Index

action 137–81

commitment to 50–9, 91–7

discomfort tolerance 140, 165–72

fear of disapproval 173–81

fear of failure 141–8

fear of success 149–56

perfectionism 157–64

Alcoholics Anonymous 18

anxiety

boring tasks 201

commitment to action 52, 58, 91–7

fear of disapproval 174–6, 178–80

fear of failure 144, 146–7, 202–3, 206, 208

fear of success 149–51, 154–6

goal setting 71–5, 79–81, 91–7

information gathering 29–30, 33–5, 37, 55–6, 57–8

life conditions 47–8

low frustration tolerance 117

not knowing what you want 6, 7–9, 11–12, 14, 40–1, 43, 85–6, 88–9

perfectionism 160, 161, 163

planning 112, 116, 120–1, 125–6, 128

presentation 175

self-damning beliefs 110, 119

thinking about what you want 17

approval from others 173–81

avoidance

awfulising beliefs 12, 152

boring tasks 198–9, 200, 201

discomfort 140, 168

fear of disapproval 175–6

fear of failure 204

fear of success 150–1

goal setting 72, 73, 75

information gathering 31, 35, 45

not knowing what you want 7, 12, 88–9

planning 105, 109–10

awfulising beliefs

caring for others 188, 190–2

commitment to action 54–6, 92–3

discomfort 167–8

fear of disapproval 175–6

fear of failure 142–4, 204–5

fear of success 151–2

goal setting 72–3

life conditions 47–8

not knowing what you want 11–12, 38, 40–1, 85–6

perfectionism 159–60

planning 113, 114–16

beliefs

boredom 197, 201

caring for others 189, 195–6

commitment to action 50–1, 58–9, 91–7

discomfort 17–18, 20–1, 140, 165–6, 171–2

fear of disapproval 173–4

fear of failure 141, 144–5, 146–8, 202–3, 207–8

fear of success 149–50, 155–6

focusing on your goal 209

goal setting 70–98

information gathering 31–2, 35–6, 59–60

life conditions 45, 48–9

not knowing what you want 7, 8–16, 23, 37–44, 83–4, 88–90, 212–13

perfectionism 112–13, 157–8, 163–4

planning 105–11, 112–13, 121, 122–3, 134

post-goal attainment period 212

thinking about what you want 17–22

see also awfulising beliefs; healthy beliefs; self-damning beliefs

black-and-white mindset 46, 53, 76, 170

boredom 31, 32, 36, 197–201

caring for others 187–96

comfort 17, 165–7 see also discomfort

commitment to action 50–9, 91–7

confidence 5, 21, 106, 119, 126, 166, 212

approval from others 180

awfulising beliefs 152

discomfort tolerance 169

self-damning beliefs 13–14, 127, 162, 178

small tasks 138

control 18, 184–5

cost-benefit analysis 131–3

decision making 131

demands 10, 38–9, 46, 72, 84

comfort 165, 166–7

commitment to action 50, 52, 92

fear of failure 141–2, 144, 203–4

fear of success 149, 150–1

goal setting 70–1, 78–9

information gathering 32–3, 42

perfectionism 157, 158–9

planning 106–7, 112–13, 118, 120

depression 6, 11, 15, 71, 110, 119

disapproval, fear of 173–81

discomfort 10, 17–18, 20–1, 36, 211, 214

goal setting 79, 80, 94

taking action 140, 164, 165–72

failure 12–13, 75, 95, 152, 185, 210, 214

fear of 141–8, 202–9

perfectionism 157, 161–2

planning 112–13, 115–16, 120–1, 126–7, 135

fallibility 13, 58, 77, 95, 162, 164, 185

fear of failure 146, 147, 203, 207

not knowing what you want 15, 44, 89

planning 119, 121

feedback 185–6, 202, 210

friends 149, 150, 151, 154

frustration see low frustration tolerance

goals 2, 23, 61–99, 130–1

achieving your 211–14

commitment to action 91–7

effort and difficulty 78–82

focus on 183–210

information gathering 29–30

knowing how to set 70–7

not knowing what you want 83–90

planning 102, 104, 114, 125, 134, 135

setting reminders 182

small 138, 164, 172

SMART 63, 64–9, 77, 97, 98

tasks 139–40, 181

writing down 67, 98

hard work, beliefs about 31–6, 105–11

healthy beliefs 21, 22, 143–4, 196, 212

approval from others 180

boring tasks 201

discomfort tolerance 172

fear of failure 147, 208

fear of success 156

goal setting 77, 82, 91, 97

information gathering 59

not knowing what you want 15–16, 89–90, 213

perfectionism 163–4

planning 110–11, 129, 134

high frustration tolerance (HFT) 21, 89–90, 117, 197, 199, 214

information gathering 25–60

commitment to action 50–9

hard work and effort 31–6

life conditions 45–9

not knowing what you want 37–44

learning 71, 124, 125–6, 128–9

life wheel 3

low frustration tolerance (LFT)

boredom 199–200

caring for others 188, 192–3

commitment to action 56–7, 93–4

discomfort 168–9

fear of disapproval 176–7

fear of failure 144–5, 205–6

fear of success 152–3

goal setting 74–5, 79–80

information gathering 33–4

not knowing what you want 10–11, 38, 39–40, 84–5

perfectionism 160–1

planning 106, 107–8, 113, 116–17, 125–6

thinking about what you want 19–20

motivation 52, 63, 64, 138, 166, 197

part/whole error 42, 170, 178

perfectionism 112–21, 157–64

planning 101–35, 184

hard work and effort 105–11

perfectionism 112–21

reasons for 103

wanting your goals 130–1

writing a plan 122–9

presentation anxiety 175

priorities 187–96

procrastination 107–8, 138, 140, 157, 163, 197, 201, 215

reminders, setting 182, 184

resilience 21, 36, 129, 169, 177, 199

rigid beliefs 13, 53, 95, 97

self-acceptance 12, 44, 111, 119, 121, 146, 178, 214

self-beliefs 48–9

self-damning beliefs

caring for others 188, 193–4

commitment to action 52–4, 94–5

discomfort 169–71

fear of disapproval 177–8

fear of failure 145–6, 206–7

fear of success 153–4

goal setting 75–6

not knowing what you want 12–14, 15, 38, 41–3, 86–7

perfectionism 161–2

planning 109, 110, 113, 118–19, 120–1, 126–7

self-reflection 3, 8, 9

SMART goals 63, 64–9, 77, 97, 98

strengths 13, 53, 75, 87, 170

success, fear of 149–56

timelines 66

uncertainty 37–44, 83, 113–14, 116, 120, 121, 214

values 188

weaknesses 13, 53, 75, 87, 170