ELEVEN
Putting the Character Codes in Action
I BELIEVE THAT ONCE you implement what you have learned, knowledge becomes power. Until then, it is just filler for your head. Action is often the missing ingredient that makes the difference between a life half lived and the life of your dreams.
I realize that each of us is in a different situation. You might be a corporate executive in a fast-paced world of deadlines and ever-increasing demands. Perhaps you are an entrepreneur striving to build a business that thrives in the marketplace. You may be reading this for fun, or perhaps because you want to learn how to get over being shy or how to network and attract more clients. Or you might just want to understand why people do the things they do.
What we all have in common is membership in a club known as the “Human Condition.” In this club, our natural brain biology guides us to be comfortable and stay safe. This means that any time we make a change, any time we step out of our comfort zone and take a risk, we are going against our natural biology.
I consider such steps as acts of courage. The size of that first step is different for each one of us. Your first big step may be delivering a five-minute speech in front of an audience. Or it may be gathering your courage to start a multimillion-dollar company.
It is all relative.
What I know to be true is that it’s a stretch and an opportunity for growth every step of the way, no matter what type of person you are.
And the most important thing isn’t the destination as much as it is the journey. But, yes, the destination can be very motivating too!
I find that individuals on this journey are alert, aware, always learning, and always willing to grow. I consider them extraordinary (and ordinary) people from everyday life who have chosen to embark on a heroic journey. I believe that we all have been given an invitation to show up as the hero in our own lives. Some choose to decline this offer, but there are others brave enough to accept. I consider you in this group!
Now that you have learned the Character Code System, I encourage you to use it as a guide that grants you permission to be who you are. Use it to recognize your strengths and talents and to really soar and create the life you truly desire.
Use the “Psyche” section to get yourself out of the box. Stop limiting your potential and put an end to the cycle of destructive self-talk. Beating yourself up about the things you don’t do well is counterproductive. I always view the challenges as an opportunity to invite others in for support, outsource the need, or extend the timeline to complete the challenge.
Taking the Heroic Journey
What’s possible when you embark on your own heroic journey? Just about anything you can imagine you can achieve. You can create the business you’ve always wanted, rise through the corporate ranks, attract endless clients who want what you have to offer, become a philanthropic force in your community, find the love of your life—make it your goal and it is within reach.
I know what it’s like to feel discouraged, where that first tiny step seems like it is a mile long. You read about my struggles in the Introduction. It wasn’t an easy road; however, I’m infinitely grateful that I traveled that path.
Here are the steps I took on my own heroic journey; feel free to use them as you make your journey:
Reclaim Your Value
If you’ve been beaten down by a business failure, a series of unhappy clients, a health crisis, or a failed personal relationship, you may feel like you have lost your way. Go back and reread the chapter for your Character Code. Pay attention to your strengths, your gifts, and your talents. Reclaim your value. Remember exactly who you are. Ask yourself, “Why not me?” Instead of making a case for why you cannot do it, ask, “Who am I not to succeed?”
Keep an Open Mind
People who are feeling stuck can make a really good case for it and list all the reasons why they’re in the situation. It turns out that many of those reasons have nothing to do with them. I remember a point in my struggles when I thought things would never turn around. No matter what idea others suggested, I could shoot it down. Then I had an epiphany: what was I fighting for? The energy I put into arguing why it wouldn’t work could be spent discovering a way to make it work, but that required an open mind. If you are running into your own resistance at every turn, read the inner meanie in the “Psyche” section of your Character Code chapter. Is your resistance valid and something to be mindful of, or is it just an old familiar story you use to hold yourself back?
Invest in Yourself
Many people see the value of spending money on a college education, but they do not understand the need for continuing their education in business. The truth is, every person who was a great success spent time and money investing in professional and personal growth. There are new skills and techniques to learn, training to take, communities of practice to join, networking to do—you name it—the opportunities to better yourself are everywhere, and those people making the effort see the results. I remember when this was a real challenge for me. I wasn’t even making it financially, but I knew that without getting the training I needed, I would never have the tools to create the business I wanted. It was a leap of faith for me, just as it is for anyone who says, “Yes, I’m worth investing in myself.”
Don’t Wait to Be Ready
Some people will get their training and then never get started. Why does that happen? For a variety of reasons, including self-doubt, fear, and one of the most common: thinking they aren’t ready. Waiting to be ready is really an excuse, because you are never ready. Even with the best preparation and training, the unexpected can and will occur. You cannot plan for everything, and a huge part of your learning curve happens in the moment—being in the swift-moving river of action. There is no greater teacher than the real thing—to actually go for it and learn from experience.
Lead with Your Heart
Forget bravado. Forget being cool. Forget hiding. Forget being perfect. One of the things that will make you shine in your heroic journey is being true to who you are: brave, vulnerable, real, human, alive. People love the real you. The old system of faceless professionalism for the sake of client customer care is over. Consumers buy based on emotion, and they love connecting with someone or something that has a life and breath behind it. If you represent a big company or product, they want to know what you stand for. If you are a small-business person or service provider, they want to know that you care. Lead with your heart, boldly state what you desire to create, and watch as others get behind you and support you. That comes from being real and sharing your heart.
Be Fully Committed
If you want to make a change, you need to be fully committed and do whatever it takes. When I find people bailing out too soon, it is typically because they got scared and talked themselves into believing whatever they’d gotten into wasn’t for them; maybe they thought they weren’t good enough or didn’t deserve it. Of course, that is just the inner meanie talking. It is never the voice of truth. The other thing I see happen is that people don’t pick what they really want. They pick something on the shelf below their dream, so that when they fail, it doesn’t really matter—and of course, it always produces exactly that result. They were set up to fail from the start by putting the emphasis on a back-door escape. Why? It wasn’t what they really wanted to do anyway. Get yourself fully committed and just go for the big dream, whatever it is. What is the success you really crave?
Do the Work
There is work involved. I don’t know of any legal activity to build a successful business and life that didn’t involve actual work. It doesn’t mean it has to be hard, but it does take consistent effort. Even the overnight success stories tell you there were years of learning and often failures along the journey until people got it right. If you are struggling because of the work investment necessary to create your business, then go back to the Character Codes and refocus on your strengths. Set up your office environment so you are the most productive and get the most support. Most business ventures boil down to a need to attract more clients or generate more sales. Use the Character Codes to make sure you are reaching the best possible clients and speaking to them in their language. Use your Character Coding as your marketing and sales guide.
Continue Developing Your Process
This isn’t a one-trick dog-and-pony show. If you want to stay current and relevant for your clients, then you must continue learning and improving your methods. Maybe you make your service faster or more cost effective. Maybe you improve the benefits. Maybe you make adjustments based on changes in the current economic climate or the changing needs of your client base. Whatever the reason, you must constantly refine and develop your process so that you are always current with (or ahead of) the marketplace.
Stretch Your Comfort Zone
I experienced rapid growth and success because I was willing to take risks and get uncomfortable. It became my new norm. Comfortable feels great in the moment, but if you spend a lifetime always trying to maintain this state, it becomes a fairly tame existence. It would also make you very inflexible around other people and in new situations. Learning to step outside your comfort zone is the starting point for creating something new and potentially brilliant. It definitely won’t be boring!
Expand Your Vision
What seems like a big, scary goal now will appear easy as you stack up your successes. Then it will be time to expand your vision and allow a new dream to come forth, one that is even bigger than the last one. What is the extent of your true capabilities? You don’t know until you test your limits, and I think you’ll be surprised when you see all that is possible.
* * *
We started this book together by saying “There is nothing wrong with you—or anyone else.” It is my hope that you master Character Coding not only to read a client from across the room, but also to better communicate with people in all areas of your life. Carpe diem, my friends!