CHAPTER
11

The Intimacy of ASMR Role-Play

In This Chapter

  • ASMR role-play: an interactive experience
  • Personalized attention in an impersonal world
  • How ASMR videos simulate the sights and sounds of everyday life
  • The most common ASMR role-play scenarios

It begins with a warm, welcoming greeting by a soft-spoken individual who smiles gently and explains the event that is about to occur. No matter what it is, there is nothing to fear and no one can harm you. In fact, a few minutes into the session, you may be fast asleep. That’s alright; your host won’t mind. Actually, that might even be the goal.

Welcome to ASMR role-play, a facet of ASMR content that engages viewers on a personal level and brings them into the experience. Unlike segments in which the action is merely described or demonstrated for you, in the ASMR role-play, you are actually part of the show.

In this chapter, we explore what makes the ASMR role-play so special; the psychology behind its success; and why so many people can’t get enough of virtual spas, cranial nerve exams, and ASMR makeup artists.

A Rundown of Role-Play

One of the most popular types of ASMR content on YouTube, role-play is an artificial scene designed to simulate a relaxing experience through remote sensory stimulation. During this interactive segment, the ASMRtist leads the viewer (or listener) through a predetermined process that has a semidefinite storyline. In many cases, the content creator may assume a character-like persona and act out the part with dialogue, sounds, and props appropriate to the presentation.

DEFINITION

A role-play is an artificial scenario designed to re-create a real or imagined situation.

Role-play is significantly different than traditional show-and-tells, gentle narratives, and sounds-only segments. In an ASMR role-play, the action is not merely performed for you, it’s performed on you, as if you are actually in the room with the ASMRtist as a secondary character in the play. In ASMR, the suggestion of touch and its accompanying sound is something that sets the practice apart from other relaxation methodologies that focus on visualization and the individual’s imagination. Touch is the language of compassion and has been known to have a certain amount of healing power. By supplying someone with an extra bit of sensory stimulation, it can help you connect more to the presentation, give you additional triggers, and enable you to relax more quickly.

The settings for ASMR role-plays are wide and varied. Many of the early (and current) ASMR role-play videos centered on everyday experiences that most people have some familiarity with, as well as elaborate fantasies with a number of computer-generated special effects. While they run the gamut in terms of backdrop, at the heart of every role-play is the personal attention given to the viewer through a caring and thoughtful but nonsexual experience.

The Personal Connection Provided by Role-Plays

While it’s no secret that everyone needs a hug or a pat on the back from time to time, there is a lot of speculation as to why role-play content is so favored throughout the ASMR community. One persistent theory suggests the personal care and attention displayed in these videos is similar to that of the “grooming” practices found in other primate groups (such as chimpanzees, baboons, and apes). Another popular theory is that the need for artificial interaction reflects a deep need for connection in an increasingly isolated world.

The truth probably lies somewhere in the middle. There is no question that human beings have an intrinsic need for interpersonal interaction; it’s no secret that some ASMR role-plays are used to help reconnect people to those events of the past they found soothing, such as their mother caring for them when they were sick, brushing their hair, or reading them a story. However, it is also true that despite modern technology enabling people to be more connected than ever, the population as a whole has been lulled into a false sense of friendship and camaraderie that belies the fact they are living increasingly lonely lives. As a result, the ASMR role-play may be, ironically, salvaging a sense of human intimacy in the digital age.

So in addition to the tingly goodness associated with whispers or soft-spoken speech, role-plays provide connection and intimacy for viewers who need a little TLC or to take a little break from the stressors in their lives. It allows them to feel better knowing that someone, even if only on a virtual level, understands their stress and is willing to comfort them throughout their ordeal. ASMRtists, in turn, take this responsibility very seriously and give their viewers a shoulder to cry on, so to speak.

For example, one of the most basic role-play segments is the caring friend role-play. In it, the ASMRtist portrays a friend who has come to spend the day with you, take care of you if you are sick, or snap you out of doldrums to get ready for a night on the town. During this visit, the conversation will not be interrupted by texts and there are no phone calls to return. You have the content creator’s full attention and you can rest assured you will receive plenty of positive affirmations during this time.

Though there are few sounds other than the content creator’s voice, the caring friend role-play offers a kind of bedside manner that few physicians can replicate. There is no demand on you other than to sit back and receive the love and support being sent through the screen; however, you are given the opportunity to reciprocate that love and caring via comments to the ASMRtist.

TINGLE TIP

If you’d like to see some caring friend role-plays, some of our favorites are Tony Bomboni’s role-play for taking care of a sick friend (youtube.com/watch?v=HgnEKWPANDI), amalzd’s soft-spoken caring friend role-play (youtube.com/watch?v=K9WpB3YPsOI), and JustAWhisperingGuy’s caring friend role-play for panic attacks (youtube.com/watch?v=f9YGDKtsTC4).

Salon Service Role-Plays

When we asked tingle heads what role-plays had the biggest triggering effect on them, salon service role-plays was one of the top ones mentioned.

Hair play is one of the first ASMR memories many tingle heads can recall from an early age and one of the few triggers they experience regularly throughout their lives. For instance, as a child, you may easily remember a warm, fuzzy feeling that occurred when you were still reliant on others for your daily grooming habits. You might have felt a brush, comb, or fingers rake along your scalp and known the tingles would not be far behind. Later in life, the feeling might have been relegated to slumber parties and sleepovers, when an ambitious friend wanted to try out a new ’do and eventually ebbed to those once-a-month salon visits when you placed your hair in someone else’s hands not only to look and feel better but in hopes of recapturing a familiar feeling from days gone by: the ASMR sensation.

There are two main reasons why the salon service role-play is so popular with ASMR experiencers. First of all, it is one of the most familiar. Who hasn’t had their hair shampooed, cut, and styled at some point in their lives? Because people have experience with the sights, sounds, and sensations associated with a salon visit, it makes it much easier to superimpose themselves onto the scene.

The second reason is a bit more psychological. While a salon visit is without a doubt a relaxing and calming experience, there is something very unique about the hairdresser-client relationship. As a trained professional, a hairdresser is not only hired to help people alter their physical appearance. Over time, he becomes privy not only to the client’s hair care preferences, but also to that person’s innermost opinions, thoughts, and feelings. The only other relationship that can compare to it is the one between a doctor/therapist and their patient.

DID YOU KNOW?

ASMR experiencers say their favorite part of the salon role-play is the scalp massage because it simulates the stimulation of the nerves and blood vessels around the head while calming tension at the same time.

Why is this, and how is this replicated in an ASMR video? In both situations, there is an incredible amount of trust placed in the professional. Clients trust their hairdressers not to take too much off the top or dye their hair a wild shade, while tingle heads count on ASMRtists to keep things low key and soothing and to not make a radical departure from what is commonly associated from the salon experience. There is also something about the positioning and gaze of the professional that has a bearing on the person “in the chair.” Both a stylist and an ASMRtist tend to have a gentle gaze and intense focus on the job at hand, but neither of is looking at the person directly. In a salon, the stylist addresses the person through the reflection in the mirror, while in an ASMR role-play, the screen provides a similar barrier. This makes for a less invasive experience.

Plus, both events take place in an affirming, nonjudgmental atmosphere. A stylist’s job is not to tear clients down; it is to lift them up and help them feel good about themselves. An ASMRtist does the same thing in his role-plays. The ASMRtist offers appropriate compliments, validates the viewer’s choices, and does not criticize the viewer’s preferences. His job is not to pressure viewers into changing their lives or to eliminate negative behavior, but rather to offer a supportive setting in which viewers can relax and enjoy some much-needed personal time.

Salon role-plays are not only limited to haircuts and highlights; you can also find ones that include a wide variety of day spa services as well, such as manicures, pedicures, massage therapy, and makeup artistry. The following are a few of our favorites:

DID YOU KNOW?

The makeover is second only to hair services when it comes to favorite ASMR role-plays that focus on aesthetics. In these, ASMRtists “talk” a person through a traditional makeover by showing someone products and then pretending to apply them. There are usually a lot of “container sounds” (such as opening bottles and jars) and a lot of brushing on the microphone to give the illusion of application.

Medical Role-Plays

Medical examination role-plays are an interesting branch of the ASMR universe. Even though they rank as the number-one ASMR role-play throughout the online tingle community, they are the scenarios least likely to be connected to early, real-life ASMR experiences. (The exception to this is a head lice check, but that does not count, as a licensed professional does not always conduct it.)

It’s not surprising when you stop and think about it. Your earliest memories of doctor’s visits are likely associated with the unpleasantness of immunizations followed by the fear that routine checkups could turn into fatal diagnoses when you are older. So why are so many tingle heads drawn to those situations that lack positive associations in real life?

Mainly because they know nothing can go wrong. In an ASMR medical exam, there is no danger of being diagnosed with cancer, receiving an astronomical bill, or being referred to a specialist for further testing. When the possible negativity affiliated with a real-life scenario is removed, all that’s left are the comforting aspects of the situation: the caring and sympathetic personal attention, gentle gazes, and the implication of interpersonal interaction.

According to Danielle Orfi of the New York Times, there is something inherently comforting about the physical exam, especially when people know that nothing is seriously wrong. In her article “Not on the Doctor’s Checklist, but Touch Matters,” she notes that like salon services, the doctor-patient exchange is fundamentally different than any other relationship in individuals’ lives because it includes the laying on of hands, and when people come to the doctor, they expect a physical connection. “A doctor’s visit is not a doctor’s visit until a stethoscope has probed the inner rhythms of the heart, and a set of medical hands has palpated the belly,” she wrote.

Another reason tingle heads gravitate to the medical exam is because it has traditional relaxation methodologies built into its very core, even though many people do not realize it. Think about it: If someone comes to you running, panting and panicking, what is the first thing you tell the person to do? Take a deep breath. When you are nervous before speaking in public or going on stage, what do you do to relax the nerves? You take a deep breath. How do you begin exercise sessions? By taking some deep breaths to get the oxygen flowing. How do you start to meditate? Your clear your mind and concentrate on your breathing. How do hypnotists begin to get you into that alpha state of mind? They encourage you to concentrate on your breath. And what does a doctor do (in general) when he walks into the room? That’s right. He gets his stethoscope, listens to your heart and lungs, and tells you to take a deep breath.

TINGLE TIP

All tingle heads have practical experience with medical exams, making them one of the easiest role-plays on which to superimpose the senses. When an image is re-created faithfully in the mind, ASMR experiencers say that they can trick their brains into feeling the elements of the exam even though no one is physically touching them.

Which one of those situations is the easiest to imagine and concentrate on? The first few aren’t very calming, so you can eliminate them. And if you are like us, the meditation example of clearing your head or merely focusing on your breath can seem rather daunting. Unlike those examples, the final example with the doctor is both calming and familiar, making it the easiest image to re-create mentally.

ASMR medical role-plays are traditionally noninvasive or semi-invasive exams that typically include basic intake questions, a brief explanation of what is about to occur, the exam itself, and then your discharge instructions. (Don’t worry, we have a feeling you will get a clean bill of health!) Some of the most popular medical exams include cranial nerve exams (an ASMR community favorite), ear cleanings, eye exams, general check-ups, dental visits, physical/occupational therapy consultations, and hypnosis/therapy sessions.

Because the medical based role-play is the most popular ASMR category, there are numerous videos to choose from. However, in order to get you started, the following are a few we like that will help you sit back, relax, and enjoy the tingly goodness to follow:

Other Service-Based Role-Plays

In addition to providing fake haircuts, highlights, and medical exams to their cadre of clients, content creators are constantly on the lookout for situations that will lend themselves well to the ASMR experience. Some of these include tutorial sessions, tarot card readings, suit fittings, interior design consultation, shop visits, and more.

Although they run the gamut in terms of setting, dialogue, and corresponding sound assortments, at their core, they are all service-based scenarios in which the ASMRtist consults with viewers on a particular issue or problem, presents them with appropriate options, and ultimately affirms their choices. What makes these role-plays unique is the fact that viewers can select the ones that might trigger them based on experience and personal preference. Let’s look at some of the more common service-based role-plays and see if any of these sound like appealing options to you:

ASMR tutoring session or classroom role-play: This is one that has definite significance for a lot of tingle heads. As you learned in Chapter 8, many people say their first ASMR experience happened in the classroom, whether it was a teacher’s voice or other classroom noise that triggered them. In traditional classroom videos, there is not a lot of personal interaction between the teacher and you, the student. Rather, there are plenty of perfunctory movements, including the sound of a pointer on a map, soft chalk on the blackboard, page turning, or ones associated with flash cards as you are drilled on math facts or vocabulary.

ASMR suit fitting role-play: This is a role-play that includes a lot of interaction between the tailor and you, the client. In this situation, the ASMRtist portrays a custom suit maker who must measure you for a new outfit. The ASMRtist will show you many of the tools of the trade before coming close to take a variety of measurements and making adjustments concerning overall fit. He may also show you a variety of fabrics from which you can choose your new clothes.

TINGLE TIP

If you are not a man or someone who can be tingled by the idea of a suit fitting, there are variations on this role-play that involve bridal gowns.


ASMR fortune-teller role-play: Like the tutoring session, there is no implied physical connection between the ASMRtist and the viewer, but you can count on a lot of ethereal gestures, intense gazes, and affected speech to be part of this role-play. An ASMRtist may gaze into a crystal ball, chart your horoscope, or conduct a full tarot reading to offer you insight into the status of your life and to warn you of what’s to come. This role-play is a lot of fun, but please keep in mind that any occultlike role-play does not necessarily reflect a personal interest or belief in the supernatural and that any fortune, advice, or horoscope reading is intended for entertainment and tingle purposes only.

Consultation role-play: This is primarily demonstrative and centers on a consultation with some kind of service provider such as a shop clerk, interior designer, or fashion consultant. These role-plays are similar to the traditional show-and-tells mentioned in Chapter 9 but are set against the backdrop of some kind of storyline. (They are also one of the simplest role-plays to create. See Chapter 14 for more on how to make this type of role-play.)

If you are ready to get out of the doctor’s office and day spa and into one of these other types of role-plays, we suggest the following service-based role-plays that will give you an idea of the ASMR trigger library that is available online:


Fantastic Fantasies: Redefining Traditional Role-Plays

Whenever a certain kind of role-play becomes popular, it seems as though every ASMRtist offers their variation on it. This is actually quite common, especially in medical exams, salon services, or tutorials. Because all of these have traditional formats and most people are familiar with them, there is not a lot of room for deviation.

Unfortunately, this leads to role-play burnout, a nonofficial condition that ASMRtists describe as trying to make something new out of the tried and true. While viewers may want more ear examinations or cranial nerve evaluations, ASMRtists can only reinvent the wheel so many times before becoming bored. To combat that, they begin to look at the elements of their most popular videos and discover how they can use them in new ways to make the ideas fresh and interesting to viewers. This has led to the creation of role-plays with a sci-fi or fantasy twist.

Taking ASMR to the Next Level

As ASMR content has changed over the past few years, so, too, have the technologies that are being used to create it. Once upon a time, ASMR videos were made almost exclusively with point-and-shoot camera applications on cell phones and other mobile devices. Today, however, ASMRtists are going high tech and purchasing top-of-the-line cameras and binaural microphones and incorporating any number of special effects. Not only has this enabled them to build a better mousetrap, so to speak, it has allowed them to completely transform the role-play as people know it.

Naturally, this has been embraced by some and eschewed by others, but that is all part of the subjectivity of the medium. Some feel that layered sounds, CGI graphics, and fanciful storylines offer tingle heads something new to trigger the senses, while others find all of the bells and whistles too stimulating and subscribe to a “less-is-more” mentality. While we are not here to offer commentary on which type of role-play is better than the other, we can say that when these impressive effects are used in concert with other aspects of ASMR content, the result is truly a treat!

Venturing into Fantasy: Ally “ASMRrequests”

Leading the way with these sci-fi and fantasy-based films is Ally “ASMRrequests.” Ally “ASMRrequests” is a virtual reality enthusiast and sci-fi buff who first incorporated the type of special effects she would later become known for in her choose-your-own-adventure spa tour video (see the end of this chapter for the link to it).

The episode was her answer to the many requests she had to create a day spa video similar to all of the other ones she had seen on YouTube. Inspired to do something that had not been done before and having an affinity for the “choose your own adventure” books of her childhood, she decided to resurrect the medium ASMR style. The 11-minute video is a short introduction to the Lumous Day Spa, which features a seamless green screen background, fantastic sound quality, and three embedded links at the end to take viewers to the next stop on the tour. It was an impressive effort to say the least, and with nearly 300,000 views, it marked a new day for ASMR content creation.

TINGLE TIP

If you choose to screen the spa tour video from Ally “ASMRrequests” on a mobile device, follow the links in the description box to see other rooms on the tour. Each one has its own triggers, and you don’t want to miss out on any of them!

Two months later, Ally “ASMRrequests” followed that initial breakthrough day spa video with a video on space travel (a link to this is at the end of the chapter). This video not only eclipsed its predecessor with over 1.5 million views but also included even more elaborate special effects. For example, she begins by tapping on a holographic screen and highlighting a travel package to a remote planet called Glesa 581G. When the unseen viewer agrees to the price, she begins booking the trip, conducting a background check (for the unrestricted provinces of the planet), and making sure that the viewer’s “nano biology” is up to date.

Andy Williams, writer for the UK online magazine Metro, called it the “Avatar of ASMR role-play” and quite the accomplishment for someone who produced the whole thing from her living room. However, special effects aside, it’s actually a fairly traditional ASMR video. Ally “ASMRrequests” has managed to offer a viewer personalized attention against a sci-fi backdrop and include a wide variety of triggers from several service-based role-plays (including the medical exam) without worrying whether anyone will claim it’s inauthentic.

Plus, by creating content that does not blur the line between her relationships with her audience, she is able to give her viewers the triggers they want without subjecting herself to the more provocative elements of the ASMR community (such as girlfriend role-plays).

Sci-Fi/Fantasy Role-Play Videos

Ready to transform the way you look at ASMR role-plays? Check out these fantastic videos that take the role-play to the next level—and take you on an adventure you cannot possibly imagine!

The Least You Need to Know

  • In addition to offering tingle triggers, ASMR role-plays simulate personalized attention, which helps people feel less lonely and more connected.
  • The two most popular types of ASMR role-plays are salon services and medical exams.
  • Service-based videos are a step up from traditional show-and-tell episodes and allow viewers to select the ones that might trigger them based on experience and personal preference.
  • ASMRtists such as Ally “ASMRrequests” are working to take role-play to the next level with futuristic sci-fi and fantasy without losing the traditional ASMR role-play components.
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