10

Meetings: A Case in Point

DURING AN EXECUTIVE PLANNING MEETING, one executive among twenty around a large conference table received a text message. It was from a colleague sitting just a few chairs away. It read, “Say something right now. Make sure your voice is heard. Ask a question.” Later, the executive learned that the CEO was planning to shrink the size of the committee. There was a concern that a few of the individuals in the room were not contributing enough to make the cut.¹

Another senior leader, fifteen years into a successful career as a marketing executive, had a similar experience. The executive, generally considered by peers to be assertive and insightful, was surprised when a colleague stopped by after a meeting to deliver some stern advice: “Stop acting like a facilitator. Start saying what you stand for: What is your point of view?”

Finally, a division leader managing a $50 million business unit, who, according to performance feedback, was widely admired and respected, had the same type of wake-up call. After failing to contribute in senior manager meetings because “you need to shout to be heard,” colleagues said the executive’s silence in strategic discussions was one reason this person had not been promoted into a senior leadership role.

These three executives have a few things in common. First, they are all successful. They are ambitious and motivated to take their careers to the next level. Second, they are all well liked by colleagues and superiors, yet they have been dinged repeatedly for a lack of engagement, lack of powerful behavior, and lack of visibility in meetings. Finally—as you might have guessed—all three of these executives are women.

Our research tells us that these stories are quite common. In our study from 2013 that canvassed male and female senior executives, 46 percent of the women we surveyed said they have significant difficulty inserting themselves into key meeting discussions. Likewise, a full 50 percent of men said the most important thing women should address in meeting settings is being more confident and direct and less equivocal and apologetic.

This topic of effectively wielding influence in business meetings is relevant for several reasons. First, meetings—whether in person, by videoconference, or by conference call—are the “center stage” at corporations. Meetings allow executives to showcase their ideas and contributions and take part in key decisions about the business. Given that many women report feeling stuck in midlevel positions, this idea of meetings as public forums becomes highly relevant. Meetings afford a direct line to senior decision makers and a seat at the table, thereby leveling the playing field in terms of access. Also, the higher up you go, the more time you spend in meetings. You must get good at it. Given the import of meetings and the high likelihood of political dynamics therein, what better place to drill down?

The meeting setting is an ideal venue for examining the behaviors and strategies that we can apply in our ongoing quest to achieve influence.

WHY MEETINGS MATTER More for Women

Meetings represent a crucial opportunity for all leaders. Why? Because they are the main venue in which business reputations are made and lost. This is especially true for women executives. When we are minorities in the top tiers of business, our every move draws critical attention that either opens doors or holds us back. Simply put, at this point in time, women have more on the line in these high-stakes interactions than male counterparts.

Meetings can open doors for women. In the initial ten to fifteen years after entering the workforce, most employees rise in their careers based on the merits of their individual contributions. After that, the fortunes of senior-level women executives accelerate or stagnate based on two altogether different metrics. The first is the financial performance of their unit. This is to be expected, and it is the same for both male and female leaders. The second factor is more interesting—it is the ability of a woman leader to gain the active sponsorship of at least one C-suite executive. We have seen that a major way to gain that sponsorship is to perform well in meetings.

This theme of women struggling to have our voices acknowledged in meetings is not entirely new. Yet, beyond this larger theme, we have isolated two important findings that took us by surprise. Our first finding, over the course of our yearlong research study, was that even women at the very highest levels stepped up to corroborate the extent of the problem.

Beginning in 2012 we examined over seven thousand 360-degree feedback surveys on 1,100 high-ranking female executives working at the level of vice president or above. We found that meetings were a clear stumbling block, regardless of rank and job title. In 2013 we surveyed 270 female managers in Fortune 500 organizations, including McDonald’s, Procter & Gamble, and Walmart. Over half of the respondents reported that meetings were a significant issue for them or a “work in progress.” Lastly, we went on to interview 65 top executives, both male and female, including CEOs, not only to get a gut check on our findings but also to hear their own experiences. We coded the responses from each executive to identify themes that represent a dominant perspective. These leaders, from JPMorgan Chase, Deloitte, PepsiCo, Lowe’s, Time Warner, eBay, and several other organizations, helped us piece together the specifics of the gender divide in meetings.

What we found is that women executives, vastly outnumbered in boardrooms and executive suites, with fewer role models and sponsors to bring them into what still often amounts to a private club, can feel alone and outside their comfort zones in some high-level meetings. As one of only a few women in the room, they also frequently reported feeling unsupported and less able to advocate forcefully for their ideas and perspectives. As one female executive said, “It is harder to read the room if there are no other women around the table.”

Regardless of why this problem persists, coming across as powerful and persuasive in meetings is a critical issue for women. Given the differences in how men and women describe the problem, it is clear that a part of this dilemma is perception. Perception is always an issue when gender politics comes into play. Still, the fact remains that success in visible forums such as meetings is a part of what gets people promoted. Even beyond career success, meetings, from the board level on down, are where decisions are made. Women must have the tools they need to be at their best and achieve the influence they want and deserve.

RAVE REVIEWS on the Corporate Stage

Attributes that land us in executive roles—such as ambition, experience, intelligence, and talent—are only part of what we need to become influential leaders. Alongside these core competencies are others that help us become more effective and successful. Let’s review strategies and behaviors that deliver influence for women in meetings.

Be intentional

Because so many different dynamics are at play, we coach women to walk into the meeting with a clear plan for themselves.

This requires thinking about how you want to be perceived. Generally, you want others to “experience” you and get the impression that you are fully engaged and knowledgeable. You want to be seen as confident and creative. Whatever your objective, know the impression you want to impart and plan to project it.

As one female executive in Silicon Valley told us, knowing what impression you want to make can help you plan every facet of how you act at a meeting: “how to walk in, what to wear, where to sit, when to talk, and how to respond.”

Similarly, we coach women to think of themselves as a brand. Before attending an important meeting, be intentional about your image and messaging. This may be an opportunity to prove yourself to a prospective sponsor or raise your profile with peers. Regardless, simply take a few moments to consider your goals and prepare yourself.

Have a point of view

Being intentional also applies to the content you bring into a meeting. Come in with a clear understanding of what the team is trying to accomplish and how it dovetails with your own agenda. Most important, be prepared to share and defend your unique point of view.

We coach women to consider the content of the discussion and engage the group with three things in mind. First, decide in advance what one or two things you want to accomplish and what key points will help you get there. Next, be concise and inject value by adding your own relevant perspective. Share something relevant that brings the conversation to the next level instead of seconding what the previous person had to say. Finally, stand ready to own your point of view and sell your ideas.

Having a strong, distinct perspective will enhance your reputation and enable you to sell your ideas and make the meeting better.

Use amplification

In the beginning of Barack Obama’s first term in office, about two-thirds of the top White House staffers were men who had worked on the campaign. The female aides were outnumbered and being shut out of important meetings. When they did make it into meetings, their ideas were either being drowned out or hijacked. “It’s not pleasant to have to appeal to a man to say, ‘Include me in that meeting,’ ” National Security Adviser Susan Rice told the Washington Post, explaining how women in the Obama administration sometimes had to lobby to be included in key discussions.²

Rice and her female colleagues solved their dilemma by adopting a strategy they called “amplification.” When a woman in their group made a key point, another woman in the room would repeat it, giving credit to its author. This simple tactic forced the men in the room to acknowledge the first woman’s contribution—and denied them the chance to co-opt the idea and claim it as their own.

This is a strategy that any of us can use in meetings—and many of our coaching clients have used it with great success. Looking to other women for support, and supporting them back, is empowering and helps us create and solidify a coalition of like-minded female allies.

Get your voice in the room

Are you an introvert who struggles to muster the confidence to get your voice in the room? Having worked with many women who share your anxiety, we designed some simple advice to make speaking up easier:

Arrive early. Getting into the room early and choosing your seat helps you to get acclimated to the environment. It also positions you to acknowledge people as they enter and creates an initial rapport that will make you more comfortable.

Speak early. Getting your voice in the room early sends the message that you are there to participate. It also gets you warmed up and positions you as part of the dialogue before the conversation gets commandeered by the usual suspects.

Ask a question. Something as simple as a question may be enough to cement your place in the discussion. One woman we coach told us that she has the most impact in meetings when she finds an opportunity “to turn the meeting in a different and more productive direction by posing insightful questions. Have you thought of this . . . ? Or, What if we looked at it this way . . . ?” Questions start a type of dialogue that can be transformative.

Getting your voice in the room with a pertinent point makes an impression. Better still, it gets easier. Once you have a system in place, speaking up in meetings becomes second nature.

Be concise and use muscular language

In executive settings, the discussion can move so quickly it becomes tricky even to get a word in. Conversations, like tennis, move from point to point and players need to be prepared when it is their turn to serve and volley. One smart way to win is simply by using speech to convey power. Being concise and on point can give you the edge you need to get your opinion heard. Another way to get into the conversation is by using “muscular” words that are authoritative and direct. Instead of saying, “How about this . . . ,” say, “I strongly suggest. . . .” Or, instead of saying, “Maybe we can . . . ,” say, “Here is my plan. . . .”

If this type of executive discourse does not come naturally to you, put in some practice time. Rehearse while you are driving to work or use your smartphone to record yourself speaking. Plan your opening remarks or key argument. Lynne Ford, executive vice president, division executive, private wealth at SunTrust told us, “You need to have written down some things you want to talk about. Even some of the casual remarks you hear have been rehearsed. If it sounds good, it was probably prepared.”

Do the meeting before the meeting

Most of the men in our study, and many women, said that the “meeting before the meeting” is where the real work happens. In the days, hours, or minutes before a meeting, connect with colleagues to test your ideas and get an indication of support. These conversations are informal and can occur in passing: in the hallway, in the elevator, or on the walk to the train. Being fully prepared for a meeting means never asking a question when you do not already know the answer.

According to a male senior vice president, “Men are really good at the pre-meeting. They go by the office to talk, throw the ball to each other almost in a conversation, and they work their agenda for the meeting. This pre-meeting behavior enables them to be successful because they’ve mustered support for their ideas. This is their preparation. It happens before anyone gets to the table and it’s very important.”

The pre-meeting has multiple benefits: it allows individuals to increase their familiarity with the issues, vet ideas, canvass for votes, and refine their points of view. Taking part in the informal conversations that happen in advance also helps women identify the real purpose of the meeting. Frequently, the actual rationale is not reflected in the written agenda. Is the meeting being called to establish a consensus? Solve a problem? The purpose of a meeting may also be somewhat subjective, depending on the politics of the group. Regardless, the meeting before the meeting will help to clarify any distinction between the stated and actual purpose of the meeting.

In addition, it is important to realize that key issues are often fully resolved in pre-meeting discussions, before the real meeting even starts. As one male executive told us, “The decisions are made in advance and some women don’t seem to know it.” This leaves us out of the decision making.

Don’t take it personally

We coach women to know when to let it go when a meeting does not go their way. As one woman told us, “I need to refrain from taking business so personally.” In addition, we found in our review of 360-degree feedback reports, and in our research, that women have a certain retained angst. That is, we second-guess ourselves after a meeting and replay events over and over instead of moving on. Regardless of the specific challenges, picking our shots (and remaining objective) helps all of us remain fully engaged in the meeting and making meaningful contributions.

* * *

Our rationale for offering these hands-on strategies is simple: it reinforces the idea that influence is something that all of us can learn and practice. Of course, our approach is seldom fixed. As when trying on clothes in a department store, we each need to choose the size and style that suits us.

There is one story from our recent experience that we think sums up what the Influence Effect looks like. It is about a woman one of us coached off and on for several years. In that time, we witnessed her personal transformation as she changed from a less-than-secure associate director with a bad case of impostor syndrome to someone who owns her success and has become one of the top three people at a global management consulting practice. Recently, when she got up to deliver the annual state-of-the-organization address in front of the entire company, the audience seemed to hang on her every word. People were smiling and nodding their heads, and they watched her without losing interest or looking down at their smartphones. She caught the “big wave” we talked about earlier and she had a great ride.

We talked to her later that afternoon and complimented her on the connection she had with the audience. She said that her secret came down to one word: trust.

“They trust you?” we asked.

She shook her head. “Yes, they do,” she replied, “but what I mean is that I trust myself.”

All of her commitment to improvement and practice over the years helped her develop confidence, win support, and earn the influence that was so apparent to us in the annual address. We hope that you, too, will use these strategies as you grow as a leader and look for opportunities to have impact and achieve influence. It is our belief that the Influence Effect happens over time and has a cumulative effect. As you use these strategies to develop followership and lead the changes that you believe in, influence will emerge as both a by-product of your success and a driver of it. The Influence Effect will enable each of us to rise above office politics and achieve success on our own terms, not because the gender dynamics that we face no longer exist but because they no longer hold us back.

Executive Summary

• Still vastly outnumbered in boardrooms and executive suites, with fewer role models and sponsors to bring us into what amounts to a private club, many of us feel outside our comfort zones in some high-level meetings.
• As women, we are sometimes “out-muscled” by male colleagues who take up more space and power their way into the dialogue.
• We can bolster our perspective with concise facts, direct remarks, and “muscular language.”
• Being intentional in how we present ourselves, articulating our point of view, and owning our ideas raises our profile in meetings.
• We can have our voices heard in the room by getting our points in early, remaining on topic, and amplifying each other’s ideas.
• The “meeting before the meeting” allows us to increase our familiarity with the issues, vet ideas, canvass for votes, and refine our point of view. It is often where the real work occurs and decisions are made.
• Meetings are an ideal venue for us to line up sponsors, build followership, and achieve influence.