The trouble is, you think you have more time.

Buddha

Do you own your voice?

If you had 20 seconds of ‘insane courage’ — a term coined by Benjamin Mee of We Bought a Zoo renown — what would you do?

What would you say? What’s holding you back?

If you want to be bold, you need to find your voice and figure out where you need to be heard so you can really make an impact and a difference.

When I first started working at Ella Baché there were so many moments where I didn’t feel I was being heard. I was misunderstood and I certainly didn’t get the traction I had expected (and had received in the past). In fact, I had no voice, I had no credibility and in those early years I faced countless barriers that prevented me from owning my voice and being heard. I had to stand up, pick my battles, play the long game and show up time and time again. It took insane courage.

Being unique

The most common question I get asked is ‘Did you always plan to work for Ella Baché?’ The answer is no!

Back in the 1990s my brother and I would spend days and weeks of our school holidays in the Ella Baché factory or manufacturing plant in Sydney. The wonderful part of this is that some of the people we used to work with back then are still there today. On a Monday morning we would turn up at around 8.30 am and most people had already been there for hours. I would sit on a stool in front of a big, long white bench and be tasked with folding cartons and putting jars into the cartons, which I then placed into boxes. I always worked at the fastest possible pace so I could get out of there earlier than I was meant to. I had one eye on a magazine, reading about the latest in fashion and beauty, and the other on one of our dogs sitting beside me (of course that wouldn’t happen today with all the regulations). I like to remind my dad that he still owes me for those hours and hours of working in the warehouse, but I never complained, especially after seeing my grandma and grandpa work tirelessly on the brand. My grandpa (who was Ella’s cousin) was a lawyer and an accountant. He was a lovely, warm man, but he was tough on us. He was highly educated, spoke seven languages and was a refugee from Czechoslovakia. He never spent a cent on himself as he had lived through the Great Depression. At the end of my working day at the warehouse I would often walk into his office to see him sitting at his large, wooden desk and report back on what I had done that day and how I was going at school.

The day I turned 16 I started driving, and a year later, on my seventeenth birthday, I earned the freedom to drive on my own. Being a poor student, I never had enough money to fill the car up with petrol, so I took advantage of the family’s account at the local petrol station down the road from the office (the accounts consisted of handwritten file cards in a box on the counter!). For months I thought I’d been able to get away with it. But then one day I walked into my grandpa’s office and he confronted me with the monies I owed the company for the petrol I had used. I never did that again!

Fast-forward to 2005: I had taken the leap into the world of advertising. I had an amazing time, working hard and playing hard in advertising in both Sydney and London. I loved every minute of it and met some incredible people along the way. Working with such inspiring people, I built a strong comradeship with them; it was as though we had grown up together. We were fortunate enough to create some amazing experiences and breakthrough ideas together; before the business world began using buzz words such as ‘differentiation’ and ‘breakthrough thinking and ideas’ this was our ethos. Along the way, we had some really difficult clients and some really kind ones, but it taught us to deal with different people: to negotiate, influence, persuade, collaborate and solve problems. I managed a variety of accounts, both for-profit and not-for-profit, working on pitches until all hours of the morning and achieving some great wins and also some hard losses. It was all part of the game and something that provided me with much growth.

My career so far, I acknowledged, was abundant — but the advertising world was a young person’s game, especially for females. I had two female bosses in the Sydney agencies I worked for. They worked hard and were often in the office until after 9 pm, fighting for a seat at the table because, as women, they were the minority and that was a tough place to be. I knew it wasn’t an industry for women over 35 who wanted to have a family but also had ambitions to continue to build a great career in something they truly loved.

Philosophically, if you’re unique no-one can compete. Building a brand and standing out where competitors were large multinationals, you had to be different. The Ella Baché uniqueness came from Ella’s approach towards treating the skin and the products, but also in the way the brand was taken to market with PR, advertising and events all used to differentiate and stand for something in a competitive marketplace. We had to create our own voice that no-one else could own. The personality of the brand has always been cheeky, quirky, polished, sophisticated, Australian, and of course, French. We have never told the family story as part of the brand story or put the family front and centre in the brand’s story. But I’ve never had people say Ella who? Everyone knows Ella Baché: the brand, the company. But they don’t know the person, the family or the human story — probably because fame and spotlight have always been the furthest thing from what my family values.

Believing in yourself

In my early thirties I had a conversation with my dad John, who was not only my father but also the owner and chairman of Ella Baché. I said to him that maybe it was time I thought about joining the family business because I was seriously considering jumping in and giving it a go. I was fortunate that we had always spoken about what was happening at Ella Baché and with the brand, so I knew it from afar and through his eyes. But, boy, I could never have imagined how challenging it was going to be. I was completely and utterly naive!

My dad lived on the north coast of New South Wales and although he owned the company, he hadn’t been involved in the business day-to-day for over 20 years. So after 20 years of having no family members in the business, walking in with my surname freaked everyone out in more ways than I can even to this day comprehend — I felt as though I was a spy.

So, after years of building my credibility and career in advertising, I had to prove myself all over again. After years of owning my voice in the world of advertising, I had to reinvent myself. I think the toughest part of it was the alienation. Being a social person, I had always had lots of friends at work. So this was really tough. I was alienated by many of the managers at the time, and my peers were frightened that if they were perceived as being ‘on my side’ it wouldn’t work out favourably for them.

I persevered because I strongly believed it was my right to be there and no-one was going to take that away from me. Even if I couldn’t win the battle, I would win the war — this was a long-term game for me.

I spent three years heading up marketing at Ella Baché and I was very fortunate in that I had some great mentors outside of the business with whom I spent confidential and valuable time. If I was going to run the business one day — which by then I knew I wanted to do — I had to fill myself with ambition and like-minded people. I love the saying ‘don’t poke the bear’: I knew that I would eventually get there through hard work, resilience, persistence and determination after having been the ‘bear’ who was poked so many times over for being part of the family. With people around me doubting me and my association with the brand making me even more determined, I just needed to use the time to learn more about the financial and manufacturing side of the business. With the support of my mentors, who I’m still very close with today, I set out to do just that behind the scenes.

Holding on to your values

In 2009, just as the GFC hit, I got my chance to take on the role of CEO of Ella Baché. The media headlines were all doom and gloom, the banks had collapsed overseas, people were losing their homes and everyone was fearful that we would head into a recession. Running a retail business, you rely a lot on consumer confidence and how people feel so it was a time of uncertainty, but I knew we had a great brand and if we held onto our principles and smarts we could ride this wave.

Nevertheless, it took me a while to comprehend the fact that the buck stopped with me. I’m not into titles, so that wasn’t an issue, but I had to get my head around being the leader and not an imposter. Yet I suddenly found myself with imposter syndrome and there was no vitamin I could take to cure it — it was something I had to solve on my own. It’s a strange feeling when you’ve had a job description — a road map — all your working life and all of a sudden you have none of that.

I was a 33-year-old female CEO, sitting in my office thinking, ‘Okay, what do I do now?’ I remember asking my dad, ‘So what are your expectations?’ Dad’s reply was, ‘Just do what you’re doing, but more of it’ — always supportive, but not one for the finer details!

First, there were changes to be made within the business. I believe life is too short to work with rattlesnakes so the first thing I needed to do was get my team together and build trust, honesty and commitment. Get the right people on the bus and the wrong people off. After that, I had to work out where it was we needed to go! If you have a passionate, hardworking team around you — one that you can trust, where everyone has each other’s back — anything is possible.

The culture had to revert to embracing our family values. I knew exactly what they were, and how to get there. The company had been corporatised and was full of rules and policy. We had to go back to being free to innovate and collaborate — and not sweat the small things, like where you parked your car! I realised we had an identity crisis. Companies, like people, need to know who they are, what they stand for, what their strengths are and what their personality is. We quickly re-defined all of that. The values that Ella had brought to the business were innovation, bravery, pushing boundaries, working hard, creating good relationships and making people feel like family. All of these still applied and remain at the core of the brand. It was only natural to want to voice these values and embed them across the organisation. Fortunately, my first year as CEO was a great year. It was before I had kids so I worked seven days a week and extremely long hours. I was conscious that I had to make the role my own, and that meant doing things differently from how my dad, Ella or the leaders before me had done them.

Standing out from the rest

The impact of technology and the growth in digital were prevalent. We had to take what was good about the past and protect it while also making changes where necessary for the future and this meant leveraging the opportunities that the growth of the digital world presented — and it meant moving quickly. To this day I am conscious of the balancing act between the human touch and technology.

I often find myself faced with decisions and in those moments I draw on my knowledge of the principles and values that made the company great. I always reflect on Ella’s philosophies and beliefs. I’m here for a moment in time to lead the company; I have always seen my role in the company as one of protecting what makes it great — its philosophies, values and heritage. It’s about taking that heritage and building on the future.

Ella’s pursuit was always to formulate quality and result-driven products using the best raw materials and to understand the properties of these natural materials, which were sourced from all over the world.

The formulas were crude — she pushed back on over-refined ingredients. To her it was like cooking with only the best ingredients. There’s nothing new about this today — in fact, it’s now normal for products to be formulated with vitamins, herbs, marine extracts, essential oils, proteins, biological extracts and tissue molecules. If the ingredients worked, Ella used them, with each ingredient serving its purpose. In a world of mass production and uniformity there was a need for an individual approach, which is what she delivered.

This went against the trends of producing light, water-based products. Instead, she used products with higher efficacy that actually worked to improve the skin, just as prescription formulas would. It was a bold move. It would have been easier to create products like other cosmetic companies did, but Ella didn’t believe they had the same potential for results on the skin.

The prime example was her commitment to lanolin, which was a controversial ingredient. Lanolin can hold three times its own weight in water, making it a most effective moisturiser. Ella was committed to research on herbal-based products and would research native plants such as allantoin, which is used in indigenous environments, and comfrey, used by Indigenous American Indians. These ingredients, combined with scientific advances, were a true testament to Ella’s uniqueness and individuality.

She invented these products after much research, documentation and observation of different cultures as well as exploration of the medicinal properties of the skin. With her knowledge she used the active principles to create a line of skincare rich in vitamins A, C and E that promised to provide antioxidant protection and essential nourishment, later combining jojoba, grapeseed and rosemary.

Ella always said ‘no two skins are alike’, and that’s still our mantra today. Back in the 1920s she also pulled on many levers that as a CEO I need to pull on today. We are fortunate that advancements in technology have enabled us to go beyond the skin and products to take the idea of personalisation into how we communicate and service our clients. Ella had to build networks back in the 1920s; she created a reputation through different networks for her products and formulas. She did this by way of one-on-one relationships and was very strict about who she associated with. It was only people she respected. She was very principled.

Today, the Ella Baché network is much larger. We’re fortunate that we have so many different platforms that we can use to build our network with: social media has revolutionised the way we do this. Like Ella, we knew we had to own our voice and stand out to get attention. While the competition was not nearly as great in the 1930s and the industry was at its infancy stage, Ella still had to gain attention and stand out among the rest. She achieved this by building a reputation for her products. She showed that they worked — that you could trust them and her genius formulations. Today, standing out and owning your voice is no different: only the way we go about it and the platforms we use are.

Being passionate

In the early days as CEO, I had a great opportunity to go on a show called Undercover Boss. I jumped at the chance because it not only profiled the company on national television, it also profiled some of the incredible people within our organisation. It heroed their stories and granted some of them an opportunity to follow their dreams, whether it was to travel to see their mum in another country or to write a book. I was able to go into the organisation as a trainee therapist and gain insights into what was going on, an opportunity I wouldn’t have as CEO. I literally went undercover for a few weeks and travelled around to a dozen Ella Baché stores, where I worked ‘undercover’ in disguise. I got to see the wonderful things people were doing in all areas of the business. I also experienced an enormous amount of passion, ownership and love for the brand. As a CEO you often visit stores and people, but you experience it through a very different lens. The show gave me the opportunity to see the business from the inside out and to work alongside people I would never get the chance to as CEO.

The most challenging part of the show was when they asked me to go to our factory. Having worked there since I was a young kid I knew the staff like my own family. I knew they would recognise me — even wearing a disguise. So, despite the risk of my cover being blown, the TV crew took the chance and sent me there. Within five minutes of walking in, one of the ladies screamed ‘Pippa what have you done to your hair?’ My cover was blown and the segment never made it to air! Being part of Undercover Boss made me realise how many amazing women, some with hard-luck stories, are part of the Ella Baché family. It shows how special and unique the passion, commitment and love for the brand is and is a reminder of how each of us has their own story.

We have an annual awards night where we award people within our network for their great achievements over the past year. The night is one of my favourite events as hundreds of people gather at a venue in Sydney to celebrate each other’s achievements. You can’t create this magic on a spreadsheet: it’s built over many, many years of experience, hard work and relationships. As my dad would always say, ‘business is about people and the relationships you create around them’.

Making a difference

As a brand, Ella Baché has always supported women and the belief that they deserve an equal go. It’s part of the human spirit, but also the Aussie spirit of ‘Have a go!’ We’re proud of our heritage and have fought for females to be given an equal start.

The 1990s was a time when ‘ironmen’ — who were celebrated for their speed and endurance — were our Aussie heroes and a big part of the Australian beach culture. Ella Baché worked with the Surf Life Saving Association in a bid to introduce an Australian ironwoman competition alongside the men’s. At that time women didn’t have a place in Australian sport and they certainly didn’t have a place in the surf life-saving culture. The ironman event has been around since the 1960s, but it took three years, and hundreds of meetings with both state and federal bodies, to convince the Surf Life Saving Association in Australia to trial the first ironwoman event. It was a success! Today it’s on a par with the men’s event. The ironwoman event provided a platform for many talented female competitors to build a profile and go on to be serious sportspeople in their own rights.

One of the sponsorship events that put the Ella Baché brand in the hearts and minds of many Australians, especially men, was our involvement with the 18-foot Skiffs. At the time (the early 1990s) these were the fastest sailing boats on the water and the events were televised nationally during lunch break for the cricket. Ella Baché agreed to sponsor the boats on the proviso that we had a female skipper. This was a first for Australian Skiff racing. Adrienne Cahalan became the skipper for the Ella Baché 18-foot Skiff for the next seven years and went on to win many series. Adrienne, despite her petite, 47-kilogram frame, was the most mentally tough and strongest on the water. Adrienne is a champion cross-country skier, a musician and a maritime lawyer — a high achiever in everything she does. Like Adrienne, women who compete at the highest levels in a male-dominated environment need to be mentally strong, bold, focused and ambitious.

Our involvement with female skippers and sailing continued when, in 2011, we sponsored Jessica Watson. Jess assembled and skippered the youngest crew ever to race in the iconic Sydney to Hobart race, with sailors ranging in age from 17 to 21. Jess had just been named Young Australian of the Year after sailing solo around the world. (You’ll find more on Jess’s amazing achievements in the Talking Bold interview at the end of chapter 4.) But leading a team was a different experience. The crew trained hard for three months and lived together in a house on the northern beaches of New South Wales. It was like Big Brother, but learning to live and work as a team was critical not only for their success in the race, but also their survival in one of the most challenging yacht races that exists. Jess went on to successfully lead the team to Hobart and develop her leadership skills. Ironically, she could only enter the race when she turned 18, which meant waiting until 2011, two years after she finished sailing solo around the world. Rules exist everywhere — even for the stars.

Making bold moves

Being a family business, Ella Baché is built around our own values and personality to leverage a unique voice in the marketplace. Ella Baché’s advertising has always been bold, and the business has grown around the idea that we push boundaries — that’s the personality of the brand and that’s what challenger brands do. In 2013 we shot a new brand campaign that was beautiful, contemporary and sophisticated. The shot was of four girls showing healthy skin — no boobs, bottoms or anything that could possibly be deemed as being ‘inappropriate’. It was a celebration of confident women in their skin, a position in the market we had always owned and desired. It was exciting to launch the campaign across our stores, billboards, digital and magazines; we had worked hard and crafted something magical.

The morning it went live, I received a phone call from the outdoor Advertising Standards Board to say that the image of the girls not smiling was to be pulled and taken down from all billboards. It was too provocative and sexy and women shouldn’t be portrayed like this, but they went on to explain that the image of the girls smiling was okay and could stay. That day snowballed into a storm of controversial media interviews, TV stories and people’s opinions. We defended the ad because we had to make sure we had a voice in the market to empower people to feel comfortable in their own skin — after all, we were advertising a healthy skin. I will defend this belief and market position each and every time. The ban was reversed and the campaign went on to be a massive success and win numerous awards. Running a challenger brand and having to punch above your weight against multinationals and public companies means you have to be bold, different and have your voice heard. You can’t pay your way to success and there is something really inspiring about that.

Growing up with a dad who had built the brand and marketing alongside Ella and my grandparents by designing creative and innovative marketing campaigns has influenced my approach. I often hear him say, ‘don’t ask for permission, just apologise later’. Trying to carve out my own voice, growing up in a family business with a legacy to follow, meant being bold. The world is so different now from when my grandparents, or even my father, ran the company, and in many ways there are a lot more rules and regulations around what you can and can’t do. I remember some iconic campaigns that my dad developed in the 1990s that really put the brand in the public eye and built its name. Perhaps the most legendary campaign was an ad featuring a group of naked Sydney Swans AFL players, each with a big tube of Ella Baché sunscreen in front of their nether region and the tagline ‘Protect Your Largest Organ’. A bold move indeed!

Getting social

Communication and platforms have evolved greatly since the 1990s. Social media and digital platforms now offer consumers a communicative shopfront that enables same-level information and exchange among audiences and the brand creating a long-lasting feedback communication process that gives both the brand and the consumer full-circle engagement. Today it’s not only the brand creating perception but also the consumer. This enables — as Seth Godin, a global marketing thought leader, calls it — ‘leverage’. All the tools we need to build ourselves are there for anyone to use. You now have the same access as billion-dollar companies. You can use these tools or not, but you can’t deny the access is there. The digital space has seen a fast rise for many indie brands that a decade ago without social media would not have had this opportunity. It also offers an amazing opportunity for brands to share their story with consumers seeking transparency like never before, giving them an understanding of what and who are behind the brands.

A few years ago I read about a well-known nail bar in New York City that had been exposed for paying its staff well below the award wage and leaving them to work in appalling conditions. These conditions were discovered by young millennial New Yorkers, and the story went viral. The following week that business closed down. This shows the power of consumers, transparency and social media today. In the 1980s and 1990s the beauty industry was largely based on traditional and predictable beauty in an aspirational way. The communications model of the past was to create aspiration through imagery, a method that is debated today. Decades ago there was still a high level of conformity within which the beauty and skin industry presented itself. This became an opportunity for Ella Baché’s very different brand personality, and the way it expressed itself to the market made us stand out, own our voice and create a space.

In today’s digital world, the internet and social media have completely revolutionised the way we communicate and the way we buy things. Our focus today at Ella Baché is getting the attention of our customers where they search, which is Google, Instagram, Facebook, emails and our website. This has created a platform for individuals and brands to amplify their voice in a personalised way that we have never seen before. It also means we operate at breakneck speed. Did you know it took 40 years for 50 million people to get a radio, and it took Facebook just one year to get 50 million followers? We are more connected and networked than ever before. People no longer watch advertisements — when they come on during a TV show, it disrupts what they’re watching and annoys them. Most people I know watch Netflix, Stan and other paid networks instead just to avoid ads. The way brands communicate needs to be more relevant and personalised these days. Ads no longer pop up on your TV screen; they visit you on your news feeds and mobiles. The great part about this (for the brands) is that they can now target you more easily. They know where you live, how many kids you have, how much you earn and probably what you had for breakfast. This creates an issue for big global brands as you can no longer simply spend your way to success. Data, understanding your customer and curating relevant and interesting content are key.

I’m guilty of letting my sons use their iPad and I take the view that as long as it’s limited and they’re outside playing most of the time, it’s just what kids today do. But one of their favourite things to watch is Ryan’s Toy Reviews on YouTube. At first I had no idea who Ryan was or why they were watching this. After doing five minutes of research, I found out that Ryan — a seven-year-old boy — has the fourth most-watched YouTube channel in the world and is a massive advertising opportunity for brands to reach kids. The need for creativity and owning your voice is greater than ever.

Similarly, President Trump — like him or hate him — has completely bypassed the media and takes to Twitter, controlling his own messages and what he puts out there. It won him the election. This can either overwhelm you or excite you, or both. Regardless, we live in a digital age and there is no turning back. Starting or running a business today requires great data and speed. I often wonder what the world will be like when my kids are older. The exciting thing for entrepreneurs is if you can solve people’s problems and take to market a great product that has a need, you can leverage social media to get attention pretty effectively.

I was in Singapore in early 2018. It was the week that the first driverless car in LA was launched. I was reflecting on what jobs will be around in the future and what capabilities my kids should be building if so much of what we do becomes automated, making so many jobs redundant. We went to the zoo that day, which is about a 20-minute drive from the centre of Singapore. Looking out of the cab window, I observed that all the ‘road workers’ were robots: they told us to slow down, pointed out the roadworks and directed us into the zoo. Where a few years ago we would have seen about 30 human road workers along the route of our 20-minute trip, that day there wasn’t one in sight. I sat in the back of the cab and wondered if the cab driver was worried about his job since the headlines in all the newspapers that day were about the launch of the first driverless car. Although it’s not yet perfected, it’s not far away. I came to the conclusion that our kids’ creativity and problem-solving abilities need to be nurtured and grown like never before. This leads me to worry about how much the Australian education system is lagging behind other advanced countries.

Finding your voice

As I said earlier, having your own values is essential. You need to find and own your voice, stand for something meaningful, be consistent, and build trust and authenticity to create deep-lasting relationships. In this new digital world content and understanding SEO (search engine optimisation) are king. The best part about this is that it means writing a lot. It means being curious, committed to learning and protecting the creative vision. Where a decade ago it was the big brands that influenced our decisions, as we’ve already seen, today it’s human influencers. People want to know the humans behind the brands: they want to see what’s behind the logos and meet the people who created, founded and grew these brands.

Along with owning your voice comes a responsibility to create your personal and professional values with good intentions — to create a voice that’s unique to you — and to keep it simple. Presenting a clear and consistent message to an entire audience that is universally understood, is the most effective approach. Richard Branson is an expert at this.

A few years ago I went to a work lunch event where I was the only female. I had never met anyone else at the lunch before. The man who was hosting the event said to me, ‘When doing your introduction, make sure you say something that will shock people’. I asked him for an example and his response was, ‘Just tell everyone that you’re a lesbian or something like that’. I was so shocked, I moved away and, although I sat through the event, I couldn’t wait to get out of there. This guy was supposedly very successful and ran a well-known company. I couldn’t believe he could be so clueless! But I did walk away kicking myself that I didn’t stand up and tell him exactly what I was thinking and how wrong his comment was in so many ways. Needless to say, I would never buy from or interact with that company again.

About 12 months before Australia legalised same-sex marriage, I put Ella Baché forward as a brand that supported an LGBT charity. A few weeks later I received a letter from a state politician accusing me and Ella Baché of discriminating against employees who didn’t support LGBT equality. It was in that moment that I realised that it’s perfectly acceptable to tear up a letter from any well-known person — even a state politician — and throw it in the rubbish bin! We’re lucky we live in a country where we can do this, so we have to use our voice and stand up for what we believe in.

I’m often surrounded by strong men in the boardroom or at business-group meetings. Finding a voice and expressing how it is different for women takes speaking out, but in general most men I’ve come across during my career have been extremely supportive once you get to know them.

So it’s great to see this generation is a lot more supportive of women in the workplace and that we’ve moved forward from when women were each other’s worst enemy at work. Unfortunately, I’ve seen and experienced it all — the jealousy, withholding information, exclusion, competitiveness, cruelty — you name it. I don’t believe it’s as common for young women these days to feel that they need to struggle, fight and be miserable just because the women before them did.

Practising speaking up

Ella Baché is about being the best you can be and we give many, many women an opportunity to receive a great education and become businesswomen in their own right. I’ve seen countless girls come out of our Ella Baché College and eventually go on to win awards, build great teams and businesses, and set up an amazing life for themselves. In many cases their partners end up quitting their corporate jobs and working with them in the business. As I’ve said before, culture is a really important part of Ella Baché and continuing the values that Ella held so close. Celebrating individuality is really important to us, as is ensuring there is zero tolerance for negative behaviour, bitchiness or not supporting your colleagues. Of course we have really healthy debates involving lots of passion, but we also have lots of laughs every day! When it comes to culture and behaviours I use my voice loud and clear if someone is not behaving in a positive way towards someone else. Our great culture comes largely from having so much individuality and diversity in ages, races, tenure and expertise and at the end of the day we embrace that and have a great laugh together, no matter how tough the day has been. I walk into so many different work spaces and offices and the first thing I notice is how quiet they are and that no-one is laughing. Of course you need time to think and work, but business is about people and positive energy — and everyone needs to laugh and smile too!

Owning my voice is something I have had to work on, and still do. I’m certainly not the bossiest, most extroverted person by any means. I’ve always been very social, so I’ve always loved getting energy from other people. I’ve never had any problems with being passionate and putting my ideas forward, but if there is a real bully in the room, that’s when I back down as I have a hard time dealing with confrontation. I’ve had to learn to manage bullies because I’m not a bully naturally, and I’ve had to learn how to de-power bullies in my life so they don’t just override me and own the outcome. I’ve learned to take a step back and if people have something to say, they need to get it out and feel heard. So I let people express themselves and in a way it de-powers them a bit — it lets the heat out of the situation. I’ll then ask the questions, try to engage them, and try to persuade them and influence them in a very non-threatening way. I never try and out-bully a bully; it won’t work.

Finding your voice, stepping out and being visible are uncomfortable. Even though I’m an extrovert, I’m not an off-the-charts extrovert and I do have some shyness about me. I’m not that centre-of-attention person who naturally wants to own that space in the spotlight all the time. Over time, I’ve learned to be comfortable with owning that visible space and my voice if I’m saying something I’m passionate about and I know I can positively influence the people who are listening. I don’t perceive myself to be extraordinary by any means; we’re all out there doing our best.

Stepping out of your comfort zone and being visible often opens you to the opinion of others. Being a mum, I’m naturally protective of my kids as they didn’t choose the journey that I’m on so ensuring my family remains out of the public eye is very important to me.

Understanding what you want and what you are fighting for certainly means focusing your time and energy and making them a priority. Every day, a hundred different things can erode your focus and energy. Working out what the enablers are to bring your vision or ideal day to life means carving out the time each and every day and deciding how to say no to things that aren’t going to add value. This is particularly tricky when you have competing things coming at you: work, kids, friends, you name it. Figuring out how best to adapt can really free you up to spend time on the things that mean the most, and that is the topic of chapter 3.