Did you choose a sales career? Not many people do. Most study disciplines such as engineering, teaching, accounting, business, or law, and then find themselves in sales not by choice, rather out of necessity, or because sales responsibilities have been thrown into their current job. I sure didn’t want to be in sales.

I’ve spent my career working with salespeople, and yet for the first dozen years, I really didn’t want to be one of them. I didn’t think of myself as “in sales” and didn’t want others to view me that way. I didn’t want to be thought of in those derogatory terms that people are quick to conjure up, like: sales weasel, used car salesman, manipulator, and sleazy sales guy. I wanted to be a business professional, not a saleswoman.

While I didn’t consider myself in sales, I worked with salespeople every day. I hired and trained hundreds of sellers—meaning that I have interviewed and talked with thousands in the profession. In those conversations, I learned that my reaction and reluctance to being in sales is shared by many, even those with “sales” in their job titles.

Why is it that so few willingly choose the profession or even accept that they are in sales? Why do the negative stereotypes persist? Why do my young adult children and their friends look at me like I have green skin and horns when I suggest they consider a career in sales?

One reason is that old perceptions linger—not only in sitcoms and in the minds of irritated customers, but surprisingly within sales organizations. All too often, the sales team is viewed negatively. They are viewed as, “those people who don’t keep regular hours, who don’t have to follow the rules, who get to travel and don’t have to sit behind a desk all day; those people who are irritatingly demanding about getting their customers what they want and need.”

Because I work with so many ethical sales professionals throughout the world, I find it surprising that these negative connotations linger on. And I see the impact of this negativity on sellers every day. It shows up in the way they put off prospecting and contacting buyers, in increased stress, discomfort, and fear.

Hardworking, professional people are even willing to quit their companies and their jobs when asked to take on sales as part of their responsibilities. I call them reluctant sellers. The reluctance stems from many sources: they don’t know what to do, they’re embarrassed to be in sales, they don’t want to manipulate others for personal gain, or they believe it’s not a viable career choice.

For many years, I was one of them.

Growing up in Kenosha, Wisconsin, a blue-collar town where manufacturing plants such as American Motors, Jockey International, and Ocean Spray were plentiful, I didn’t know many people in sales. There was my Uncle Vince, who was a “businessman,” and then there was Louie, our insurance agent.

I admired Louie, who always had a smile on his face and was the first person we called as my five siblings and I each got our driver’s license. I saw him ease my mom’s concerns when a storm destroyed the shell of our hand-built, first-ever garage. Within a week, a professional crew of carpenters rebuilt the garage with new lumber. In my eyes, he was a hero in our time of need. Yet my dad, a “union man,” called him “Louie, the thief.” And that definition of a salesperson is what stuck.

When recruiters came to my college campus to find candidates for “marketing jobs,” I knew what they were really looking for—salespeople. Not wanting to be known as “Nancy, the thief,” I didn’t even consider those opportunities. Instead, I chose a career in human resources, where I could put my business and psychology training to work.

My beliefs about salespeople were further reinforced in my first job, when I was asked to coordinate the relocation of our sales team. I was advised to carefully scrutinize each seller’s expenses, with the implication that these “sales guys” would try to push through expenses they shouldn’t. They couldn’t be trusted.

Fast forward ten years through several promotions and company moves while earning my MBA. I was the head of HR and Training at a toy distribution company. To my surprise, the president, Peter Reynolds, thoroughly embraced sales. His love of sales, his encouragement to explore new skills and responsibilities, combined with the freedom he extended to fail if you simply tried, began to change my ingrained perceptions.

It was a slow process to dispel lifelong negative thoughts about the value of sales. Though I had been a top-tier fundraiser since I was seven, had a newspaper route where I sold subscriptions, and even sold jewelry, I still had a hard time accepting that I was a salesperson.

When I did, my career possibilities, comfort level, and success exploded.

After working closely with the toy company’s sales team, hiring a national sales force, coaching sales managers, and finding training for the sellers that confirmed selling is a value-filled profession, I took a leap of faith and put my burgeoning sales skills to work as an independent consultant.

Within a month, a former colleague connected me to a huge sales opportunity. And the rest, as they say, is history. Since 1998 I’ve been able to build a profitable and valuable training and consulting firm by selling my services and solutions, ironically specializing in sales!

As I changed my beliefs about sales, I realized that we are all “in sales.” Whether we are selling products or services to customers in exchange for money; or are nontraditional sellers who sell ideas or ourselves; or influence others within the companies we work for, within our families, within our places of worship, social circles, or communities—we are all in sales. I was in sales as an HR Manager selling jobs, opportunities, our company, myself, policies, and ideas. It was then that I realized I wanted to change the negativity surrounding sales and help others become successful sellers.

I wrote this book, not only to share best practices; I wrote it to shatter the damaging clichés about salespeople. I want people to see that they don’t need to be intimidated by sales or turn themselves into someone else to succeed. On the contrary, effective selling is about having meaningful, collaborative conversations where you, the buyer, and your companies win, and where you are an important part of your solution.

I want people to know that the skills to be successful in sales can be learned and the will to do so can be ignited.

If you aren’t a “born salesperson”—and very few are—this book is for you. If you’re tired of painful trial-and-error experiences, this book is for you. The tools, ideas, and formulas found in it will shorten your learning curve, improve your probability of success, increase your close rates, and help you capture repeat and larger sales.

This book is also written for those considering the sales profession as well as for those who have chosen sales and want to improve; for people who have had sales imposed on them and don’t believe they have what it takes; for contented sellers who are embarrassed to admit they like their jobs; and for people who need to persuade others to accept ideas and take action—and that’s all of us, isn’t it?

Whether you are in B2B, B2C, or nontraditional sales, this book is full of information to help you:

• Sell collaboratively.

• Make every conversation count.

• Approach your sales conversations with a “What’s in it for Them” (WiifT) mindset.

• Realize the power of the triple-win—Win³—where you, your client, and both your companies win.

• Address Problems, Opportunities, Wants, and Needs (POWNs).

• Build your Skill and Will for sales success.

What you won’t find in this book are chapters about value propositions or lead generation. These topics are well covered by other authors. You won’t find a “be like me” message, either. I won’t tell you exactly what to say, or suggest you follow a word-for-word script for your sales conversations. There are no exact words that work in every conversation. Each is as unique as the people involved in it.

Instead, I’ll outline concepts, formulas, and thought-starters compiled from the best practices I’ve observed in top producers around the world—practical tips and ideas you can easily adapt into your own words, for your own customer base, and your industry, making your conversations comfortable and natural for you and each buyer.

A sales approach that is consistent yet flexible, adapted to those involved, and focused on mutual gain is what forms trust, builds confidence in you and your solution, and closes sales. That’s what you’ll find in this book.

You have permission to use any of the ideas you find in these pages, although I strongly encourage you to make them your own. Access the tools in downloadable form at www.conversationsthatsell.com, where you will also find additional resources and helpful links.

WHAT YOU WILL FIND IN THIS BOOK

Conversations That Sell shows you the “what” and “how” of successful sales conversations and provides you with the information and tools you need to take action. It also addresses the “why” of sales success, so you can embrace your sales role and give higher value to anyone who has the privilege of having a conversation with you. You’ll learn how to make every interaction count for them and yourself. And you’ll learn how to work smarter . . . not harder.

Part I: Selling in Today’s Transparent World sets the stage for the best practices, skills, tools, and drivers of sales success. You will discover:

• The importance of you in the selling process.

• The Win³ of success.

• What buyers in today’s transparent selling environment need from you.

• Why collaborative selling is valuable.

Part II: The What and How of Collaborative Sales Conversations introduces the actions, formulas, and models that will make your conversations count. You will find the how-to’s that:

• Guide you through productive collaborative conversations with a five-step sales system.

• Help you identify and adapt your approach to your buyer’s type using the Tribal Types model.

• Guarantee you will move through your conversation efficiently to advance or close the sale.

• Prepare for relevant and timely sales conversations.

• Open a conversation that engages your buyer and earns you the right to move forward.

• Uncover sales opportunities by investigating the problems, opportunities, wants, and needs of your buyer.

• Facilitate value-filled presentations of your solution matched to the buyer.

• Work through objections as a problem resolver to reduce discounting and delays.

• Capture the buy decision and advance the sale more quickly.

• Make yourself valuable as you focus on What’s in it for Them.

Part III: The Factors that Make or Break Your Sales provides the information and tools that support strengthening your will to succeed. These are the components missing in many sales books. You will learn about:

• The Success Drivers^™ model that explains why you do or don’t take the actions needed for sales success.

• The tools you need in your sales toolbox.

• An easy, yet effective, goal achievement process that will guide you in setting, planning for, and achieving your goals.

I suggest you read the book without judgment, bias, or assumptions. Read it first as an overview. Read it to familiarize yourself with the concepts, tools, models, and framework for conversations. Then spend time digesting each chapter so you can put the ideas into action.

Each chapter ends with “Quick Tips”—actions you can easily incorporate into your sales conversations and practices.

As a sales and training professional, I work hard in my workshops and courses to support and encourage participants to try, tweak, and learn what does and doesn’t work for them. Unfortunately, a book cannot provide the personal support or accountability for application and practice that you get in a training session, so it’s up to you to identify the ideas and tools you will commit to put into practice.

If you want accountability to adopt and use the information and tools, build it in with your stakeholders as you set goals using the process outlined in Chapter 13.

Long-term sales success is an ongoing journey, and I congratulate you for investing your time in seeking ways to strengthen your skill and will to succeed. I believe that if you apply and adapt the ideas in this book, you will not only be a more successful seller, you will also feel much better about what you do. You will have the confidence and competence to make every conversation count!