NINE
Which Character Codes Get Along and Which Clash?

Choosing Your Relationships in Business and Life

NOW THAT YOU’VE read about each of the Character Codes and learned that you are a Class President, does it mean you should avoid all Activists? Or if you’ve discovered you’re a Cheerleader, does it mean you can’t work with a Scholar?

Not necessarily.

As you learned in Chapter 1, it’s important to be able to identify all the Character Codes. You’ll want to develop relationships with some, and others you’ll prefer to avoid. Personal benefits abound as well, because you’ll learn not to take certain behaviors in others personally and will be more understanding and compassionate about their differences.

Character Codes Connections

In business, these deeper perceptions about which Character Codes get along and which don’t are often useful in identifying your perfect business partner, ideal client, and target market; in resolving human resource conflicts; and in seeking many other creative solutions. Here are the basics to get you started.

The Class President Character Code

The Class President Character Code typically prefers the company of other Class Presidents. Class Presidents need to avoid getting into a competitive relationship or “one-upping” each other. Yet two balanced and supportive Class Presidents can form a dynamic partnership.

Class Presidents often get along well with Cheerleaders because both are fast paced and upbeat. At times the Cheerleader’s lack of follow-through or practice of bouncing from one idea to another irritates the Class President. Conversely, Cheerleaders are often able to get the Class Presidents to loosen up and have more fun.

Class Presidents tend to avoid Actors. Class Presidents often feel that Actors are just too dramatic or apt to blurt out inappropriate things. Actors bring out the more conservative nature of the Class President. Class Presidents in business are wary of the Actor’s hyperbole and may be judgmental. However, an Actor can sometimes get a Class President to take more risks.

Class Presidents appreciate the Scholar’s detached approach, focus on data, and objectivity. The Class President gets irritated with the Scholar’s slower pace and perfectionism when those behaviors get in the way of completing tasks. Class Presidents are more likely to want to outsource tasks versus the Scholars’ preference to micro-manage the details. It can be a good partnership if they each play to their strengths and stay out of each other’s areas of expertise. In this type of union between two task-oriented Character Codes, they often need a third person to help bring forth the humanity, vulnerability, and personal touch. A Class President and Scholar working together may easily become too detached and clinical.

Class Presidents get easily frustrated and impatient with Activists. Class Presidents feel that an Activist moves too slowly, and they perceive indecision in the Activist’s slower style of speech and pauses. These two Character Codes operate at completely different speeds, and everything from physical movement to decision making is night and day for them. Class Presidents often avoid partnerships with Activists. If Class Presidents and Activists understand each other and can accept their differences, it can be a real complementary union, with the Class President handling strategy and the Activist handling the human connection. The Activist can get the Class President to slow down and start feeling.

Class Presidents are quick to judge the Artist’s appearance as quirky or offbeat. It isn’t a typical partnership, but it has its strengths. The two Character Codes run into pacing issues, and each processes information differently. The relationship works best when the Class President sticks to strategy and the Artist handles creativity. A Class President is more interested in a mass-market approach to business, while an Artist prefers a custom or individualized approach. An Artist can encourage a Class President to notice the finer details.

The Cheerleader Character Code

The Cheerleader is often attracted to the Class President Character Code. Cheerleaders like the fact that Class Presidents get things done and manage the details. Cheerleaders love being the source of ideas in a business partnership or relationship, without having to actually run the business. A Cheerleader’s ideal job might be to wine and dine the clients, attract new deals, and dream up ideas. Sometimes Cheerleaders will be put off by the Class President, complaining that Class Presidents are too demanding, too serious, or too blunt. Class Presidents are great at influencing Cheerleaders to be more mindful of the details, customer service, and follow-through.

The Cheerleader loves being around other Cheerleader Character Codes. They feed off each other’s high energy and enthusiasm. When together, they become animated and loud, laugh a lot, and dream of how successful the business will be. They can inspire and motivate one another to see the big picture and global possibilities. They are glass half-full kind of people. What they often miss when together are the details, reality, and step-by-step process for making it happen. They have a lot of fun but don’t necessarily get a lot done. Cheerleaders provide great support for each other because they really understand each other. Cheerleaders are often attracted to Actors. Cheerleaders like the Actor’s high energy, power, and charisma. Actors often expose the Cheerleader’s naiveté because the Cheerleader will believe every exaggerated claim the Actor makes. Some Cheerleaders feel overpowered by Actors; yet others build a loyal friendship. They have to be careful about becoming competitive or fighting for the spotlight, recognition, or acclaim. An Actor is able to draw out a shy Cheerleader. This duo is more likely to take risks or stay out late at the bar after a work meeting.

Cheerleaders are often totally baffled by Scholars. While they may appreciate the Scholar’s knowledge, this appreciation comes only after they can get past the Scholar’s total disregard and lack of interest in fashion. These two operate at completely different paces and do not speak each other’s language: The Cheerleader is all about heart, emotion, energy, and fun, while the Scholar is cerebral, detached, and intellectually methodical. In most work or social settings, these two keep their distance. If they understood one another, a partnership could be formed whereby the Cheerleader handled all the human interaction and acted as the face of the company, leaving the Scholar behind the scenes to manage the operations and details. Ideally, for this arrangement to succeed, they would need a third-party translator or the ability to develop the skills necessary to navigate each other’s differences in language, values, and speed.

Cheerleaders and Activists typically behave in a very polite, respectful manner toward each other. Each operates at a different pace, however. They are both interested in people, but for different reasons: Activists because they want to connect with the client’s humanity and Cheerleaders because gossip is infinitely more interesting than data. Cheerleaders tend to view Activists as too deep or “woo-woo” and won’t agree with all their alternative beliefs. Activists encourage Cheerleaders to dig deeper in work and play. As a partnership, this duo is very expressive and great with people but will struggle to get the details done.

Cheerleaders find Artists intriguing for their fashion sense and unique style. Cheerleaders will often struggle with the Artist’s quirkiness and may feel challenged to find common ground in conversation. Cheerleaders may become frustrated with Artists who nitpick over details and who puzzle over the why behind everything when the Cheerleaders just want to have fun. This duo can create conflict when the Artist feels deeply wounded over a wrongdoing and the Cheerleader wants to just gloss over the details and move on.

The Actor Character Code

The Actor appreciates the Class President’s strategic mind and ability to move fast. Sometimes the Actor may be competitive with or perhaps intimidated by the Class President. If the Class President becomes too emotionally removed or clinical, it irritates the Actor. The Class President may be embarrassed by the Actor’s grandiose behavior. An outraged Class President and an Actor who feels wronged can produce explosive conflicts. This duo is often at its best when leading others—but not when working together in partnership.

The Actor prefers the company of Cheerleaders over many other Character Codes. Actors and Cheerleaders operate at similar speeds, share common interests, and like to have fun. Some Actors will consider the Cheerleader too foolish or softhearted. Conflict can arise over sharing the spotlight or expressing emotions and opinions too hastily. This duo works best when the Actor is allowed to lead and the Cheerleader to follow.

The Actor typically wants to avoid other Actors. In certain business or networking gatherings, you can see them maintain a 12-foot distance between them. They don’t like to share the spotlight, and they see another Actor as competition—sometimes even an enemy. If they can forge a friendship and trust one another, they can become powerful allies—but it takes some effort and negotiations to determine who gets the accolades. In a typical setting, they will be constantly oneupping and trying to outshine each other.

The Actor is typically uninterested in Scholars. Actors find Scholars boring, tame, and slow. Scholars are often afraid of Actors. In this partnership the playing fields are not level. Actors will overpower Scholars and may treat them as subservient—as if they were lackeys. This can lead to escalating resentment and passive-aggressive behavior from the Scholar. These two Character Codes are polar opposites when it comes to speed, language, posture, values, and interests.

The Actor typically considers the Activist too woo-woo and doesn’t understand the Activist’s point of view or share the same beliefs. If the Activist is enamored with the Actor and more acquiescing, the Actor will like having the Activist around. In this scenario, the Actor will just disregard or overlook the Activist’s preferences. It’s tough to get close to an Actor, and so most Activists are unsatisfied in this type of working or personal relationship. It is very common for the Activist to give up power to the Actor in this situation.

The Actor is best matched with the Artist, not only because of the Actor’s preference but because of the Artist’s nonjudgmental nature. The Actor considers the Artist quirky but appreciates the Artist’s style, creativity, and uniqueness. Both Actors and Artists have a driving need for significance; however, the Actor is looking for the spotlight and the Artist is not, and therefore they complement each another. The Actor always seeks to be the center of attention.

The Scholar Character Code

The Scholar appreciates the Class President’s need for certainty because Scholars have that same driving need themselves. Both like things to be done right, but they have very different styles when it comes to pacing and risk tolerance, which can create conflict. The Scholar believes a task done right means done perfectly, whereas the Class President accepts done well and checks the task off the list. The Class President can assist the Scholar in taking more risks, moving more quickly, and letting go of “perfect,” but it will be an uphill battle. These two Character Codes are also known to focus so intently on tasks that they forget to care for themselves. Working together, they need to be careful not to feed each other’s workaholic tendencies.

The Scholar is typically intrigued by the ease with which Cheerleaders operate in the social world, though Scholars often disregard them in the professional realm. Scholars and Cheerleaders are on opposite extremes in many personality traits. A Cheerleader is able to teach a Scholar a great deal about connecting with people, socializing, networking, and making the interpersonal connection necessary to seal the deal. The challenge lies in getting these two Character Codes to connect and speak the same language. If they are able to allow for each other’s differences, they are a dynamic duo where the Cheerleader is the company’s face or front person and the Scholar manages and organizes the details.

The Scholar will typically shy away—or sometimes run—from an Actor. An Actor often projects too much emotion, drama, or energy for the Scholar and that makes the Scholar uncomfortable. Actors can be of great help to Scholars in doing something bold, daring, and outside their comfort zone. That said, it is an unlikely pairing, and most Scholars won’t take the risk.

Scholars are naturally drawn to other Scholars. Even if they don’t share the same interests, they enjoy conversations that showcase each other’s expertise. They move at the same speed, have the same predilection for order, and share the same desire to do things right. In a partnership they also have the same challenges, and so the best solution is to have a business that plays to their strengths as a Scholar or join with a third-party to complement them and participate in the social activities for their company.

When it comes to pacing, Scholars often feel drawn to Activists. However, Scholars may easily wound Activists by questioning their beliefs (which are feeling and intuitive based) by asking for the facts or proof. If they have a shared interest, it can be a great connection, each learning from the other and coming at problems from entirely different perspectives. Where Activists can help Scholars is in becoming more grounded, getting in touch with their body, and connecting to people. The challenge is getting the Scholar interested in these things.

Scholars find Artists intriguing, especially if they are interesting conversationalists on a variety of subjects. Besides other Scholars, the Artist may be one of the few people who will engage the Scholar deeply and will appreciate having someone with whom to discuss topics in which other Character Codes have no interest. The Artist can assist the Scholar in dressing more fashionably and raising the Scholar’s image awareness. The Artist may also challenge the Scholar’s sense of certainty, which would be healthy but quite a stretch. The two lean toward spending most of their time in their heads, often getting lost in circular thought patterns.

The Activist Character Code

The Activist finds the Class President demanding and a little intimidating. On one extreme, the Activist views the Class President as bossy, rude, insensitive, and emotionally disconnected. On the other, an Activist may appreciate the Class President’s know-how and strategic mindset. These two Character Codes have plenty to argue about when it comes to speed, process, and decision making. They can create a complementary partnership when they understand and learn to appreciate each other. A Class President can encourage an Activist to embrace change and to follow through and complete projects. The Activist can teach the Class President to connect, slow down, and enjoy the moment. Without empathy and understanding, Activists and Class Presidents typically avoid each other in social or work settings and would likely have strong opinions or judgments about each other.

The Activist often enjoys the company of Cheerleaders. Activists like the Cheerleader’s friendly dialogue and easygoing nature and often admire the Cheerleader’s adeptness in social situations. Sometimes the Activist will find the Cheerleader too shallow, or the interests of the two will vary. And their pacing is different. However, they both love people. When they understand each other’s strengths and challenges, they are able to form a successful partnership.

Activists typically shy away from Actors. They don’t understand the Actor’s bold behavior, and they think the Actor is always vying to be the center of attention. Many Activists will feel unappreciated or even hurt by the Actor, who is prone to make derogatory or sarcastic remarks about some belief held by the Activist. These two Character Codes avoid one another and do not move in the same business or social circles. Occasionally, some Activists will be enamored with an Actor’s persona and follow the person like a groupie. Yet it is almost always an unequal relationship and not a healthy dynamic.

The Activist gets along with many Scholars—if they aren’t too dogmatic. These two move at a similar pace, and both feel strongly about their passion of choice. Conflict arises when the Activist makes a decision based more on feelings and intuition, which the Scholar diminishes by asking for the evidence. With mutual respect, it can be a complementary partnership, the Activist connecting with people and the Scholar handling the data. The Activist avoids the Scholar if the latter behaves in a derisive manner or belittles the Activist’s beliefs. This duo leans toward safe, calm, and very tame partnerships. As partners, they are even more dynamic when there is an infusion of energy from another Character Code.

The Activist feels most at home in a room filled with other Activists. These are their people, deep feeling, passionate about a cause, willing to take the time to converse and really connect. In these relationships there can be a lot of support and safety to express any belief that others may deem unusual. However, there is also an expectation for a certain set of political, business, and ecological beliefs. Two Activists in a partnership will have the greatest chance of success when they partner with or receive advice from a third party that is detail oriented.

The Activist gets along well with the Artist Character Code. The Activist appreciates the Artist’s unique take on life, strong opinions, and support for the underdog. Conflict may arise between these two when each is passionate about opposing causes. When they are on the same page, they make for a strong union or partnership and can be very supportive. Artists can encourage Activists to step out of their comfort zone of community and take a stand as an individual.

The Artist Character Code

The Artist is often drawn to the decisive and confident nature of the Class President. The Artist admires the way the Class President moves in the world and is able to handle a variety of situations. Conflict arises when the Class President rapid-fires potential solutions to a problem the Artist voices without allowing the Artist an opportunity to come up with a solution. This has the effect of making the Artist feel incompetent, even though the Class President is just offering his or her best help, without realizing the Artist just needs to be heard. Yet this is a powerful union when they both play to their strengths, allowing the Class President to be strategic and the Artist to be creative.

The Artist appreciates that the Cheerleader likes things aesthetically pleasing, even though their tastes may be quite different. This can be a great combination socially because the Cheerleader moves through crowds and makes connections with ease, whereas the Artist may initially feel somewhat uncomfortable or shy. Once a connection is made, the Artist is freed up to initiate the deeper conversation. These two can be an effective team in working a room. Discord might arise over their differences in handling conflict; the Cheerleader prefers to make light of a situation or dance around it, but the Artist feels the slights and wounds more deeply and may tend to withdraw. A Cheerleader can be great at helping an Artist dispel those feelings.

The Artist Character Code is the most tolerant of the Actor’s grandiose behavior. The Artist understands the Actor’s need for significance and often appreciates the Actor’s talents. The Artist is not only willing but often desirous of surrendering the spotlight to the Actor. Conflict may arise when the Actor doesn’t feed the Artist’s own need for significance or give the Artist private recognition, kudos, or respect. When Artists and Actors share mutual respect and make allowances for one another, they are a strong duo. Actors can help bring Artists out of hiding and expose them to new people, fun, and adventure. Even so, their pacing is very different, and the Artist may need to retreat for some recovery time alone.

The Artist finds the Scholar’s dry and offbeat humor very amusing. Artists are often confused by the Scholar’s driving need for certainty, but once it’s explained, they understand where the Scholar is coming from. Artists and Scholars are able to engage in a deep conversation on a topic both find stimulating, but one that would confuse or disinterest others. One such example recently overheard was a conversation between a Scholar and an Artist about bees, the production of honey, and the impact on local produce. Scholars can provide structure and data for an Artist but are unlikely to nurture the Artist’s driving need for significance.

Artists have an easy time connecting with most Activists. They share some key character traits, their pacing is similar, and they both will take the time to engage in conversation. The Artist appreciates the Activist’s need for connection and enjoys hearing about the Activist’s beliefs, interests, and passions. Conflict arises if the Activist takes a hard stance in one political corner and the Artist is in another. An Activist can help an Artist be sociable and bridge that initial barrier when connecting with others.

Artists relish the company of other Artists. They respect each other’s unique point of view and understand the creative process. This may be an “anything goes” relationship with very little room for judgment. In a partnership it can be a great matchup, but it runs into the problem of their having the same strengths and same challenges. It is helpful if each focuses on specific projects and creative elements or if one is more task oriented than the other.

Want a list of the best business or client matchups for you? Download the resource “Shortcut to the Best Character Code Matchups” at http://charactercode.com/matchup.

Combo Character Codes

Can you be more than just one Character Code? That’s the question I get asked most often, and the answer is yes, absolutely. You may have some of each Character Code in you; however, there will always be one or a combination of two that will most represent the dominant aspect of your personality.

Any combination is possible. It is the combination of dominant and recessive aspects that makes each of us unique. For example, two women who are related and have Class President–Cheerleader traits are similar but not exactly alike. One has a dominant Class President, while the other has a dominant Cheerleader. And of course, even though they are related, they still have unique life experiences that impact who they are, how they perceive the world, and what they do.

Some combinations are less common, such as a Cheerleader-Scholar. Individuals with this combination often feel like they whiplash between their desire to have it all in order, do it right, and make it fun. The Class President–Activist is also a less frequent blending, with an interesting mix of wanting to take the time to connect and nurture versus feeling the need to get things done.

When determining if people are composed of more than one Character Code, you can assess them by evaluating their driving need and their psyche. Do they demonstrate a clear mix of two Character Code behaviors? You can also see this expressed in their appearance, presentation, and speaking style. For example, is the person in front of you dressed like a Class President but also is wearing flower jewelry, has a wavy hairdo, and smiles a lot? Does she focus intently in a conversation and then get distracted and bounce off to the next person? Does she ask you to “get to the point” but also takes the time to enjoy a good laugh with you? If yes, looks like you just met a Class President–Cheerleader Character Code combo.

That said, typically one Character Code dominates. The quickest way to tell is by determining which driving need is predominantly displayed. Using the example above, if this woman leaned more toward Class President traits, it means that although she values certainty and variety, she cares the most about certainty. So in a business deal or client interaction, make sure you serve the need for certainty first and foremost. But if you also serve her need for variety, you will have a very happy client.

Remember that the four driving needs are things we all want and value—but based on our dominant Character Code, only one driving need will exert the greatest influence in our decision making. That need is very powerful. When you know yours, you can look back over your life and see how often it directed your behavior in work, education, relationships—often without your awareness of its power over you. That need represents your dominant Character Code, and any others are of lesser influence.

Some people want to know exactly what percentage they are of one Character Code or another, and we can test for that. However, I think there is little need to make it complicated. You can see how people show up and what behaviors they express, allowing you to quickly determine if they are more of one Character Code than another. The point isn’t to put someone in a box or turn a natural evaluation into a checklist. The ultimate goal is to use the Character Codes as a tool for understanding self and others.

The Four Most Common Character Code Combinations

There are four combinations that are common. You will see them everywhere you go. They are:

The Class President–Cheerleader

The Cheerleader-Activist

The Activist-Scholar

The Scholar–Class President

The Class President–Cheerleader Combination

The Class President–Cheerleader combination is a risk taker. People in this category are decisive, move fast, have a big vision, and can outline the steps it takes to accomplish it. They have a high tolerance for stress, pressure, and pace. They often grow quickly and excel as leaders. You will find many of these combinations in sales, speaking, and executive roles. They often have the ambition and drive to head up large organizations. They need to be mindful of growing too fast, taking on too many tasks or roles, or assuming too much risk. They often struggle with issues of delegation, leverage, and scalability.

The Cheerleader-Activist Combination

The Cheerleader–Activist is a people person. Individuals in this category struggle the most with tasks and details. They often have a big vision, many ideas, and dreams to make a difference in the world. They are typically very kind, deep-feeling people motivated by serving and not sales. Their challenges often include managing money, being able to say no, managing time, and finding their own voice. With the combination of a driving need for variety and connection, they often start new activities or meet new people and then bounce off to the next group. This doesn’t allow enough time or exposure for an activity or relationship to develop; thus it is difficult for them to create momentum. With support, organization, and focus, they can accomplish great things.

The Activist-Scholar Combination

The Activist-Scholar combination can often be described as the “absent-minded professor.” An easy way to tell whether this combination leans more toward Activist or Scholar is to look at the person’s hair. If the person is a man and his hair tends to be neat with a shorter cut, then he has more Scholar. If his hair tends to look more windblown, unruly, or overgrown, then he has more Activist. This also tells you whether the driving need for connection or certainty is most important to him. Activist-Scholars often want to engage with people and connect over topics they find of interest, and they may converse at length. They tend to be less aware of social graces and sometimes present as awkward or clumsy. When angry, this combination can tend toward being passive-aggressive or holding grudges.

The Class President–Scholar Combination

The Class President–Scholar is not a people person. In this combo Code, people are very task oriented, have a strong driving need for certainty, and want things done the “right” way. They are often removed emotionally and prefer empirical data over experiential perceptions. They are likely to say, “Where is the evidence?” They are often mini-malists, can be rigid in their body stance, and show up wearing tailored clothing with clean lines in neutral or dark colors and feel safest when the rules are followed. They can be very exacting and literal.

A combo Code can express any of the characteristics listed from either of its two Character Codes. I remember a client saying, “I think I only express the negative traits of both of my Character Codes.” We had a laugh about that, and I reassured her that no one is locked into a certain set of positive or negative traits. We are human, and our expressed behavior evolves depending on many factors, such as our current life situation, work environment, and other circumstances. We can always improve our attitude, work on our challenges, and continue to stretch our personal and professional limitations. Access the “Character Codes Combos” chart in color at http://charactercode.com/combos.

Marketing to Combo Character Codes

The four combinations above are common enough that you could select one of them as your ideal client profile. I would not recommend marketing to another Character Code combination because either the pool of candidates isn’t large enough or it would dilute or confuse your marketing message. The four combinations represented are so pervasive in our society that they will recognize themselves in your client attraction efforts and come knocking at your door. I have built different aspects of my business using the combination Character Code profiles and have seen the results every time. Chapter 10 focuses on how to begin marketing to single or combo Character Codes.

It pays to be aware of the relationships described in this chapter. The Character Codes with whom you choose to work or play will impact much of your waking hours. Choose them wisely. Don’t let them drive you crazy. Take a turn looking at life from their perspective.