TAP INTO EMOTIONS THAT AFFECT WORKING THROUGH OBJECTIONS

There are many emotions involved during the entire sales process—excitement, anticipation, fear, frustration, confidence, disappointment, and irritation are a few. These emotions can escalate when an objection is voiced. In fact, these emotions may be a hindrance to working through objections. How we work with the buyer’s emotions influences how likely we are to work through the objections with Them.

Working with the logical and emotional influences of the buyer is important throughout the sales process—and especially when the buyer has objections. Stop, Drop, and Roll guides you through addressing both of these factors. Yet sometimes working with emotions is an obstacle in itself. You may have been taught that the buyer should be “mirrored” or matched emotion for emotion throughout the sales process. Do you really want to match anger with anger, frustration with more frustration, or irritation with irritability?

Probably not. Matching those emotions would hurt your ability to work through the objection. What often works is adjusting your level of intensity.

Communicate with Intensity

Many communication “misses” and escalated objections are caused by a mismatch of intensity, one aspect of emotions. The following situation from a retail sale is a good example:

BUYER (with a medium tone and loudness): “You just gave me the wrong product after a long wait. I’d like a refund.”

SELLER (very calmly): “Yes, there was an error in fulfillment. What would you like us to do?”

BUYER (louder and more anxiously): “I would like you to take back this product and give me a refund like I asked.”

SELLER (very calmly with a lower voice): “Well, we can do that and the refund will take thirty days to process through your account.”

BUYER (incredulous and loud): “I don’t think you get this. I have already paid and waited thirty minutes and now you gave me the wrong item. I want an immediate refund.”

SELLER (extremely calm): “I’m sorry to hear that. Our policy is to issue a credit in thirty days.”

BUYER (irritated and increasingly frustrated): “Well that doesn’t make sense!”

Why was the buyer getting more frustrated? The seller was saying some of the right things—in a very calm and low-key way. This calmness caused the buyer to escalate her emotional reaction and intensity because she didn’t think the seller was “getting it.” She became more emotional to try to communicate the degree of her frustration.

The seller kept missing my signals of irritation and despair (yes, I was the irritated buyer). What I needed to know was that he understood that the gift I was expecting to give my husband for his birthday wasn’t available and I didn’t know what to do. I needed empathy and understanding, not a refund thirty days later.

The disconnection in intensity led to misunderstanding, less engagement, and loss of business (I still won’t go to that store, five years later). He wasn’t really hearing me. Yes, he listened to my words, but he wasn’t getting the intensity and emotions that told the real story and the importance of the purchase.

Had the seller been more animated and emphasized his concern with an increase in tone and energy, we might have headed in a more mutually agreeable direction. I would have felt that he cared and that I mattered.

What does this information on intensity mean for all of us? When something goes wrong or there is an objection, when we try to understand and connect with the person, we increase their level of satisfaction and loyalty, even if we can’t resolve the problem.

Showing some intensity isn’t only important when working with complaints. It’s also about excitement! If you are presenting a solution and notice the energy or level of intensity changing in your buyer, pay attention and adjust your intensity. The adjustment might need to be up or down; getting to the right level is what matters.

Sometimes I see sellers get more intense and animated when the buyer begins to back off or seems uninterested, thinking that intensity will generate a higher level of interest. This mismatch of intensity usually backfires, accelerates distrust, and causes the buyer to dismiss the discussion as superficial.

We don’t need to match the same level of intensity. We need to increase our intensity enough to show that we “get it.” This means becoming more animated, making more direct eye contact, and raising the pitch in our voice a bit.

Long story short: We need to adjust our intensity level, not get emotional with Them.