INDEX
Achor, Shawn, 20
agency thinking, 100
ambition, as happiness trap, 30, 34–35
amygdala hijack (emotional response), 91, 92, 107, 174
anxiety disorders, 161
Barsade, Sigal, 125
Becoming a Resonant Leader (Goleman, Boyatzis, and McKee), 209n
belonging, sense of
companionate love and, 127
importance of, 128
work relationships and, 130–131
Blakely, Sara, 97
body image, and eating disorders, 88, 221n
boiling frog syndrome, 157
building relationship with, 147–148
employees’ adulation of, 144–145
making an honest assessment of current situation with, 178–179
negative relationship with, 143–144
Boswell, Gina, 87–90, 97–98, 106, 111
bottom-up thinking, 101
Boyatzis, Richard, 17, 18, 162, 180, 191, 209n, 213n, 217n, 232n
BP, and Deepwater Horizon disaster, 75–76
brain
contagious emotional responses and, 19, 193, 216
daily reflections and, 113
emotional responses in, 91, 159–160, 226n, 228n, 229n
hope and chemistry of, 91–92, 221n
impact of positive emotions on, 18, 58, 109
mindfulness practices and, 166–167
Browne, Colin, 62
burnout, and stress, 161
calling
reflective exercise for discovering, 84–86
Cambodia, and guide’s story as example of purpose, 53–56
Carmichael, Sarah Green, 31–32
carpentry, as a calling, 62
change
intentional, 181
leading from values during, 63–66
organizational, 25, 26, 29, 209n, 213n
choices
reflective exercise for exploring, 21–22
Circles of Life exercise, 114–115
attitudes about meaningful work held by, 57, 217n
compartmentalization of life and work in, 57
organizational change in, 25, 26, 29, 63–66, 209n, 213n
purpose and mission of, 75–76, 220n
purpose and values of, 71–72, 83–84
companionate love
performance related to, 125, 225n
work relationships with, 125–127
compassion
friendships and, 150
leading from values and, 65
reflective exercise on moving toward happiness and, 185
competitiveness
goal achievement and, 112
stress from, 160
toxic organizational cultures with, 189
conformity, workplace pressures for, 39, 132
contagious nature of emotions, 19, 146, 193, 216n, 232n
courage
arriving at shared purpose using, 195
finding meaning in work and, 58
hope and, in risk taking, 92
leading from personal values and, 63, 69–70
reflective exercise for exploring, 51–52
self-management and, 49
taking control of a negative situation using, 43, 44
covering, 132
creativity
emotions’ impact on, 12, 17, 18, 217n
organization’s culture and, 188, 189
passion for a cause and, 58
pessimism and limits on, 107, 172
teams and, 14
workplace conformity inhibiting, 39, 132
culture
organizational (see organizational culture)
pessimism in, 107
David, Susan, 169
Deepwater Horizon disaster, 75–76
depression, 93, 124, 128, 146, 161, 174
Deskovich, Nikki, 69–70, 71, 72, 73
Dillon, Karen, 147
Duliga, Janet, 117–118, 123, 137–138
Easterbrook, Gregg, 107
eating disorders, and body image, 88, 221n
effectiveness
emotional intelligence (EI) and, 18, 19, 47, 192, 209n
emotions’ effect on, 210n, 211n, 213n
experimenting with new processes for, 78
happiness at work and, 13
hope and, 196
hypercompetitiveness and, 36
organization’s culture and, 189
overwork versus, 32
relationships at work and, 122, 140
sacrifice syndrome and lack of, 18
shared vision of teams and, 196
sleep’s impact on, 214n
efficiency
experimenting with new processes for, 78
emotional intelligence (EI), 6–8, 46–50, 209n
competencies in, 47, 209n, 215n
emotional self-control and, 7, 48–39
empathy and, 7
happiness at work linked to, 2, 6–7
happiness traps approaches using, 44–45, 46–47
reflective exercises and (see reflective exercises)
relationships and, 47, 49–50, 80
social awareness and relationship management and, 49–50
stress management using, 166–167
ways to activate, 18–19, 44–45, 67, 94–95, 126–127, 166–167
emotional reality, of teams, 193–194
emotional self-awareness
emotional intelligence (EI) and, 6, 7, 47–48
as stage on journey to happiness at work, 173
emotional self-control
emotional intelligence (EI) and, 7, 48–49
making right decisions about work and, 174–175
self-awareness of unhappiness at work and need for, 173
self-management using, 7, 48–49
as stage on journey to happiness at work, 174–175
stress management and, 166–167
top-down thinking and, 101
emotional wake-up calls to stress, 167–168
emotions
contagious nature of, 19, 146, 193, 216n, 232n
control of (see emotional self-control)
emotional intelligence approaches to dealing with, 18–19
happiness at work and, 20
impact on others of, 19
impacts on reason, creativity, and intelligence of, 225n
myth on lack of importance of, 26–27
purposeful, meaningful engagement and, 58
success and, 17
top-down versus bottom-up thinking and, 101
unhappiness at work and, 12
wake-up calls to stress involving, 167–168
empathy
building friendships around tasks using, 7, 149–150
emotional intelligence (EI) and, 7
happiness at work and, 16
social awareness and, 49
team microculture and, 7
understanding bosses and, 147
understanding friendships and, 126–127
advertising campaigns for women and, 88
meaning in work and, 58
organizational culture and, 188
team member relationships and, 65
family
cultural rules on work and, 37
love of, 124
wake-up calls to stress and, 168–169
focus, and self-management, 49
forgiveness, in relationships, 150
Frankl, Victor, 3
friendships at work. See relationships with coworkers
fun
organizational culture supporting, 188
relationships at work and, 118, 120, 123, 137–138
stress and overwork affecting, 160, 164
team microculture and, 15, 192, 197
Gallo, Amy, 135
Gates, Bill, 97
generosity
reflective exercise on, 152–153
work friendships with, 134–137, 138
givers, in work relationships, 134, 136, 141
GlaxoSmithKline (GSK), 73–75, 77
goals
benefits and liabilities of, 111–112, 223n
for finding meaning at work, 81–82
hope and, 92
optimism and pessimism in achieving, 107
organizational cultures and, 111–112, 189, 191
relationships supporting, 82
shared language on teams for, 196, 197
top-down thinking and willpower and, 101
work as career and, 60
Goleman, Daniel, 17, 101, 191, 209n, 210n, 212n, 213n, 215n
Grant, Adam, 134
gratitude practices, 112–113, 175, 223n
happiness
generosity and, 134
love related to, 124
philosophical and religious traditions on, 211n
political stances on, 212n
belief about success needed before, 19–20
emotional intelligence (EI) and, 6–8
engagement and, 214n
example of successful project and, 13–15
first step as accepting that employees deserve happiness, 16
four stages of journey to, 172–181
happiness in personal lives and, 3
hope and optimism needed for, 4–5
impact of unhappiness at work, 11–12
importance of, to workplace, 2, 17
leadership and organizational health and, 212n
liking what you do and, 176
performance related to, 13, 20
personal vision and view of future and, 2, 4, 5, 16
personal ways of defining, 21
reflective exercise for exploring, 21–22
reflective exercise for making change to, 181–185
relationships with coworkers and, 2, 5, 16, 125
success resulting from, 3, 13, 20
team microculture and, 187–199
wake-up calls about loss of, 159
emotional intelligence approaches to dealing with, 44–45, 46–47, 50
Harvard Grant Study, 124, 225n
health
Circles of Life exercise and, 114
emotional self-control and, 174
hope and, 89
mindfulness practices and, 230n
overwork and, 32
personal vision including, 98, 181
positive attitude and optimism and, 20, 93, 108
stress’s impact on, 128, 130, 164, 165–166, 226n, 228n
Hinds, Pamela, 139
action plan exercise for, 115–116
brain chemistry and, 221n
Circle of Life exercise and, 114–115
consequences of shortchanging dreams and, 105–106
description of how it works, 90–92
elements of, 97
emotional intelligence (EI) and, 5–6
example of changing world and, 102–105
gratitude practices and, 112–113, 223n
happiness at work and need for, 4–5, 50, 90
optimism focus to cultivate, 107–109
personal vision and, 97–99, 109–112
physiological response to, 91–92
plans and pathways thinking and, 97, 99–100
positive memories sparking, 94–96
reflective exercises on, 94–95, 114–116
research on, 221n
resonant environment and sharing of, 113
self-management and, 7
South African democracy struggle as example of, 102–104
as starting point for creating future, 89–90
team microculture with, 196
Huffington, Arianna, 31, 161, 214n
intelligence
emotional (see emotional intelligence)
happiness at work and, 20
impact of emotions on, 217n
passion for a cause and, 58
intentional change, 181
job, work seen as, 59
job change
four stages of journey to happiness at work and, 172–181
reflective exercise on, 181–185
wake-up calls to stress resulting in, 170–171, 172
job choice, and “should” trap, 39–41
knowledge revolution, 29
laughter
relationships at work and, 118, 120, 137–138, 235n
leadership practices
emotional intelligence (EI) and, 209n
importance of happiness at work and, 3
leading from values and, 63–67
research on factors affecting, 213n
learning goals
learning plan, 183
limbic brain, emotional response in, 91, 174
love, and work relationships, 124–126
Major Cities Chiefs Association, 177
managers
feedback from, 182
overworking by, 32
space for workers’ voices and, 64
success as goal achievement and, 112
work relationships with, 142–148
Man’s Search for Meaning (Frankl), 3
McCord-Amasis, Mark, 73–75, 77
meaning
in day-to-day lives, 3
in work, importance of finding, 17, 57–58, 63, 68, 73, 77, 80, 81, 177, 220n
meaningful relationships, 137, 140, 143–144, 187
meaningful work
companies’ attitudes toward, 57, 217n
compartmentalization of life and work in, 57
creating things that last and, 77–78
engagement and, 214n
expectations for performing, 24
finding meaning in, 17, 57–58, 63, 68, 73, 77, 80, 81, 177, 220n
goals and big dream and, 111, 112
organizational culture problems and, 193
organization’s vision and, 110
personal values and, 82
positive emotions from, 58
responsibility of organizations and leaders for, 217n
rewards from doing, 78
self-awareness and, 6
memories
choosing to view through positive or negative lens, 96
gratitude practices and, 113
optimism sparked by, 94–96, 108, 175
reflective exercise for building, 94–95
mental health issues
compassionate response to, 146
dealing with setbacks from, 155–156
emotional self-control and, 174
employees’ feelings about need to hide, 132
lack of sleep and stress and, 161
reactions to, at work, 146
seeking treatment for, 146, 174
stress’s impact on, 128, 161, 226n
mercenary relationships, 135
mindful practice, 230n
emotional intelligence and leadership effectiveness and, 232n
steps for starting daily practice of, 166–167
stress management using, 166–167
mindful practice exercises
action plan for achieving dreams, 115–116
breaking free from happiness traps and destructive mindsets, 50–51
Circles of Life exercise, 114–115
crafting a personal vision for work and life, 181–182
creating a learning plan, 183–184
defining happiness, 21
discovering your calling, 84–86
examining work rules around friendships, 151–152
finding people who want to help, 184–185
generosity in friendships, 152–153
practicing new ways of approaching work, 185–186
seeing the truth of today, 182–183
self-awareness and choice, 21–22
self-awareness, self-management, and courage, 51–52
understanding organization’s values, 83–84
understanding personal values, 67
mission
personal vision and, 13
money beliefs, as happiness trap, 30, 32–34
motivation
empathy and, 7
external rewards and, 68
extrinsic versus intrinsic, 219n
meaningful engagement in work and, 58
personal vision and, 90
progress toward goals and, 111
self-awareness and, 6
shared purpose of teams and, 14, 196
theories of, 219n
work as a calling and, 61
work as a career and, 60
work as a job and, 59
Mwelwa, Edward, 216n
approaches to treating workers and, 27–28
emotional intelligence approaches to dealing with, 44–45
need to evaluate and change old beliefs about, 28–30
physically demanding aspects of work and, 25–26
psychological needs of employees and, 26–27
National Alliance on Mental Illness, 146
networking, 135
neuroscience of emotion, 13, 17, 213n, 216n, 217n
norms, in team microculture, 197–198
Nowlin, Dan, 117
O’Neill, Olivia, 125
optimism
banishing pessimism and, 107–108, 175
benefits of, 93
as component of hope, 92–96, 107–109, 222n
learning, 93
positive memories sparking, 94–96
reflective exercises on, 94–95, 114–116
organizational culture
importance of happiness at work and, 3
making an honest assessment of current situation at, 179
research on factors affecting, 213n
“shoulds” and “should nots” rules in, 37–41
Sunglass Hut example of, 117–119
work rules around friendships and, 151–152
organizational mission
personal vision and, 13
organizational vision. See also shared vision
personal hope and dreams and, 4–5
overconnectivity, 31
efficiency approaches and, 28
first step out of, 32
happiness at work as antidote to, 198, 199
happiness trap involving, 30–32
social awareness of expectations for, 49–50
passive-aggressive people, 141–142
Peirez, Josh, 64–67, 68, 72, 73
performance
companionate love related to, 125, 225n
goals for, 81
happiness at work related to, 13, 20
problems with bosses and, 143
personal values
building relationships using, 80–81
conditions for meeting, 111–112
fixing problems at work and, 79–80
job crafting by acting on, 63
mismatch between company’s values and, 71–72
reflective exercise for understanding, 67
self-awareness and, 6
social awareness in workplace and expressing, 71–73
stress from threats to, 162
universal values compared with, 72
work as a calling based on, 63
personal vision
emotional intelligence (EI) and, 7–8
happiness at work and, 5
reflective exercise for crafting, 181–182
self-management and, 7
top-down thinking and willpower and, 101
pessimism, 222n
optimism and banishing, 107–108, 175
Pfeffer, Jeffrey, 57
phone use, and overwork, 31, 32
physical demands of work, 25–26
physical reactions
physical wake-up calls, 165–166
positivity and positive attitudes
emotional reality of teams and, 194
hope and, 105
impact on others of, 19
leadership and organizational health and, 212n
memories viewed through, 96
as stage on journey to happiness at work, 175
positive psychology, 13, 17, 213n, 221n
Primal Leadership (Goleman, Boyatzis, and McKee), 191, 209n, 213n, 217n, 232n
psychological needs of employees, 26–27
Cambodian guide’s story as example of work and, 53–56
discovering your calling and, 84–86
emotional intelligence (EI) and, 5–6
finding meaning in work and, 57–58
happiness at work and, 2, 3–4, 16
leading from values and, 63–67
making, creating, and innovating to discover, 77–78
meaningful work and, 55, 82, 195–196
motivation from within and, 68–73
organization’s values and, 83–84
positive impact and, 73–75, 82–83
reflective exercise for exploring, 82–86
reflective exercise for understanding values and, 67
resonant relationships and, 80–81
rewards at work and, 78
self-awareness and, 6
team microculture and, 195–196
team success and, 14
ways of seeing work and sense of, 59–63
Ramachandran, Vilayanur, 216n
reflective exercises, 8
action plan for achieving dreams, 115–116
breaking free from happiness traps and destructive mindsets, 50–51
Circles of Life exercise, 114–115
crafting a personal vision for work and life, 181–182
creating a learning plan, 183–184
defining happiness, 21
discovering your calling, 84–86
examining work rules around friendships, 151–152
finding people who want to help, 184–185
generosity in friendships, 152–153
practicing new ways of approaching work, 185–186
seeing the truth of today, 182–183
self-awareness and choice, 21–22
self-awareness, self-management, and courage, 51–52
understanding organization’s values, 83–84
understanding personal values, 67
Reimers, Candice, 13–15, 128–130
relationship management, in emotional intelligence (EI), 47, 49–50
relationships with coworkers, 117–153
belonging to a tribe at work and, 128–131
covering and conformity pressures in, 132
creating more and better friendships in, 148–150
discovering your calling and, 85–86
emotional intelligence (EI) and, 5–6, 8, 47, 49–50, 80
examining work rules around, 151–152
forgiveness and compassion supporting, 150
generosity and, 134–137, 152–153
happiness at work and, 2, 5, 16
job crafting and, 63
leading from values and, 64–65
learning goals and support from, 82
making and taking time for, 148–149
mental health issues and, 146
mercenary relationships and, 135
passive-aggressive people and, 141–142
people to steer clear of in, 140–142
reflective exercises on, 126–127, 151–153
reflective exercise on finding helpers and supports among, 183–184
success linked to, 121–123, 124
Sunglass Hut example of, 117–119
trust and, 122, 131–134, 137, 149
virtual working conditions affecting, 139–140
wake-up calls to stress and, 168–169
resonant cultures, 232n
resonant leadership, 2, 191–192, 209n
Resonant Leadership (Goleman, Boyatzis, and McKee), 209n
resonant relationships, 80, 220n
rewards
motivation and, 68
overworking and, 31
work as a career and, 60
work as a job and, 59
sacrifice syndrome, 18
schedules
making time for friendships in, 149
reflective exercise on moving toward happiness and revising, 184–185
self-awareness
emotional intelligence (EI) and, 6, 7, 47–48
reflective exercises for exploring, 21–22, 51–52
as stage to happiness at work, 173
understanding personal values and, 67
work relationships and, 126–127
self-control. See emotional self-control
self-empowerment, and hope, 97, 100–102
self-management
emotional intelligence (EI) and, 7, 47, 48–49
emotional self-control, 7, 48–49
reflective exercise for exploring, 51–52
shared context, in virtual working relationships, 139, 140
shared vision
resonant cultures with, 190
team success and, 14, 192, 196, 198
Sharma, Monica, 216n
sleep
impact of loss of, 160–161, 229n
importance to happiness of, 214n, 229n
overwork and, 164
phone use and, 31
problems with, as physical wake-up call, 166
stress and, 160
sleep deprivation psychosis, 161
Smith, Christie, 132
social awareness
emotional intelligence (EI) and, 47, 49–50
personal values in workplace and, 71–73
recognizing overwork example of, 48–49
social intelligence, 20
South Africa, democracy in, 102–104
bosses and, 144
burnout and, 161
emotional intelligence (EI) and mindfulness of, 166–167
hope and lessening of, 92
mental health and, 161
optimism and handling of, 92–93, 109, 175
physiological response in, 159–160, 228n
relationships as way of dealing with, 124
sacrifice syndrome and, 161–163
sense of belonging and, 128
success
altruism and, 80
belief about happiness resulting from, 19–20
depression’s impact on, 161
differences among people and, 131
emotional intelligence competencies and, 47, 67
emotions and, 17, 20, 27, 210n
empathy and, 7
focus on work and competitiveness and, 36, 215n
goal achievement versus, 112
happiness at work before, 3, 13, 20
meaning and personal values and, 58
organization’s culture and, 189
positive relationships and, 5, 27, 80, 118, 121–123, 124, 151
reframing problems as steps on path to, 109
research on factors affecting, 213n
shared purpose of teams and, 196
team microculture and, 187
ways of celebrating, 197
workplaces and, 29
Sutton, Robert, 57
empathy and, 7
fun and, 137
hope and shared vision and, 196
overworking and, 49
resonant cultures for, 190–191
sense of belonging and, 128–130
shaping emotional reality of, 193–194
taking personal responsibility for, 191–192
teams
example of successful project involving, 13–15
leading from values during change and, 64–65, 66
technology
frequent changes in work environment and, 27, 31
scheduling and better use of, 185
shared context in virtual working relationships and, 139, 140
thinking, top-down versus bottom-up, 101
Thrive (Huffington), 31
time management
friendships and, 149
reflective exercise on moving toward happiness and, 184–185
top-down thinking, 101
trust
being trusted as workers, 27–28
building, 134
teams and, 197
work relationships and, 80, 119, 122, 124, 131–134, 137, 149, 152
Tsenoli, Lechesa, 102–104, 106, 111
unhappiness at work
boiling frog syndrome and, 157
example of long march to, 156–159
seeing work as a job and, 59
wake-up calls about, 159
US Holocaust Memorial Museum, 177
values
organizational, and purpose, 71–72, 83–84
person. See personal values
virtual teams, 149
virtual working relationships, 139–140
commitment to building, 139–140
percentage of, in companies, 139
vision. See organizational vision; personal vision; shared vision
wake-up calls to stress, 165–172
answering and dealing with, 170–172
Wells Fargo, 135
Wigsten, Murray, 176
women
cultural rules governing, 37
eating disorders and body image of, 88, 221n
personal values and advertising campaigns for, 87–89, 106, 111
workplace conformity inhibiting, 132
work. See also meaningful work
approaches to treating workers at, 27–28
Cambodian guide’s story as example of purpose and, 53–56
commonly held myths about, 24–30
compartmentalization of life and, 57
emotional intelligence approaches to dealing with myths about, 44–45
figuring out what you like about, 176–178
importance of finding meaning in, 17, 57–58, 63, 68, 73, 77, 80, 81, 177, 220n
as a job, 59
making an honest assessment of current situation at, 178–181
making a positive impact and, 73–75, 82–83
need to evaluate and change old beliefs about, 28–30
number of employees engaged at, 24, 214n
physically demanding aspects of, 25–26
psychological needs of employees at, 26–27
three ways of experiencing, 59
Wrzesniewski, Amy, 59, 61–62, 218n
Yedavally-Yellayi, Srikala (Kala), 156–159, 162, 170–171
Yoshino, Kenji, 132
Zuckerberg, Mark, 97