A friend of mine since law school, David Ellen, is the senior vice president and general counsel for cable, telecommunications, and programming at Cablevision Systems Corporation, a leading telecommunications and entertainment company. In 2005, David and I had a conversation about what LRN was doing and, subsequent to that conversation, I prepared and sent him a personalized packet of information about the solutions I thought might support Cablevision's journey, including the card of one of our sales executives responsible for David's area. In mid-2006, Cablevision hired a new senior vice president of corporate compliance, Adam Rosman, to establish and develop a new compliance initiative. In the course of getting the lay of the land, Adam reached out to David. "David had good things to say about the company in general," Adam said when the three of us got together to recount this story, "and he was candid and up-front about his relationship with Dov."^[112] During their conversation, David reflected on the work we were doing at LRN, and he gave Adam the packet I had sent him the year before.

On David's recommendation, Adam called me and left a message with my temporary assistant, which for some reason I never got. "When I got no response, I thought it reflected poorly on the company," Adam said, leaving no doubt that he thought something quite a bit stronger. Nonetheless, he was impressed by the materials I had put together specifically for them, and there was David's recommendation, so he took a second step and left a message for the rep listed on the business card in the packet. "No one in their right mind would do this," Adam said. "Without David's additional recommendation, I probably wouldn't have made the second call." Lots of people want Cablevision's business, and Adam is used to getting his calls returned.

But again, no one called back. In the intervening time between when I had sent David those materials and Adam called the second time, the sales executive had left the company. Through a technical glitch, his voicemailbox had never closed and forwarded (another example of the ways technology both connects us and keeps us apart).

A few months later, David bumped into Adam, and asked in passing what had come of his conversations with us. Much to his surprise, Adam told him that, despite leaving a couple of messages, he had never received a return call and that, frankly, he was surprised. "It was inconceivable to me," David said. "It was totally out of character. I told Adam, 'Something must be wrong. That's not Dov. You should give them another chance.'"^[113] The force of David's reaction impressed Adam. A couple of weeks later, he found himself at a conference with Chris Kartchner, one of my colleagues at LRN. Because of David's comment, he approached Chris and told him the story. "He was mortified," Adam said. "A couple of days later, he followed up and explained that they had discovered the unreturned voicemail message sitting in the dead mailbox. He took my ribbing on the subject in good stride."

When I found out, I immediately called David and apologized. Adam Rosman had basically written off LRN when his call was not returned, and I don't blame him. How strange it must have seemed to be ignored and disrespected by a company whose business it was to help others get their hows right. Although my initial conversation with David Ellen had started a Wave of interest that Adam's original call perpetuated, our oversights stopped it dead. We didn't get our hows right.

Any possible collaboration between us could have ended right there, but there were a few powerful forces at work in this small, but common, interaction. The first was the reputation and trust I had built with David over the years. He knew that I placed the highest premium on getting my hows right. That reputation bought us a second chance. "It was not the ordinary benefit of the doubt you extend to companies," David told me. "In the ordinary course of things, you make a call or two and you move on. Too many people want our business to waste time with those who don't seem to." The second force lay in David's hows with Adam. He was transparent about our prior relationship when he first recommended us to Adam as a company he should definitely meet with, and equally forceful about that fact in his immediate response after learning of our failings. Adam could sense that David truly believed we were a company for Cablevision to know more about. The third force, of course, was Adam's perseverance and thoroughness in his search for the right company to assist Cablevision.

When Adam met Chris at that conference, he was impressed with the way Chris immediately owned the situation, discovered the miscommunication, and made it clear that it was out of character with what we believed in as a company. Chris was able to restore the reputation that had been damaged. In the ensuing months, Cablevision conducted a selection process during which they gave us full and honest consideration on the merits of what we had to offer. In the end, they selected one of our competitors that they felt better met their current needs. But I believe that we built a strong and trusting relationship, and as their needs evolve, I believe our dialogue will continue.

A small moment. A technical glitch. In a hyperconnected world, where the Expectation of Response factor is almost instant, such small moments can mean the difference between sustained, ongoing success and looking for your next job. Me to David, David to Adam, Adam back to David, Adam to Chris: To thrive in business today, these are the sorts of interpersonal synapses that we must seek to strengthen and extend. This is the sort of Wave that we need to make every day. Ours continues because, despite the "wardrobe malfunction" that almost killed it, our synapses were filled with some powerful forces.

Frameworks of understanding begin in the mind, in the actual chemical processes that fill the synapses between the active neurons in our brains, in the way we choose to see events and interactions, and in the language we choose to craft our thoughts. As we begin to see the connections and connectedness of the world around us in the light of how, we begin to look for ways to act on those connections, to affect them in powerful and productive ways. This part looks at the hows of behavior, the ways of conducting ourselves in an internetworked world: transparency, trust, and reputation.