Your vision will change

Your vision will change. So don’t worry about trying to create a vision that will address every possible detour your life might take. In fact, your vision will continue to change throughout your life as you reach important milestones. After you reach one milestone, you set a new vision for what you want in life and in business.

I’ve always updated my vision in ten-year increments — when I was 30, 40, 50, and so on. I didn’t always reach every goal, and I didn’t always get there the way I thought I would. I definitely had some bumps and detours along the way. But almost every time, I ended up where I wanted to be.

To succeed in direct selling, you must have a vision of why you want to succeed in this business.

The importance of having a vision before you set goals

Vision is your why and is attached to your heart. It’s not just the bigger picture; it’s a fire in your belly that keeps you going even when life isn’t fun or easy. When people think about successfully accomplishing something, they often think of goals. They set goals, work them, and (hopefully) achieve them. Goals are your how. They’re typically made up of a series of short-term tasks that build up to a finish line. Goals are attached to your brain. When your heart and your brain work together, you can accomplish great things.

Being a leader and helping others with their vision

According to my focus groups and industry surveys, only about 1 percent of people are born with the natural ability to help others create a vision. The rest have to develop the ability to mentor through practice.

When you join your company, you’ll want to explore the career plan and ranks within your company, as well as the qualifications to achieve them. According to your company’s career plan, you technically become a leader when you start to bring other people into the business and achieve a leadership rank within the career/compensation plan.

But being a leader means more than that. Part of what it means to be a leader is the ability to inspire others to discover their vision and their success story. You must become a student of it and help others find their why. Find the fire in your belly and then help others find the fire in their bellies. See Chapter 20 for more on what it means to be a leader.

The real gift when it comes to vision is when you master helping others achieve their vision. Starting to see results in people’s lives that you touch and truly inspire is the most rewarding feeling in the world — far beyond any financial measure.

Building vision in others is important because it helps them remember why the challenges are worth going through. As a leader, you know they’ll face challenges while building their business. By helping them build vision, you give them staying power.

Being enthusiastic in all interactions

Remaining excited about your business at all times is important. Be passionate and confident about what you’re doing, your success, and your business because people will mirror that same reaction.

If you call a past host and say, “Hey Emma, it’s Belinda. I know it’s been a while since we did a party, but I wanted to let you know I have a new catalog. I’d like to show it to you. What do you think?”

Emma will probably respond with something like, “Send it to me and I’ll ask around. If I get any interest, I’ll call you back.”

On the other hand, if you call Emma having already decided to be excited about your new catalog instead of sounding indifferent, your conversation might go something like this: “Oh my gosh, Emma, I can’t wait to show you our new catalog. Your friends are going to love it! We have so many amazing new products that you’re absolutely going to love. My calendar is already filling up fast! You don’t want to miss out on this. I only have Tuesday, May fifth and Saturday, May 23 open. Do either of those dates work for you?”

Her reaction will most likely be, “Okay, Let’s book the 23!” instead of being unsure or hesitant. If you show Emma that you’re excited, then she’ll be excited.

Many new representatives are nervous about trying to secure bookings or get new business because they often lack confidence. They feel unsure and don’t want to seem pushy. Instead of keeping a positive attitude and sharing their excitement for their business, a new rep usually says something like this:

“Hi Maria, this is Robin.” (Lots of small talk.) “Well, I don’t want to keep you. I know you’re busy … and you may or may not be interested … but I went to a _______ party and really liked the products, so I decided to join the company. I just have to do six parties to really get my business off the ground. If not, it’s okay. I don’t like to pressure my friends, as you know, but if you would help me out, that would be awesome.”

This rep comes off as shy, afraid, and unsure how to handle things. If you remind yourself why you got into this business and remain excited and positive, your conversation with others would be very different.

Ask yourself why you started. Did you want to pay for your child’s camp this summer? Go on a well-deserved vacation? Maybe pay off some debt? Whatever your reason for joining the business, be sure to keep it in mind at all times. Write down your vision and goals and keep them somewhere easily accessible. Put them on your fridge, mirror, desk — and anywhere else you look. Keeping yourself focused on what you want and staying committed to achieving it will help you remain positive and excited while working with your customers and clients.

When you commit to having a positive attitude about your business, your conversations will begin to sound more like this:

“Hi Brittany, this is Sarah. I’m so glad I caught you. I’m sure you’re busy, so I won’t keep you. I just had some exciting news to share. I went to a _______ party on Thursday and was so impressed with the products. It was something I could really see myself sharing with others, so I decided to join the company as a way to meet new people and earn extra income for our family. Brittany, I’d absolutely love for you to get your friends together for a fun shopping experience. This is something I think they would really enjoy, and it will also give you an opportunity to receive some special thank-you gifts. This would really help me out. What do you think?”

Not only will you feel different about yourself and your business after having a conversation that begins like this one, but so will your hosts. Even if your host agreed to a party when you sounded unsure, they likely won’t turn out to be an enthusiastic host and will have that same attitude when inviting their friends to the party. By remaining positive and sharing your enthusiasm and excitement with leads, not only will you have a higher chance of booking events, you’ll have a greater chance of having successful ones because your host will be excited too.

Being excited while out and about

It’s important to be excited about getting new business, and that means bringing your enthusiasm about it with you wherever you go, whether showing up in person or online. Remember, the way you choose to show up on social media reflects on you, your brand, and your business. Make sure you’re making conscious and deliberate choices about what you share and post, which includes being intentional about anyone else’s posts you comment on or react to.

Whether you’re out and about in person or online, here are the three most important things to remember:

• Look and feel your best. Being excited about your business ensures that you’re always prepared to get business, and that means looking professional, whether you’re online or in person. Remember, many of these people will be introducing you to their friends, so looking presentable is important. Chapter 8 discusses the importance of dressing for success.
• Be ready with your positioning statement. Have your positioning statement ready to share whenever the opportunity might arise. In brief, your positioning statement, also known as your 30-second commercial, is designed to share with your leads exactly what you offer while creating a desire for it. Refer to Chapter 8 for more about your positioning statement.

• Figure out how to engage in conversations. Being energetic so you can network is key. That means starting conversations with people. An easy way to start conversations with someone is by complimenting them on something. A compliment gets people feeling good about themselves and more inclined to continue a conversation with you.

  Starting a conversation can be difficult, sure — but you have to force yourself to do it, because when you do, you have the opportunity to get some amazing results in return. When you’re online, by commenting on other people’s posts with an actual comment, not just an emoji, you’ll be a participant in the conversation and that can increase your chances of developing a relationship.

If you can wear your product or have it with you, great. Otherwise, you may want to have logo wear on or you may want to carry a bag with your logo on it.

Discovering how to deal with no

One thing you need to figure out quickly in this business — in any business, for that matter — is that people are going to tell you no.

Some people won’t like or want your product. They won’t want to book an event, and they won’t think direct sales is for them. And that’s okay. You can’t let them bring you down because getting a no actually means you’re closer to a yes.

When someone tells you no, remind yourself that they aren’t saying no to you because they don’t like you as a person. They’re saying no to the experience or to the product, maybe even because they don’t understand it.

Sometimes people are so fearful they’re going to get a no that it prevents them from getting a yes. The truth is, to get a yes, you need to get a number of no’s. If you ask ten people and one says yes, that means nine say no. So, when you get the no, be excited about it — because you know that a yes is just around the corner!

Many tend to take rejection personally and let it affect the way they think about their business. The first few times you hear no from your friends, family, or coworkers, or if no one shows up to your launch event, you may want to abandon your dreams. You’ll want to lose your positive attitude. You’ll start convincing yourself of things like these:

• Well, I really just wanted the products in the kit anyway.
• I guess it wasn’t meant to be.
• I’m actually too busy with my other job.
• I’ve earned back the cost of the kit, so it’s no big deal.

In fact, many people talk themselves out of the business before it even starts. That’s why you need to remain positive and committed to your goal. To get the results you want for your business, you have to stay focused, give your business the time and attention it deserves, and don’t let the no’s bring you down.

As with any new job, at times you’ll feel uncomfortable and unsure, especially at the beginning. But as long as you remain positive about your business — even through the no’s — you’ll find yourself attracting people you want.

Finding the silver lining in everything

Figuring out how to find the silver lining means discovering how to find the best in everything that happens. If you do your best and look for the good in every situation, then good things will come to you.

I remember when I was in the field, I booked a party with a woman who was older than 90 and lived two hours away. I went all the way there, and no one showed up. I could tell she was upset, so I stayed with her for two hours looking at photos of past vacations and things her grandchildren had made her. I could have gotten upset and written the evening off as a horrible night with money lost. Instead, I put my focus on her and making her feel good. I was hopeful that something good would come from the situation, and it did. She not only collected an abundance of outside orders, she helped me create the biggest booking chain of that summer.

Sometimes when you do something, you want an exchange of effort or a result right away. If you do good and help people, it comes back to you in other areas of your life. It might not come back to you at that exact moment, but eventually you’ll see the fruits of your labor.

Everyone faces challenges. What’s important is to not focus on the challenge itself, but rather to focus on the solutions. Here are two ways to do that.

Surround yourself with the right people

Knowing somebody has your back — there to spur you on when you’re doing a good job, there to lift you up when you’re feeling down, and there to give you the boost to inspire or to keep going — feels great. You need to believe in you, but having others around you who believe in you is a game changer.

Along these same lines, surround yourself with positive things that bring you joy. What do you have in your office, for example? If your office is disorganized, well, guess what? You’re going to feel that chaos when you’re trying to work. You want to surround yourself in your office with things that make you happy. On my office walls I have lots of quotes, meaningful messages, and some framed cards I’ve received that are beautiful or have a nice message. I also have pictures of my kids and my grandkids and some artwork the kids have done over the years. That’s because those items bring me joy. Make sure that your surroundings are also uplifting.

Stay positive: The three people you need

Every successful person will tell you they didn’t do it alone. Along their journey, they had people who believed in them, as well as people who didn’t, people who told them they could do anything they set their mind to, and others who told them they’d never be able to do it. Along the way, they had both motivators and detractors, and each of those people had an impact.

Being able to master focus, self-motivation, and goal-setting in order to make sure you succeed is one thing. It’s quite another to surround yourself with people who also want you to succeed. As you’re working toward success, find these three people to support you:

• Your cheerleader: Everyone has days when they’re just feeling down. You’re human, so don’t get too caught up in that being a problem. It’s not. However, sometimes you need to be “on” to get things done, even if you aren’t feeling it. That’s where your cheerleader comes in. You can reach out to this person and get a boost when you need one. The cheerleader is often a motivator. They can remind you why you’re doing what you’re doing. Your cheerleader is the voice that will always get you into a space where you can thrive again.
• Your accountability person: This is someone who can see through all of your insecurities and help you get to where you can move forward. This person really kicks your butt … in a good way. This person believes in you and speaks the truth. They help you to get past what is holding you back so you can take action. They remind you of what you’ve done before, what your goals are, what you said you were going to do, and why you’re doing what you’re doing.
• Your clarity person: You’ve probably had a time when your brain was so full of clutter that you needed help clearing the way. This person is able to listen, assist you to clear the stuff that doesn’t matter, and help you move forward. They’re the problem solvers, the solution-oriented friend who will say, “Let’s figure this out right now.”

On my success journey over the past 30 years, I’ve always had people filling these roles. Throughout the years, these people have changed. You’ll identify who these people are through the experiences you’ve had with them. You instinctively go to the one you need depending on your situation.

You may find these traits in one person. However, be careful about having the expectation that one person can meet all of these needs. The more people you have around you, the more you’ll benefit from the different perspectives.

Be grateful and use a gratitude journal

Research has proven that there are multiple benefits of gratitude including higher self-esteem, better sleep, improved psychological health, and stronger relationships. Gratitude practices have also been scientifically shown to change your brain in a good way! Gratitude comes from the Latin word gratus, which means “thankful” or “pleasing.” So, to be grateful is simply to have appreciation and express thanks.

You’ll always face challenges, setbacks, and struggles, but when you also make sure to include gratitude, you find that every day is truly a day to be thankful for your life. The following sections provide some clarity so you can make gratitude an easy habit in your everyday life.

Stay positive on social media

Your positive mindset also is important online. People are watching what you do and say on social media. They’re deciding what type of person you are, whether they like and trust you, and whether they want to do business with you.

Your social media platforms shouldn’t be places to air your dirty laundry, complain about your day, or in any other way be unprofessional. When you do any of these things, you come off as a negative person — and people don’t want to do business with negative people. Part 4 discusses more in depth how to use social media, including how to address negative comments.

Even if you choose to use your social media pages only for personal use and not for business, never forget that potential customers, hosts, and recruits are viewing you online. Someone who is interested in your product or your business will most often check out your social media pages to decide whether or not you’re someone they want to do business with.

Be a strong role model for your team

As a leader, it’s important to be an example for your team. You want to create a space for them that is positive, uplifting, and motivational. Often, your team members are already fighting with negative self-talk and self-doubt, so it’s important for you to have a positive attitude.

You also never want to get involved in gossip. If one of your team members is having a problem, help them find a solution without worsening the situation or getting involved in the negativity. Discussing their situation with others breaks down the trust, and in many cases, productivity. Instead, show them your positive attitude and help get them back on track.

Recognizing the four cornerstones of belief

To help yourself and your team members overcome self-doubt, look at these four main areas of your business that you must remain positive about and remind yourself of when you’re experiencing self-doubt:

• Belief in the industry: Do you believe that the direct sales industry is a good model that offers a flexible schedule and fair compensation for your work? Do you believe it’s a great way for people to supplement their income, make their dreams come true, meet different and like-minded people, and do something fun? Remind yourself of all the reasons you believe in direct sales.
• Belief in your company: Do you believe that your company has your back, provides you good, quality products, and has programs in place for you to be successful? Can you count on your company to provide you with the support you need to achieve your goals? Remind yourself of all the amazing things the company does every day to help you succeed.
• Belief in the product: Can people benefit from your product? Is it easily marketable? Do people want it and enjoy it? Will people buy it? Ask yourself: Do I love the product because I sell it? Or do I sell it because I love it? Remind yourself of what drew you to the products in the first place.
• Belief in yourself: Do you believe you deserve to be successful? Do you believe that you can reach your goals and achieve your dream? Do you believe that you can earn the money you desire if you work hard enough? Remind yourself that your dreams matter and that you can achieve anything.

Starting with self-talk

Believing in yourself starts with self-talk. Say things that encourage belief in yourself. Instead of saying how stressed you are, say, “I’m a little overwhelmed right now with what I have going on. What can I do to fix this? What can I get off my plate?”

It’s up to you to know how you feel about your business and your life. For example, I have a very busy schedule with travelling. I can say, “I can’t believe I have to leave again. I’m so tired. I’m so sick of living in hotels and spending all of my time flying,” or I can say, “I’m so excited I get to do what I love! I love sharing my passion and knowledge of this industry with so many people.”

You have control over your self-talk and have the power to remain positive. It all starts with you. If you say no one wants to buy my product, or no one wants to book an event with me, then no one will. It’s important to believe in yourself and talk positive about yourself and your business, because if you remain positive, you’ll work toward positive results.

Building confidence and self-esteem

The following sections were inspired by Pat Pearson’s Stop Self Sabotage (McGraw-Hill).

A lot of people think that confidence and self-esteem are one and the same. They’re actually very different:

• Confidence comes from knowledge and practice. The more experience you have, the more confident you’ll become. Having a student mentality for your business and always striving to learn more and be better will help you increase your confidence.
• Self-esteem is established based on the relationships you have and the people you surround yourself with. Surrounding yourself with people who are extremely positive helps build your self-esteem and your belief in yourself. Your self-esteem gives you the push you need to learn more, seek new opportunities, and network with others.

Don’t keep going back to people who are going to talk negative to you. Find inspirational people within your industry and follow them. Surround yourself with successful people who are positive and who motivate you to want to achieve greater success with your business.

Your confidence and your self-esteem combined are the perfect recipe for success.

Settling for less

This happens when you’re going along and you almost get to your goal, but you decide where you are is good enough. For example, say you want to book six events next month. You call up past hosts and leads from your booking lead notebook (see Chapter 13 for more information) and you do a booking commercial at your events. Doing all of this gets you five events on your calendar. You decide to stop at five because you’ve convinced yourself that what you have done is good enough.

Why? Why are you settling for less when you wanted six? That sixth event might help you get the income you want for that month, earn an incentive, or achieve a promotion.

Instead of being satisfied by less than what you really wanted, work to push through and achieve the goals you initially set out for yourself.

Avoiding resignation

Avoiding resignation is when you convince yourself that whatever you were trying to achieve wasn’t going to happen anyway. You decide that it won’t make a difference even if you put your best effort forward. You say things like the following to yourself:

• “I’m not going to bother calling these leads. They weren’t that good anyway.”
• “I might as well not go. No one I know is going to be there.”

Having confidence in your skills and in your business that things will work out and that you will find success is important.

Managing perfectionism and procrastination

Another thing that inhibits people from achieving true success is being a perfectionist. This is my Achilles heel. I decide I want to do something, but before I jump into it, I think of all the things I need to do first to make it perfect.

I’ve thought about writing a book for many years and have started the process more than a dozen times. But I never completed it because I got too wrapped up in what the cover would look like, what the title would be, which chapters I would include, and so on. I got to the point where so many details were in my way, I never got started. But when it came time to write this book, with the help of my editor at Wiley, we set small, achievable, and deadline-oriented goals. So instead of feeling overwhelmed by writing an entire book, I focused only on writing a chapter at a time and then editing a chapter at a time. (And voila! Here it is!)

You may decide to make booking calls, for example, but before you do that you need to make files first, then you need to make a spreadsheet, then you need to run to the store to get highlighters instead of sitting down, digging in, and just making calls.

Other people suffer from procrastination. They think, “Well, I still have a day and a half to get this done. I’ll just wait. If I wait until later to call, more people will be home; I’m really tired right now. I’m going to wait until tomorrow when I’m feeling more up to it.”

It took me a long time to realize that perfectionism and procrastination go hand in hand. Even though I had never considered myself to be a procrastinator, my perfectionism caused me to procrastinate. When I finally came to that realization, I had to let it go because I didn’t want to be a procrastinator or feel that I had the inability to stay on task.

I haven’t overcome this shortcoming completely, but now when I catch myself saying, “I first need to do this,” I analyze what I’m doing and force myself to start digging into the project.

Staying away from denial and blame

It’s in people’s nature to want everything to be fine, so denial functions as a gloss over the harsh realities of life. When people ignore or refuse to believe what’s going on around and within them, denial creeps into their lives. Denial is refusing to accept reality or a situation for what it is. As a self-sabotage strategy, denial operates very much to a person’s detriment. The more you fear you don’t deserve something you want, the more denial you have to use.

Here are some examples of denial:

• “I eat pretty healthy most of the time — I don’t know why I can’t lose the weight.”
• “It’s ok that I didn’t earn that trip. We’re going to be going on a really great family vacation anyway.”
• “It’s okay if I don’t make my promotion next month. If it’s meant to be, it will happen.”

People who suffer from denial convince themselves they’ve done everything they could to get a good or positive outcome, when in fact they may be too afraid to try everything. They also deny they ever wanted something in the first place, so they can try to avoid the feeling of disappointment.

Blaming, or projecting, is maintaining that the responsibility for the behavior lies somewhere else, not with you. You don’t deny the behavior, but you place its cause “out there,” not within yourself. I see this all the time in direct sales. People are so quick to blame anyone else they can for the mistakes and actions they’ve made themselves:

• “If my upline were more supportive, I would be better. I was never trained properly.”
• “If my job was more structured, I would have more time to focus on my business.”
• “My friends don’t make enough money to purchase the product.”
• “If the company could get the promotions out faster, I could get more bookings.”

You are in charge of your business. You need to decide to take the steps to achieving your goals and not let your fears get in the way of your success.

Taking risks: Getting past the fear

Fear is usually fear of the unknown. People get paralyzed if they don’t know the outcome. Part of getting over fear is realizing that you aren’t going to know the outcome, and the only way is to jump in and try.

Being solution oriented comes into play. The more solution oriented you are, the more likely you are to take risks because you know that at the end of the day you will be able to find a solution. You need to tell yourself, “No matter what happens, I am going to figure out a way.” Refer to the section, “Being solution oriented,” earlier in this chapter for more information.

One of the things I always do if I really find myself in fear of moving forward or taking a risk is to make a list of pros and cons. I look at what would be the absolute worst thing possible that could happen and what would be the best thing possible. Most of the time, the best thing far outweighs the worst. But if I look at the worst and ask myself, “Can I live with that? Can I change that?” and my answer is yes, I move forward.

Comparing yourself to others

Many people sabotage their success by comparing themselves to others. Does that person have what you really want? Do they live where you really want to live? Do you want that type of house? Do you want to work the same amount?

Remind yourself that you define what success looks like and do what it takes to get you there. You can’t compare your success to someone else’s, just like you can’t compare the beginning of your journey in direct sales to that of someone who has been in the industry for years.

Another way not to compare yourself to others and to keep a positive attitude is to have an attitude of gratitude. Always stay focused on what you have and what you are capable of. Write down all the good things in your life in a journal. Check out the section, “Be grateful and use a gratitude journal,” earlier in this chapter on how to use one.