CHAPTER 20

Parting Thoughts

So, that’s it! You now have all of the tools necessary to create your own personalized 9-to-5 Cure! First, remember to create a lifestyle that is meaningful to you, making careful note of your priorities and then honoring them as much as possible. Second, be sure to take an inventory of your skills and abilities, surveying the landscape both online and offline for opportunities that are in alignment with who you are and what you value. When you combine those two core components, you create the formula that lets you live the life of your dreams!

You are ready to charge out into the world headlong. This is your moment. What are you waiting for? Get out there and start making some changes in your life. Begin by creating a list of dreams and goals that you have in mind as you near the end of this book—Patchworker-style! Develop the following goal sheet to reflect the direction you envision for your life from this point forward. Use it as a foundation for the action plan you formulate after you close this book and begin to chart your course for success.

Compare the preceding Patchworker goal sheet with the preliminary goal sheet you created in Chapter 3, “Charting a New Course.” Can you identify any shift in your goals or priorities when comparing the lists? Consider what those changes mean for your career and your life. Are you feeling more empowered now than you were when you picked up this book? If the answer is yes, then this book served its purpose.

My hope is that the chapters of this book have equipped you with empowering tools that allow you to embrace your true purpose as you charge out into the world once more. As you set out on your journey, I would like to leave you with a few parting thoughts about lessons I have learned as a veteran Patchworker. I share these with you so that you, too, may enjoy all that the 9-to-5 Cure has to offer and find your own path to true success and happiness.

Be Willing to Make Some Big Mistakes

Do you know what Scotchgard, potato chips, Coca-Cola, and Silly Putty all have in common? They were invented by mistake!¹ Each of these wonderfully successful products came about completely by accident while the inventors were focused on creating something totally different. The lesson for all of us in life and in business is to be willing to take risks and make big mistakes. The twentieth-century Irish novelist James Joyce once wrote, “A man’s errors are his portals of discovery,” a timeless statement that can readily be applied to Patchworkers who are willing to forge new paths and see where they might lead. “To boldly go where no man has gone before.” (Okay, so maybe this Star Trek quote is a bit over the top, but you get the idea.) Nothing is a waste of time if you use the experience to your advantage by evaluating and incorporating the lessons learned in order to leverage your future endeavors.

You must be willing to take action, test new theories, and be bold. Action is what separates the dreamers from the achievers. All of the famous business people of our time seem to believe this idea to be true as well. Take, for example, Conrad Hilton, American hotelier and founder of Hilton Hotels, who once attested to this very same philosophy: “Success seems to be connected with action. Successful people keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don’t quit.” Or the famous quote by Albert Einstein, who requires no introduction: “Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.” These two men and many other notable people in history all collectively shout to you, the reader, “Be willing to make mistakes!” Or, as Nike says, “Just do it!” Get out there and don’t let a few mistakes, big or small, along the way deter you. Learn and move on all the wiser.

Never Underestimate Yourself

Recently I came to the realization that if you pitted the philosophy of iconic cultural anthropologist Margaret Mead against the iconic American Dilbert cartoonist Scott Adams, it would be a draw. Mead believes “...a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world,” while Adams believes, “You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public.” Well, which is it? Perhaps both are correct.

Sometimes it’s difficult to estimate how intelligent decisions are when made by a group, hearkening back to the conversation about the scores of sometimes ineffective committees. Groups are complicated organisms. However, when it comes to making decisions independently, with no one else evaluating the decisions, it can be daunting at times. It is at those times that I remind myself what Wilma Rudolph, the first American female runner to win three gold medals at a single Olympics, once said, “The potential for greatness lives in each of us.” Her words are so true and serve as a helpful reminder on days when running your own business feels like a challenge too great for you (and there will be those days). Just like Rudolph, we all begin at the starting line and look toward the finish with a hopeful spirit. Sometimes we race around the track and enjoy an effortless lap; other times we stumble or face an unexpected hurdle. Whatever may come, the secret is to believe in yourself and keep your lifestyle by design at the forefront. You can achieve—just believe!

Cultivate a Community of Colleagues

Don Quixote said it best: “Tell me thy company, and I’ll tell thee what thou art.” Whom we choose to associate with makes a statement about us and shapes the way we see ourselves and the world around us. Choose wisely, especially as you venture into the world of entrepreneurship.

When you are struggling, the jackals in the business world can smell blood. They will try to welcome you into their schemes and invite you to join their pack in exchange for some easy money. Don’t do it. When you hit your stride and feel like the wind is finally at your back, well, that is when everyone else will come calling, asking you to spend money in order to optimize some facet of your business or partner with them in their own business ventures. Proceed with caution. Surround yourself with colleagues who are also in the startup phase of their own businesses and share information about all of the mundane but perplexing topics that new business owners need to know. Lean on each other. Share ideas. Laugh. Go out for coffee. Build a community of colleagues.

Likewise, seek out experienced entrepreneurs, including veteran freelancers, to mentor you. They can help you when you can’t see the forest for the trees. Because the dynamics of entrepreneurship are quite different from those of being a 9-to-5 employee, finding seasoned, self-employed guides is especially constructive. They understand the importance of marketing, daily operations issues that arise, and the emotional ups and downs of being the boss.

In her book Ten Things I Wish I’d Known—Before I Went Out into the Real World, Maria Shriver makes a strong case for cultivating mentors when they appear in your path. Mentors can be experienced guides that help you get to the next level in some aspect of your career, colleagues who excel in the same field, retirees who know what it takes to walk the same path that you are starting on, or someone else who can inspire and guide you. As Shriver mentions in her book, mentors may not always look or act like the sage you are expecting, so “keep your eyes open.”² Mentors can be long-term confidants or momentary counselors who appear in the right place and at the right time. Be on the lookout!

Mentors are extremely important not only for your professional development, but also for personal growth. “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with,” according to entrepreneur Jim Rohn, which means that you had better choose those five people carefully. It’s the same principle in many ways as a study in the New England Journal of Medicine that found that our friends influence our weight, with either fitness or fat spreading from person to person like a virus.³ Essentially, we look at our friends and set our own standards based on what we see, whether it is about our body image or our professional aspirations. We exchange ideas and share networks that help us refine our ideas, hear about new ideas, and leap ahead as a result. Finding like-minded mentors who also value the quality of their life is important for the same reasons. “The quality of your life is a direct reflection of the expectations of your peer group,” says motivational speaker Anthony Robbins, so choose wisely.

Go Easy on Yourself

Let’s face it; life is a bowl of cherries, and once in a while you’re in the pits. There is no way around it. Occasionally, we all have a meltdown. I’m not giving you no-holds-barred permission to walk into a client’s office and lash out at someone in a completely unprofessional manner. But I am saying that it’s okay if sometimes you need to take yourself out for a latte and rethink your life plan because you feel like the wheels have come off of the tracks. I’m telling you, thoughts like this are okay! In fact, they can be defining moments where, in a moment of clarity, you have the ability to see what is wrong with the current strategy and what you need to change going forward. These are opportunities to take your career to the next level.

Give yourself permission to feel confused, frustrated, or anything (and everything!) else once in a while. Cultivate acute awareness about your emotions related to work (and life); this will help you to further define what matters most to you as you design a career that matches your ideal lifestyle.

It will be those obstacles in your path that cause you the most grief, but remember that while you are not in control of them, you are in control of how you react to them. Don’t take my word for it; heed this advice from über-successful entrepreneur Mary Kay Ash, founder of Mary Kay cosmetics:

When you reach an obstacle, turn it into an opportunity. You have the choice. You can overcome and be a winner, or you can allow it to overcome you and be a loser. The choice is yours and yours alone. Refuse to throw in the towel. Go that extra mile that failures refuse to travel. It is far better to be exhausted from success than to be rested from failure.⁴

So be gentle with yourself on those days when you are frustrated and feel like chucking the whole idea of being a Patchworker. You will encounter roadblocks, and some of them will frustrate you, which is completely understandable. Once in a while you will need to vent your frustration on the golf course or the basketball court. That is perfectly normal. What you do after that, the way you handle your frustration, is what counts. It can define you. Choose to be a success—by definition.

Lead with Kindness

In some business circles, kindness is seen as a form of weakness. After all, there is any number of sayings akin to “It’s a dog-eat-dog world,” and we all fall for it. We believe that if we aren’t fighting for our piece of the pie, then we’re just not going to “win.” However, in my experience kindness pays dividends.

When you seek out forms of employment that are both a public service and a source of income, others are attracted to your business and are eager to support its mission and tell others about you. An excellent example of leading with kindness was demonstrated by the founder of The Body Shop stores, Anita Roddick. She introduced the idea of ethical consumerism that embodied ideas such as animal-free cosmetics testing and fair trade with so-called Third World nations. She said, “The end result of kindness is that it draws people to you,” which is a statement that I wholeheartedly agree with from my own experience in business.

For example, one area of my Patchwork business model is dedicated to serving senior citizens, and it has flourished with little effort, based mostly on the kindness of strangers who are eager to play a role in connecting this deserving group with quality services that just happen to be provided by me. It is a win-win for all involved, and it provides both emotional and financial fulfillment for me as well. Making money while you help people who are in turn grateful for the help and made happier by the services you provide is energizing. These happy customers sing your praises and spread the word about you to their family and friends. This word-of-mouth marketing is priceless and extremely effective.

A final note about kindness is a suggestion that you treat your clients like colleagues and friends. Ultimately, we are all just people who get up and work each day, longing to connect on a personal level with those around us. Although I’m not necessarily advocating that you become bosom buddies with every one of your clients, I would encourage you to learn about those things that matter most to your clients. Make a note of their birth date and send a card or give them a call on that date each year. Know the names of their children. Send them a thank-you note when they bail you out of a tight spot. Treat them with respect when they fall flat. Kind gestures go a long way and can cement your business relationship for the long term. Such gestures can also pay dividends in the form of feeling interconnectedness with your clients over time instead of leaving you with nothing but a series of sterile interactions.

At the intersection of our personal lives and our business lives is kindness. Mindfully demonstrating and cultivating it can determine how far we go and how we feel throughout the journey. Cultivating kindness is a valuable part of the business of life.⁵

Be Willing to Apologize

Apologies don’t come easy for some people, especially in the business world. In the world of work, people are constantly posturing in an effort to dominate in some way, and an apology just doesn’t fit neatly into that paradigm. However, in the world of Patchwork you do have the opportunity to shape your reality. You have the chance to let down your guard and apologize when you mess up. And apologizing can pay off.

If you think there is little economic value to be gained from apologizing, consider how it’s paying off for the hospital system at the University of Michigan. In a radical departure from the status quo of “denying and defending” complaints, hospital officials began sitting down with patients and their lawyers to talk. In many cases, the doctors apologized directly to the patients for harm, and hospital administrators and lawyers were there to bear witness and quickly settle legitimate claims. This practice satisfied patients to such an extent that malpractice suits dropped by more than half. What the hospital administrators learned was that in some cases, patients just wanted the wrongdoing to be acknowledged, and barring a conversation, the courts were the only way that they could feel heard.⁶ Think about the economic savings garnered by dropped suits, including lengthy and costly litigation. This has been such a successful model of savings (and decency) that hospitals all across the country are jumping on board the apology bandwagon.

Apologizing is economically viable and, in fact, can be critical to the success of your own business. For one thing it is far easier to take responsibility for your own bad behavior and begin to repair the existing relationship you have with a client than it is to drum up a brand-new customer. As a Patchworker, it is especially important to protect your integrity because much of your business may derive from referrals. Apologizing can demonstrate your maturity, honesty, and ability to handle a difficult situation well, which in turn may actually increase the employer’s opinion of you.

Remember that mistakes will happen; they are inevitable. So have the strength and the courage to swallow your pride when it really matters and take responsibility for your actions.

Stay Positive

Happy people make it to the finish line. You just can’t keep them down. I’m one of them. I am not naïve, but I am the eternal optimist. A positive attitude has its place in business, especially when you are a Patchworker. For one thing, clients like working with a positive person. After all, who wants to call up a grouch and invite him or her to join the team? Happy people draw others to them like a force of nature and, as a result, are more likely to close the deal. Also, people with positive attitudes are more memorable; they leave lasting impressions on the decision maker.

Your attitude should be an essential part of your brand, causing decision makers to conjure up positive images of the last time they worked with you, which may cause them to call you with subsequent offers. It can be a critical component of what drives the momentum of your business and also what drives you. With that in mind, give yourself permission to protect your time to occasionally enjoy the finer things in life that remind you about why you chose this lifestyle. For example, if you are working on an ongoing project that can wait an extra day, give yourself the day off to hit the links and golf eighteen holes on an unusually gorgeous summer day. Those moments will remind you of how wonderfully free you are to live your life on your own terms, and moments like these will feed your positive attitude for many days to come. These moments help to keep you feeling positive about your work, your lifestyle, and yourself, and positive people see reality differently from those who are negative or neutral.

Positive people can see the possibility in the impossible. They have boundless energy that thrusts them far ahead of their exhausted, stressed-out counterparts. This translates into people who can think more creatively, get more done, and, as a result, excel above and beyond the average person. In other words, “The positive thinker sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible.”⁷ A positive attitude is underrated.

Keep Making Forward Progress

As you embark on your own journey of Lifestyle Design and Patchwork Principle earning, I wish you great success—however you define it for yourself. To make the 9-to-5 Cure work in your own life, just remember that at its core the Cure is simply a method for defining what it is that you want from your work and your life and then making small, calculated moves in that direction. Your direction may change over time as you reevaluate what it is you want from your work and your life; it is a continual process that marks your forward progress.

The Japanese call this Kaizen. It literally translates to “improvement,” and, just like the 9-to-5 Cure, it has applications across both your personal and professional lives. In a business context, Kaizen is translated more specifically to mean “continuous improvement,”⁸ which goes right to the heart of the 9-to-5 Cure: Strive to continually improve in small but meaningful ways in order to serve yourself and your clients well. Constantly test and improve yourself, your business, and your lifestyle in order to keep growing. Stay focused and remain in touch with your heart’s deepest desires. Be brave. Take risks. And most importantly:

Work on purpose—always.

Endnotes

¹ Charlotte Foltz Jones, Mistakes That Worked (New York: Doubleday, 1991), back cover.

² Maria Shriver, Ten Things I Wish I’d Known—Before I Went Out into the Real World (New York: Warner Books, 2000), 33.

³ Gina Kolata, “Obesity Spreads to Friends, Study Concludes,” New York Times, July 25, 2007, www.nytimes.com/2007/07/25/health/25iht-fat.4.6830240.html (accessed August 16, 2010).

⁴ Scott Allen, “Quotations from Famous Entrepreneurs on Entrepreneurship,” About.com, http://entrepreneurs.about.com/od/famousentrepreneurs/a/quotations.htm (accessed August 23, 2010).

⁵ Simran Khurana, “Kindness Quotations,” About.com, http://quotations.about.com/cs/inspirationquotes/a/Kindness4.htm (accessed August 30, 2010).

⁶ Richard McGill Murphy, “Why doing good is good for business,” CNNMoney.com, http://money.cnn.com/2010/02/01/news/companies/dov_seidman_lrn.fortune/index.htm (accessed August 30, 2010).

⁷ Sam Davis, “5 Quotes on Positive Thinking,” Ezinearticles.com, http://ezinearticles.com/?5-Quotes-on-Positive-Thinking&id=4384791 (accessed August 30, 2010).

⁸ Creative Safety Supply, Kaizen in the workplace, booklet, www.creativesafetysupply.com/Kaizen.pdf (accessed March 16, 2010).