Progress might have been all right once, but it has gone on too long.

—Ogden Nash

“I’m buried in work,” bemoans my friend Ben, an attorney specializing in elderly issues.

“I’m glad you’re making money,” I say. “Living in Marin County, California, with a wife and two preteen daughters, you had better be bringing in the big bucks,” I tease.

“Yeah, I’m doing okay,” he halfheartedly agrees. A long pause ensues.

“Are you?” I ask gently. “Many people in business tell me that they’re buried in their work. That’s scary. ‘Buried’ is such a negative image, an inability to breathe, compression, and contraction. And the images ‘stretched thin’ conjures up aren’t pretty either.”

Ben says nothing. He’s come a long way from the twenty-one-year-old I met decades ago when he eked out a living as a freelance researcher. In those days, he wouldn’t think twice about taking a walk in the woods during the day instead of staying glued to his desk. Finally, he declares, “I love my work,” pauses again, then says, “I just wish it wasn’t so relentless.”

That’s the rub for many of us. According to statistics only 25 percent of us love our work, but even if we are among the fortunate who do, the constant pressures wear us down. We are besieged by information with the expectation that we are available 24/7 and know the right answer the moment we are called on to make a decision. The unspoken assumption is that we will handle constant demands and interruptions with ease while being psychologically astute enough to coach the smiling, backstabbing employee who wants our job or the associate having an emotional meltdown in our office. When we don’t rise to these expectations, we feel bad about ourselves or angry.

In addition, instead of technology making our lives easier and giving us more free time, many of us become addicted to it, spending countless hours not only at work but at home on email, social media, and our smartphones. Furthermore, we know we need to spend more time with our families or carve out time for a social life, yet, as Ben said, “it’s all so relentless” that it’s hard to find the time.

At work, many of the jobs we want to do get pushed to the back burner while the have-to-dos continually tug at us. So we run faster and rely too often on our willpower and force to get through the day, which exhausts us. In the process, the joy of work often dissipates, as does our deep connection with ourselves. Perhaps when we dream of a higher quality of life, we tell ourselves to be grateful that we have a job, and, of course, that’s true. But what a cost we pay!

As Scott Barrett, a successful and now balanced leader, relates:

If we choose to listen, the body provides plenty of clues. Under continuous demands and pressure, the thinking mind works overtime. After a while, it becomes less efficient and harder to turn off. Sleep patterns may become disturbed; worry, doubts, and fears may arise; and depression or violent behavior may emerge. In its debilitated state, the body breaks down and disease occurs. However, it doesn’t have to be this way. Later in his career, Scott became the chief information officer for a large public firm. His experience working with Wayne Huizenga, then chairman and chief executive of the company, birthed these observations:

Each of us has a habitual way of responding when the pressure builds. Some of us lose our strength and collapse while others resist and harden. Then there are those who either have a natural ability to be strong under pressure or have learned this skill. Without knowing it, they reconfigure their brains to avoid being flooded by cortisol, the stress hormone. Now that’s a very good thing since cortisol can shrink brain mass, take ten years off your life, and negatively affect your organs, not to mention your ability to get along with others. Those who are very skilled at handling stressors can even trigger the release of serotonin, the well-being hormone, and that attitude can be transmitted to others by what you say and do. However, for those who have little skill in transforming pressure into a positive force, it not only negatively affects them, it can affect those around them. To begin to change these patterns, we need to understand pressure from a new perspective.

PRESSURE IN THE TWENTY-FIRST CENTURY

Although some call this century the Information Age, I believe at its core, it is the Energy Age. Just as the Internet and satellite systems have changed the nature of information exchange, lasers, acupuncture, and ultrasound as well as apps that read such things as high blood pressure¹ and the electrical activity of the heart are transforming medicine. Quantum physicists recognize that humans are energy beings living in a sea of energy. They acknowledge that solid objects are composed of both particles and waves. Biologists recognize the telepathic communication of animals, and psychologists have validated the ability of humans to intuit and communicate in this way. Furthermore, there is a growing understanding that certain places and people have a negative effect on the immune system while others seem to support well-being. Increasingly, scientists recognize that to understand ourselves, simply studying physical structure is often not enough; we must also study the patterns and flows of our intrinsic energy, which give rise to the physical structure. For this reason in our discussion of how to use pressure as a positive force, we will examine the physical, emotional, behavioral, and energetic aspects of who we are. For now, let’s begin by defining pressure.

Pressure Redefined

Imagine that in five minutes you will present a speech to thousands of people. In the audience are your boss, colleagues, family members, love interests, and everyone you would like to impress but may not even know. As you pretend, pay attention to your thoughts and what is going on in your body. Now let’s imagine that in thirty seconds you will take your place on the stage and the curtain will rise. From behind the curtain, you spot President Obama and the First Lady walking into the hall. Can you feel the rush? How would you describe what is going on now in your mind and body? Are you comfortable in your skin or would you rather be fishing?

Whether or not you like performing, being on stage usually calls up a great deal of energy. Common effects include sweaty palms, racing heart, wobbly legs, the inability to catch your breath, and an adrenalin rush that does not feel like it can be controlled or contained. More profound life experiences such as war, birth, the death of a loved one, and natural and unnatural disasters turn the barometer up exponentially. These experiences are so powerful that they sometimes shatter us.

Extreme experiences are not the only ones that call up energy; everyday occurrences may also push us off balance. Think about the promotion that didn’t come, the stack of unpaid bills, or the dates who said you were nice but not their type. Then again, think about the excitement you felt when the new client chose you, not your competitor; your first hot sports car; or the sudden realization that your creative idea is not only good, it rocks. It makes no difference whether these situations were good or bad, whether they were planned or sudden, acute or chronic, internally or externally driven. Each of them calls up energy through your mind/body/energy field. Some are big rushes, some are smaller flows, and some you may not even notice. Some may feel good and some may not. Nevertheless, in each experience, you are dancing with the pressure of life.

According to Webster’s dictionary, pressure is the “exertion of force (strength, energy, power) upon a surface by an object, fluid, etc. in contact with it.” Words, feelings, actions, situations, and environments contain energy or power that “exert a force” upon our mind/body system. Usually we think about pressure negatively as a weighted sense of concentrated energy that is pushing on us. “I want to see you in my office,” your boss says and, even if you have done nothing wrong, you just may notice your muscles tighten. Walk into a room where people are stressed and you’ll probably start feeling tense. Isolate yourself, and you still may feel the pressure created by your own thoughts or perhaps by a slight imbalance you can’t even name. We are constantly being affected by the energies we come in contact with whether we are aware of them or not.

Although we may seek pressureless environments to relax in or ways to distract ourselves from pressure, without pressure we may not have any drive or direction. Pressure then can be a very good thing. As exemplified by the earlier observation of Wayne Huizenga, sometimes pressure is a concentrated force of energy that propels us and generates high performance, keener perceptions, and an enhanced quality of life. It all depends on how we relate to it. Furthermore, one person’s pressure is another’s pleasure and vice versa. “I love cold calling,” a sales manager told me. “I love the hunt, the seduction, the win.” “It’s the least favorite part of my job,” another confessed. “I like to build relationships and build my business on word of mouth.” Pressure then is our personal experience of concentrated energy encountering our mind/body system.

High performance under pressure begins with celebrating pressure as the energy of life and the energy of change. When we ease away from the habit of trying to master life by controlling or resisting it, we transform pressure from an enemy into an ally. Instead of being our number one excuse for bad behavior, pressure empowers us to become the next best version of who we really are.

IT’S NOT THE PRESSURE, IT’S HOW YOU RELATE TO IT

Whenever we are faced with a task, energy in the amount equal to the job immediately streams through our mind/body system to help us accomplish it. If we align with and are open to this flow of energy, we experience a power and aliveness that allow us to accomplish our task efficiently and effectively. At these times, we become energized by our work. Some call this “being in the zone.” When we do not line up with this flow or when we resist it, we experience stress and are less able to perform. We may say then that the flow of life is like a river; the individual is a swimmer in it. When we swim with the current, it helps us; when we turn against the current, we feel stressed. What matters is not whether we are under pressure—we always are. It is how much pressure we are under and how we relate to it that matters.

The Conventional Approach to Handling Pressure

For those people ready to change their limited approach to pressure, modern medicine extols the virtues of diet, exercise, and meditation for reducing stress. If you’ve tried these approaches, you know they work. However, given our hectic schedules and the high-pressure world we live in, do they work well enough? The simple answer is NO.

First, they require us to take time away from work to practice them. For most of us, that’s unrealistic. We’re just too busy and most workplaces unfortunately still consider time away from the action as unproductive.

Second, the state of consciousness required for relaxation does not always transfer well to other activities or situations in our lives. For most of us, it’s too easy for the well-being we find in the yoga class to dissipate in the face of highway gridlock, and too easy for the balance and strength we discover in the gym to evaporate the moment we are taken to task by our boss. Why is that?

Stress reduction methods imprint a new neural pathway on the nervous system, but when you are under a great deal of pressure, it is likely to trigger your old reactive pattern. As it is a more deeply imprinted pattern, it is stronger than your newer response.

Furthermore, states of consciousness depend on the body and brain’s level of arousal, which changes constantly throughout the day. When we are fearful or excited, the brain processes information more quickly and our heart rate, sweat levels, and other autonomic activities speed up. When we relax, these rates slow. How we store and later retrieve memories is connected to these arousal levels. Therefore, we remember events best when we are in the same arousal state as when we experienced them. This makes the deep relaxation we experience in meditation, for example, challenging to access while in our everyday state of consciousness and even harder when we are very upset. It is as if a level of amnesia exists between one state of arousal and another.²

The Twenty-First Century Approach to Handling Pressure

However, imagine what you could accomplish if you were able to access different states of consciousness at will. Jim Dixon, a former Vietnam helicopter pilot and president of such companies as Nextel, Cellular One, and McCaw’s Southeast Region, as well as a student of aikido, shared his experience:

LEADERSHIP UNDER PRESSURE

Think about the leaders you most admire. Most likely, it’s not their authority, title, or even their intellect that makes you want to follow them. Instead, it’s their authenticity and ability to be masters of themselves even under the most turbulent conditions. Such leaders are not egocentric but choose to serve the greater good. Instead of being unmovable in their positions, they can take a stance while still maintaining an open-minded, spacious presence. These extraordinary leaders are focused, emotionally intelligent, decisive, and skillful in action. They inspire trust, engage, and uplift people because who they are, what they say, and how they behave are consistent. They don’t just talk about leadership; they embody it, even under pressure.

Mastering Leadership Under Pressure

Embodied leaders make these leadership qualities concrete. They become second nature, like a dancer’s surefootedness or a great athlete’s ability to swing the bat. As Dixon’s experience demonstrates, this allows you to bypass thoughts and emotions that can paralyze, weaken, or cause you to lash out inappropriately. It keeps your focus on what is important and opens you up to new choices and creative solutions. When you perceive experiences from an embodied point of view, sensory feedback is immediate, and intuition or gut feelings are heightened.

THE FIRST ESSENTIAL ELEMENT: AWARENESS

The first essential element for mastery is awareness. As the self-observer in us develops, we are better able to assess our inner resources and motivations and become alert to nuances and relationships among our experiences that we hadn’t previously noticed. In doing so, we are better able to compare our actions, including our habits, with our values and ideals. Thus, the first step in breaking free of habits that limit us is to identify our patterns, be they mental, emotional, behavioral, or energetic.

Insights, though delicious to chew on, do not necessitate change. Even when they generate new behavior, we often lack the energy to sustain the change. Just think of your New Year’s resolutions. For awareness to be most effective, your mind needs to partner with your body—the place of emotions, sensations, and actions.

THE SECOND ESSENTIAL ELEMENT: HERENESS

I call the ability to show up and be present in the body “hereness,” which is the second essential element. Here’s an example of what I mean: A number of years ago, I was hired to help an information technology team improve communication and teamwork. One particular meeting with this team stands out. I was facilitating a discussion between the three men and two women about what was preventing their department from becoming a learning organization. The meeting went on for thirty minutes, and it was clear they’d had the same conversation and made the same excuses many times: “Too much to do and not enough hands to do it … We don’t have time to learn … We are under too much pressure and have too many projects … Corporate doesn’t understand our situation and doesn’t take our needs into consideration…”

Larry, a team member, disagreed. He said everything was fine; they were not victims. The others agreed that they were not victims, but reiterated that there was too much work. They were stuck in blame, the self-defensive game.

Larry, having said his piece, had clearly disassociated himself from the conversation and was now sitting with his arms folded over his chest, leaning back in his chair. Similarly, Gene, the “I don’t say much unless it’s really important” guy, seemed to have shrunk into himself. The rest of the members continued the correct “corporate babble.” Only Marcia, the team’s leader, seemed to be alive and present. Occasionally, she voiced her frustrations, her vision of what was possible, and prodded others to come up with solutions. But there was little true dialogue and even less passion. Yet I knew these people cared about their work and each other. They were bright, well meaning, and very good at what they did.

How could it be that there were five people sitting at a conference table and all but one was not really there, and she was present only some of the time? In an attempt to jolt them into the moment, with my tongue firmly in my cheek, I told them of a new corporate policy that was sweeping across America: Only a person’s head may attend meetings; their bodies, hearts, and spirits must stay home. At first, they seemed to take no notice; they were really not present. I continued the tale, making it more elaborate and fantastical as I went. Eventually, faint smiles, and finally, a real breakthrough. Gene, who seemed to have visualized this image and found it amusing, sat up straight, took a breath, and smiled broadly. He appeared more alert, more present. At last, he spoke about his real feelings regarding the workload and his desire to grow. The others perked up as he spoke, and a deeper, more authentic conversation began.

To get to this place, you must shift your attention from your thinking mind—the place where you observe and evaluate action—to your mind/body where action occurs. Awareness of your body’s sensations, feelings, moods, and movements provides experiential information about how you are in the moment. As you fine-tune your internal listening and relax, your body naturally shifts to reflect that feeling. In fact, if you think about what you are doing, you tend to stumble or lose your flow.

I’m on the mat with my aikido teacher, Robert Nadeau. He attacks with a strike to the head. I counter and he falls. For an instant, while still holding his wrist, I shift my attention to check the results. Nadeau senses the opening, and … boom! … I am sprawled on the mat. “Did you get it?” he asks.

Musicians, dancers, and athletes are obvious exemplars of those who have physically learned and epitomize the knowledge and skills of their trade. However, in every profession, the best of the best have done the same. Practice imprints the new behavior on the nervous system. It does it so well that, research suggests, within thirty days you can call it up when you need it. Continued practice allows you to do it under increasing levels of pressure. Focusing your attention on your mind/body also increases your power of intuition and provides an internal “truth-o-meter,” so you can more easily sense when your decisions or the situations you find yourself in do not ring true.

If you are able to show up fully in certain situations but lack the awareness of how you became present, your extraordinary performance will be a random occurrence. Furthermore, without self-awareness, you won’t be able to translate your knowledge to other aspects of your life. I am reminded of a Grammy-winning piano player who, while at the piano, was so centered and grounded that inspiration and creativity poured through him. Away from the piano, he was needy, insecure, and lacked integrity, which showed up in his behavior. Without awareness of what made him so masterful at the piano and able to handle the pressures of performing, he floundered miserably in his life.

THE THIRD ESSENTIAL ELEMENT: SKILLFUL ACTION

Skillful action is an activity that produces results intrinsic to your success: in this case, your business success.

As Richard Strozzi-Heckler of the Strozzi Institute, an organization that offers training in embodied leadership, shared:

Skillful action arises from a clear mind/body intention. Since it arises from a connection with something larger than your ego, it provides a discernment that helps you choose between the many opportunities that life presents. Skillful action is impeccable because it increases your energy rather than tiring you. Skillful action is the manifestation of a harmonious relationship to pressure.

Once you learn to embody the basic elements of the map described in the Introduction, you will be able to translate it to any activity, situation, or relationship in your life. Thus, for example, instead of having to learn how to handle the pressures of public speaking, asking for a raise, or walking down a blind alley at night—three distinctly different experiences—you will have an internal map or template to guide you in moving skillfully through each of them.

Of course, that does not mean that you will never go ballistic or have a pity party again. Being human provides many opportunities to ride the emotional edge. In my experience, practicing the simple energy awareness exercises described in each chapter continues to create a new improved normal in my ability to respond when under pressure. Like a skilled musician who makes a mistake, I have learned (and am still learning) how to move quickly from the “oops” to regain my composure. With the understanding that we are all works in progress, here is the formula for mastery under pressure:

Awareness + Hereness = Skillful Action

The hidden gift of these high-pressure times is that they force you to confront the question, Am I running deeper or just faster? They compel us to take a clear look at how we define ourselves, what we value, the choices we make, the skillfulness of our actions, and how we keep ourselves stuck in familiar patterns that no longer serve us well. In good times or in bad, pressure offers the power to turbocharge and transform us into the next best version of who we are. Are you ready for the ride?