Winners show up. If you've ever planned a meeting or event, you know how grateful you are when people actually arrive. You remember them. Showing up is the basic step to visibility. You will never be noticed if you're not there, even if it's not always a comfortable place to be. Stepping outside your comfort zone is instrumental to finding your potential.
Think of all the opportunities you have to show up. If you're employed, required meetings and events are part of your job. Everyone has an abundance of association meetings as well as educational and social events of your profession or hobby. Finally, community, church, and school events outside your work or hobby are within your reach. Attending these can help you reach your potential. Don't worry at this point about whether the program topic relates to your needs. You will always learn something or meet a new contact. Chalk it all up to your personal and professional development.
It's easy to talk yourself out of showing up, especially if the event isn't required. If you're a free agent, a telecommuter, or unemployed, it's doubly hard to pull yourself out of the friendly confines of the home or home office. For example, if you're starting a consulting business after years as a salaried employee, you could feel a bit fearful about joining groups where you don't know anybody. But cocooning yourself in your office won't help your business grow. Try to turn your negative self-talk into a positive push out the door.
Seek opportunities to be visible. An old Spanish gypsy proverb states, “The dog that trots about finds a bone.” You have daily, weekly, monthly, and annual opportunities to be noticed and meet others.
Look at your daily to-do list and check to make sure that it includes a nonrequired personal contact, perhaps to check in with a former client or to make a new connection with an old friend. People notice when you do things that aren't mandatory. Who do you know who just got married, had a baby, got a promotion, graduated, or experienced a loss? Take a moment to contact the person in some way. You can send a short note such as these: Thinking of you during a difficult change; Enjoyed your presentation; or Best wishes in your new position. Our friends tell us repeatedly that it's those unexpected contacts that people remember. Attending a family's meaningful event such as an Eagle Scout ceremony or a funeral shows caring, consideration, and opens the door for future contacts.
Check your calendar, giving special attention to any meetings. Confirm the time, date, and location of each with the meeting planner. Priorities change quickly in today's fast-paced environment, so it never hurts to check. Ask what you can bring or what you should do to prepare. Most people won't take this step. It will surprise the meeting planner and give you added visibility.
Plan to attend regular events in your industry or area of interest on a monthly basis. Attend both large and small group events. You reap different rewards from each. One of the smallest networking groups in the Chicago metropolitan area is one of the most powerful. The attendees have fabulous credentials and experience, and one of the few ways to break in to the group is to speak to them. Size doesn't always equal power in the networking world. Monthly industry meetings also provide great opportunities to invite a client as a way to say thanks or to build a relationship with a potential customer. Make it your goal to bring a guest to every other meeting.
On a quarterly basis, write something that will get your name in a byline. It can be very short and simple. You can report on a garden club meeting for your neighborhood newspaper. You can review a new restaurant in the neighborhood for your block newsletter. Get in the habit of sending letters to the editors of your favorite magazines or newspapers. Readers often contact people who write letters to the editor.
You can also send a quarterly update letter to your clients, prospects, or general network. Make it personal. It could be email, but a regularly mailed letter might be a pleasant change for people who are on the Internet all day. Make sure it includes more content and tips for them than it does news about you or your business.
Every few months, attend an event outside your field or interest area. In Japan, some executives are required to have lunch with someone in another industry at least once a month. Paula, a financial consultant, once attended a conference on telemarketing, and, because she was the only financial person there, was able to make a valuable, life-long client contact. She stood out because there was no competition! Jeff, a meeting planner, convinced his widowed father to attend a senior dance at the center near his home. Jeff succeeded and was pleased to see his dad develop an entirely new network of friends based on one night's venture out of his comfort zone. Gary Hoover, the founder of Barnes & Noble, often speaks about how his stores became successful because they stepped outside the traditional bookstore paradigm and offered other services for busy people. Stressing that all successful people are curious, he challenges, “What might happen if a doctor went to a dentist's convention?”[1] He has a point. Be curious.
Consider getting involved in the organizations to which your clients and trusted friends belong. Those meetings can bring you more contacts and keep you well versed in the happenings of their industry. John, an IT professional and part-time speaker, was asked to speak at a large logistics industry conference in the personal development track. He found it interesting that the person chairing that track was not part of the industry directly but an executive recruiter who specialized in placing people in that industry. She belonged to the association to stay visible to the movers and shakers, find new talent, and stay knowledgeable about industry trends and challenges.
Yearly, attend at least one conference in your field. Conferences bring you national and international visibility, which is difficult to get in your office. They also provide valuable relationship-building opportunities. The keynote speeches and breakout sessions are certainly worthwhile, but the real benefit comes from working the hallways. You can usually find the stars of the industry engaged in informal meetings and socializing outside the session room doors. Plan on attending every breakfast, reception, and dinner; you will meet the largest variety of people. Plan your budget so you can travel and attend.
The average person is on time. Winners are early. The winner arrives early for many reasons. If you're presenting at the event, you can review your notes and check the setup so that you can focus on mingling later. You also have a chance to select a good seat. Depending on the room size and the meeting intent, the best seat could be near the door where you can greet and chat with almost everyone who enters. Key information, which often passes before a meeting starts when people aren't on an agenda, could include facts and news items. It could also be impromptu observations of people and events that will really help you understand the politics of the situation.
You can make a positive impression on any group when you act like a host instead of a guest. Even if you don't know a single person, you can still be helpful with directions to the coatroom, restrooms, and food table. Connie, an active meeting-goer in the retail industry, has often been mistaken for the program chair because she always helps other attendees get comfortable and settled at meetings. Superiors notice this kind of personal effort and could ask you to take on a more significant role at the next meeting.
How many times have you yawned at the end of a day and dreaded showing up at the meeting you registered for that evening? Winners take a breath, grab an energizing bar or drink, and go anyway. For example, in the competitive world of acting, beginners learn the value of manufacturing energy early. Spending their days fighting urban traffic to go to back-to-back auditions, “look-sees,” classes, coaching sessions, and agency rounds, actors can often find their energy at low ebb when they need it most. They often have to tell themselves they're wide awake (or talented or beautiful or interesting) to make it through the next round—and the ones who succeed have that energy.
If you show up, show up with energy and the right attitude. Take a deep breath before you open the door, put a positive expression on your face, and walk in with verve. Use your body language to communicate energy. Using your predetermined goals for the event as your “motivation,” walk briskly, smile, make eye contact, extend your hand, and introduce yourself. Before you know it, the yawns are gone.
Susan RoAne, the networking maven, discusses conversation in her book, What Do I Say Next: Talking Your Way to Business and Social Success. She says that most of us try too hard to be perfect, when, in reality, great conversations “start very simply where you establish commonality.”[2] An intriguing gem of a book 1,001 Ways to Improve Your Conversation and Speeches by Herbert Prochnow, published in 1952, quotes Frank McKinney Hubbard, a popular American humorist of the time, “Don't knock the weather; nine-tenths of the people couldn't start a conversation if it didn't change once in a while.”[3]
The wisdom of the 1950s holds true today. It's all right to talk about the changes in the weather. Simple beginnings uncover uncommon conversations. Joe, a middle-age actor, was meeting with his mortgage broker to adjust his mortgage during a recession. He struck up a conversation about what the broker did, and before long, the broker was recommending that the actor try being a loan officer. “It would be a great opportunity for an outgoing person like you with flexible time,” he said. The actor was intrigued and began loan officer training. Simple questions ignited a new career.
When you go to meetings, make a point of talking not only with people you know but also with people you don't know. Don't automatically seat yourself with your best friends; check in briefly with them, but grab a chair next to some people you don't know. Make a point of meeting and talking with three new people each time you go. If you listen and ask lots of questions, they'll remember you as a great conversationalist. You'll probably learn something, too. It never hurts to have a couple of good opening lines ready to go. Comments about the event or location or even a genuine, positive observation about the other person can open the conversation. Listen carefully to his or her response for clues to your next question.
Be prepared to speak the language, whatever it may be. In the United States, for example, Spanish is the second most commonly spoken language; there are about 17.3 million native Spanish speakers. After English and Spanish, French is spoken regularly in U.S. homes (1.7 million) more than any other language. More than a million Americans also regularly speak German, Italian, and Chinese. If you're a globally oriented person, you're used to being surrounded by different languages, and you're probably well equipped to make simple conversation in several of them. Second to knowing a person's name and pronouncing it correctly, being familiar with his or her native language will score many interpersonal points for you. You don't have to be fluent; the basic phrases of travel, dining, and sports will get you started in a conversation. What would you like to drink? Do you enjoy golf? and How was your trip? are some questions that most beginners can learn. Once you've opened the conversation, you can always admit your limitations.
More immigrants are entering the U.S. workforce than ever before. At a Wal-Mart store in the Washington, D.C., metropolitan area, employees are from forty-five countries and speak one hundred languages. In the Chicago, Illinois, public schools, more than sixteen different languages are spoken frequently. The voting instructions for Chicago elections are written in ninety-eight languages. It's becoming more and more evident that language capability is a real strength for anyone wanting to be more visible.
If you are an immigrant, be sure to assess your skills so that you are capable in your new country. If you are a native born-speaker, learning other languages will help you make connections. For example, if you happen to work or volunteer in an industry or area that is primarily Asian, French, Polish, Turkish, or Hispanic, learn the basics of that language. Most major cities have language training schools, and many programs are available on the Web, some for free!
Janet, a homemaker considering full-time work, made some great business connections while brushing up her French at a local French alliance organization. The class she took happened to attract many global businesspeople as well as energetic fans of the country and the cuisine, and they stayed in contact with each other after the class. She went to a cocktail party for all of the students, got a chance to practice French there, and happened to meet the director of the alliance. It was the perfect event, giving her a chance to socialize in French and meet savvy, generous people. The director later donated a class for her school's auction fund-raising event.
Language can either bond you or bar you from inclusion. Judge yourself. Which way do you feel most often? It's your move to increase your chances of being included. No one else can learn the language for you.
Robert Kelley, author of How to Be a Star at Work: Nine Breakthrough Strategies You Need to Succeed,[4] discovered that peer-nominated stars at work were people who knew where to go to get answers. They were admired because they made the whole team look good. How did they know where to go? They knew many people across hierarchies, departments, and locations.
Schmoozing is not a bad thing. You should know the people you work with and stay in contact with former co-workers because they're important resources. A recent University of Cincinnati study of eighty employees and twenty-two supervisors revealed that people who are successful make friends with everyone. They get higher ratings on reviews. They reach out and make contacts with a diverse network of people. One example cited in the study was an upper-level marketing manager with specific ties to the assembly line. According to University of Cincinnati Professor Ajay Mehra, “People who serve as bridges by connecting people tend to outperform those who don't and are therefore seen as more valuable by their supervisors.[5] Most organizations are less hierarchical today and rely more on employees to build bridges to get the job done.
Sandra, who worked as a salesperson at a high-end clothing store, learned a valuable lesson about the importance of talking to everyone. Early in her retail career, she often walked past the women who were not well dressed, assuming they didn't have the money to spend lavishly. Later, however, she saw fellow associates accompany those same women to the register to ring up huge sales. She learned never to make assumptions about anyone.
In your personal life, talking to everybody is also important. You probably know people who are great conversationalists. They seem to be at ease talking to just about anybody—on the phone, in person, at work, and at social events. If you live or work with people like this, it can even be frustrating to have them constantly fraternizing while you're trying to get something done. But it's important to keep in mind that while they're fraternizing, they're building valuable networks.
An old Chinese proverb says, “A single conversation across the table with a wise man is worth a month's study of books.” Here are some things you could use to approach your personal network:
High school selection
Movie passes
Where to find a good loan officer
Vacation rental advice
Math tutors
Laser eye surgery recommendations
The best hardware store in a one-mile radius
Family-friendly restaurants
A good tailor
How to get involved in your block club
Dining spots near the airport
Halloween costume sewing tips
A reliable place to get your car tuned
Here are some things you might discuss with your professional network:
Sources for a list server for your new electronic newsletter
The best version of a software program
Association management resources
A good speaker for your next event
Other respected IT system vendors
How e-learning or e-commerce is working in their organizations
Where to go for budget advice
Recommendation for a medical insurance plan
How to book travel
Leadership advice for serving on a new board
A good place to study workplace Spanish
An inexpensive location for a meeting
Whom do you contact when you need something?
Average players attend required meetings. Winners attend not only required meetings but also others. You may wonder why would you want to add to your already busy schedule? The answer is that you will benefit greatly from other perspectives. This is the reason that cross-training and job shadowing are time-tested job enrichment techniques. They force increased understanding of what it's like to do another person's job.
If you're currently working, think of all the meetings you could attend at your business location: department meetings, virtual meetings, client meetings, management meetings, orientation sessions, benefits briefings, and safety briefings as well as lunchtime learning sessions, e–learning, and Web chats. If you're new, you have a great reason to request attending and observing other meetings. If you're a seasoned veteran, you can make up a reason. Volunteer for a special project or design one of your own. Chair a committee. Conduct a survey. Interview for an article or write one yourself. Volunteer to take notes or be the recorder.
Today, having experience with virtual meetings is essential in most large organizations. Virtual meeting participants can live in different time zones, speak different languages, receive materials in different formats, and are often uncomfortable with the virtual interaction. To stand out in virtual meetings, observe your first one, participate in the next, and when it's your turn to lead a virtual meeting, you'll be prepared and confident.
A great way to sign up for meetings is to offer to be the speaker. You might find this idea challenging, but, if you're like most people, you have something to share. Think of what your life experience has taught you. You can share that experience in many formats. At work you could present an overview to the board about a conference you attended. You could outline the newly developed five-year plan in a department meeting. Outside of work, you can speak at many places. Churches, schools, and community groups are always looking for speakers to present topics that range from the benefits of low-fat cooking to help with taxes. There are lunchtime learning series, evening workshops, and Sunday sessions. Find out who's in charge and extend the offer. If the need is not immediate, send a note or your card now and then to remind the person of your interest in speaking.
Volunteering is another good way to become known. When you selflessly volunteer for causes you believe in, such as giving blood or helping with a company- or church-sponsored tutoring program, you earn a halo of recognition. It's the best kind of halo because you've volunteered for the cause first; the recognition is simply the bonus. When you become a resource to others, you help yourself and revitalize your spirit.
One-on-one coaching, mentoring, and guidance also keep you visible among your colleagues. You could be thinking, Me? Mentor someone? You'd be surprised to know that just about everyone can mentor someone on something. If you've been on the job a while or know your craft, you have skills to share. If you're retired, your wisdom can be of great benefit to new workers. Mentoring is gaining in popularity as companies watch their employee development budgets. It's a low-cost way to use internal and former talent. If you're a consultant, an entrepreneur, or a former skilled employee, you can coach people who want to do what you do. People don't forget a good coach.
Volunteer for your professional organizations and be more than a good volunteer—be great. Average players are semicommitted. Winners can always be counted on. You can do simple things such as volunteer for a phone-calling tree, shake hands at the door, or clean up afterward. When you're ready, chair a committee. Run for the executive board. Be the president. Organize the annual conference. No matter what your volunteer role, it's important to be dependable. The friendships you make with people who share your profession are special. Stay in touch with your professional friends forever.
You might want to consider volunteering first for the membership committee of an association. Membership gives you the opportunity to become the front line for the organization. You usually get to work the registration table, which is a great spot for seeing and being seen. You get to know everyone and can gain insight into how the group works behind the scenes. Working at check-in also allows you to become the master connector, orchestrating important connections for people who may not have done so themselves.
A proven phenomenon is that strength lies in weak ties. This means that people who don't know you quite so well will tend to recommend you and your services before your best friends and acquaintances will. Recommending someone you don't know well involves reduced risk. Think about it: Every tie in your network is important. You could find that you will receive referrals from people whom don't know you at all. They've heard your name somewhere or know someone who was familiar with your skills. This is the strength that lies in weak ties. Refer work to others. They will remember.
Don't be afraid of your competitors. Find out who they are and make sure they know you. If you're a good sport who enjoys being in the game, you'll soon see that there's enough work to go around. Many association members use each other as strategic alliances, referring them to clients who need their related products or services. You can partner with a competitor in many ways: on presentations, on proposals, on resources or travel—even on passing jobs along when you're unable to take them.
Advertising gets the word out about good people, products, and services. Get your name in print as much as possible. Place an ad in your clients' trade journals or those you read monthly, send out postcard updates, or create a brochure that can be used for customers. If you're within an organization, consider developing a marketing piece that could be used internally for cross-selling purposes. If you're independent or based at home, a newsletter is a good way to stay in touch. Electronic newsletters and e-zines are becoming more and more popular and easier to produce with some set-up tools and basic training. You can also advertise in fund-raising programs and marketing pieces or calendars.
Get your photo out in as many places as you can. Putting a photo on your business or calling card can give you a lot of recognition. The more that people see your photo, the more often they will recognize you. A good headshot is priceless and important for almost anyone to have because you can use it for programs, family events, and all sorts of church, community, and work needs. Photographers who specialize in taking actor's headshots are often the best at capturing your personality. Their entire business centers around taking photos that show faces at their best. They also can recommend good make-up artists and wardrobe stylists. Many larger urban areas have a photographer with a related background. If you have a Web site that includes a photograph, you will notice that people you meet in person or on the phone seem to know you. The Web inspires countless opportunities for advertisement and visual recognition.
Most people are honored to be invited to someone's home for dinner. Restaurant meetings are nice and coffee at the corner shop is great, but dinner at home is more personal. Whether or not you are a great cook, you can provide a meal with the help of deli-prepared food as long as you showcase one homemade item. Why make one item? You can discuss the heritage of the recipe!
Men as well as women can invite clients home. Tom, a single man who lives in a large urban area, hosts an annual holiday party for ten co-workers every year using take-out deli trays from the local gourmet grocer. His single homemade item is the shrimp sauce—a simple mixture of ketchup and horseradish.
Everyone has a great time, and he gets to show off his inherited family collection of holiday decorations.
Extend an invitation to co-workers, friends, or clients, and don't forget the boss. If you don't typically socialize with the boss, you will feel more at ease if you also include a few others from work. You can mix up your dinner guest lists and invite people outside work to blend with the business crowd. This eclectic combination of people can allow more interesting dinner conversation. Tom once hosted the first two clients to hire him when he opened his business. They had never met, and he thought they would get along beautifully, but he had another motive as well. One of them was in job transition and the other had a large network in sales. As a result of the dinner, the two brainstormed some good job leads and still stay in touch.
A dinner club is also fun. You can get together with four to six couples and start your own modern version of a tradition started in the 1940s and 50s. When everyone brings a dish to share, the pressure of preparing an entire meal is off the host or hostess. This, paired with gathering in someone's home, offers a way for everyone to relax and discuss things that might never come up in a restaurant or at another type of social event.
Most people forget. Winners follow up. Years ago, after attending a presentation by a panel of experts for her professional association, Wanda, a real estate saleswoman, followed up with letters to each panel member thanking them for their presentations and expertise. She then called them all later to follow up on her letters. Although two never returned her messages, one did. That one return call from a vice president of a large financial services company resulted in a meeting, igniting the beginning of a ten-year client relationship for her. Think how simple this follow-up was: three letters and three phone calls. Cost = less than one hour of time and $1.00 postage. Value = thousands of dollars of profit, priceless relationship, and years of career support.
Face-to-face contact is the best type of follow-up, although it's not always possible. Follow-up via email gives the impression of “work-as-usual” and is uninspired. Phone calls, notes, and letters make more of an impact because they take some time and effort to accomplish. If you don't have personalized stationery, have some made. Whether you're an employee, a homemaker, or an entrepreneur, people will recognize your personal touch when they receive your note. Many believe that one of the things that helped elect George H. W. Bush as the forty-first president was his use of thank-you notes. He carried his personalized note cards wherever he went and jotted a few quick lines to every person who had been involved in the campaign stop he'd just left. Hundreds of people received these personal notes and remembered his thoughtfulness on voting day.
Follow-up can also include clipping and sending articles pertinent to the discussion you and your contact had together. Send the restaurant guide to Paris for a client's vacation in France or research related to drugs and depression to a pharmaceutical client to use on her calls to physicians. If you ever see contacts' in print, clip and send that, too. Alert them to Web sites you've unearthed that will help them with their projects. Invite them to a different meeting you're attending or speaking at. Ask if they'd be willing to review some written material you're currently working on such as your brochure or an article.
The follow-up is a winning move that many people consider but few actually make. Some are afraid of rejection; others just don't take the time for details. Consider this popular adage: “Successful people do what others don't want to do.” Remember that follow-up steps complete the positive impression you want to make.
