in the trial-and-error process.

In this chapter, we put you in the right mind-set in hopes that you can identify things that will cause your brain to buzz and reach a state of inner peace and relaxation.

Making the Connection with Empathy

As you learned in Chapter 7, the ability to experience the ASMR sensation is intrinsically tied to your memories and your ability to superimpose your thoughts, feelings, and senses onto a described event, idea, or object. In short, you must be able to empathize with it.

DEFINITION

Empathy is the way in which individuals project their senses onto another experience in order to understand it on a cognitive level.

Empathy is an important component to the overall ASMR experience. When you are offered a particular visual trigger or series of visual triggers, your ability to empathize or project your senses onto those triggers enables you to discern the stimuli in order to formulate an appropriate physical and emotional response. The more you can connect and empathize with a particular trigger, the stronger the ASMR reaction you will have to that triggering event.

Empathy is not the same thing as sympathy. Whereas sympathy is a general acknowledgment of your feelings not based in personal experience, empathy implies a deeper and more personal connection to the situation at hand.

For example, if someone has lost a spouse but you have never been widowed, you cannot say “I know how you feel” because you don’t—you can’t empathize. However, you can say “I know you must be heartbroken, sad, devastated,” and so on because those are logical and appropriate expressions of sympathy.

ASMR triggers have a similar dichotomy. Everyone has those triggers they sympathize with even if they do not experience them on a personal level. While most tingle heads can acknowledge that watching Bob Ross paint is a well-known ASMR visual trigger, not everyone achieves the ASMR sensation from it. Those who have experienced tingles watching Ross paint can empathize with the event, while those who haven’t can only sympathize with the idea. In order to find those events you empathize with, you must go back to the beginning and look for those actions and events that caused you to fall into a relaxed, happy state without even trying.

You must also consider your sensory style, or the primary way in which your brain tends to gather information, in order to engage your empathy and potentially trigger your tingles. The three traditional sensory styles include the following:

  • Watchers: These types of people tend to notice details and are often triggered when they see someone interacting with objects in a visually pleasing way.
  • Listeners: These individuals like to talk and love sound. They are often triggered by various noises and vocal timbres.
  • Touchers: These people are fascinated with the physicality of objects (for example, texture, shape, size, feel, and so on). They also tend to talk with their hands.

Although you use aspects of all three categories at various points in your life, you most likely tend to favor one method over the other two. By knowing your favored style, you may begin to find patterns in the kinds of events that gave you the deepest sense of peace, tranquility, and maybe even a tingle or two.



Finding Your Inner Child

An overwhelming number of tingle heads can track their early ASMR experiences back to specific events in their childhood. In October 2014, we conducted an informal Facebook poll in which we asked our readers to tell us how old they were when they first felt the ASMR phenomenon and under what circumstances. The results were staggering. Out of the first 100 people to respond with a specific age, a whopping 93 percent said their first ASMR experience occurred prior to the age of 10.

Those who reported their first ASMR episode occurring between the ages of 0 and 4 described experiences largely focused on personal attention (for example, hair brushing, rocking, patting, ear play, and so on). For the most part, these events were designed to be soothing in nature and usually were induced by a close family member, such as a mother or grandmother. ASMR experiences that happened to respondents between the ages of 5 to 10 were far more unintentional, triggered by people outside the immediate family, and not always caused by personal contact. (Those first-time ASMR events that occurred beyond the age of 10 were generally in line with the previous category and may happen later due to minor developmental delays.)

Based on our poll, the top five most popular first-time ASMR experiences respondents reported were the following:

  • Teachers’ voices, especially if they whispered
  • Hair play, including scalp checks, haircuts, braiding, and brushing
  • Sounds associated with actions, such as unwrapping a package, clicking blocks, crinkling candy wrappers, and so on
  • Art and writing sounds, including watching Bob Ross, painting, sketching, drawing, and so on
  • Random touches, such as tracing on one’s back, hand massages, or even the “Light As a Feather, Stiff As a Board” game

Regardless of how it first happened, it resulted in a feeling that was hard to forget and even harder to replicate. In fact, many people who hear about ASMR connect it with an event from their past but often admit they have lost touch with the sensation over the years. There are a number of reasons this could have happened. Perhaps the sensation happened infrequently enough that they didn’t recognize it at the time. Perhaps other sensory issues corrupted the ASMR response, such as a touch not being as light, a voice not resonating at the same frequency, or an action sound not being as deliberate or careful. Perhaps the situations used to produce the ASMR sensation ebbed over time and eventually the memory of it faded as well.

If you fall into any of these categories, don’t worry! Your tingles probably aren’t gone forever. You just need to connect with your inner child in order to reclaim the ASMR sensation inside of you.

DEFINITION

The inner child is the aspect of a person’s psyche and consciousness that is connected to and retains the feelings and carefree emotions of the past.

The inner child is the aspect of the consciousness that is naturally innocent, playful, and uncomplicated and whose approach to life is simple and straightforward. While it is a concept normally associated with healing the pain of the past, it is also a state of being that can put you on the road to your ASMR future.



Exploring the Past

In order to touch base with your triggers, it’s important you think back on your earliest memories that you can consciously recall. Usually these are fragmented, have no context, and focus on feelings rather than actual events. You may not know where you were or what you were doing at the time, but you know that you were content in the moment. Maybe you recall sitting on a beach wiggling your toes in the cool white sand or lying on a bed getting ready for a nap and listening to the hypnotic sound of the ceiling fan above you. Perhaps you recall the gentle sound of your mother reading you a bedtime story in hushed tones until you could no longer stay awake.

Even if you can’t recall them or didn’t experience any tingles at the time, these events can help you pinpoint the feelings and sensations that placed you in a feeling of total relaxation. That feeling is key to the ASMR experience. When you explore the emotions and sensations that appealed to your inner child—those moments in which you were happy, relaxed, free and without a care in the world—you open your mind to the possibility of rekindling the connections on a multisensory and physiological level.

Tapping Into the Theta and Alpha Parts of You

As you learned in Chapter 5, from the time you are born until around the age of 4, you exist in a blissfully stress-free theta state of existence. You are not afraid to say what you want, try something new, or find fascination with the mundane. Although the things you enjoyed way back when may not have the same appeal for you today, it is partially because you were operating at a different brain wave state than you do now.

TINGLE TIP

In order to start triggering your ASMR tingles, you need to tap into the events of your childhood that you found deliciously relaxing even if no one else would understand them. Refrain from judging yourself. After all, ASMR is extremely personal and, generally speaking, no one will judge you on what triggers the ASMR sensation for you. Forget the world around you and allow your mind to connect with the sights, sounds, and events of the past and try to re-create the feelings you experienced at the time they occurred.

From the age of 5 to around 9, you then move into the alpha brain wave state. As we learned even through our informal poll, this is an incredibly important time in ASMR development. During this period of time, your episodes of ASMR tend to move beyond your parents and yourself and can be triggered by others. It also tends to be when that first recognized tingle experience occurs and is centered on a situation that might not make sense to anyone else. In fact, if you have ever tried to explain the phenomenon to someone at the time, you might have gotten a few strange looks.

Chelsea Fagan is typical of an alpha phase ASMR experiencer. Fagan is a blogger at the ThoughtCatalog.com who says that when she was a little girl, she used to watch as the kid who sat across from her in school doodled on a piece of paper. She would become so mesmerized by the scratch of the pencil lead as it moved back and forth across the page that she would forget what was happening in class.

“I remember if the teacher would read a book softly to the class, every time she turned the corner of the page (with that sort of squeaky, glossy-page-against-fingers sound), I would again fall into an almost dreamlike state. I thought, at the time, that there must be something wrong with me. I always felt so weird and that if I told other kids, they would make fun of me,” she wrote.

Fagan said it’s not surprising that so many tingle heads do not talk about their experiences and if someone ever found a bookmarked folder on their computer full of ASMR triggers, who knows what they might conclude?

Luckily, she doesn’t have to explain herself to us. We totally get it. We know that she wasn’t crushing on her teacher just because she liked the sound of her voice and the way she turned the page. We also know that she didn’t have a thing for graphite or the boy across the aisle. She was simply soothed by the sound he made with his pencil. Chances are if another kid had tried to replicate the same action, it wouldn’t have had the same effect on her.

What is it about this phase of people’s lives that causes them to become more aware of the ASMR experience? While research has not been conducted to conclusively answer this question, as you learned in Chapter 5, it is the brain wave state when you are most alert, impressionable, and easily influenced. It is the brain wave state that hypnotists try to achieve with their clients so that their suggestions will “stick.”

Therefore, it is critical you let go of your adult hesitations and leave all judgment and criticism at the door if you want to trigger potential tingles. You must embrace that little kid who used to watch ceiling fans for fun, waste hours wriggling her toes in the sand, find secret delight in the sound of her mother’s voice, or be soothed by the sound of pencil on paper.

DID YOU KNOW?

If you are one of those who did not experience ASMR until the age of 11 or 12, don’t worry. Experts say people only begin to transition into their beta brain wave state at the age of 11, but there is plenty of that kid-level alpha state still left within. If you fall into this category, there is nothing abnormal about you at all.

The Late Bloomer

Naturally, not everyone who experiences ASMR does so by the time they reach puberty. We know a lot of people who have come to the sensation later in life (such as in high school or early adulthood). Many first experience it in the clinical setting after being introduced to biofeedback, hypnosis, or other alternative treatments. However, others experience it organically based on the actions of others and when that happens, it can be a jarring experience.

For example, we know of a happily married man who worked with a woman whose voice triggered his ASMR. He’d never heard of the sensation before and could not understand why he seemed mesmerized by this woman. He knew he did not have romantic feelings for her, but he couldn’t seem to get enough of her voice and said that she was the kind of person who could have “sold him anything” with her melodic cadence.

Unlike children who may not know what the ASMR sensation is but accept the feeling unconditionally, those who first feel it at the high school/college level or in the professional/vocational setting say it raises feelings of confusion, especially if they have never heard of the sensation or have not experienced it in the past. In the case of the gentleman, once he learned what ASMR is and some of the triggers that caused it, he was able to discern that his colleague’s voice stimulated the ASMR sensation within him.

Are you among those who may be affected by latent ASMR sensations? The following are some questions you can ask yourself to see if that’s the case:

  • Does a new co-worker’s voice have a calming affect on you?
  • Did a change in physician, hair stylist, or other professional cause you to feel more relaxed during these appointments?
  • Do events that you have experienced hundreds of times in the past (such as a haircut) feel like a more relaxing experience based on the mannerisms and technique of the individual performing them?
  • Have you ever confused a tingly reaction for romantic attraction?

If you answered “yes” to any of these, you might be one of those late bloomers. While we can’t state this unequivocally (as everyone’s situation is different), what we can tell you is that if you are among those who discovered your ASMR tingles a little later on, there is nothing wrong with you and there is nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed by.

If you suspect that you are being triggered, try to determine how the trigger affects you on a visual, sonic, or experiential level. For example, if you discover that it is the sound of someone’s voice, feel free to tell the individual (in a nice way) that her voice is very relaxing. Sometimes merely acknowledging it is enough to diffuse the trigger’s impact a little. We don’t know why this is, but friends have told us it works. Plus, the other person may consider it a compliment.

The following are some other suggestions:

  • If it is something the other person is doing (such as a visual trigger), you may have to train yourself to avert your gaze especially at times when you cannot “enjoy the view,” so to speak.
  • If it is another type of sound trigger (such as snapping gum, smacking lips, tapping fingers, and so on), you may need to mask those noises by wearing earphones at those times when you need to be productive and can’t be distracted by sounds that relax you.
  • If you discover that you are suddenly triggered by an experience in a way you weren’t in the past, feel free to indulge in the moment without being overly obvious. (In other words, try not to fall asleep.) While most people find salon/spa services fairly relaxing, consider yourself lucky if you can be triggered in a doctor’s office. Not everyone can do that!


None of these suggestions are designed to discourage your ASMR. Rather, it is to help you understand it better and gain some control over what you might feel is an uncontrollable situation.

TINGLE TIP

Not every ASMR trigger is connected to a memory. Many are random combinations of sights and sounds that result in a spontaneous ASMR event (such as watching Bob Ross paint). If you have ever experienced one of these types of ASMR episodes, be aware of what is happening when the event occurs and seek out content that matches those elements. Sometimes you might be able to find the perfect combination of triggers in one video!

Finding and Expanding Your Triggers

Discovering your ASMR triggers is a trial-and-error process. Most people who connect with the concept of ASMR can recall immediately when they first felt the tingles, know what caused it, and then have a starting point to start seeking content that promotes a particular trigger. So while there is no methodology we can offer that will bring your personal triggers to the surface, we can offer the following step-by-step process as a potential aid, with the caveat that finding your triggers is a highly subjective process:

  1. Identify a childhood memory that created a feeling of deep relaxation, peacefulness, and tranquility.
  2. Try to remember that event as completely as possible. This goes beyond merely knowing the who, what, where, when, how, and why to include all that you felt and experienced through the five senses.
  3. Determine what part of the memory had the most effect on you. Was it something you saw or heard, or was it the experience itself? (ASMR videos tend to fall into visual, auditory, and experiential categories, which we will talk more about over the next few chapters.)
  4. Seek out YouTube content that focuses on what you feel is your particular trigger. Don’t be discouraged if it doesn’t work the first time. Try multiple ASMRtists; everyone is a little different.
  5. If trying multiple videos does not work, revisit the memory to determine if there is a different trigger to try. (You may have selected the wrong one.)

While there is no formula for knowing every trigger that works for you, when you find one, it will lead to more, and from there, you can seek out content that includes the elements that are most likely to trigger your ASMR. In fact, those who transition from traditional guided meditation videos, nature soundscapes, and other content designed for relaxation to ASMR videos are often surprised to learn how their triggers can grow quickly over time.

This often occurs thanks in part to the video suggestion queue that brackets a YouTube viewer’s feed. For example, we know a lot of people who might have been watching a quiet meditation video but became intrigued by the terms “ear-to-ear whisper” and “soft-spoken relaxation” enough to click on the videos and then felt amazement at the tingly effect the content had on them. Or perhaps they were reminded of how much they loved hushed voices as their teacher read a story or enjoyed the quiet soothing comments made while someone brushed their hair. The next thing they know, they are surfing YouTube for hair brushing videos, which may lead to full-on salon role-plays and more. Before you know it, they have a wide variety of ASMR content triggers to choose from!

So if you are just beginning to discover your ASMR triggers, we recommend trying a variety of videos; you never know what you might connect with if you give it a chance.


ASMR Immunity: Beating the Buzzkill

One question that comes up from time to time has to do with subject of ASMR immunity and whether someone can actually lose the ability to experience ASMR. While there is no real science to prove or disprove this, we don’t think so. ASMR is a little like riding a bike. If you have experienced it once, you can and probably will experience it again.

DEFINITION

ASMR immunity is a term used to describe the sudden inability to experience the ASMR sensation when watching or listening to favorite content.

ASMR immunity occurs when an individual watches or listens to the same content over and over again until it no longer has the same effect that it once did. This happens due to a change in the way that endorphin receptors react to repeated stimuli.

Endorphin receptors have a tendency to become desensitized when exposed to the same trigger over and over in much the same way that a drug addict needs more and more of their chemical of choice in order to achieve their desired buzz. This isn’t the body trying to deny you pleasure; rather, it’s its way of telling you that you have become too dependent on one stimulus. This is not a bad thing.

Dr. Craig Richard, PhD, cell biologist with the University of Shenendoah, says this automatic desensitization aspect of endorphin receptors can actually help us grow and develop. He said that if, as infants, we received a pleasurable high every time we snuggled with our parents, chances are we’d never leave their side. We would never learn to walk, talk, go to school, or venture away from home. Remember that part of the ASMR experience is in the surprise. As a child, your first ASMR episodes did not happen because you were planning them. They happened when you least expected it.

If you take the time to switch up your ASMR triggers and not use the same ones all the time, you stand a better chance of avoiding this desensitization in your endorphin receptors. However, if you do end up with ASMR immunity, rest assured it is a temporary condition. “Whatever receptors are involved, they are likely to recover their sensitivity in a short period of time,” he said.

Sometimes, you just need to switch things up a bit. As you become more familiar with which ASMRtists tend to trigger your tingles on a consistent basis, you can then be relatively content they usually have something on the playlist that will work, so be open to trying something new. If you are predominately triggered by visual images, try a sound trigger or a role-play.

Of course, if there is something you haven’t seen done yet, you can always make a request. Be sure to be polite when contacting your favorite ASMRtists and know that not every request can be honored. Remember, they are providing you with free content that helps relax you and put you to sleep. Be grateful for the content they do provide and don’t dwell on what they can’t.

ASMR Videos to Help You Discover Your Triggers

If you are ready to start exploring the ASMR universe in search of triggers that might cause your brain to tingle, here are a few that will stimulate the senses and help connect you to some of the most popular memories of the past:

KEEP IN MIND

It is impossible to know for certain how many people experience ASMR at the present time or whether the majority of people will be able to experience it in the future. While we believe that most people can derive some relaxation benefit from ASMR content with or without the tingly feeling, there may be some exceptions to the rule. Children and adults dealing with ADD/ADHD, sensory disorders, severe mental issues, and on the autism spectrum may not respond positively to ASMR content at all. Because some ASMR videos can be extremely stimulating in terms of the sounds and visual imagery, before introducing an extremely sensitive person to ASMR, be sure to clear it with your health-care professional or therapist if you think you fall into one of those categories.

The Least You Need to Know

  • The majority of first-time ASMR experiences occur before the age of 10.
  • Voices, hair-play, action sounds, art/writing sounds, and random touches top the list of first-time ASMR experiences.
  • In order to improve your chance of tingles, look for ASMR triggers that remind you of your previous experiences.
  • ASMR stimuli should connect on a multisensory level.
  • ASMR immunity is a temporary condition that can be relieved by a changeup in ASMR content.
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