Part I: The Preliminaries

A Netscape engineer who shan't be named once passed a pointer to JavaScript, stored it as a string and later passed it back to C, killing 30.

—Blake Ross

Debugging is twice as hard as writing the code in the first place. Therefore, if you write the code as cleverly as possible, you are, by definition, not smart enough to debug it.

—Brian W. Kernighan

Einstein argued that there must be simplified explanations of nature, because God is not capricious or arbitrary. No such faith comforts the software engineer.

—Fred Brooks

A word to the wise ain't necessary—it's the stupid ones that need the advice.

—Bill Cosby

All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You'd be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.

—Isaac Asimov

In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.

—Stephen Leacock

If you love your job, you haven't worked a day in your life.

—Tommy Lasorda

Oh, so they have internet on computers now!

—Homer Simpson