Life, as political philosopher Thomas Hobbes put it, may be "nasty, brutish, and short." On the other hand anyone who spends much time around young kids—who has a family, or who photographs children—might think that a better description is "dirty, chaotic, and surprise-filled."

Faced with the chaos that kids leave in their wake and all around them, the photographer—like the parent—has really only two options. You can attempt to control the kid energy and precisely position and pose kids as you would with adults. Alternatively, you can go with the flow and take advantage of the creative urges of your pint-sized subjects.

I strongly urge going with the flow. There's nothing to stop you from giving minor assists to the direction of the shoot, perhaps by setting up lighting in advance, providing appropriate props, or suggesting themes for playing. But you'll get photos that are more interesting, and truer to life if you give up the photographer's eternal quest for control—and just let kids be kids. Be ready to take advantage of the inevitable surprises with quick thinking and improvisation, but don't try to turn kids into little wooden statues in formal clothes. It just doesn't work.

The key thing when photographing children is to capture gesture, emotion, mood, facial expression, and fleeting fantasy.

I have to admit that my standards for a technically acceptable photo are relaxed when I photograph kids, partly because nobody who counts—the kids being photographed and their parents—really cares about technical perfection in this context. It's more important to get the image because as quickly as kids move, the opportunity will quickly be gone. I try my best to get eyes in focus, but if the photo shows the spirit of the child I'm not going to worry too much if my focus is off by a little bit.

To get a good portrait of a kid in action I'm perfectly prepared to boost my ISO like crazy (into the 800-2000 range). These are mostly photos taken with the lens wide open for maximum shutter speed and low depth-of-field. However, the maximum shutter speed possible, even with a boosted ISO, may not be very fast.

I'll hand hold shots of kids at slow shutter speeds that I wouldn't use normally without a tripod. This is a place where image stabilization (also called vibration reduction) is a really good idea because it does let you shoot hand held at slower shutter speeds than would otherwise be feasible.

My philosophy of photographing children is to be childlike: my camera is curious, active, and moves on with no regrets to the next shot. Don't try to stifle the inherent nature of your subjects: instead become more like them. Your photographs will become happier and more joyful, and better express the nature of your subjects.

"Happy families are all alike," wrote Leo Tolstoy. When it comes to photographing children, families are a mixed—but necessary—blessing, although not necessarily all alike.

You need parents for there to be kids in the first place, and many parents will want to be present when you photograph their kids. Having parents present may make kids relax at first, but it will certainly skew the direction of the shoot, particularly when a parent feels inclined to start directing.

Things are different when it is your own family! While techniques do exist for including the photographer in a family photo—you can put the camera on a tripod, or use a mirror—the fact is that there are many more photos of my kids and family than there are of me.

If you are the photographer of your own family, keep a sense of perspective. No photograph is worth upsetting your spouse or kids. If your family has fun with photography, and enjoys the photos, they are likely to be much more supportive in the long run than if they are bullied into posing for your camera.

Photographing someone else's family for fun or profit presents other challenges. Once again you want your subjects to have fun, but you also want to show decent results commensurate with the time (and possibly money) set aside to create portraits. I recommend a clear discussion of goals and ground rules in advance. Many parents try to take over photo sessions of their kids with the best of intentions, but it doesn't usually work out well in terms of the quality of the photography—or the enjoyment of the kids in the process. Once again, it is worth noting that no photo is worth disturbing the peace of mind of a child.

As a practical matter, the more fun kids have the better your photos of families are likely to come out. Costumes and fun props are a great idea.

In less formal situations, think about the course of daily life. What really goes on in those happy families that are all alike? Try to capture these often unobserved events—they will make for interesting photos.

Norman Rockwell moments—preparing for Halloween, the first haircut, and so on—can make for great photos, and you should be ready. However, don't concentrate on photography so much that you are not fully present for the events themselves.

Family stories can sometimes be told through the details: hard working feet, hands being held across multiple generations, celebrations, and more. Don't neglect to watch for the trees when photographing the forest that is the family—sometimes a close-up can tell more of the whole story than a broader view.

When I tell someone that I am making a "portrait," they often think of something formal—suitable for framing, dress-up clothes, and maybe as stiffly posed as a nineteenth century tintype. You probably won't be surprised to learn that I do not believe in formal portraiture of kids. My motto is to let kids be kids—and kids tear around, get holes in their clothes, and seldom stick in any pose long.

Still, it is sometimes nice to have some shots closer to formal portraiture—even when the subject is a child.

I find that the best strategy for achieving this result is to start by letting them do their thing, whatever that is, provided it doesn't result in the destruction of your studio or your living room. This kind of approach gets the nervous energy out of the way and lets the kids have some fun.

At some point down the line, you can start to think about generating portraits. To make this happen there are two general approaches. You can wait for it, and snap the portrait at the decisive moment. Alternatively, you can try to direct the kids into position, pose, and costume. Either approach can work, but is a little different than working with adults.

First, bear in mind that kids can be comfortable in small spaces that might not feel right to adults. A vast studio space or living room might seem cavernous to kids, so you are better off finding a more intimate shooting space.

If you are practicing watchful waiting, be sure to fire off photos from time to time. This will get the kids used to the idea that you are photographing so they won't suddenly change what they are doing when you start taking photos "for real."

Be prepared with the right exposure already set in your camera, and a background that works visually. Generally, as fast a shutter speed as possible is best—the side effect of having low depth-of-field helps isolate the subjects from the background, and no one is looking for f/64 end-to-end sharpness in this context.

When I am taking a more active role in planning a portrait, I'll often place my camera on a short tripod set at kids' height before I start directing. When I do get kids into costume I try not to be too fussy about minor details, and I phrase directions as gentle requests rather than commands.

Speaking of height, we're quite used to looking in a downward direction at children—so, while head-on portraits of adults seem natural, head-on portraits of kids can look unusual. But personally I prefer to photograph kids as equals, and get down on their level so they seem to be my height—or even sometimes taller. I think this angle presents images of kids that have more dignity than the standard downward angle, and kids appreciate that I am not towering above them when I take their photo.

Even my formal portraits of kids don't have much in the way of formality. So how can you go even more casual?

The answer is by having kids doing things, or by capturing them in the process of engaging in activities. Try to find toys they like. Ask them to play at being a pirate. Have your camera ready at the face painting booth of a street fair. Look out for costumes, and for kids entering and exiting rooms. And always be aware of the light!

A quick trigger finger and a camera that is configured in advance is your friend when it comes to casual portraits of kids. Don't worry too much about exposure, just do the best you can. Pay more attention to what the kid is doing and the quality of light. Nobody will care if your exposure is dead-on and your focus is accurately centered on the eyes if the child has a dead expression and isn't doing anything interesting.

Casual kid photography is about the revelation of character—and having fun. It is not about documentation. To be perfectly honest, it is also about the "cuteness factor." Don't forget that kids are inherently cute—more so even than kittens and puppies. Capture that cuteness and your photos are winners.

A child should be the subject of his portrait. But sometimes the environment that a infant or small child finds themselves in says more than the child's face—or adds to the knowledge viewers get from looking at a conventional view.

Keep your eyes open for environmental details that shed additional light on the character of the child being photographed.

All photographs tell a story. Consider the narrative of your photos. How can this narrative be improved by stepping back in your viewpoint and including the details that surround your child—the toys, their friends, the context of their life?

Successful environmental portraiture of kids means including the context in the images you make. Adding these details will almost always make your photos more interesting—and tell a story that may go beyond portraiture.

Don't be a bore. Making sure your kids will love photography comes down to those four little words. They are important enough that I will say them again: Don't be a bore.

Kids get bored easily. When they are bored they are unhappy. There is no photograph on the planet that is worth making a child unhappy.

Parents and other photographers are guilty of boring kids in two different contexts. The first is insisting that their progeny pose when the progeny don't want to—and for longer amounts of time than anyone could reasonably be expected to endure. This problem is worst at traditional holidays. Please, don't make your kids pose in front of the Christmas tree if they aren't into it.

You'd think that the worst offenders would be photography pros—who "need" to get the photo, or may have their egos wrapped up in photography. Actually, enthusiastic amateurs tend to try the patience of their family and kids in this way far more than the pros. Any pro worth their salt knows they get better results by being low-key.

The second boredom hazard in relationship to your kids is a danger for avid photographers. If you are going to spend a great deal of time photographing something, and your kids are along, make sure they have something to do. This can be as simple as a snowfield to play in, or a book to read. But don't expect kids to wait patiently while you line up your tripod if they are bored—and don't expect them to appreciate your photos if you bored them to tears making the images.