CHAPTER 7

Sharing Happiness at Work

Create a Resonant Microculture on Your Team

Cultivating happiness at work is a deliberate, conscious act. You now know what it takes: finding and living your purpose, focusing passionately on your future, and building meaningful friendships.

There is one more thing you can do that will further increase your own happiness while also helping others: create a resonant microculture on your team. A resonant microculture is marked by a powerful and positive emotional climate as well as shared purpose, hope, vision, and norms that support happiness and success. Everyone is supported to work hard and work smart, while also feeling good about themselves and their accomplishments.

In this chapter I will talk about the kind of culture we all want at work and contrast it with the toxic cultures we see too often. I will share ideas about what you can do to create a resonant microculture: take charge of the emotional climate of your team, commit to shared purpose and vision, and create emotionally intelligent norms to support healthy ways of working together. I will end the book with a happiness manifesto: actions we must all commit to if we are going to be happier and more successful at work.

The Power of Culture

Roberto Pucci is an executive vice president at Sanofi, a global health-care company.¹ He has also worked at Hewlett-Packard, Agilent Technologies, and Fiat. In each of these companies, he has revamped and transformed virtually all aspects of the people function. His innovations in talent management, leadership development, training, and benefits have shaped how people work and enabled employees and companies to excel. Throughout his career, Roberto has worked to humanize his organizations, making it possible for people to learn, grow, and thrive.

Roberto helps leaders create environments that support good work, good outcomes, and fun. His own meetings are focused and lively. People laugh a lot and they get things done, too. He sets the tone by telling jokes, as well as praising people and minimizing his own contributions. He’s created a culture around him that diminishes hierarchy and supports creativity and innovation—a culture where the people who work for him feel empowered and committed.

Roberto said, “What drives me is the ability to make a difference in what I do. Every single time I left a job, I always asked myself, What is it that I’m leaving behind? If the answer ever turns out to be, ‘Well, not that much,’ then that would create a very deep sense of frustration. “And,” he continued, “if my product is people, I want to leave the company with a better product. If, when I leave this job, I can say that the people who work at Sanofi are able to become better individuals because of what we do in this company, because of the way we manage and the relationships we’ve built, then I’m satisfied. That’s what my job is all about.”

One of the ways that Roberto has brought this to life has been to focus on culture, something he knows to be one of the most important drivers of individual and collective success. It can also be an almost insurmountable barrier. An organization’s culture has an impact on virtually everything we say and do in the workplace: how we work; with whom we can talk and collaborate; what is taboo and what (or whom) is to be revered. Culture even has an impact on what we think and how and feel. Ultimately, culture affects the extent to which we can use our talents and whether or not we can be effective at work.

Unfortunately, too many of our organizations’ cultures do not help us to accomplish our goals, much less be happy. They are toxic: they stifle talent, hijack success, and make us miserable. Resonant cultures are harder to find in our organizations; these are the ones that foster creativity, adaptability, and collaboration. It’s easy to tell which is which.

Toxic Cultures

• Intense pressure to get short-term results
• Taboos against speaking up to power
• Us-versus-them mentality
• Dysfunctional competition
• Lots of talk about values but not enough action
• Lack of clarity around a vision
• Disrespect
• Lack of appreciation
• Pessimism
• Incivility and hurtfulness tolerated or even encouraged
• Inequity, absence of meritocracy, and injustice

These conditions result in fear, cynicism, lack of trust, anger, and withholding of time, energy, and talent, not to mention deep and pervasive unhappiness. Who wants to live that way at work?

What we need instead are resonant cultures where we can thrive physically, intellectually, and emotionally.²

Resonant Cultures

• A sense of unity around a noble purpose
• Overt commitment to virtues and values like honesty, forgiveness, gratitude, wisdom, and love
• A clear, inspiring, and shared vision of the future
• Generosity of time, talent, and resources
• Taboos against hurtful treatment of others, dishonesty, and cynicism
• Respect for the individual’s right to grow and develop
• Celebration of differences
• Compassion and humane treatment of everyone in good times and bad
• Fairness and justice
• Integrity
• Fun

Resonant cultures help us to contribute to the organization’s ultimate goals and to society. We delight in challenge, respect and appreciate one another’s differences and strengths, and value generosity, openness, honesty, and justice. We are able to deal effectively with conflict without harming one another; we learn from our failures and revel in celebrating successes together.³

It’s pretty obvious where most of us would prefer to work. But if your company isn’t there yet, you can make it better, by taking responsibility for culture building.

Take Personal Responsibility for Your Culture

In Primal Leadership, Daniel Goleman, Richard Boyatzis, and I made the point that “great leaders move us. They ignite our passion and inspire the best in us.”⁴ Richard and I went on to say that “great leaders are awake, aware, and attuned to themselves, to others, and to the world around them. They commit to their beliefs, stand strong in their values, and live full, passionate lives.”⁵

But it’s not only senior leaders who must have these qualities and behave this way. Work is just too complicated and there’s too much at stake to rely on a few people at the top of our organizations to guide us, help us to succeed, or make us happy. Today, each and every one of us must be a resonant leader. This is particularly true when we are talking about culture—that powerful force that affects how we feel, what we believe, and what we do at work.

Of course, it’s nigh impossible for any one person to transform an entire organizational culture; it’s just too complex and far-reaching. What you can do, however, is commit to creating a resonant microculture with the people you work with most closely: your office mates, peers, bosses, and team members.

You may work on or lead a formal team—a relatively stable group where each member has a designated role and goals are clear. Or, you may work on several teams that are less formal and more fluid—groups that come together around tasks or projects. You may not even be on a designated team. Insteand, your group is the people you see and talk with every day, in person or online. Whatever the nature of your connection with others, you can take steps to create a healthier environment, no matter what else is happening in the larger company.

When you take responsibility for the culture that surrounds you and your closest colleagues, your team can become an oasis, even in the most dysfunctional organizations. Instead of a climate that is marked by tension, anxiety, and stress, your team can have an aura of excitement and camaraderie. Instead of questionable values and ethics, you and your teammates hold yourselves accountable for living shared values and behaving in ways that make you proud.

Creating a Resonant Microculture

If you want to create a resonant microculture, start by managing the emotional tone of your team—what it feels like to be at work. Next, focus on crafting a shared purpose that is rooted in values you all care about. Build a hopeful, shared vision that unites you as you look to the future. Last, commit to emotionally intelligent “rules of the game”—norms that make your team fun to be part of and more effective, too.

Shape Your Team’s Emotional Reality

When we spend a good deal of time with the same people—as we do in teams—we create a shared emotional reality: the tone, tenor, and climate of the group. This happens because emotions spread like wildfire between and among people. And it’s not that we are simply reading body language or encouraging one another to feel a certain way: our brains are wired to pick up and mirror other people’s emotions. This means that moods are easily shared and the emotional reality on a team permeates every aspect of work.⁶

The emotional reality of a team is self-reinforcing: when one person’s toxic feelings leak, others become negative, too. Shared fear, frustration, and cynicism breed more of the same. We find it very hard, if not impossible, to be happy when we are surrounded by misery.

The same is true for passion, hope, and caring: when people catch our positive feelings, they want to help, support, and be with us. People want to join us when we express commitment to meaningful values, excitement, enthusiasm, and hope. When we express warmth and acceptance for others, people can feel that too, and they like it.⁷

Happiness grows exponentially when we share it. The good news is that we have a great deal of control over the emotional reality of our team. To begin, it helps to reflect on how you typically influence your team’s emotional reality.

Because so many organizations are unhealthy (or downright toxic), it is important to understand how your organization’s culture affects you. You can easily get swept away by others or your organization’s not-very-healthy climate. Instead, focus on what you find meaningful at work, consciously adopt a positive outlook, and focus on your own and others’ strengths. This will go a long way to keeping toxicity at bay.

It is also important to get very good at managing your own emotions so you can contribute to building resonance with and for the people around you. Obviously, a healthy emotional climate will include a hefty dose of positive feelings. Excitement, enthusiasm, pleasure, pride, and joy, for example, are emotional experiences that constructively affect each person and a team’s climate.

But anger, fear, frustration, and sadness have their place in the emotional reality of a team, too. These feelings signal injustice, danger, and inefficiency, among other things. Similarly, impatience, anxiety, and contempt are signs that something needs to change. We don’t want to filter out all of these emotions. They are helpful markers that tell us that something’s wrong and we need to do something about it. The trick is to know which feelings to share when, and how to do it in a way that fosters connection and collective well-being.

A powerful and positive emotional reality is supported by strong bonds among and between people. We often need to challenge ourselves to enter into relationships with our teammates that are more personal, caring, authentic, and intense than is common in most workplaces. This is scary for many people. But if you think about it, we already have very personal relationships at work. We just pretend we don’t. Or, our relationships are charged and intense, but they are negative. We shy away from feelings that connect us—the kind of feelings that can make the emotional reality of our team more positive.

These shifts in your mindset and behavior can have an almost immediate impact on how it feels at work and can ultimately change the emotional reality of your team for the better. You can further build resonance by committing to a shared purpose—one that everyone on the team finds meaningful and compelling.

Seek Common Purpose

One of the most important pillars of a resonant microculture is a noble purpose borne of shared values and the desire to make a difference together. To create a shared purpose, we need to be clear about our own individual beliefs, our cherished principles, and our ethical code.

Next we need to find common ground. One way to do this is to look to the values that people the world over hold in highest esteem: justice, love, compassion, forgiveness, integrity, honesty, freedom, and wisdom, to name just a few. We can also look to the values our organizations uphold—values that we believe are noble and good and will help people strive to be their best selves. Almost all organizations have values that we can buy into—ones that make us proud to work at our company. True, most organizations are not perfect when it comes to acting on these values. We can, however, choose to adopt and live these values on our team.

We all come to work with different values and beliefs as a result of our different nationalities, religions, upbringing, and work experiences. So, people on our teams have personal values that matter to them—values that may not be understood or shared by everyone. Navigating this is not easy. It takes courage and emotional intelligence to have conversations that will result in shared purpose, but it’s worth the effort. That’s because these conversations help us discover common ground and foster stronger bonds among and between people.

A clearly articulated shared purpose enables us to focus our attention on something that matters to us, something we find meaningful. This is where walking the talk comes in. To bring shared purpose alive, we can help one another to do the things we love at work—things that make work feel like a calling. We can also make a point to appreciate one another for making a difference and celebrate successes.

A shared purpose is a powerful driving force in teams and a key aspect of your team’s resonant microculture. So, too, is a vision of the future that inspires and motivates everyone.

Nurture Hope and Your Team’s Shared Vision

Like shared purpose, hope is a pillar of a resonant microculture. The elements of hope—an optimistic vision of the future, plans for getting there, and the belief that we have the power to make it happen—are key to happiness and to our team’s effectiveness. A clear picture of the future helps us to plan what we need to do and how to do it as a group. With a shared vision, we are emboldened to set noble goals that inspire us to challenge ourselves beyond what we thought possible.

Hope and a shared vision helps us to be effective as a team, to achieve and to excel. When we succeed or even face challenges together, we feel connected, committed, and inspired to give generously for the benefit of the group. When we know where we are going, roles become clearer, it is easier to see how to organize work processes and prioritize tasks, and we are willing to work hard together. Finally, shared hope helps us to feel stronger than we would alone and empowered to reach for our dreams.

To bring hope and a shared vision to your team, it’s important to cultivate optimism, confidence, and adaptability. You can set the expectation that you will remain calm in the face of difficulties, be patient, and delay gratification.⁸ These are examples of norms that support hope and shared vision on your team. There’s more: to create and sustain a resonant microculture on your team, it is important for everyone to adopt norms that are grounded in emotional intelligence.

Commit to Emotionally Intelligent Team Norms

Emotional intelligence supports each of us to understand ourselves, what we care about, and our hopes for the future. Emotional intelligence also guides us in how we work together—how we create friendly, positive, and productive relationships.

Throughout this book, you have read stories of people who understand the power of purpose, hope, and friendships at work. All of these people also worked to create a resonant microculture in their workplaces. Here are some of the emotionally intelligent norms I’ve seen them foster on their teams:

• Seek to understand each other’s viewpoints and feelings.
• Actively care for people.
• Respect and accept people for who they are.
• Connect with people around higher purpose and dreams.
• Engage in open, honest dialogue.
• Don’t shy away from conflict, but don’t harm people or relationships.
• Be reliable and consistent to build trust.
• Take the lead and also be a good follower.
• Celebrate success.

Emotionally intelligent teams also adopt norms that support a sense of belonging. One way to do this is to create a shared language—special ways of describing your work, your values, and your goals. Another way is to create team traditions and rituals—ways of celebrating success, for example, or things you always do to mark special occasions. You can also make it a habit to share playful times and fun. Sometimes the simple things matter most: talk with one another, not at one another; get to know each other personally; find something to care about and love in everyone.

These emotionally intelligent norms, along with shared purpose and a hopeful, shared vision, are key to your team’s resonant microculture. By committing personally to taking responsibility for the culture and emotional reality of your team, your team can become a place where people can be effective and happy at work.

On the Road to Happiness

Life is too short to be unhappy at work. So, it’s time to put into practice what you’ve learned. You can now liberate yourself from old-fashioned and flat-out wrong dictates about the nature of work. You can also free yourself from the happiness traps that keep you miserable: misplaced ambition, assuming money will make you happy, feeling helpless, and trying to do what others think you should do, rather than what you truly want. You can even begin to heal from the wounds of stress and overwork to make changes in your life and at work.

In place of these dangerous traps and old myths, you can choose to believe you have the right to be happy at work. This is where the journey begins, where you find and live your purpose, focusing passionately on your future, and building great friendships with your colleagues, bosses, and direct reports.

Happiness at Work: A Manifesto

• Be authentically yourself and celebrate others for who they are.
• Live the virtues and values that support purpose, hope, and friendships.
• Attend to and honor your feelings. Nurture positivity and optimism. Honor the pain of failure. Then, hold on to hope and rise.
• Celebrate and suffer together.
• Be calm.
• Be brave. Speak up to power so you can put purpose first and follow your dreams.
• Fight oppression. Insist on justice. Foster humane and enlivening working conditions. Protect yourself and others from dysfunction and toxic cultures.
• Break the rules about overwork; just don’t do it anymore. Simplify everything you do. Work smart. Renew yourself through mindfulness practices, relationships, and joy.
• Be compassionate with yourself and others.
• Love yourself and find something to love and honor in everyone.
• Have fun.