CHAPTER 14
Lack of Will
How many times have you gone to a keynote, left with three pages of notes and inspiration, and two days later, you couldn't find those notes (or the inspiration) with a GPS? If you're like most leaders, the answer is “most of the time.” That's why when I do a keynote, I spend the first half on mindset, starting with belief. I could teach an audience the greatest business tricks and reveal the secrets to success. They could have the right attitude about everything I say and think the content is great. They could be very disciplined in their workplace habits. But if they don't believe in what I'm asking them to do, then they won't implement it, let alone sustain it.
Nothing happens if you don't believe in what needs to be executed. Think back to what we covered in Part 3 and leading through change and uncertainty. The success of those changes started with leaders in the middle serving up by believing in their bosses and that the changes were necessary, important, and right. Only then could those leaders coach down to drive the successful execution of that change through their teams and the entire organization.
The same is true with any new knowledge that leads to changes big or small: Belief equals will and is the first line of attack in bridging the knowledge gap. Our belief determines our conviction. Our conviction keeps us focused on going from knowledge to execution.
That goes for this entire book, not just this part. Most likely, if you are reading this book, you wanted new or additional knowledge about leading successfully from the middle using the serve up/coach down mindset. (Or someone told you that you needed that knowledge, and you should listen to them because they are obviously very smart.) But you have to have the will to do it in order to implement it. Will lays the foundation.
What Do I Mean by “Will”?
Will is your desire to fight and win. It's the fuel to your fire. The purpose that drives your mind and body to perform. It's the feeling and energy that makes you sacrifice your time to achieve something great. It's the “I love my job, and no matter my job title, I know I am a part of something bigger and important.” Just typing this gets me pumped up and exited.
Yes, I know there are people who feel this will “thing” is BS. That you don't need to have will to do your job; you just do your job. Those are almost always the people making excuses for why things don't get done. Or they say they don't live to work; they live for their families. When I hear people say, “My family is my purpose, not my work,” I think, “Sounds good, but that's nothing more than justifying your lack of will at work.”
Sure, our families should be our number one priority. There is nothing more important to me than my wife and my kids, followed by my parents, my brothers, and my extended family. But having passion for our work and the will to be the best does not have to come at a sacrifice for our families. Jobs that require a lot of travel and many nights away from home do not mean our families have to suffer. I know moms and dads who travel every week, but when they are home, they give their spouses and kids 100 percent. Even with all their time away for work, they somehow always find the time to get away with their families and make memories that the kids will remember their entire lives. On the flip side, I know moms and dads who are home every night with their kids and still don't spend time with them, who are not creating positive memories or creating special connections with those they love.
As leaders in the middle, we can't let our employees use their will for something else like their families—or anything they hold dear—as excuses to not have the will at work. Unfortunately, this is not something a leader in the middle can fix.
Consider the story of one of my managers, Mike. Mike definitely had the skill to do his job, but after I hired him, his results were lacking. He had a great plan and good intentions. But when I called him on his results, all I got were excuses blaming everyone but him. That was my clue that Mike was unwilling to do the activities necessary to execute his plan. He had the skill but lacked the will. I sat down with Mike and I told him exactly that: “The reason you are failing is not your lack of ability but it is your lack of willingness to fight—your lack of will.” I went on to tell Mike that I could not change his will, but it was my job as the leader to take will out of the equation. “I can help you with skill, but your will is your decision, and you must know that your decision has consequences. It is up to you to believe in what you are doing and be a part of this team, and you cannot fake it. You must believe it.”
Simply put, Mike's lack of will was not something I could fix, but it was something I could demand as a leader in the middle. Deciphering this lack of will in team members is critical to coaching a successful team, and it doesn't start with them. It starts with you.
Set the “Will Standard”
As I said earlier, most people on a team know what they should be doing to be more successful. That includes you as their leader. If you're not doing what's required to serve up, why should they? Attitude and discipline don't just reflect leadership—will or belief does! Leaders in the middle are ultimately the only ones who determine if their people will be allowed to continue to work at a job they have no will to do. But leaders will tolerate that lack of will if they lack it themselves and just “manage” the team. Just managing the team opens up the black hole of the knowledge gap.
Whatever knowledge you are trying to implement and whatever you are doing to coach your team—setting expectations, scrimmaging, holding one-on-ones, doing ride days—won't work unless you have the will to set standards and the will to follow through on them. It doesn't do any good to give your team expectations on Monday, expect them to give them to their people by Wednesday, and lack the will to follow through with coaching them.
Why would you expect your managers to commit to one-on-ones with their team members and to sustain that discipline (or any discipline you require) if you lack the will to serve up/coach down and do those things yourself?
When it comes to setting standards as a leader in the middle, I think about raising my children. I refuse to accept any of my children saying, “I did not have time to do my homework” or “I didn't have time to study and bombed the test.” Studying is expected, and homework gets done no matter what. I expect commitment to their schoolwork and demand results. I want them to be accountable for their success. But what if, as part of my expectations, I committed to sitting down with my daughter to work on things she was struggling with or quiz her on problems for tests, and then I never found the time? What message does it send her if I lack the will to demand I commit to the standards I set for myself as her dad? I can't be surprised if some of what she needs to learn falls into the knowledge gap.
The same is true in sports. Professional athletes must have the will to work out several times a day, eat right, practice, learn the team's system, and push themselves to learn more and get better. Even superstars need to do this to keep their jobs. If they don't, the coach lets them go. But if the coach fails to set the standards—develop systems to win, instill belief in those systems, and demand their leaders and thus all the players commit to learning them—then the team loses focus. Because the coach lacked the will to do his jobs first and set the standards, which led to the team's lack of will to commit to what they needed to do to win. Even if the team keeps winning, the culture becomes toxic and failure is usually inevitable, at least in the short term until the coach is fired and they reclaim their will to get better.
Just like parents and coaches, leaders in the middle must serve up and coach down with the intent to make our team members the best they can be by displaying the will to do it themselves: Set the standard of serve up/coach down activity and behavior that everyone (including you as the leader in the middle) must do every day, every week, and every month and apply those same standards to any knowledge required.
If you or anyone on the team fails to live up to those standards, ask yourself: Is this a lack of will? Are you or the person not willing to do the work, or do you or they not know how to do the work?
If the answer is, “Yes, I lack the will,” reread this section before continuing to the next one and think about how you might be the cause of your problems. Understand if you have a lack of will before pointing a finger at your bosses and your people.
If the answer is, “Yes, we or they lack the will,” continue reading to find out why. When you do, you will usually find you or your people—especially your best people—who lack the will lost it along the way.
If the answer is, “Yes, we do not know how to do the work,” then continue reading to the end of this chapter to understand how critical the coach down mindset is.
You've Lost that Willing Feeling
Many people who don't have the will had it at one time and then stopped striving to learn more, because they think they have enough or have done enough. Leaders in the middle must see this in themselves and/or others, understand why it happened, and most importantly, mandate things change. There are two common reasons people lose their will:
- They feel unchallenged.
- They feel unappreciated.
When it comes to not feeling challenged, the solution is often not what most leaders in the middle think. It's not about finding a new job. It's about finding a new reason to be better at the one they have first. It's about going back and keeping score. If they can't find that reason, then the only thing left is to find a new job.
When it comes to lacking appreciation, the problem is also often addressed incorrectly with a new incentives or rewards program. Neither are correct. There's nothing wrong with them per se, but they are about goal-setting, not appreciation. The number one requirement for us humans to feel truly appreciated and successful is to have a sense of significance. We crave feeling significant in this world and in our work.
As I have covered in my previous books, appreciation starts with gratitude on the part of the leaders and the organization, which is less common than you might think. I mean, when was the last time you just said a genuine “thank you” to your team without a setup for anything else? After gratitude, feeling significant is about being valued and appreciated and feeling that your efforts matter. When we are no longer appreciated or feel taken for granted, we start to feel insignificant and lose the will to serve or coach—or do anything more than check the box. As a leader in the middle, we must be able to see this and be prepared to resolve it.
We will cover this more in the chapters ahead, but for now, please also realize that people who are not willing to do what they know they should do are not necessarily bad people. They may have made a choice that the reward or result is not worth the sacrifice to achieve it and thus don't feel it has significance for them.
The Reward Must Be Worth the Sacrifice
The only way to be consistent in fueling the will to do the lessons we know we should do is to believe in the “reward” for our work. People have called this reward different things. Simon Sinek calls it our “why,” or purpose. In Start with Why, he shows how people do more of the “what” when they have the “why.” Rory Vaden in Take the Stairs describes it as the difference between walking across a long narrow plank on the ground and one suspended in the air; on the ground it's no problem, but high in the air, the consequences make it seem impossible. Vaden notes if you were a parent and you had to cross that narrow plank to save your child, then you would not give it a second thought.
Sinek and Vaden in different ways are pointing out the absolute importance of the reward being worth the work. Again, this is not the same reward we mean when we talk about reward programs. It is the fire that drives you and makes all the hard work worth it. It's what gives you the will to go on and keep serving and coaching through the bad times as well as the good. For some people it might be money, but while money may be a short-term reward, it rarely sustains our will.
Explaining this was actually how I wrapped up my conversation with Mike. I told him that if he did not see that the reward was worth the effort then he should find a place other than my team or our company where he could find his will. Which is what he decided to do not long after we spoke. I saw him a few years later and he actually thanked me for what I did. “Although I hated you for it at the time,” he said, “I found my will to be great and a job that gives me that fuel.” I don't think Mike will ever send me a Christmas card, but I am grateful that I was able to help him help himself.
Serve Up/Coach Down Mindset: Lack of Will
Remember: Lack of will is a choice based on what we are willing to do to achieve our goals or to do our jobs at and above what is required. As leaders, we can only coach people on the skills if they have the will to learn and do what it takes. No will = No great results. Only when everyone has the will to succeed can a leader in the middle determine if there is a lack of skill leading to the knowledge gap that can be addressed through coaching or training.
The wrong mindset fueled by poor coaching and an inability to serve up: I don't believe it, therefore I don't execute on it. I go through the motions and check the box. I don't believe the reward is worth the sacrifice, so I make excuses for not believing it and coaching my team on how to execute on the knowledge we have been given.
The correct mindset fueled by great coaching and an ability to serve up: To serve up, my job is to make my team better and help my boss and organization achieve their goals. When it comes to the knowledge gap, I must appreciate and value the investment the organization and leaders made in acquiring knowledge to do that and have the will to act on implementing that knowledge. I must coach my employees to see this and demand that they make a choice to find the will to use that knowledge or find the door.