Index

accountability

communication about, 151

controllers and, 21–22

job of leaders and, 155–158

Adaptec, 154

Adler, John, 154

aggression, 169, 171–172, 179

AlliedSignal, 68

American Behavioral Scientists, 27–28

American Political Science Review, 37

apologies, 47, 54–55

Aristotle, 119

artist stereotype, 132, 138–140

Ash, Mary Kay, 71, 84–85

assumptions, communicating, 149, 150–153

authenticity, 105–113

authority. See also hierarchy

linguistic style and, 58–64

in persuasion, 36–39

bad news, giving, 166–169

behavior

deviant, breaking silence with, 102

manipulative, 41–42, 67

modeling, 31–32

reciprocity and, 31–32

Berscheid, Ellen, 29–30

black-box conversations, 61–62

Bossidy, Lawrence, 68

Branson, Richard, 7, 8

Brehm, Jack W., 35

Brehm, Sharon S., 35

business mind-set, 116–117

Butler, Samuel, 35

Case, Steve, 7, 15

categorization, 134–135

speed of, 131

change

organization preparation for, 128–130

storytelling for, 120, 122, 128–130

change agents, 72

charismatics, in decision making, 8–12

attention span of, 9–10

buzzwords for, 7

definition of, 1

how to influence, 6–7

prominent examples of, 7

charity case stereotype, 137

Chrysler, 71, 87–88

Churchill, Winston, 129

Cialdini, Robert B., 25–42

Cioffi, Delia, 34

clarification technique, 174–175, 177

coalitions, 102–103

Coca-Cola, 143

coercion, persuasion and, 35–36, 41–42

cognitive flexibility, 142

collaboration, storytelling in fostering, 121, 122

Collins, Jim, 158

commitment

emotional, persuasion and, 85–89

in persuasion, 33–36

written statements of, 34–35

common ground, framing for, 70–71, 80–82

communication

authenticity in, 105–113

clear messages in, 145–163

conversational rituals and, 53–58

on corporate culture, 149, 161–162

cultural differences in, 45–46, 62–63

direct versus indirect, 47, 60–64

on financial results, 148, 153–154

functional levels of, 46–47

intent versus, 178–179

leader’s sense of job and, 155–158

leverage in, 163

linguistic styles and, 43–65

managing up and, 59–60

mind-set and, 157

neuroscience of, 106–108

nonverbal, power of, 106–108

on organizational hierarchy, 148, 150–153

silence and, 91–103

storytelling and, 82–84, 115–130

stressful, 165–180

on time management, 149, 158–161

vague or unclear, 145–147

vivid, in persuasion, 71, 82–85

who gets heard in, 43–65

compromise

in persuasion, 70–71, 74–75

resistance to, 74–75

confidence, linguistic style and, 51–52

conflict

costs of avoiding, 95–100

disarming, 169–171, 177

diversity and, 93–95

linguistic styles and, 47, 57–58

silence and, 91–103

stressful conversations about, 165–180

time pressure and, 98–99

timing, 96

when to keep silent on, 96

Conger, Jay A., 67–89

consensus

silence and, 94–95

consistency, principle of, 33–36

controllers, in decision making, 5, 21–23

buzzwords for, 7

definition of, 2

how to influence, 6–7

prominent examples of, 7

conversational rituals, 53–58

compliments, 56–57

feedback, 55–56

greetings, 53

oppositional, 57–58

Cooper, Cynthia, 91

Coors, Peter, 7, 18

corporate culture, communication about, 149, 161–162

creativity

pitches and, 134–135, 142–144

stereotypes and, 142–144

time pressure and, 98–99

credibility

building, 75–76

establishing, 73–79

of experts, 37–39

persuasion and, 70, 73–79

self-assessment of, 74–75

skeptics and, 15–16

sources of, 73–74

credit, sharing, 46, 50–51

criticism, 59–60. See also feedback

cultural differences

conflict and, 93–95

in linguistic style, 45–46, 62–63

Cutting Their Own Cloth (film), 141

Daft, Douglas, 7, 18

Davis, Harry, 26

decision making

buzzwords to encourage, 7

by charismatics, 1, 6–12

by controllers, 2, 5, 6–7, 21–23

emotions in, 9

by followers, 1–2, 6–7, 18–20

in pitches, 142–144

by skeptics, 5, 6–7, 15–18, 22

styles of, 1–23

by thinkers, 1, 6–7, 12–15

time pressure and, 98–99

Defying the Crowd (Sternberg and Lubart), 135

Dell, Michael, 7, 12

Denning, Stephen, 115–130

Dilbert, 91

Dill, Mallorre, 138

directness, 47, 60–64, 179

Disabled American Veterans, 31

diversity

conflict and, 93–95

gender differences in linguistic style, 48–65

ego issues

communication and, 156, 158

in decision making, 16, 17

Eisenberg, Eric, 59–60

Ellison, Larry, 2, 7, 15

Elsbach, Kimberly D., 131–144

emotions

assessing audience, 85–87

charismatics and, 9

conflict and, 96

defensiveness, 97–98

liking or affection, in persuasion, 26–30

passion, in presentations, 109, 111–112

in persuasion, 71, 85–89

self-awareness of, 172–173

in stressful conversations, 165–180

Enron, 91

ethics, persuasion and, 40, 41–42

Evans, F. B., 27–28

exclusivity, persuasive power of, 40

expectations, 161–162

experts and expertise

building credibility and, 75–76

establishing, 37–39

in persuasion, 36–39, 70

as source of credibility, 73–74

feedback

linguistic style and, 47, 55–56

managing up or down and, 59–60

stressful conversations in, 176–177

financial results, communication about, 148, 153–154

Fiorina, Carly

communication clarity and, 150–151, 152–153

decision-making style of, 7, 18

followers, in decision making, 18–20

buzzwords for, 7, 19

definition of, 1–2

how to influence, 6–7

prominent examples of, 7

framing, 70–71, 80–82

Frenzen, Jonathan, 26

Fries, Karen, 78–79, 82–84

Gardner, Howard, 128

Garner, Randy, 34

Gates, Bill, 2, 7, 12, 79

gender differences, in linguistic style, 48–65

apologies and, 54–55

asking questions and, 46, 52–53

compliments and, 56–57

confidence or boasting and, 51–52

directness or indirectness and, 60–64

feedback and, 55–56

in giving criticism, 59–60

sharing credit and, 50–51

General Electric, 120, 129

gift giving, 31

Gladwell, Malcolm, 135

goals, framing, 70–71

Goizueta, Roberto, 143

gospel preaching, 72

Graham, Katharine, 7, 12

Greenspan, Alan, 12

greetings, 53

Hamm, John, 145–163

Handbook of Social Psychology (McGuire), 36

hard sell, 74

Heatherington, Laurie, 51–52

Hewlett-Packard, 150–151, 152–153

hierarchy

communication about, 148, 150–153

linguistic style and, 47, 60–64

silence on conflict and, 94–95, 101–102

hip-pocket phrases, 176

hiring

experts or expertise and, 70, 78

linguistic styles and, 58

pitches and, 143

Holmes, Janet, 55

Hopkins, Nancy, 102–103

Iacocca, Lee, 7, 8, 88

IBM, 124–126, 129–130

indirectness, 47, 60–64, 179

International Storytelling Center, 115, 116

Interpersonal Attraction (Berscheid and Walster), 29–30

Jack: Straight from the Gut (Welch), 120

John Wayne approach to persuasion, 74

Journal of Abnormal and Social Psychology, 34–35

Journal of Applied Psychology, 32, 39

Journal of Consumer Research, 26

Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 29

Journal of Personality, 27

Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 32

Kelleher, Herb, 7, 8

King, Mark, 159–161

King, Martin Luther, Jr., 129

Knishinsky, Amram, 40

knowledge, sharing via storytelling, 123–124

Language in Society (Linde), 61–62

leaders

assumptions of, 149

on corporate culture, 149, 161–162

establishing credibility of, 37–39

expectations of, 161

financial results and, 148, 153–154

knowing what your job is, 149, 155–158

message management by, 145–163

mind-set and, 157

organizational hierarchy and, 148, 150–153

storytelling and, 120–125, 127–128

on time management, 149, 158–161

Leadership Engine, The (Tichy), 128, 129

Leading Minds (Gardner), 128

liking, principle of, 26–30

Linde, Charlotte, 61–62

linguistic styles, 43–65

acting modest in, 46

apologies and, 47, 54–55

asking questions and, 46, 52–53

authority negotiation and, 58–64

compliments and, 55–56

confidence and boasting and, 51–52

conversational rituals and, 53–58

cultural differences in, 45–46, 62–63

definition of, 44

direct versus indirect, 47, 60–64

gender and, 48–50

giving feedback and, 47, 55–56

managing for, 64–65

managing up and, 47, 59–60

meetings and, 64–65

opposition and, 57–58

sensitivity to, 50

sharing credit in, 46, 50–51

turn taking in, 45–46

verbal opposition and, 47, 57–58

Linnett, Barry, 78–79, 82–84

loss language, 39–40

Lubart, Todd, 135, 142

managers

establishing credibility of, 37–39

managing up by, 47, 59–60

manipulative behavior, 41–42, 67

Marcell, Robert, 87–88

Mary Kay Cosmetics, 71, 84–85

Massena, Darrin, 79

McDermott, Lou, 141–142

McDermott, Sophie, 141–142

McGuire, William, 36

metrics, communication about, 153–154

Microsoft, 70, 78–79, 82–84

Miller, Robert B., 1–23

modeling, 31–32

modesty, linguistic style and, 46

Morgan, Nick, 105–113

NASA, 175

Nass, Clifford, 79

Nasser, Jacques, 7, 21

neophytes, 132, 140–142

neutrality, 174, 175

New Coke, 143

New York Times, 37

O’Neal, Shaquille, 138

Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes (journal), 39–40

organizational structure

communication about, 148, 150–153

linguistic style and, 47, 60–64

silence on conflict and, 94–95, 101–102

Orr, Julian, 127

peer pressure, 32–33

Perlow, Leslie, 91–103

Perot, Ross, 7, 21

personality, decision-making styles and, 3

Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin (journal), 33–34

person prototypes, 134–135

persuasion, 1–23, 67–89

approaches in, 2–8

authority principle in, 36–39

basic principles in, 25–42

buzzwords for, 7

of charismatics, 1, 8–12

coercion and, 35–36

compromise in, 70–71

consistency principle in, 33–36

of controllers, 2, 5, 21–23

credibility and, 70, 73–79

decision-making styles and, 1–23

dialogue in, 68, 69–70

discovery phase in, 68

emotional connection in, 71, 85–89

ethics and, 40, 41–42, 67

evidence in, 82–85

of followers, 1–2, 18–20

framing in, 70–71, 80–82

history of studying, 36–37

John Wayne approach to, 74

knowing your audience and, 81–82, 85–87

liking principle in, 26–30

as manipulation, 41–42, 67

mistakes in, 74–75

as negotiation or learning process, 67–68

in pitches, 131–144

power of, 89

preparation for, 68–69

presentations tailored for, 3–4

as process, 75

process of, 68–89

reciprocity principle in, 30–32

research on, 72

scarcity principle in, 39–40

similarity in, 26–30

of skeptics, 1, 5, 15–18

social proof principle in, 32–33

steps in, 72–89

of thinkers, 1, 12–15

vivid language in, 71, 82–85

pilot projects, 76

pitches, 131–144

by artists, 132, 138–140

cautions for catchers in, 142–144

killing, 136–137

by neophytes, 132, 140–142

by showrunners, 132, 135–138

stereotypes and, 131, 133–135

types of pitchers and, 132

Poetics (Aristotle), 119

Popeil, Ron, 135

practical intelligence, 135–138

praise, persuasion and, 28, 29–30

presentations, 3–23

audience for, 108, 109, 110–111, 112–113

authenticity in, 105–113

for charismatics, 9–12

connecting with audience in, 108, 111

for followers, 18–20

listening to audience in, 112–113

nonverbal communication in, 106–108

openness to audience in, 108, 110–111

passion in, 109, 111–112

rehearsing, 106–109

for skeptics, 15–18

for thinkers, 12–15

prototype matching, 134–135

Psychological Reactance (Brehm and Brehm), 35

Public Opinion Quarterly (journal), 37

pushovers, 136

questions, linguistic style and, 46, 52–53

reciprocity, principle of, 30–32

Reeves, Bryon, 79

relationships

conflict and, silence on, 96–100

credibility from, 73–74, 76

linguistic style and, 46–47

persuasion and, 70

praise and, 29–30

reorganization, 150–153

Research on Language and Social Interaction (journal), 60

responsibility, acknowledging, 176–177

rhetoric, 72

robot stereotype, 136

Ronco Showtime Rotisserie & BBQ, 135

Rowley, Coleen, 91

Ruffo, Monica, 80–81

rumors, storytelling and, 121, 122, 123

Savage Sisters, 141–142

scarcity principle, 39–40

self-awareness, 172–173

Sex Roles (journal), 51–52

sexual harassment, 128

showrunners, 132, 135–138

Siebel, Tom, 7, 15

silence, 91–103

breaking the spiral of, 100–103

coalition building and, 102–103

deviant behavior and, 102

organizational costs of, 92–93

power and, 101–102

psychological price of, 92–93, 95–100

time pressure and, 98–99

when to maintain, 96

skeptics, in decision making, 5, 15–18

buzzwords for, 7

controllers compared with, 22

definition of, 1

how to influence, 6–7

prominent examples of, 7

Snowden, Dave, 124–126, 129–130

social proof principle, 32–33

speaking. See presentations

stereotypes, 131, 133–135, 144

artist, 132, 138–140

charity case, 137

neophyte, 132, 140–142

overreliance on, 142–144

pitch killing, 136–137

pushover, 136

robot, 136

showrunners, 132, 135–138

used-car salesman, 137

Sternberg, Robert, 134, 135, 142

Stewart, Martha, 7, 21, 23

storytelling, 115–130

boring, 126–128

change and, 120, 122, 128–130

examples of success or failure with, 124–126

leadership and, 127–128

narrative, power of, 116–118

patterns for different aims in, 120–126

persuasion with, 82–84

poor, 118–119

principles of, 119

vivid language in, 82–84

stressful conversations, 165–180

acknowledging responsibility in, 176–177

clarity in, 174–175, 177

“I have bad news for you,” 166–169

inevitability of, 179–180

intent or communication gap in, 178–179

managing, 168–169, 174–180

neutrality in, 174, 175

preparation for, 168, 172–175

rehearsing, 173–176

tactics versus people in, 178–179

temperate language in, 175

tone in, 175

“What’s going on here?,” 169–171, 177

“You are attacking me!,” 169, 171–172

tactics, neutralizing, 178–179

Talking about Machines (Orr), 127

Tannen, Deborah, 43–65

TaylorMade-adidas Golf, 159–161

teams

cross-functional, leaders of, 72

gender differences and, 51

linguistic style and, 51

temperance, 175

thinkers, in decision making, 12–15

buzzwords for, 7

definition of, 1

how to influence, 6–7

prominent examples of, 7

Tichy, Noel, 128, 129

time management, 149, 158–161

time pressure, 98–99

tone, 175

Tracy, Karen, 59–60

trust

credibility and, 73–74

decision-making styles and, 16

storytelling and, 120, 122

Tupperware parties, 26–27

Tyco, 128

unclear communication, 145–147

used-car salesman stereotype, 137

vague language, 145–147

values, storytelling and, 121, 122, 128

Virgil, 36

vision

communicating, 161–162

storytelling and, 124–125

Walster, Elaine, 29–30

Watkins, Sherron, 91

Weeks, Holly, 165–180

Welch, Jack, 120, 129

whistleblowers, 91

Whistle Communications, 146

Williams, Gary A., 1–23

Williams, Stephanie, 91–103

Winfrey, Oprah, 8

World Bank, 115–116, 118–119, 124

WorldCom, 91

Xerox, 126–127