CONCLUSION

THE POWER OF MEANING

Losing your way on a journey is unfortunate. But, losing the reason for the journey is a fate more cruel.

– H. G. WELLS

This last chapter is not about your eulogy but rather your legacy. I’m not talking about leaving behind a name on a building because, frankly, that’s an ego trip. Rather, what will people say when they hear your name? Why are you on this planet?

Remember the age-old story of the two bricklayers. One said he was laying bricks. The other said, “Building a cathedral.” In that response we hear a powerful motivation. It’s called meaning—doing something that is purposeful beyond immediate gain.

The clearer you can be faithful to that why, the more energy you have to live each day. You have a gift, a contribution to make, and, as Kahlil Gibran tells us, “when you work, you fulfill a part of earth’s furthest dream, assigned to you when that dream was born.” Remember the housekeeper in the hospital who brought her art into the environment and who sang to patients. I believe her why is just as important as why the surgeon chooses to work in an operating room.

Thomas H. Lee, MD, Chief Medical Officer for Press Ganey, sought to understand what intrinsic and extrinsic forces create a good doctor and how one can stay in a profession that continues to lose practitioners from stress and burnout. As I read his research in The Good Doctor, I was struck by the fact that a sense of purpose and an ability to get outraged on behalf of patients were two of the common characteristics among “good doctors.”¹ One doesn’t get outraged about a situation unless one cares deeply, along with feeling that one’s purpose is to make a contribution f or the better. And for the doctors who became Lee’s case studies, the purpose did not appear overnight. They had to also search.

Like the doctors, your why might be slowly unfolding by fits and starts, twists and turns. I believe it is uncovered by seeking what brings you joy. Frederick Buechner stated it this way: “The place God calls you is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet.”

Phil Gerbyshak, now the VP of sales training at Vector Solutions, believes he is more in alignment with his why. “I’m serving more people and making a bigger difference. That’s important to me. My grandmother taught me years ago that it’s all about the people you serve. It’s the purpose they have and a higher purpose that you get to serve. I am totally in line with that. The people I serve are not just the sales team, but we sell and impact police, firefighters, teachers, college professors, architects, engineers, and construction workers. Our education platform helps everyday heroes. We’re literally saving lives through the courses we sell.”

Phil’s deep gladness comes from having multiple ways to use his potential. He concludes, “Potential, and peace and higher purpose. That’s pretty cool. That’s who I am. More energetic and more at peace than ever.” Ahhhh.

Becky, at this stage of her life and as caretaker for both a mother and a daughter, sees a convergence of everything she’s been talking, preaching, and writing about. As a hospice chaplain, one of the main comments she heard from patients was “I don’t want to feel my life was pointless.” She says, “I began to see that the people who thrived in this last stage of life found ways to address their comfort, some degree of control, their community, and their connection to things that had meaning beyond themselves. In this stage of my life, caring for my mother and daughter has meaning beyond me. I am the provider and it fills my heart … and I also know my self-care is as important as being a provider, so I don’t get into burnout.” Breakthrough! Ahhhh.

Lin Franklin regards why as a complex question with three layers. Her high purpose is to make a difference in the lives of future generations by paying it forward. She not only talks about mentoring and helping other employees but also puts that thought into action. And she has two more layers on her list: her higher purpose is to help her children have strong, healthy lives. And the highest purpose of all: bringing an awareness of and thanks to God.

Hamza, my youngest case study and also my most burned out, has come to a place where his why is becoming clearer because, as he says, “I’m finally, for the first time in a long time, in control of my priorities as opposed to having my priorities control me. I’m a son, a brother, a partner. Before any professional designations and titles, I’m Hamza, somebody who is an author, somebody who is an educator, somebody who is a speaker.” Hamza added another piece of his newly found wisdom: “Burn but not out. Let that be a guiding principle for everything you do in life. There must be a flame of excitement when you find what is a good and timely version of something you wish to do, but keep it integrated with energy expended in wise ways for what matters.” Ahhhh.

I believe that Sarah Ban Breathnach in her book Simple Abundance describes Hamza’s sentiment as authentic success: “Authentic success is knowing that if today were your last day on earth, you could leave without regret. Authentic success is feeling focused and serene when you work, not fragmented. It’s knowing that you’ve done the best that you possibly can, no matter what circumstances you faced; it’s knowing in your soul that the best you can do is all you can do, and that the best you can do is always enough.”²

Enough. We will still have days when we put our heads on a pillow and wonder if we were “enough.” If we did “enough.” “Enough” is not about curing cancer, solving our climate crisis, or achieving world peace. On those days, it’s wise to recall the words of Marianne Williamson in her illuminating book A Return to Love. “No matter what form our job or activity takes, the content is the same as everyone else’s; we’re here to minister to the human heart. If we talk to anyone, or see anyone, or even think of anyone, then we have the opportunity to bring more love into the universe. From a waitress to the head of a movie studio, from a crane operator to the president of a nation, there is no one whose job is unimportant to God.”³

When I recall those words, I think of my beloved brother-in-law, Noam Pitlik. Susan and Noam lost his battle with lung cancer. Noam was an Emmy Award–winning comedy director in Hollywood. If you are old enough, you might recall his television shows: Barney Miller, Taxi, Mr. Belvedere, and more. At the celebration of Noam’s life, in an industry that can be known for eating its young alive, I listened to people offering their thoughts. No one said, “He made us a lot of money” or “He won us Emmys.” Rather, they talked about how Noam interacted with everyone. He treated everyone—from the lowly wardrobe clerk to the star of the show—with dignity, respect, and compassion. He knew that everyone brought something to the party. Ahhhh. That’s meaningful. What a legacy.

FINAL THOUGHTS

Admiral William H. McRaven gave the commencement speech for the graduating class from the University of Texas at Austin in 2004. The speech went viral and generated a great book.⁴ I chuckled when I saw the video of his speech because Mom—who preceded the admiral by decades—wouldn’t let us leave for school if we hadn’t made our beds. To hear this advice from a Navy Seal gave me a new appreciation for Mom’s wisdom.

There are days in which the burnout bogeyman will rear its fire-breathing snout. You can only do what you can do. I like the thought that sometimes, making your bed is the best place to start.

I hope that, as you have gone through this book, you’ve encountered Ahas, insights about the Now of your life and what you can do to create the energy connections to move into breakthrough. Building resilience is a lifelong process, and each time you practice, the ability to refuel, recharge, and reclaim what matters becomes a little easier. Ahhhh.

But reading a book is not enough. Remember, action is the antidote for anxiety. You must stop, look, listen, and then—act. I have discovered that once you commit to taking action, amazing things fall into place and life takes turns you could never have imagined.

Perhaps it is my Scots-Irish heritage that introduced me years ago to the writing of William Hutchison Murray, a Scottish mountain climber and writer. In his book The Scottish Himalayan Expedition he wrote a paragraph that has forever stayed with me:

Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favour all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now.⁵

You’ve stuck with me through reading this book. I believe you know how to breakout and move into breakthrough and align your energy to what matters most! Yes, there will be times in which you must pick yourself up and start again. But each time you grow stronger. Your power to recharge, refuel, and reclaim what matters begins now. Go for it!