203
CHAPTER 18
EVERYTHING’S
NEGOTIABLE
In which we learn that there is much more to
negotiation than simple bargaining
A
s we climb towards the heady heights of negotiating
skills, things start to change. The magic of good nego-
tiating means that both parties can come away happy. It is
like a sort of wonderful synergy where almost unbelievably
everyone gets what they want. But it takes an extremely
skilful negotiator to achieve this. Never fear, it is a skill that
with practice anyone can master. And strangely enough,
once again good old basic selling skills will help us.
My favourite story that has been oft repeated is the tale of
two sisters fighting each other with screams and shouts and
lots of hair pulling. You decide as a skilled negotiator that
you should intercede. You discover that they are fighting
over an orange. In the brilliant book on negotiating, Getting
to Yes, the authors describe the two sides as wishing to divide
a cake. Intuitively we start to divide the cake in percent-
age terms but the writers suggest that both sides could have
everything they wanted (perhaps the whole cake) which
seems impossible. You, as a fair minded person, must decide
CSBK004-18.indd 203CSBK004-18.indd 203 5/21/10 1:35:35 PM5/21/10 1:35:35 PM
IRRESISTIBLE PERSUASION
204
what to do about this punch-up and orange situation. Have
a think; as a fair-minded reasonable person, what would be
the correct thing to do? I usually get one of two replies. The
diplomats thought you should offer to meticulously divide
the orange in half , giving one half to each sister.
She Had Got Him Licked
I want to get on to dirty tricks later in this chapter but I can’t
resist this one because I have a kind of affection for people
who won’t play the game. I have a very pompous relative who
has a very not pompous sister. Their mother despaired at the
constant war over the fair division of the spoils. Cakes were
often an issue and the last cake was a reason to go to war. The
mother was given an elegant solution to outwit the kids. Tell
one to divide the cake and the other can choose – a technique,
I am sure, that can be applied to all division situations.
(There is a similar wage settlement scheme where the
boss puts the offer and the workers put the claim in sealed
envelopes, and the mediator awards to whichever is deemed
the fairest with no compromise to the other party. When
the envelopes are opened it is often the case that the figures
are the same).
In the case of the siblings, the pompous brother got the
job of dividing – which he did meticulously with divid-
ers, a ruler, and other implements of accurate measure-
ment. Without a single atom of difference between the two
halves, the sister was allowed to choose. She picked up each
half in turn, licked the icing on each, then said she didn’t
fancy either now that they had been “mucked about with”
and left, leaving her brother apoplectic with rage – which
was exactly the outcome she had wanted.
Neither Can Have It
The other option for the orange, I hear from the hawks
amongst you, is to take the orange away so that neither of
them can have it. This is a very dangerous option because,
whilst it will unite these violent sisters, it unites them to
CSBK004-18.indd 204CSBK004-18.indd 204 5/21/10 1:35:35 PM5/21/10 1:35:35 PM
EVERYTHING’S NEGOTIABLE
205
want to attack you. So now you have acquired an enemy
you didn’t have before, a situation that peacemaking nations
have discovered to their cost time and time again.
My father, a fluent Russian speaker, used to quote a dour
Russian proverb on this subject which, roughly translated,
stated, “When the squires agree, the peasant gets his arse
kicked!” Therefore the peaceful option seems to be to give
these sisters half of the orange each, but in this story that
is when things get a bit strange. The first sister says, “Oh
yummy, an orange”, throws the peel away and eats the flesh.
The second sister says, “Oh good! I can make my cake now.”
She grates the peel and throws the flesh away.
We could have given each side 100% of what they wanted
but instead we allowed our prejudices and preconceptions to
blind us to the solution. Go back to those cheesy old selling
techniques and see the thoughts on ‘benefits’. They didn’t
want the orange per se, they wanted its benefits. Remember,
“Which means that…”. The sisters wanted different bene-
fits, “which means that I can eat the orange” and “which
means that I can make that cake”.
What we do in simple bargaining is, we UN-benefit
things, and turn benefits into features – which of course is
back to front.
They Just Want to be Happy
We want a successful profitable business. The workers
want happiness, holidays, and a good family life. Those are
benefits but instead of investigating them, we turn it into
a fight over a feature which is money. While money is a
sign of a successful company and money could make the
workers happy, there are other ways of achieving that, and
a dispute can be avoided with careful investigation of the
divider option.
CSBK004-18.indd 205CSBK004-18.indd 205 5/21/10 1:35:35 PM5/21/10 1:35:35 PM
IRRESISTIBLE PERSUASION
206
Fishing with Strawberries
Can I ask, do you like strawberries? You do? That’s wonder-
ful. How about a day’s fishing? Knowing how much you
enjoy strawberries I suggest that we bait the hook with a
strawberry, but of course we know that a fish is more likely
to be attracted to a worm. Again we are being guided by
our prejudice because fish like all sorts of weird things
from sweet corn to spam, but let’s stick to worms for a bit.
Another feature of a worm is, just because we wouldn’t enjoy
eating one, we ignore how much value our subject (the fish)
would enjoy one.
What we always have to consider is the other party’s inter-
ests, not the position that they are adopting. The truth is
that positions are dangerous things. If we don’t consider the
other person’s interest and just try to understand or change
their position, we can find ourselves worse off. Negotiating
contains a lot of the elements of selling in as much as we
must make the proposition to our subject as attractive and
as relevant to their situation as we possibly can – just as we
do if we are trying to sell something. In fact, the persuasion
skills in both negotiating and selling can be interchanged to
great benefit.
They will Believe Their Own Words
Here is a quaint little stunt you can try. Get someone to
pretend they are a customer of your lawn mowers or what-
ever you like. For this role play you want them to tell you
that they have decided not to buy it.
“I have decided not to buy your lawn mower.”
This is the clever bit; you now have a number of choices
of how to react. The most obvious and natural is, “Why
not?”
Bear in mind that this is a fantasy lawn mower, invented
from thin air to satisfy some daft role play. The reaction is
astonishing and you immediately start to generate a posi-
tion in the other party.
“It’s too expensive.”
CSBK004-18.indd 206CSBK004-18.indd 206 5/21/10 1:35:36 PM5/21/10 1:35:36 PM
EVERYTHING’S NEGOTIABLE
207
“Anything else?”
“It’s not very well made.”
“I haven’t got a lawn!”
You never mentioned price, the mower doesn’t actually
exist so how can they attack the quality, and they do have
a lawn. “Why not?” has forced them to create a position,
justify it, and dig in. The fact that it was a fantasy lawn
mower must demonstrate to us that, by probing a position
with the question “Why not”, the other party is provoked
into inventing stuff. So when you get the genuine “I don’t
think we’ll proceed”, don’t provoke things with “Why not”,
and if you already have, don’t believe everything you then
hear.
What can you do? You could try:
“I don’t think we’ll proceed.”
“Oh, I am sorry to hear that. What would we need to do
to get you back on board?”
Interestingly and usefully for us, we can reverse the proc-
ess to create a position that favours us.
“We are considering using your company.”
Again, resist the natural inclination which is to gallop
about shouting, “Yippee! You won’t regret this, we’re
brilliant” accompanied by a lot of hand-rubbing. Instead,
ask, “Oh, I am pleased, why did you choose us?”
At the job interview:
“I am so pleased to be shortlisted for this job. What is it
you saw in me that made you feel I could fill the role?”
They immediately start to invent reasons for their deci-
sion and, as they do, they become more convinced of their
position. When you see two friends arguing over differ-
ently-held beliefs, get them to swap positions and argue
each other’s case – they soon convince themselves. Going
against our own intuition and prejudice is essential. To a
kid who is being bullied, the only thing worse than a sign
on their back saying “Kick me” is one that says “Please don’t
kick me”.
CSBK004-18.indd 207CSBK004-18.indd 207 5/21/10 1:35:36 PM5/21/10 1:35:36 PM
..................Content has been hidden....................
You can't read the all page of ebook, please click here login for view all page.