CHAPTER 8
Writing Compelling Leads
CONTENTS
KEY WORDS
Delayed Lead
Five Ws and H Rule
Hard Lead
Lead
Negative Lead
Nonnews Lead
Question Lead
Shotgun Lead
Soft Lead
Trivia Lead
Updating Leads
INTRODUCTION
Former President Ronald Reagan once opened a press conference with the infamous quote: “Before I refuse to take your questions, I have an opening statement.” The actual focus of the press conference has since been largely forgotten. But Reagan’s first sentence, which served as the lead of the story, took on a new dynamic by eclipsing the story itself.
Much like that press conference, the lead is comprised of the opening words that set the stage for what’s to follow. As the first sentence of a news story, the lead is the most crucial element of any report. In a matter of seconds, the viewer (or, in radio, the listener) makes a decision whether to actively pay attention to the story or to merely “tune out” until something more interesting comes along. Another option is to simply move to another station with a more compelling story.
Yet this vital part of the story, which passes by in less than five or six seconds, is the most difficult to write. In just a few short words, a well-crafted lead must:
■ set the tone for what follows
■ provide information to intrigue the audience
■ offer enough news so it simply doesn’t burn away precious seconds.
FAST FACT: Decades ago, some news writers used the word “lede” to avoid confusion with the word “lead,” which is used in metals and pencils.
While there are few “perfect” leads, some are better than most. As you pursue a career in journalism, you’ll encounter those leads that are memorable, those leads that are acceptable, and those that are simply not very good. And because all news stories are different from one another, you’ll also learn that different methods can solve the challenges in writing good leads.
THE FIVE WS AND H RULE
Unless the story is a feature, the lead must include an element of news. It must begin to address the traditional journalistic concept of discovering information. To guarantee that all of the important news elements are reported in a story, newspaper journalists devised a rule that requires newswriters to answer six basic questions: Who, what, where, when, why, and how. This rule is referred to as the five Ws and H rule. It’s a holdover from print’s inverted pyramid style of writing, when details were shoved into the top of the story. At one time, some newspaper editors expected every lead to answer all of these questions, forcing writers to conjure up breathlessly long opening sentences.
Broadcasters never follow the rule of overloading the lead sentence, although they do answer at least one of the questions in the lead to move the story along. The other questions are answered in subsequent lines so by the end of the story, most—if not all—of the questions should be answered.
An opening sentence that contains no news is referred to as a nonnews or throwaway lead, and such leads are worthless in a news story. Here’s an example of a lead that has scant information, doesn’t engage the viewer, and wastes precious time in opening the story: “Mayor Paul Witkowski has met with reporters.”
This lead could become news by answering some of the journalistic questions. Why did the mayor meet with reporters? What did he tell them? For example, “Wheatland Mayor Paul Witkowski says the city council has two budget choices this month—either raise property taxes or close two of the fire stations.”
This revised lead does not deal with all five Ws and the H, but it’s a start. The who is the mayor. The what is the issue of budget woes. The where is Wheatland. The when is this month. Still unanswered are the why and the how. These questions would be answered in the balance of the story, such as:
Witkowski says the city is out of money because the water treatment plant needed a million dollars’ worth of repairs. And although he’s asked for a state grant to cover those costs, right now, the city cannot pay its bills.
FAST FACT: Around the year 500, Boethius argued the need for seven vital questions—who, what, why, how, where, when, and with what.
By using a hard lead, then following it with a solid second sentence, the viewer has the answers to the five Ws and H questions:
■ Who—Mayor Paul Witkowski
■ What—budget shortfall that will impact taxes or fire service
■ Where—Wheatland
■ When—this month
■ Why—budget was spent repairing the water treatment plant
■ How—raise taxes, cut fire stations, or receive a state grant.
This hard lead addresses the most important aspect of a story immediately, but it isn’t always the best option. There are a variety of ways to lead your story that we will explore in this chapter. The decision about which kind of lead to use depends on a number of factors, but the most important is the nature of the story. Is it a feature or breaking news? Is the story sad or upbeat? Is it about people or an event? Is the story about politics, a war, a medical development, or the kidnapping of a child? Is the story brand new or a continuing one? The lead is like the foundation of a house. How the foundation is built determines how the rest of the house will look. In news, the lead sentence determines how the rest of the story should be constructed.
THE “RIGHT” EMOTION
One challenge in writing a lead is deciding on the appropriate emotion, or tone, to express in the story. The tone depends mainly on the kind of story you are going to tell. For example, if the story is about something amusing, you would establish a lighthearted tone in the lead. Let’s look at an example:
A Carrabelle schoolteacher got enough kisses today to last —well, maybe not a lifetime, but a few weeks, anyway. Mary Saint Clair kissed 110 men at the annual fund-raiser for the local zoo. At ten bucks a kiss, she raised eleven hundred dollars for the zoo. When she turned the money over to zoo officials, she joked that all the animals were not behind bars.
FIGURE 8.1 Zoran Ras/Shutterstock.com
Even stories about accidents can sometimes be treated lightly:
A local man says he’ll never drink coffee again, after a cup of spilled coffee landed Carl Wade in the hospital. This morning, his car struck a fire hydrant, bounced off a tree, and smashed into the window of a flower shop. Wade said he bought a cup of coffee at a McDonald’s drive-through. When he tried to add sugar, he spilled the coffee in his lap and lost control of the car.
Stories about tragedies, as you would expect, require a more serious, straightforward approach:
■ It’s now believed that the death toll in the earthquake in Mexico has reached more than 50.
■ At least three people are reported dead in the collision this morning of a half-dozen cars on the freeway.
For these leads, the writers chose to give just the facts; this decision creates a quiet tone that underscores the loss of life described in the stories. While every story requires the writer to choose a certain tone, features and non-breaking news stories allow more flexibility than breaking news. Some writers are very effective at evoking joy, pathos, and other emotions from an audience through the tone they create.
THE EIGHT TYPES OF LEADS
If you hand the same news assignment to 50 different reporters, you may likely end up with 50 different lead sentences. Each story presents its own opportunity to craft a good lead, while each reporter brings a unique perspective to that story. While there may not be a lead sentence that every reporter agrees is the perfect starting sentence, a number of options are available to make a lead that is better (or worse) than another. The basic types of lead are:
■ The hard lead—most common, used for immediate information.
■ The soft lead—has a few words before the hard lead.
■ The quote lead—starts with a direct quote, used very rarely.
■ The shotgun lead—excellent for tying several stories together.
■ The delayed lead—has a few sentences before the hard lead.
■ The negative lead—can confuse viewers, used rarely.
■ The trivia lead—for feature stories, not for “hard” news.
■ The question lead—engages viewers, but don’t overuse.
Hard and Soft Leads
In choosing a lead, decide first whether it will be hard or soft. As shown in the earlier example, a hard lead tells the audience the vital details of the story immediately. Hard leads are usually used for breaking news:
■ At least 30 people were injured in the collapse of a Chicago building this morning.
■ More than a dozen people face drug charges after last night’s sting operation in downtown Nashville.
■ The Labor Department says the employment outlook for the upcoming holiday season will lead to five million seasonal jobs.
A soft lead takes a more subtle approach; it alerts the audience to the news that is to follow. This approach is called “warming up” the audience. The following soft leads could be used for the aforementioned stories:
■ A building collapses in Chicago. At least 30 people have been injured.
■ A major drug bust in Nashville. More than a dozen people are under arrest.
■ Improvement in the unemployment figures. The Labor Department says five million seasonal jobs are coming this holiday season.
Soft leads may not sound as exciting or dramatic as hard leads, but they do invite the audience to keep listening. Notice that two of the example soft leads are not full sentences but phrases that serve the same purpose as headlines in a print story. Soft leads can help listeners carrying out other tasks or fighting traffic on the way to the office by giving them time to shift their attention to the news.
Many editors discourage soft leads because they tend to slow down a newscast, particularly if used too often. But if used in moderation, soft leads add variety to broadcast copy. Experienced editors tend to be flexible in dealing with a writer’s style, including the kinds of leads writers choose. Good editors recognize that there is not just one way to write a story. They might say, “Well, it’s not the way I would have written it, but it’s not bad.”
FIGURE 8.2 abalcazar/Shutterstock.com
Quote Leads
Sometimes a quote is an intriguing option to lead a story:
“It happened so fast, we didn’t have time to take a picture. But we know what we saw.” Those are the words of a hiker on the Appalachian Trail, who says there’s something scary in the North Georgia mountains. Something that looks like Bigfoot.
“The first thing I’m going to do is quit my job and take a trip around the world.” That’s what lottery winner Lawrence Atling said when he redeemed his ten million dollar winning lottery ticket today.
These are fun quotes that lend themselves to the subject matter, but quote leads should be used cautiously. How is the viewer to know that the anchor is now quoting someone directly? Your anchor should never raise two fingers on each hand to make an “air quote” sign, neither should they attempt a voice inflection or accent to alert the viewer that they are speaking on behalf of someone else. Unless the quote is comparatively short, the viewer may miss its connection with the rest of the story.
When in doubt, just paraphrase the quote into standard third-person writing. For instance, the second example above could be rewritten to “He says he will quit his job and take a trip around the world. That today from lottery winner Lawrence Atling, who has just redeemed a ten million dollar winning lottery ticket.”
Shotgun Leads
The shotgun, or umbrella, lead can be effective for combining two or more related stories:
Forest fires continue to roar out of control in California, Oregon, and Washington State. The drought that has plagued the three states is now in its second month. Fires have scorched more than a million acres of timberland in California and another half million acres in Oregon and Washington.
The advantage of the shotgun lead is that it allows the writer to eliminate the boring alternative of reporting the fires in three separate, back-to-back stories. Here is another example:
Congress today is looking at three bills. One would make it easier for police to collect evidence, another would open up more trade with Canada, and the third would put a halt to government bailouts.
Delayed Leads
Instead of loading the most important information into the top of the story, the delayed lead withholds the most important details for a few sentences. This is similar to a soft lead, but the information is delayed much more than a few seconds. A soft lead delays the story by a few words, while a delayed lead will consume several sentences:
The scene in the locker room of the Wheatland Rockets was quieter than usual last night although the team won by three goals. There also was a lot less swearing than usual and no nudity. Also new in the locker room last night was Connie Charleston.
The sports reporter for the Wheatland Times is the first woman to be allowed in the team’s locker room. Club officials broke the female ban after Charleston threatened to go to court to win the right to enter the locker room after games.
If the delayed lead had not been used, the story probably would have started out this way:
“For the first time, last night a woman reporter was allowed in the locker room of the Wheatland Rockets.” The delayed lead gives writers another option for adding variety to a script, but, like some other leads mentioned earlier, it should not be overused.
Negative Leads
Negative leads, which include the word “not”, should be avoided. A positive lead can easily achieve the same result. There is always the chance someone in the audience might miss the word not and reach the wrong conclusion about what is happening. Here are some examples:
Avoid: Striking newspaper workers say they will not return to work.
Use: Striking newspaper workers say they will continue their walkout.
Avoid: The mayor says he will not raise the city sales tax.
Use: The mayor says he will keep the city sales tax at its present rate.
The most appropriate time to use a negative lead is when a surprising event happens, such as a favored football team barely misses the playoffs (“The Wildcats are NOT going to the playoffs”) or if there’s an abrupt shift in policy (“The President now says he will NOT raise taxes”).
Trivia Leads
An occasional bit of trivia in a lead can work well, but the payoff needs to be immediate. A story on the vendor who fills ice machines may be a good feature on a hot summer day, so let’s see how a trivia lead can bulk up this feature story. Instead of the standard lead, “As the temperature rises, the demand for ice increases—that’s good news for ice vendor Roland DeMarse,” let’s try this: “The American Beverage Institute says Americans use five-point-two ice cubes in every soda they drink. That number increases in the summer, and that’s good news for ice vendor Roland DeMarse.”
By this example, you see an immediate tie-in to the story. Although trivia leads should be used sparingly (you don’t want the news to evolve into a game of Trivial Pursuit), they can be effective in hard news stories as well:
■ The governor issued his fourth veto in five days—breaking a record for fast vetoes that had stood since 1868.
■ During his career, the quarterback threw for more than 20-thousand yards. That’s like throwing the football from City Hall to the state line with a thousand yards to spare.
■ Each Wheatland school bus covers nearly 400 miles a week. At that rate, the bus driver would wind up in Alaska by Thursday.
Question Leads
The question lead is the easiest lead of all to write. For this type of story, you simply ask the viewer a question such as:
■ Did you ever wonder how much money it takes to run a school bus?
■ Want to know about the big events in the city parks this Easter weekend?
■ With summer coming up, are you thinking that it’s time to get in shape?
The problem with question leads is that it can lead to very lazy writing; why bother putting a statement in the lead when you can start off with a question? Also, the audience will rapidly tire of the interrogation. Since you are the news authority, you should not put the audience in the position of having the answers.
However, there is one overlooked benefit of having question leads. When you are stuck for any lead for a news story, simply make it a question lead. The second sentence will have the answer to the lead and then you can write the story from there. Once you are finished with the story, go back and remove the question lead! The story will flow from the “answer” you provided. It’s a simple trick, yet it will motivate you to getting the story moving along.
UPDATING THE LEAD
News is everywhere. Constant updates from websites, streaming video on cell phones, and an endless 24-hour news cycle put pressure on journalists.
Obviously, not all news happens at convenient times just before the newscast. Shootings occur overnight, civic events happen on the weekends, and trading on the stock exchange opens nearly nine hours before the 6pm newscast on the East Coast. How does a reporter provide fresh news to past events?
The answer is to constantly advance and update the story. If a murder occurred, where is the killer? If the civic event is over, are they still cleaning up? If a local business saw big gains in the stock market today, is it part of a trend?
While this chapter focuses on how to write a good lead, seasoned reporters consistently strive to update their stories. After all, the only word that should never be in a lead is “yesterday.”
Updating and Reworking the Lead
One of the most effective ways to attract and hold viewers is to convince them that the news is fresh. There will be days when news is plentiful. But on slow days, newswriters need certain skills to make the news sound exciting and timely. One skill is the ability to update leads, which means finding something new to say in stories used in an earlier newscast. Another is the ability to rework the original lead to include new developments. For example, take a story about the arrest of a dozen men on narcotics charges. Police say the men were found in a cocaine “factory” where they were “cutting” more than one hundred million dollars’ worth of cocaine. Here’s the first version of the lead:
Police have arrested a dozen men during a raid on a cocaine factory in Wheatland. They say the men were cutting more than 100 million dollars’ worth of cocaine.
FAST FACT: In 1980, CNN started the 24-hour news cycle when it went on air to provide nonstop news programming.
An hour later, the lead might say:
A dozen men are under arrest after police raided a building in Wheatland. Police say the men were cutting more than 100 million dollars in cocaine.
Still later, the lead might read:
Police are guarding an estimated 100 million dollars in cocaine they scooped up in a raid on a Wheatland building. A dozen men are behind bars in connection with the raid. Police say the men were cutting the cocaine when the officers broke into the building.
Another possible updated lead might say:
A dozen men are being held for arraignment on narcotics charges following a raid on a Wheatland building. Police say they found about 100 million dollars’ worth of cocaine in the raid. Police say the men were in the process of cutting the cocaine when the officers broke into the building.
As new developments occur in the story, there will be added opportunities to rework the lead. Within a few hours, detectives may reveal details about how they found out about the cocaine factory. They also may give more details about the raid. For example: “Wheatland police now say that their raid on a cocaine factory that resulted in the arrest of a dozen men came after two months of surveillance by detectives.”
A skilled writer will be able to tell the story multiple times without making it sound stale. News stories, particularly those that involve crime or breaking news, require regular updates for subsequent newscasts. If stories are not updated, the viewer would be left with never ending manhunts, ongoing criminal trials, and stock market stories stuck in the Great Depression. Only by updating information do journalists contribute to delivering news.
Constructing the Rest of the Story
Once you have the lead of a story, its foundation, you are ready to construct the rest of the story by building on the lead. The audience has been prepared for what is to come. Now you must provide the details in a clear and logical manner.
In broadcast news, you can use more than just words to accomplish your goal. You can employ sound on radio and use both sound and pictures to help tell the story on television. Those techniques are examined later. For now, let’s just deal with words, starting with a hard lead: “The chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff says U.S. troops will stay in Iraq for a number of months.”
The viewers now know part of the story. A military leader is telling them something important: That their sons, daughters, husbands, wives, and other relatives and friends—at least some of them—are not coming home right away. The audience will want to hear more of the explanation: “General Nelson Felts says American forces will stay in Iraq to enforce provisions of a pending U.N. cease-fire agreement. He says the troops would also prevent Iraq from developing chemical weapons in the future.”
Now the audience knows why troops will remain in Iraq. What it does not know yet is how the troops are going to prevent Iraq from developing the chemical weapons. The next sentence addresses the question: “Felts did not explain how the U.S. forces would prevent Iraq from developing the weapons.” Once the general made reference to the chemical weapons, the statement had to be explained to the audience even if he did not elaborate. Otherwise, the audience might have been asking the question and accusing the newscaster of withholding the information. Once the main thrust of the story has been covered, the reporter can add more:
Felts also says he is surprised by the strength of the resistance against the U.S. forces. But the general says that the longer the fighting continues, the more likely it is that the U.N. sanctions will ultimately be felt by the Iraqis.
The general had much more to say to reporters, and newspapers carried the story in greater detail. But the broadcast newswriter, who had eight other stories to cover in a three-minute news update, told the Felts story in just 20 seconds. The essential details were given and nothing vital was left out. This is key to broadcast newswriting: Condense the important material and eliminate the unimportant without distorting the story or the facts.
Name—Maggie McGlamry
Job Title—Web Producer
Employer and Website—WGXA–TV, Macon, GA; wgxa.tv
Social Media Outlets I Use—Facebook, Instagram, Twitter
Typical Daily Duties—When I come into work, I check my emails for any stories that need to be written for the web. I also check our story assignments to know what story each reporter is working on that day. I then check our social media pages for messages and to see what stories are doing well. I look over our Twitter feed for breaking news for our reporters or photographers, and I continue to do this during my work day.
Normally we have conference calls with the digital producers from each of our company’s stations about twice a week. The head of digital for our company (Sinclair Broadcast Group) discusses the topic for the meeting and ends with an open forum for questions and comments. That way we can be on the same page with digital producers across the country. Throughout the day I follow our reporters’ tweets about their stories so I can begin a rough draft for the web. When they leave their location, they call me and give me more details so I can publish the complete story.
Once the newscast airs, I cut and attach the aired stories (packages and VOSOTs) to the web stories. At the end of the week I send out social media report cards to our talent to let them know how effectively they are utilizing social media.
Occasionally I travel to live shoots like athletic events (Macon is a college town) to live tweet, Facebook live, and Instagram just to give viewers an inside look at what we do.
SUMMARY
Writing good leads takes practice. Fortunately, this practice can be gained rather quickly as you write copy for ongoing newscasts. If you find yourself stuck on the first few words, try to rough out a question lead. No good? Maybe there’s a quote in the story that can rise to the occasion or, if you look hard enough, there may be a bit of trivia to provide a starting point. Some leads may be more appropriate than others, depending on the nature of the story, but remember that there is always more than one way to lead your story.
While the previous two chapters placed emphasis on the mechanics and style of broadcast newswriting, this chapter targeted how to capture the audience in the first seconds of the story. Now that you know how to construct a news story and include all the important details in your story in a logical manner, you are ready to write readers and voiceovers for a newscast.
Broadcast journalism requires a great amount of fieldwork, interviewing, and news packages, which are self-contained stories delivered by a reporter. The following chapters in this text address those topics.
Test Your Knowledge
1. Many writers have problems writing the first sentence of a story. How can they overcome this block?
2. What is the most important part of a news story? Why?
3. Although the five Ws and H rule is basically a print journalism concept, it does have application for broadcast journalism. What are the five Ws and H, and what is the major difference in the way they apply to print and broadcast journalism?
4. What is the difference between hard and soft leads?
5. Do quote leads work for broadcast? Explain.
6. What is a shotgun lead?
7. What is a delayed lead?
8. What is a trivia lead?
9. How do you update a lead?
EXERCISES
1. Using the following information, write both hard and soft leads: A tanker registered to the Zabo Oil Company of Panama has run aground. This happened off the coast of Charleston, South Carolina. One-half million gallons of oil already have spilled into the Atlantic. It is believed that another half million gallons are still on the ship.
2. Write a quote lead based on the following information: A man on welfare, Bill Nelson, found a purse on the street. When he opened it, there was $5,000 inside. Nelson counted it a dozen times. After two hours, he went to the police station and turned over the money to the officer at the desk. When questioned about his honesty, Nelson said, “I may be poor but I am honest.”
3. Using the information from Exercise 2, write a delayed lead.
4. Write a shotgun lead using the following information: Forest fires in Oregon have burned more than 10,000 acres of timberland and the flames are threatening thousands of additional acres. In California, firefighters are battling flames that already have destroyed 15,000 acres of woodland.
■ Use your imagination to figure out ways to update these leads:
■ The president is scheduled to leave this afternoon for a vacation in Florida, where he will work on a new budget.
■ The hurricane is off the coast of Jacksonville, Florida, and could hit the mainland within the next three hours.
■ Striking autoworkers are meeting at this hour to decide whether to accept the auto industry’s latest contract offer.
9. Using any of the types of lead discussed in this chapter, write a story from the following information: Lori Scott and Kevin Tyson were married today. It was exactly 30 years ago to the day that they met. When they were teenagers the two had dated for about a year after meeting on a blind date in 1963. “I remember the date, of course, because it was my birthday,” said Lori Scott. Lori and Kevin broke up following a fight. They both married and had children and had not seen each other for 29 years. Kevin contacted Lori when he heard from a friend that her husband had died. Kevin had been divorced a number of years ago. They decided to marry after dating for the past year. They were married on New York’s Staten Island ferry. “That’s what we did on our first date,” Kevin said.