A helpful thing to know about yourself in a conflict situation is how you feel about conflict in general. You have had a chance in this book to answer some questions about conflicts you are engaged in, how you may approach conflict, how to give and get feedback, how you listen, and how you can engage in conflict with your coworkers.
Now you can answer the important question about whether conflict can have positive value. Is it something to avoid at all costs, is it something to seek out, or is conflict something somewhere in between?
Think of a specific conflict situation at work that you have been a part of, will be a part of, should be a part of, or would like to be a part of. Then answer these final questions, which we have borrowed from The Conflict Management Skills Workshop by Bill Withers.
WIIFM? (What’s in it for me?)
What might I gain by being a part of this conflict?
What might I learn by being a part of this conflict?
What might change about me as a result of being a part of this conflict?
WIIFOP? (What’s in it for the other person?)
What might the other person(s) gain because I am a part of this conflict?
WIIFU? (What’s in it for us?)
What might everyone involved gain because I am a part of this conflict?
What might my team or department and I gain because I am a part of this conflict?
What might the company gain because I am a part of this conflict?
Can groups of people (teams, departments, or companies) learn from conflict? If they can, what can they learn?
So, if there are benefits to conflict, should you wait for conflict to come to the surface all by itself, or should you look for hidden conflict and bring it up on purpose? What would you do if you decide to constructively leave conflict alone? What would you do if you decide to constructively bring conflict to the surface?