I will always remember Saturday, 24 June 1995.

I was at Ellis Park, Johannesburg, South Africa, watching my beloved All Blacks lose to the Springboks in the Rugby World Cup final.

While it's still gut‐wrenching, it remains etched in my memory forever not for the result, but rather for this one extraordinary man and his ability to inspire a country of 42 million people to unite as one.

Although he was not the leader on the pitch, he was clearly at the forefront of that historic victory. As he has famously said, ‘Lead from the back and let others believe they are in front’.

It's a shame more of us are not like him.

Bad bosses are actually great for one fundamental reason: the fact that we remember the painful moments more than we remember the joyful ones, which means we can really learn from them. I desperately wish it were the other way around but, unfortunately, it's not. Our minds are just not wired like that. Psychologists Paul Rozin and Edward Royzman talk about a concept called ‘negativity bias’. Research shows that our brains have evolved over time to react much more strongly to negative experiences than to positive ones. Yet even in modern times, when physical danger within the corporate environment is thankfully somewhat limited, the negativity bias still exists.

Over the years I have been very fortunate to have experienced many exceptional bosses: those managers and leaders who have offered clear guidance and direction, freedom and room to stretch, development and support and, most importantly to me, respect and genuine friendship. I like to think that this has largely been down to the type of companies with which I have been associated. But with total transparency, my ‘company of choice’ selection at the start of my career was pure luck.

At 21, I only had one career goal: I wanted to get into the London advertising scene. I didn't care why the company existed, what they did or how they conducted themselves; I just wanted in. As luck would have it, I did get in — albeit at a very junior ‘gofer’ level — and landed a job within a thriving advertising agency with a great culture.

Over time I definitely became more diligent and process‐oriented in company selection. Each company you work for will have its own nuances and unique idiosyncrasies, and the more laser‐like you can become with your career and company selection the more it will pay dividends. The principles of those companies and individuals that I have worked with over the years have mostly been aligned and consistent with my own. As a result, I have worked with and reported to a number of very capable and exceptional leaders.

THE PERIL OF BAD BOSSES

That said, I have not been immune to the perils of bad bosses. With almost 30 years of playing this game, I have naturally had one or two. When confronted with a bad boss, you despair, you despise, you dread. Your interactions are superficial at best. Your progression and learnings are poor. Your autonomy is restricted and your freedom to operate with independence is limited. Your respect levels are downright nonexistent, and, in some cases, you fear your boss.

Worse still, which makes my blood boil, you can be harassed and bullied by your boss. In my mind, no‐one has the right to believe they are better than anyone else, especially within a position of power or leadership. Yes, there will always (and should always) be an eventual hierarchy of decision making, and that is okay. But outside of that, all employees, staff, associates or whatever your organisation calls them should be treated the same. That is why some companies are exceptional and others are average, at best. My wife and I have taught our own kids to treat the Uber Eats driver with the same respect they would afford a politician or dignitary. In each case, hopefully respectfully. To me, it's just about being a good person, full stop.

Another concern is that you end up imitating the behavioural traits that you witness in a bad boss (the dreaded ‘imitation factor’). If you do copy these traits, bad behaviours perpetuate widely, and you'll harm way more than just yourself. I know this is hard. Particularly if you've had little or no other experience with which to compare.

MY BAD BOSSES

If I had to categorise them, I would say that I have had three bad bosses in my career. Each of them has left me with an invaluable lesson. Lessons I did not appreciate at the time, yet lessons that helped shape an intrinsic part of my personal leadership style. Interestingly, each of them had certain qualities that were admirable — one was probably the most intellectual person that I have encountered. They were so clever that they used to confuse themselves, but that is another story. I acknowledge this because it's important to remember that everyone has admirable traits and redeemable qualities.

One of these bosses I reported to directly and the other two via indirect reporting lines. One short story is as follows. It happened many years ago now, and to date is still one of the most bewildering experiences of my career.

It was literally my second day in a new job and, for some reason unbeknown to me, I was given a couple of pieces of packaging artwork that I was told needed to be run by the head honcho.

I remember at the time thinking this was a little odd, having to show the head of a massive corporation some packaging artwork. Either way, I was working in a new industry, new company with new ways of doing things, so I casually walked over to the desk of the big man in question.

‘Excuse me, I've been told that I need to show you a couple of options regarding some artwork for the upcoming promotion. Do you have a minute?’

Considering this was only my second interaction with him (the first one being at my job interview), I thought it was a reasonable opening. Without acknowledging me, he continued writing and grunted, with a slight nod of the head, something that sounded like ‘whatever’.

A little perplexed, I glanced furtively around at those sitting nearby. All eyes were firmly fixed on their desks.

I continued: ‘We have two options and to be honest, I don't really think there is too much difference between them. That said, I would recommend the first one based on x, y and z’.

Now, I don't remember what x, y and z were, but to this day, I insist they would have been reasonably pragmatic as I generally don't use fluff or too much marketing malarkey within my recommendations. Maybe I shouldn't have started with ‘there being little difference’ between the two options, but, apart from that, I reckon it wasn't a bad little 90 seconds of communication.

Well, how wrong could I be?

With one large hand he swept the artwork flying to the floor. Scraping back his chair, he stood to his full height and glared at me, almost frothing at the mouth. In a voice that I reckon half the city could hear, he let loose with, ‘I want people who build brands, fucken brands! Not people who tell me what I can and can't fucken do, who the hell do you think you are … ’ Let me tell you, 30 seconds can feel like an eternity when the boss is abusing you in front of a whole office. Having exhausted his use of expletives, he pushed his chair away from his desk and trudged off, leaving me gobsmacked, humiliated and pretty upset.

I shot an incredulous look at no‐one in particular and traipsed sheepishly back to my desk with one thought in my mind: ‘What the hell was that all about?’ Looking around the office for clarity and support from others, I realised all eyes seemed fixed on the floor. You could have heard a pin drop.

I do want to be clear that I don't base my classification of a bad boss on one or even a few isolated experiences. We all have bad days, and I am no exception. Unfortunately, in this case, this behaviour was not so isolated. It resulted in a reluctance by subordinates to interact with him and, more so, it lessened their desire to challenge or raise alternate points of view — a situation that is never good. Granted, this individual remains one of the most commercially astute and results‐oriented leaders that I've met. In many areas, he was phenomenal and well respected. However, he will never make my ‘exceptional leaders list’.