admissions percentages, at colleges, 250–251
ADP Research Institute, 9, 80, 184, 189, 211, 233, 264
alumni program, in Love + Work organization, 234
attention, finding your pattern of, 56–60, 191
benevolent distortion, 176
Biles, Simone, 21
brain, individual uniqueness and neuron patterns in, 40–42, 55
branding function, of colleges, 248–249
Buckingham, Marcus
clicking with question/answer combos at Gallup and, 83–87, 124–125, 169
decision to leave and divorce of, 165–167
differences between siblings and, 51–53
discovery of love of reading in childhood, 71–75
family’s experience of college cheating scandal, 239–244
finding a pattern of attention in boys’ behavior in sports, 56–59
importance of “what” of role at Gallup, 188–189
instinctive love of being onstage in spite of stammering, 64–67
parenting experience of, 272–273
reading aloud in chapel and, 95–99, 277–279
recording advice experience of, 127–130
starting a career by, 186
Buckingham, Neil, 52, 64, 71–72
clicking with question/answer combos at Gallup and, 83–87
describing details of without bragging, 195–196
finding something to love every day in, 188–191
finding ways to differentiate your contributions in, 196–201
finding your pattern of attention to find your loves in, 59
focusing on what you can control in, 191–195
importance of “what” over “who” and “why” in, 187–189
“just start” approach in, 185–187
luck and, 185
range of feelings about, 181–182
as a work in progress, 182
See also jobs; work
career paths, in Love + Work organization, 233
CEOs, direct reports to, 230–231
check-ins, and team leaders, 215–219
Cisco, 207
description of rapid learning a new skill as, 81–82
example of question/answer combos at Gallup and, 83–87
Clifton, Dr. Donald O., 3, 83–85, 87, 124–125, 169
Clooney, Ada, 55
college cheating scandal, 239–244
colleges and universities
admissions percentages and, 250–251
application process in, 263–264
companies and organizations as customers of, 247
eliminating tuition at, 267–269
grade point average (GPA) system and, 251–252, 254–255, 266–267
magna cum laude and summa cum laude stamps at, 253–254
SAT and ACT at, 252–253, 262–263
US News and World Report ratings of, 251, 260–261
Collins, Jim, 185
comparison
childhood experience of writing as example of, 139–144
school and work fetish for, 144–146
competencies, in Love + Work organization, 233
Crenshaw, Kimberlé, 34
Csikszentmihalyi, Mihaly, 70
Deloitte, 183
career choice and, 188
career counselor’s Voice Box technique for uncovering, 92–95
example of reading aloud in chapel and focus on, 95–99
Red Thread Questionnaire to discover, 99–100
reliance on generalizations versus, 90–91
writing yourself a love note to discover your own details, 91–92
devils
differences
between members of a family, 51–55
finding your pattern of attention to your own, 56–60
Discoverers, The (Boorstin), 72–74
education
of employees, 232
Love + Work curriculum for, 256–258
Love + Work manifesto on changes needed in, 258–269, 270
See also colleges and universities; schools
educational system
findings from student interviews in, 17–18
See also schools
employee opinion surveys, 228–229
focusing on excellence in, 115–116
strengthening activities as “red threads” and, 116–118
family members, differences between, 51–55
examining fears versus, 137–138
people’s reactions and, 135–136
problems in using feedback, 130–131
recording advice example of, 127–130
sharing reactions versus, 131–132, 135
First, Break All the Rules (Buckingham), 10, 153
Fitzpatrick, Donnie, 17–18, 34, 92–94
definition of, 70
discovery of love of reading in childhood as example of, 71–75
finding your “red threads” (activities) in, 76–80
time sense in activities we love and, 69–70
Fredrickson, Barbara, 48
Gallup, 9, 18, 83–87, 124–125, 169, 188–189
Gates, Bill and Melinda French, 223
generalizations, reliance on, versus details, 90–91
goals
in Love + Work organization, 228
Goldberg, Dave, 184
Goldstein, Catherine, 104
Good to Great (Collins), 185
Go Put Your Strengths to Work (Buckingham), 153
grade point average (GPA) system, 251–252, 254–255, 266–267
journal entry examples of, 107–110
love-strength of knowing yourself versus, 112–113
growth, and team leaders, 219–221
Hilton, 153
Hippocrates, 203
housekeepers, 153–156, 158, 194
HR system, in Love + Work organization, 233–234
Huffman, Felicity, 244
identity
love-strength versus group-strength and, 111–113
Immediate Rejection Syndrome, 169, 179
examples of instinctive responses to situations, 61–63
experience of wanting to be onstage in spite of stammering, 64–67
as first sign of, 67
knowing your own instincts, 63–64, 67
Jeong, Ken, 38
jobs
designing around what people love in, 157–158
finding love in 20 percent of a job and, 80, 156–157
flow with “red thread” activities in, 76–77, 80
learning new love language for, 40
Jobs, Steve, 5
Johnson, Boris, 223
Jordan, Michael, 70
Kipling, Rudyard, 185
loving team members by, 221–224
myths about leaders of, 213–229
organization’s culture and, 224–225
trust as organization’s asset and, 226–229
weekly check-ins used by, 215–219
Loughlin, Lori, 244
clicking in an activity and, 81–87
instincts as first sign of, 67
meaning of “work” learned through, 46–48
purpose of, and work, 49
seeing world differently while in, 48–49
Love + Work curriculum, 256–258
Love + Work interview questions, 230–236
Love + Work manifesto on changes in schools, 258–269, 270
Love + Work organization
establishing a level of trust in, 227–228
higher-order characteristics of, 232–236
minimum requirements for, 230–232
rituals to be eliminated in, 228–229
love language
learning for your own loves, 39–40, 87
loves
examples of people taking their loves seriously, 38–39
finding your pattern of attention in order to find your loves, 56–60
learning a new language for your own loves, 39–40, 87
Machiavelli, 134
McKinsey, 234
meditation, 20
mirror neurons, 59
examples of, 122
“what” questions to identify activities you love and, 123, 124
mission, of Love + Work organization, 230
MIT, 248
Morrison, Toni, 155
Nickel and Dimed (Ehrenreich), 155–156
Nine Lies About Work (Buckingham and Goodall), 127, 206, 214, 225
Obama, Barack, 223
offboarding of team members, 236
“On Children” (Gibran), 279–280
organizational culture, and leaders, 224–225
Osaka, Naomi, 20
comparing yourself with your peers in, 144
as a competitive sport, 259
Graeme + Jo Buckingham’s example of, 274–280
maneuvering the world for their children, 271–273
passing your fears onto your children in, 259–260
Pasteur, Louis, 205
peer-feedback systems, 233
performance feedback tools, 228
performance ratings, 228
childhood experience of writing as example of, 139–144
comparison fetish and, 144–146
reactions, versus feedback, 131–132, 135
“red thread” (activities), 76–80
benefits of finding, 80
description of, in flow, 76
questionnaire to help identify, 77–79
strengthening activities as, 116–118
ancient Greek thinkers on virtuous behavior and, 170–171
benevolent distortions in, 176
learning you are not alone and, 170
need for another person in, 168–174
romantic love in workplace and, 222–223
Rizzolatti, Giacomo, 59
Romans, Myshel, 223, 249–250, 253–254
journal kept by, 22–26, 107–110, 146–149
lack of respect on job experienced by, 223–224
magna cum laude stamp of, 253–254
recognition of partner’s patterns by, 168–169, 177–178, 179
Sandberg, Sheryl, 223
Sartre, Jean-Paul, 286
Saujani, Reshma, 38
career counselor’s interview technique in, 17–18
career counselor’s Voice Box technique for details in, 92–95
companies and organizations as customers of, 247
comparison fetish in, 145
grade point average (GPA) system and, 251–252, 254–255, 266–267
impatience with details in, 90–91
Love + Work curriculum for, 256–258
Love + Work manifesto on changes needed in, 258–269, 270
self-mastery curricula in, 264–265
two-step process for repairing, 244
uniqueness of students in, 237–238
self-mastery curricula, 264–265
Singer, Rick, 242
skills
“clicking” (rapid learning) in picking up, 81–82
deliberate practice of steps in learning, 81
example of learning question/answer combos at Gallup and, 83–87
standardized tests, in colleges, 252–253, 262–263
students. See colleges and universities; schools
finding love in 20 percent of a job and, 156–157
housekeepers example of love of work and, 153–156
Sulawesi cave paintings, 209–210, 211
SurveyMonkey, 184
talent reviews, 228
team building, in Love + Work organization, 232
team-joining programs, 231
team leaders
frequency of meetings with, 231
teams
benefits of membership in, 211
cave paintings portraying, 209–210, 211
employee opinion surveys and, 228–229
maximizing unique qualities of members of, 211–212
offboarding of members of, 236
organization’s culture and, 224–225
time sense, and activities we love, 69–71
Tolle, Eckhart, 134
traumas, healing yourself of, 45–46
“Trombone Player Wanted” (Buckingham), 284–286
trust
as organizational asset, 226–227
rituals to be eliminated for, 228–229
tuition, eliminating at colleges, 267–269
Tutu, Desmond, 174
Ubuntu philosophy, 174
US News and World Report, 251, 260–261
Walt Disney World, 18–19, 153, 158, 194
Williams, Venus and Serena, 54, 55
Williamson, Marianne, 134
Winfrey, Oprah, 20, 54, 55, 284
clicking with question/answer combos at Gallup and, 83–87
finding your pattern of attention to find your loves in, 59
impatience with details in, 90–91
meaning of, through love, 46–49
purpose of, and love, 49
See also career; jobs
workplace
school’s purpose of educating children for, 246–247
background to concept of, 40
finding your pattern of attention to find your loves in, 60
healing yourself of your traumas and, 45–46
learning to read your own love language for building, 87
making changes by investigating your loves in, 44–46
pattern of neuron connections in, 40–42
possibility of growth of, 44
“red thread” activities and, 76
three things to know about, 42–46
uniqueness of, and not fitting into a category, 42–43
ways of describing details of, 196