Discussion Guide
LIVING BEYOND “WHAT IF?”
I hope that as you read this book you not only resonated with the many stories I shared but also found inspiration and guidance for your own journey. As we travel this road of life, we must recognize that we are all at different junctures and mile markers on the road toward realizing our dreams. It is important for us to take inventory of where we are and how we arrived at this place, and then begin to recalculate our lives for better or different results.
Here I use an analogy to describe four types of travelers I’ve met while on my own life’s journey. I affectionately gave them each a name based on where they are currently. As you review these types, I invite you to select the traveler’s journey you identify with most on the road of life. On the basis of your answer, use the corresponding questions for reflection, discussion, and action planning.
Note: Some of the same questions may appear under different travelers because they are relevant for those travelers’ consideration.
Wandering Wanda and Peter Procrastinator
You may have been on your way to a destination but pulled over onto the side of the road because you were either lost, wandering, or trying to figure out which direction to take. You may have broken down on the road of life and need a repair. Perhaps you are even waiting for a tow to the nearest filling station. You should ask yourself these questions:
1. Think back to when you were a kid. What did you dream of or imagine doing or becoming, or where did you imagine going?
2. How did life’s turns, twists and transitions impact your dreams?
3. What dreams do you keep procrastinating on? Why?
4. What does your future self wish your present self would stop doing now?
5. What are three of your most pervasive disempowering “What If?” questions? What responses can you use to address those disempowering questions?
6. What do you fear the most in life and why?
7. How have your fears kept your dreams on pause?
8. What fears have you confronted head on in the past two years? How did you confront them?
9. If we are born with only two fears, which fears did you learn? How?
10. What is your purpose statement?
11. What keeps derailing your ability to live your purpose?
12. What percentage of New Year’s resolutions do you achieve each year?
13. What ritual or practice do you engage in to reflect on and assess your life?
14. What are the values you live by?
15. Which stage of William Bridges’ three stages of transition model—Endings, the Neutral Zone, or New Beginnings—is easiest for you to accept? Which stage is most difficult to accept? Why?
16. How well do you manage change personally? How well do you manage change at work?
17. If you were to create your life plan, what would be your overarching goal for the next year?
18. To what extent are you in a good relationship with yourself?
19. How diverse is your professional network? How has it contributed to your success?
20. Who else should you include in your network?
21. Jumping requires us to take calculated risks. Which risks have you avoided taking? Why?
Mike Makesure and Rita Riskaverse
You may be driving in the slow lane of life, taking it easy, and taking no risks. You want to guarantee that no mistakes or wrong turns are taken, so you anticipate, contemplate, and hesitate to a fault. You should ask yourself these questions:
1. Think back to when you were a kid. What did you dream or imagine doing or becoming, or where did you imagine going?
2. How did life’s turns, twists and transitions impact your dreams?
3. What dreams do you keep procrastinating on? Why?
4. What does your future self wish your present self would stop doing now?
5. What are three of your most pervasive disempowering “What if?” questions?
6. What responses can you use to address those disempowering questions?
7. What do you fear the most in life and why?
8. How have your fears kept your dreams on pause?
9. What fears have you confronted head on in the past two years? How did you confront them?
10. If we are born with only two fears, which fears did you learn? How?
11. What is your purpose statement?
12. What keeps derailing your ability to live your purpose?
13. What percentage of New Year’s resolutions do you achieve each year?
14. What ritual or practice do you engage in to reflect and assess your life?
15. What are the values you live by?
16. Which stage of William Bridges’ three stages of transition model—Endings, the Neutral Zone, or New Beginnings—is easiest for you to accept? Which stage is most difficult to accept? Why?
17. How well do you manage change personally? How well do you manage change at work?
18. If you created your life plan, what would be your overarching goal for the next year?
19. To what extent are you in a good relationship with yourself?
20. How diverse is your professional network? How has it contributed to your success?
21. Who else should you include in your network?
22. Jumping requires us to take calculated risks. Which risks have you avoided taking? Why?
Sammie Speedracer and Urgent Spurgeon
You may be in the fast lane of life, driving with clear direction and a sense of urgency, and having no time to waste. At this juncture you should consider these questions:
1. How have some of your life’s turns, twists, and transitions helped you to achieve your dreams?
2. What were three ways you responded in an empowering way to your “What if?” questions?
3. What fears have you confronted head on in the past two years? How did you confront them?
4. What is your purpose statement?
5. What percentage of New Year’s resolutions do you achieve each year?
6. What ritual or practice do you engage in to reflect on and assess your life?
7. What are the values you live by?
8. Which stage of William Bridges’ three stages of transition model—Endings, the Neutral Zone, or New Beginnings—was the easiest for you to accept? Which stage was the most difficult to accept? Why?
9. How well do you manage change personally? How well do you manage change at work?
10. To what extent are you in a good relationship with yourself?
11. How diverse is your professional network? How has it contributed to your success?
12. Who else should you include in your network?
13. Jumping requires us to take calculated risks. Which risks have you avoided taking? Why?
Susie Stayput and Noah NoGo
You may be that traveler who has opted to stay put, observe, or play life totally safe and not even take the trip. Perhaps you see the journey as too difficult, not worth it, or just too scary. At this juncture it is imperative that you consider these questions:
1. Think back to when you were a kid. What did you dream or imagine doing or becoming, or where did you imagine going?
2. How did life’s turns, twists, and transitions impact your dreams?
3. What dreams do you keep procrastinating on? Why?
4. What does your future self wish that your present self would stop doing now?
5. What are three of your most pervasive disempowering “What if?” questions?
6. What responses can you use to address those disempowering questions?
7. What do you fear most in life and why?
8. How have your fears kept your dreams on pause?
9. What fears have you confronted head on in the past two years? How did you confront them?
10. If we are born with only two fears, which fears did you learn? How?
11. What is your purpose statement?
12. What keeps derailing your ability to live your purpose?
13. What percentage of New Year’s resolutions do you achieve each year?
14. What ritual or practice do you engage in to reflect on and assess your life?
15. What are the values you live by?
16. Which stage of William Bridges’ three stages of transition model—Endings, the Neutral Zone, or New Beginnings—is easiest for you to accept? Which stage is most difficult to accept? Why?
17. How well do you manage change personally? How well do you manage change at work?
18. If you were to create your life plan, what would be your overarching goal for the next year?
19. To what extent are you in a good relationship with yourself?
20. How diverse is your professional network? How has it contributed to your success?
21. Who else should you include in your network?
22. Jumping requires us to take calculated risks. Which risks have you avoided taking? Why?