King Solomon was King of Israel three thousand years ago. He was famed for the wealth of his cities, the magnificence of his temples and, most of all, for the wisdom of his rule. Finding it was lonely ruling a vast kingdom, Solomon wanted some way to change his mood whenever he chose. He called to his court the finest craftsmen and wisest counsellors in the land.
Make me a ring and on it engrave an inscription. Put on it words that can change my mood, whatever it is; from sorrow to joy, or from joy to sorrow.
The counsellors wrestled with the task for many months and sought the wisest sages throughout the world, until finally they had the answer. They went to the craftsman who had struck the finest ring ever made and instructed him what to engrave. At last, they presented the ring to Solomon. On the ring was engraved:
This too shall pass.
What Solomon’s advisors knew was this: whatever you are going through now, this too shall pass.
Stress quiz
How stressed are you now? You might like to complete this quick quiz to find out. Rate each of these 20 statements on a scale of one to four, according to how often you feel this way, with: 0 for Never, 1 for Sometimes, 2 for Often, and 3 for Always.
- I contain all my feelings until I want to explode.
- I want everything now – particularly in shops.
- I get angry and frustrated at little things.
- Criticism and negative feedback really get to me.
- I blame myself when things go badly.
- Work and unwanted obligations take over my life.
- I am too busy to enjoy my lunch breaks.
- I don’t make time to prioritise my workload.
- The work I do is too far beyond or far below my capabilities.
- People seem to take advantage of me.
- I have no time for my hobbies and interests.
- I have far too many tasks to do at work.
- I get to work late and am late for meetings.
- I’m in a hurry – even if there is no deadline.
- I don’t like the changes that seem to happen.
- I don’t say what I am really feeling.
- I get angry with people who are important to me.
- The bad things seem to outweigh the good things.
- I struggle to cope under pressure.
- Taking time to relax makes me feel guilty.
What is your total stress score? If it is less than 20, well done. You can put this book down now, unless you are reading it for research, to help someone else, or ‘just in case’. If you scored over 40, then shut the door, turn off your phone, and read on now.
How How to Manage Stress is structured
The secret of managing stress is recognising that stress arises when we feel a lack of control in some area of our lives. How to Manage Stress will give you everything you need to start to manage your stress, from understanding what it is, to a whole heap of measures and tactics to help you regain control in specific stressful situations of work, change and conflict. It ends with tips on how to help others to control their stress. Here is a summary of each of the twelve chapters.
Chapter 1: What stress is and is not
This introductory chapter tells you about what stress is and is not. You will be able to recognise the signs of stress in yourself, and understand the basics of the physiology of stress. You will see why it isn’t the stress that does the damage. Managing stress is all about regaining control.
Chapter 2: Control your physical response to stress
The first point of control is in your physical response to stress. This chapter looks at a remedial physical response to stress and also a proactive physical regime that will reduce your stress levels through: good posture, good humour, good fuel (food and drink), good rest (sleep and relaxation) and good energy (exercise).
Chapter 3: Control your environment
You will learn how simple approaches to controlling your environment can have a big effect on your stress levels. We will look at the impact of people, organisation, space, light, colour and scent.
Chapter 4: Control your time
Any guide to stress management must include the fundamentals of time management. You will learn the basics of prioritisation, planning, how to say ‘no’ and, perhaps most important, how to handle a sense of ‘overwhelm’.
Chapter 5: Control your attitudes
We get our attitudes, values and beliefs about life from many sources, but we rarely sit down and choose them as adults. By reviewing your attitudes to a range of situations, you can reduce your stress levels by changing your response to common situations in your life.
Chapter 6: Control your mental response to stress
What goes on in your brain has a profound impact on how stressful you find a situation. This chapter looks at the ways you can control your mental response to stress, by controlling: how you visualise a situation in advance, the little voice in your head, and what you focus on when something happens.
Chapter 7: Manage stress at work
How you can recognise the signs of stress in colleagues and in your whole team. An introduction to workplace responsibilities around stress, and some of the solutions that will reduce the stress you place your colleagues and yourself under.
Chapter 8: Manage stress caused by change
Change is stressful. This chapter will help you to understand why, and will give you resources to manage your stress levels during times of change.
Chapter 9: Manage stress caused by conflict
An introduction to how you can deal with conflicts, to help reduce the stress of your relationships in the most challenging times.
Medical warning
Throughout this book, you will find contact details for national organisations with deep expertise and professionalism. If the stress you suffer from is severe, then this book can only be an introduction and you must refer yourself to an expert.
Some apparent symptoms of stress can have medical causes and need professional attention. Some effects of stress can cause medical problems. This is not a medical text and neither is the author medically qualified, so if you are in any doubt whatsoever, please contact your general practitioner straight away.
Only follow the advice in this book in so far as you are completely comfortable. It has been written with great care, but your health and your wellbeing are your responsibility.