If you sell, fear has probably cost you, personally, millions of dollars.

If you work for a company that generates $5 million in annual revenue, fear has cost your firm tens of millions of dollars over the years.

If the company is a $20 million business, fear has cost the firm hundreds of millions of dollars over the years. And if the company does $100 million annually, the total lost is in the billions.

But this is just individual firms. If we think about the sales lost across industries, or neighborhoods, cities, states, and nations, over years and decades, we're talking about many trillions.

This includes the immense amount of money salespeople have lost out on in take‐home pay and in vacations not taken; the losses to the local economy not injected with this money; the investments businesses have not made, thereby hurting their suppliers; and the customers not helped.

I know the impact of fear on sales because I've worked with hundreds of companies and thousands of salespeople on the topic of revenue growth.

My clients add 10 to 20 percent, and often a lot more, to their sales growth annually. We accomplish this by systematically making the simple communications laid out in Part IV.

But we don't start there with my clients (nor in this book); we start with mindset. Because how you think, how you deal with fear of rejection and failure, is how you sell.

It is impossible to outsell your mindset.

If you are confident and optimistic and bold, you will enthusiastically and joyfully make the pitches to customers and prospects that growth requires. You will proactively pick up the telephone. You'll ask for referrals. You'll follow up on quotes and proposals.

But if you are fearful and cautious, you will avoid this work. You will seek refuge in less risky activities. Like email. And “research.”

But let me be clear: nearly all salespeople deal with fear. It's human. We are wired to have it, and to avoid the situations that might make it come true.

You are not unique if you deal with fear; you are with the great majority.

Conversely, if you can consistently make the simple customer communications that lead to fast sales growth in spite of your fear, you will stand far above the sales crowd.

In this book, I arm you with the tools, the actions, and the thinking techniques to do this.

If you work through the tools and actions in this book—and do the work—you will find yourself selling much, much more, and fast.

Fear Is Automatic

The thing about fear in sales—and all types of fear—is that it happens automatically. We just have it. We've learned it over our entire lives. When does it start? When we are children. When our classmates reject us as friends. When we are left out of a group. When we are not one of the early picks for the kickball team. As we get older, we get rejected by potential dates. In organized sports, we can get cut while trying out for a team. Rejection can come from applying to colleges and universities, and then, of course, by companies that fire us—or don't even offer us a job.

These fears are in us.

They rear their ugly heads automatically.

But dealing with them requires (1) awareness of these fears and (2) proactive countermeasures. Anything worthwhile or good requires some effort. To begin, let's identify and define the fears specifically, and then detail what they make us do and also what they keep us from doing. At the end of this chapter, I give you a very simple two‐step process to deal with your fears.

How to Leverage This with Your Customers

This dynamic holds true for everybody who reads or watches the news, including your customers.

We live in a scary world.

There is disease and disaster and war and the threat of war.

Nearly every political campaign descends into negativity. The positive campaigner is a rarity (and he or she usually loses).

The news media is happy to report all this negativity because it brings eyeballs—and the more eyeballs, the more the media is paid by advertisers.

On top of this, the customers of your customers are always complaining, rarely happy.

Altogether, on many days, your customers probably feel like they're barely able to keep their heads above the water.

What can we do?

In our own little way, we can help our customers.

With the right mindset (stay tuned for Part II!), we can be an island of calm and dependability and positivity for our customers in a storm of negativity and heartbreak.

We will do what we say we will do.

We will be reliable.

If there is an issue or problem with their order, we will communicate with them proactively. We won't wait until they call us to find out. We will tell them ourselves.

We will take care of our customers.

We will be present.

We will call them not only when we need something, but also to check in with them and say hello.

We will offer to help them with even more products and services than they are buying now. And they will be grateful.

Be an island for your customers.

Bring your customers peace. Bring them positivity.

Bring them confidence.

These are rare commodities in today's world.

It's not hard to stand out from the crowd.

The competition isn't doing these things.

Your customers will be grateful for you.

And they will come to you again and again with their business and with their trust.

What We Are Afraid Of

Let's define the fear. When we say that fear has cost you many sales and much money, here are the specific fears that nearly all salespeople deal with.

It's Not Just the Fear—It's What We Imagine It Will Lead To

As though the fears detailed here are not enough, our brains create consequences for their coming true.

And like the fears themselves, these consequences are shaped automatically. We are not aware of their formation and we rarely really even think it through to the consequence. We simply avoid the behaviors that cause us to feel fear!

So, for the fears described here—fear of rejection, failure, not being liked, upsetting the customer, and being embarrassed—what are the consequences? If these fears come true, there are terrible consequences that our brains will try to avoid.

I must emphasize as strongly as possible that none of the following potential consequences are rooted in reality. None of them have a good chance (or, pretty much, any chance) of happening, but we experience them as truth. Of course, they are in our unconscious imagination—they are not real—but for our fearful minds, these consequences are as real as the telephone they make us avoid:

• I'll lose the customer. The customer will leave me forever. If I offer the product they are not buying now, they will get really angry and leave me, even though they've been with me for 15 years. If I ask for a referral from my happy customer, he will be so turned off that he will leave me even though he has been buying from our company for decades.
• I'll go broke. Remember, these consequences are absurd, and we process them automatically, usually without us even being aware of them—in our subconscious. If I lose this customer, it won't be long before the others leave me also, and then how will I make money? Before long, I won't have any money.
• I'll lose my home. Yep, this is the natural consequence of going broke.
• I won't be able to provide for my family. They depend on me, and if this customer rejects me, or gets mad at me, I won't be able to support my family.

Silly, right?

But, because these consequences live outside of our conscious awareness, they drive our behavior.

Our deeply‐rooted fears and their imagined consequences literally affect what we do—and don't do—every hour of every day in our work.

They are in control of us.

They are in control of our money.

They are in control of our success.

But things are not as dire as they sound. It is not difficult to disarm these fears, and do the right thing in spite of them. It's fast and easy to shine a light on them and realize how absurd they are. But while the fears are automatic, their countermeasures require some conscious effort and attention. More on this shortly.

What Fear Makes Us Do

How do we behave when we are afraid?

What does fear do to us?

Because fear is automatic, requiring no active attention on our part, and also because our imagination creates consequences to the fear mostly subconsciously, fear's impact on our behavior also occurs automatically. We are not aware that our behavior is determined by fear. This requires no thought or attention from us; it's a reactive process. Fear drives our real‐world behavior in the sales profession, but we have no idea of this.

Here are the things that fear makes us do:

• It makes us reactive, instead of proactive. The customer is calling with a problem or urgent issue, and we better deal with it for fear of losing the customer! And we better not ask for a referral during this call (which would require asking a five‐second question), because the customer might get angry and then leave us forever.
• It makes us email instead of call or visit. Email is safer, and less intrusive, and the rejection is less personal. I've sent an email; I've succeeded! No you haven't! You've done nothing! What are the chances the customer will even see your email, much less reply to it?
• It makes us procrastinate. Fear leads pretty directly to avoiding the things that we know are important. It prevents action. We won't follow up on that outstanding quote because it might anger the customer. After all, they'd call us if they were ready to buy, right? Wrong, they're busy. They're not thinking about your quote. (We dig into this more than once in the coming pages.)
• It makes us perfectionists. Perfection and procrastination are highly related. Often, both characteristics are present prominently in salespeople. I can't send it if it isn't perfect! The thing is, it will never be perfect. You will never feel like it's all the way perfect. So you will never send it. The way to deal with this is to send the communication when it's helpful, not when it's perfect. When it's helpful, and good enough, send it. Because the distance between that point and perfection is occupied by fear! And it will always prevent you from getting to perfection.
• Fear makes us behave in counterproductive ways. It makes us undermine ourselves with damaging behavior. It makes us lesser salespeople. This hurts our customers and, of course, our families.

The Incredibly Important (and Easy) Work Fear Keeps Us from Doing

Now let's talk about all the things that fear and its imagined‐in‐the‐real‐world‐but‐actually‐real‐in‐our‐minds consequences blocks us from doing.

• It keeps us from communicating with our customers. Because we don't want to bother the customer. Or annoy them. Or take up their time. Or make them angry.
• It keeps us from picking up the phone. Astoundingly, outside salespeople spend an average of four hours per week on the telephone. Much more on this in Chapter 25.
• It keeps us from asking for the business. We don't ask if our customer is ready to buy because we're incredibly afraid of being rejected. And asking means they might reject us. So we don't ask, and never give ourselves a chance at a yes!
• It keeps us from offering additional products and services to our customers. Because, God forbid, the customer might get mad at us or leave us.
• It keeps us from following up on quotes and proposals, and closing more of them. Reason: see above.
• It keeps us from asking for referrals and expanding our customer base. Reason: see above. The tragedy here is that, as discussed in the first chapter, customers love to give us referrals.
• It keeps us from spending more time visiting our customers. Because we think they don't have time for us, or they don't want to see us. If you asked them, they would tell you that very few suppliers come to visit them—for the same reason: fear! —and they enjoy seeing you.

We could keep going on and on but you get the idea. If there is a proactive communication that would help you sell more, and you are not doing much of it, the reason is fear.

Fear keeps us from doing the work that would grow our sales.

How to Deal with Fear

Here is an incredibly simple two‐step process for dealing with, and diminishing, fear in sales:

• First, identify the fear precisely. What are you afraid of, exactly? Almost always it will be one of the fears listed earlier in this chapter.
• Second, what will happen—exactly—if this fear comes true? So, if this customer tells you no, what will happen?

Death?

Will you really lose the house?

Will somebody come to the house to remove the dogs?

Will the children not have milk to drink the next day?

Of course not!

None of these ridiculous things will happen.

But unless we shine a light on the fear and what we imagine the consequences to be, we believe the fear and its consequences will come true.

What will really happen if you get rejected by this customer, on this order?

Nothing!

Not a damn thing will happen.

Next customer!

Remember, a customer's no never means no forever. It merely means not at this moment.

So move on.

And sometime soon, come back to that customer and give him another moment.

If you work through these two steps when you find yourself avoiding something you know can grow your sales, you will bring your fears out of your unconscious and into the real world.

And you will realize in seconds how ridiculous and absurd they are.

But unless we do this, the imagined fear remains in your head, where it is totally real.

We dig deeply into another, tremendously effective external method to deal with fear in Part III: the incredibly positive feedback of your happy customers. But the simple method laid out here is a powerful way to disarm fear internally, on your own. You don't need anybody else for this: just your own mind, tuned in and focused on this topic, for about 10 seconds.

The Customers Are Afraid, Too

We end this chapter with this: the customer is afraid, too.

You are not the only one who is dealing with fear.

By dint of being human, customers also have innate fears, and theirs are no less powerful or scary than yours.

Customers are afraid their vendors will make them look bad to their boss, or their colleagues, or worst of all, to their own customers. It has happened before. In fact, if you buy from many different vendors, it has happened many times, and will continue to happen on a regular basis. The purchasing professional's mission in life is to not be made a fool of by vendors!

The customer is also afraid of letting their customers down. If you don't get your products there on time, or send the wrong ones, or customize them incorrectly, your customer will not be able to help their customers. It follows that their fears are quite similar to yours, with one nuanced caveat: your customer fears losing her customer, because of your mistakes.

The customer is also afraid of losing her job, because of her vendors' problems.

As you can see, anyone who sells to humans is working with customers who also have to deal with fear, even if it's a somewhat different fear than we salespeople navigate.

Hopefully, this helps you deal with your fear, and get on top of it.

We are all afraid.

It is our nature.