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Help Disallow Threatening Behavior

One of the most dysfunctional and disruptive things that can happen in the workplace is to be threatened in one’s job: not physical threats but mental or psychological provocation, not bullying but badgering.

Threatened by whom? Could be by the boss, by a fellow worker, by a newcomer to the scene, or even by oneself.

Not only can this result in lost labor-hours because you’re plotting ways to overcome the threatening behavior instead of doing your work, it can cause disharmony on the organizational team by throwing it into disarray.

Why would and how could the boss threaten an employee? Easy! The boss may not like or respect someone in his or her employ. Instead of firing that person, most likely because the boss doesn’t have the necessary for-cause rationale, the boss simply makes life unbearable for that employee: everything from harangue to harassment, from ignoring that person to passing him or her by for a raise or a promotion.

There are ample ways to disincentivize or discourage an employee from wanting to come to work. If you’re the one in charge, stop it! If you work for the one in charge and have the ability, you can serve the boss best by asking him or her to stop it. If the boss won’t or doesn’t, there may be grounds for filing a formal complaint by the perceived victim. That is not helpful for the folks in human resources or the legal department.

If you’re threatened by a coworker old or new and the incident is unwanted or unprovoked, talk to your boss about it. If that yields nothing, the filing of a formal grievance may be justified and appropriate. If you are threatened because of the old territorial imperative, you have choices. You can talk to your supervisor about being uncomfortable with having your space invaded if certain actions taken by someone are disruptive. If it’s about jealousy more than anything else, you can talk to yourself about getting over it and on with it.

People do not want to admit they personally are the problem, but there are elements of insecurity in all of us. As the late New York Times editor and reporter James Kilpatrick once said, “Realities count, but images often count for more.”

Life isn’t always as it seems; much of what we hear and see is distortion brought on by the filters we allow to operate in our brains. Can’t see it, don’t believe it, won’t accept it! If you think the boss is favoring the new employee with obvious attention to that person and not to you, it may be for a reason. If there is no justifiable reason, have the courage to ask for a discussion with the boss, who may not have a clue that there’s a problem. But first have a conversation with yourself.

I’ve witnessed many real or perceived threats to people’s workplace livelihoods or their fragile personalities. Some were perception-fed; others were realities.

In one personal instance, I unwittingly yet unintentionally caused the problem. Upon assuming a new position of supervisory responsibility in one particular job change, I gave more assignments to one assistant than to her counterpart. They were of equal rank but not in terms of the attention I gave to one over the other because of her more valued skill set.

Unaware that there was resentment by the one who felt shunned, I continued to call for the other to do more because she thrived on what I gave her and was good at it. I eventually encountered the penalty: the employee who felt left out quit and took a position elsewhere. With her departure went years of institutional memory that was difficult to replace. My fault!

In another instance, I was asked by a friend to lend a hand during an institutional crisis he was experiencing. Overburdened by the responses to and requirements of the crisis, he called and asked me to come in person to help him. I agreed to pitch in with strategic advice and counsel.

To avoid threatening either the communications or the legislative talent he had in-house, I met with the heads of both of those departments. I told them I was there only temporarily to be on call to help in any way at any time. My advice was provided pro bono, and my offer of intended help was honorable.

They welcomed my mostly long-distance, occasionally in-person involvement. My goal was not to interfere but to help their respective teams. They never felt threatened and quite frankly appreciated the extra hand.

To threaten someone else in the workplace is unacceptable behavior. To feel threatened at work by someone else is uncomfortable but resolvable. It can be fixed with the help of others who want to serve the boss best. To be in a position of leadership and allow it is inexcusable. To be silent is sad; to be obstinate is unhelpful. Get to the bottom of the problem by speaking out, by putting your best foot forward, by finding a solution for both or all parties.

I can’t recall one situation in which allowing threatening behavior in the office led to a positive outcome. Lost labor-hours and sleep are irretrievable. If your job expectations are not being met, ask to have a discussion with your immediate supervisor. If that fails to result in a more acceptable work environment, it may be time for a move—over to a new department or position or onward and outward to a new employer.

There’s nothing worse than not wanting to head out the door in the morning to an unpleasant atmosphere in the office. There is a solution somewhere—find it and fix it. You’ll be serving the organization, the boss, and yourself by doing so.