The habits of curious folk

Like young children, curious people ask lots of questions, and they're not shy about it. In fact, to a curious person, there's no such thing as a stupid question. They're not afraid of being seen as dumb, or saying “I don't know.” Nor are they afraid of being wrong; they'd rather learn something new and interesting than be right all the time. They're generally good listeners too, and have the ability to listen without forming assumptions or hasty judgments.

Curious people have active rather than passive minds—they seek out new information and experiences, rather than accepting the world as it's presented to them. This means they read a lot, often on a broad range of topics, although they may also dive very deeply into topics that really excite them. As such, curious people are rarely bored. How can they be when there's always something new to learn?

Curious people are explorers, essentially—explorers of information, places, people, challenges, possibilities, and anything else that might expand their mind. As Albert Einstein once said, “I have no special talent, I am only passionately curious.”

This is a fairly broad description of curious people, but I want to delve into two specific elements that I believe are essential for curiosity and continual learning. They are humility and a growth mindset. Let's start with humility.

Humility

Being humble—basically, to be free from pride and arrogance—is central to curiosity, because it tells us that we don't know everything there is to know. It tells us that we can stand to learn more, do more, and become more. Humility is often confused with a lack of confidence or self-belief, when in fact the opposite is true. Humble people recognize their strengths as well as their weaknesses, but they don't seek to hide their weaknesses, which are, after all, just opportunities to grow. This inner confidence is why a humble person has no fear of looking stupid or asking “stupid” questions—it's all part of growing.

Humility is an especially important quality—albeit not an immediately obvious one –for leaders and managers to cultivate (see Chapter 15, “Leadership Skills”). In his book Good to Great, Jim Collins identifies two traits that are common among CEOs of organizations that transitioned from average market performance to superior performance. Personal humility was one of those traits. (The other was indomitable will.) Think about it for a second; humble people are more likely to listen to what others have to say, to embrace feedback, and to work well with others—because humble people aren't under the illusion that they're the smartest person in the room.

We'll talk more about practical steps to ignite curiosity later in the chapter, but adopting a humble mindset is certainly an important first step. If you believe you have much to learn from others, you're more likely to feel that desire to learn.

Growth mindset

Psychologist Carol Dweck coined the phrase “growth mindset” in her groundbreaking book Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. If you haven't yet read this book, I highly recommend it as part of your continual learning journey. In Mindset, Dweck argues that success doesn't come from intelligence, talent, or education; it comes from having the right mindset—specifically, a growth mindset. This is backed up by her many years of research showing that the attitudes of students—in particular, their attitude to failures and setbacks—had a significant impact on their achievement.

Someone with a growth mindset believes they have the ability to grow, improve, and learn. They see obstacles, failures, and challenges as a chance to grow. And, importantly, they believe that, while everyone has inherent qualities and traits, success comes from constant personal development and continual learning. This is in contrast to someone with a fixed mindset, who believes they're limited by fixed, inherent traits and abilities that can't be changed or improved. Setbacks and failures, however small, can be devastating to someone with a fixed mindset, regardless of how talented or intelligent they are, because they believe that if they fail at something, it's because they lack the natural talent to succeed.

In the fixed mindset, you've either got it or you ain't. In the growth mindset, even the most basic abilities can be developed with hard work.

Of course, most people don't fall hard and fast into either a growth or fixed mindset. For most of us, we sit somewhere on the spectrum between the two, perhaps sometimes leaning more one way than the other.

Think about times when you've exhibited a fixed mindset. For example, maybe you've caught yourself saying something like, “Ugh, I can't do math.” Adopting a growth mindset, you'd instead say, “I can't do math yet. But I can learn,” because almost anything can be learned and improved with practice. I've noticed there's a lot of emphasis on this mindset—this notion that you don't know X, Y, or Z yet—in UK primary schools, which is interesting to see. As adults we can certainly all benefit from acknowledging our weaknesses or gaps in knowledge, without being limited by them—because we always have the ability to improve.

If humility will help you stay curious, having a growth mindset will help you commit to a journey of continual, lifelong learning. I'll talk about how to cultivate this mindset later in the chapter.

The darker side of curiosity

Before we move on, let me quickly acknowledge that curiosity doesn't always manifest as a positive desire to accumulate intellectual knowledge or to experience interesting new things. Someone who watches reality TV (yes, we've all done it) might be doing so because they're curious about the lives of the people on screen. Every tabloid story about a celebrity's love life is playing on readers' curiosity. It's easy to see how curiosity can tip over into gossip or nosiness (which is, after all, a desire to learn—it's just misdirected towards things that are unimportant or personal). So when I talk about asking lots of questions as a key trait of curious people, I'm not talking about prying.

For individuals

Let's start with humility, because that's one of the driving factors of curiosity:

• Be honest with yourself. Humility starts with truth, so think honestly about your weaknesses as well as your strengths. Be willing to admit your mistakes and take accountability, without relying on excuses. These mistakes or weaknesses show where you have room to grow.
• Practice acceptance. While you want to be honest about your shortcomings, don't be hard on yourself. Try to look at yourself without judgment and negativity—to accept yourself as you are, as the first step in learning to be or do better in future. Mindfulness techniques can give you some really useful acceptance skills.
• Practice active listening. Active listening enhances so many of the skills in this book and humility is no different. Listen intently to what others are saying and invite feedback at every opportunity. Importantly, listen with an open mind and leave your assumptions or preconceptions at the door.
• Ask for help. Recognizing when we need help—and being able to ask for that help—is an important part of humility. Likewise, don't be afraid of saying “I don't know.” You don't have to be the smartest person in the room.
• Get comfortable with anxiety and uncertainty. Admitting that you need help, have failed at something, or don't know how to do something can be uncomfortable, as can any sort of change. Try to “sit with” these feelings when they crop up, rather than rushing to solve or unpack them. Again, mindfulness can be great for this, because it teaches you to acknowledge and accept thoughts without judgment.

Cultivating a growth mindset is key to continual learning:

• If you haven't already, do read Carol Dweck's book Mindset. In this chapter, I've only scratched the surface of her fascinating research.
• Think about where you currently sit on the growth mindset versus fixed mindset spectrum.
• Try to see challenges and failures as opportunities for self-development. It might help to think about a past challenge you've encountered, and how it ultimately led you to become stronger or better at something. After all, every athlete who's ever won a gold medal has no doubt had their fair share of injuries, losses, and setbacks along the way.
• Reward yourself for hard work. The growth mindset prioritizes effort and hard work over natural talent, so when you've worked hard at something—even if it hasn't been a total success—give yourself a mental pat on the back or a physical reward.
• Remember the power of yet, as in “I don't know how to do this yet.” Notice how you talk about your own skills, or the talents of others, and reframe your language accordingly. For example, instead of saying, “She's so good at that,” you could say, “She must have worked really hard to develop that skill.”
• Be realistic. Learning any new skill takes hard work and patience. And that's okay. Embracing the journey is all part of the growth mindset.
• Practice humility (see above). Having a growth mindset means being willing to mess up, admit what we don't know (yet!), and expose our flaws as well as our strengths—all part of being humble.

And here are some general tips for developing your curiosity and continual learning:

• Make time for learning. I know life is busy, but do make time to read, watch, and listen to new things. Whenever you're learning a new skill, carve out time to practice it regularly.
• Do something different, today, tomorrow, the day after that. Just try something, anything, new. You could, for example, walk into a bookshop and pick up the first book that catches your eye. Or throw a dart at a map on the wall and cook a meal from that country's cuisine. Or listen to an entirely new genre of music. Or walk down a street you've never walked before, noticing the different buildings and gardens as you go.
• Keep an ideas journal. I've mentioned this before, but I find it really helpful to jot down ideas, quotes, and other interesting snippets in a journal. You could also use this to jot down questions that occur to you (so that you can research them later), or ideas for new activities to try, or even learning goals.
• Never say never (and never say boring). When you say you'll never want to do something, or declare something you've never tried is “boring,” you're instantly closing yourself off to new possibilities. Curious people are open to all sorts of experiences.
• Make full use of the ever-expanding array of learning resources on offer. There are free online courses, live streams on Instagram and YouTube, podcasts, books, audiobooks (great for making the most of long journeys), and more.
• Ask open-ended questions. Try to emulate children's tendency to question everything, especially with those Who, What, Where, When, and Why questions. Pair this with deep listening.
• Learn not to take things at face value. (Revisit the tips for critical thinking from Chapter 5 for more on this.)
• Set yourself learning goals—learning a certain song on the piano by the end of the month, completing five hours of language learning each week, or gaining a project management qualification by the end of the year. Use the SMART goal-setting technique, and make sure your goals are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant (to your career or life goals), and Time-Specific.
• Don't direct curiosity towards gossip or unimportant details. It's a waste of your precious time and energy.
• When you see others succeed, first celebrate their success. But then engage your curious mind and ask them what it took to become so successful or good at what they do. What challenges did they overcome? What steps did they take on their journey?

I'd also like to say a few words about fostering creativity in children, because it's a topic that's close to my heart. If you have children (or work with children), do encourage them to ask questions, try new things, read books beyond what they're told to read at school, take up new hobbies, and so on. Praise their hard work rather than inherent abilities. (For example, say something like “You did so well on your spelling test. You must have worked really hard to learn those words,” as opposed to “You did so well on your spelling test. You're so clever.”) Also, remember the power of yet in conversations with your children; when they say they don't know or can't do something, add the word “yet” on the end. Keep doing it until they roll their eyes, then do it some more. And of course, do the same when you talk about your own skills and knowledge.

For organizations

It's really important that companies and leaders encourage curiosity and continual learning in their teams. A great way to do this is to celebrate learning and effort instead of just celebrating outcomes or output (for example, by linking performance evaluations to learning goals). As part of this, you can let employees broaden their interests and define their own learning goals. You want to encourage self-motivated learning, but the organization will no doubt need to invest in more formal learning and upskilling resources as well.

You can also hire for curiosity, by making curiosity one of the attributes you assess candidates for.

And of course, you'll want to build a culture where people are encouraged to speak up and ask questions—without fear of feeling silly. Leaders can model this in their own behavior, especially if they practice humility. And remember, the language that leaders use matters (see Chapter 15). So rephrase failures as learning opportunities, and remember the power of yet. If people don't know how to do something, they just don't know how to do it yet.