Principle 3

Getting Your Family's Support

The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.

—Henry Ward Beecher

In this chapter, you will learn how crucial it is to get your family's support on your venture. We are not talking about extended family. We are not talking about Mom and Dad, Brother and Sister; we are talking about your spouse. From the start, even before the start, you must include your family in your business. After all, think about what you're going to put them through! While you're visualizing how you'll spend your first million, your family is afraid of the unknown. Tell your husband or wife everything. Your spouse needs to know what you're planning, what he or she should expect, and any sacrifices your family will have to make.

For example, your spouse needs to know there won't be a guaranteed paycheck every week, no eight-hour workdays, and that your family's credit score may take a big hit. Your family needs to commit to supporting and encouraging you in this new venture for five to seven years. If they make this sacrifice, then they'll benefit from the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow that follows every storm. Getting your spouse's support may mean the difference between success and failure in your business. It almost goes without saying—family support is essential.

Additionally, in this chapter you will learn how the wealthiest man in the world, Bill Gates, included his wife in his business model and why you also need to keep your spouse involved.

Credit Score

The two words above are probably the single two biggest roadblocks that prevent people from pursuing their dreams. A credit score paralyzes people with fear. Why? Because we are taught early on that the single most important thing in life is to keep a “perfect” credit score. I was taught that as well. Well, let's probe this idea a bit further. The reason why people want a perfect credit score is so they can one day pursue the American Dream: buy a house (debt), buy a car (debt), and secure a good education for their kids (usually also means debt).

The reason why I find this belief so humorous is that I too shared this philosophy for so many years. I had a perfect credit score of over 800 when I was laid off at 9/11, and then I started investing heavily into my own business. Once I lost the six-figure day job, I got behind on bills and hence no longer had a perfect credit score. Banks will make you believe that if your credit score is below 600, you are not a good person—you are a bad person, a failure.

I have come to believe that is all a bunch of bullshit! Recent studies suggest that 55 percent of American adults (over 110 million) have bad credit. Who cares? As far as I am concerned, it is just a number. Today, bad credit is as common as having blue eyes or being born on an odd day of the month. I could care less what your credit score is. I am more concerned with the goodness of your heart than the number on your credit report. What a dinged credit score tells me is that you are an entrepreneur, a risk taker, a visionary, and someone who is trying to build and create something for the greater good of all humanity. I do care about your visions, your goals, your destiny, and your higher calling in life. Those are things far more important to me when considering whether I choose to do business with someone. I am sure if you were to ask all of the entrepreneurs alive today about their credit history, they too would admit that it has been up and down over the years.

What I mean is that your credit score has nothing to do with who you are as a person, your level of success or failure in the future, or whether you are a caring, forgiving, honest, contributing member of society. The opposite is true . . . perhaps having a lower credit score means that you have dreams, that you took action, that the successes didn't come as quickly as you anticipated, so you ended up getting behind on your bills a little bit. Big deal! In the end, you become an Affluent Entrepreneur worth millions, and hire all those people with perfect credit scores to work for you while you sit on the beach or travel the world and build your empire. Donald Trump has filed bankruptcy as a business strategy. Do you think he has a perfect credit score?

In truth, your credit score does not mean a damn thing if you pay cash for all of your purchases! It is just a number, just like your Social Security or driver's license number. Who cares what the number is if you have all the cash in the world at your disposal. Furthermore, having good credit just gives you the ability to borrow money to buy things you cannot afford to buy without cash, leaving you further in debt. For example, if you make good money and have a perfect credit score, you can go out and get a car loan and buy an $80,000 Mercedes Benz; now sure you have a nice car, but you are stuck with $80,000 in debt and a monthly payment of $1,000.

Another example: You are making good money and have a perfect credit score, so you go out and purchase a million-dollar home; now you live in a nice home, but you are stuck with an $7,500 per month mortgage payment. More debt, less freedom!

My point is that while you should do everything you can to meet your financial obligations, pay all of your bills on time, and keep a decent credit score, don't feel that if your credit has been dinged, you are a failure. You are not. The systems that track credit are actually protecting you from buying things you really can't afford and keeping you from getting more in debt.

Bottom line, the Affluent Entrepreneur is one who pays cash for everything and only truly buys things he needs! There are two exceptions to this rule: One, he can use OPM (other people's money) as a tool to buy the things he needs, wants, or desires; and two, the Affluent Entrepreneur borrows money to purchase appreciating assets such as real estate.

Coming to Terms with Your Spouse

When you or your spouse are thinking of starting a business or getting into business with someone else, make sure that one of the two of you keeps her nose to the grindstone and keeps the day job. What I mean is that it will not work in many cases if both the husband and the wife are pursuing new ventures simultaneously.

One of you should keep your job, while the other one is freed up to pursue the business. However, do what you can to ensure that all of your family's needs will be met with that one income. In doing so, either you or your spouse will have the extra time and energy to build a business while the other keeps their job. Perhaps you don't read about it in books or see it in the movies, but the most successful entrepreneurs are the ones who kept their family intact in both times of scarcity and abundance.

I remember how challenging things were after I was laid off from my high-tech sales job and I started making the transition to full-time business owner. At times, it was very difficult for our family to watch our perfect credit score get dinged, but my family has always been there, supporting my career pursuits every step of the way. I remember a conversation I had with my father when I was explaining how challenging things got financially when I lost my job after 9/11.

My father looked me in the eyes and said, “Fight like hell to keep your family together; it is the most important thing in the world!” I will never forget his words of wisdom. Today, of all my accomplishments in life, I am most proud of the fact that my family has always been there to support my entrepreneurial pursuits.

At one point early on in our transition, I got behind on our mortgage payments. So much so that my family and I ultimately had a “Come to Jesus” talk. We had been living in our family home for about eight years at the time. Unbeknownst to me, my family was tired of the house. So we decided to sell our home, take the money from it, and pay off all of our credit card debt. We did just that, and then we found a beautiful home on the golf course; it was a one-story rambler within walking distance to the beach and the ferry. Also because it was on the golf course, it was a very quiet place to live. We couldn't afford to buy it right away, so we did a lease option on the home, and within two years, we finally purchased it. We eventually sold the golf course home and now live in a new oceanfront penthouse condo on the south end of Bainbridge Island. Through the process, I have learned the secret to a happy family. That secret, if applied to your relationship, will make for many, many more happy years to come. It is simply that a happy family equals a happy life.

Happy Family Equals Happy Future

Have you ever found yourself in a position where your spouse continues to give you a “Honey-Do List”? Well, in my family, it is no different. My favorite is when I am watching an NFL game on TV and one of my family members comes up with some project to do, such as cleaning the fridge or some other painstaking task around the house.

Well, after we purchased our rambler on the golf course, we learned that, as a result of the frequent use of the fireplace, the chimney needed to be cleaned to eliminate the creosote build-up on its inside. I had never cleaned a chimney before, and I certainly did not have the tools, time, or energy to complete such a task. For months and months, my family was constantly after me to get it done. And because we were living on a budget, a chimney sweep just wasn't in my financial plan. See, all along I assumed it would cost $500 to $1,000 to get the job done.

Several months went by, and I still had not completed this item on the “Honey-Do List.” As a result, I was always extra careful when making a fire in the fireplace. On January 16, 2007, it was my son Jacob's twelfth birthday, and he invited five boys over to spend the night. Being the good dad I was, I ordered several pizzas for the boys. I hung out with the boys in the family room where the fireplace is located and watched them play video games. Finally around midnight, I decided I should probably clean up the mess since it would be nice to wake up the next morning to a clean home. I picked up the leftover pizza boxes and took them outside to the garbage; wouldn't you know it, the round garbage can was full. And even if it hadn't been full, it would not hold a square pizza box. I've always thought pizza boxes should be made round to fit into garbage containers, or garbage cans should be made square to fit pizza boxes.

Being the rocket scientist I am, I decided to go back inside with the pizza boxes and simply throw them in the fire and watch them burn. Problem solved. Well, not so fast. Before I disposed of the three or four pizza boxes in the fireplace, I let my yellow Lab finish off any extra pizza toppings still left in the box. In doing so, I couldn't help but notice how much grease there was left on the pizza box. Having taken chemistry in both high school and college, I should have known better than to toss the greasy boxes into the fireplace, but I tossed them in anyway. I was amazed by what happened next.

To my surprise, after a few short moments of watching the boxes burn, I suddenly heard, “Thump. Thump. Thump.” It sounded like the plastic container at a bank drive-thru as you send it back to the teller. Yes, you guessed it; a similar process happened with the pizza boxes. They were being sucked up the chimney. I prayed they would burn quickly without causing a problem.

Then, I heard the chimney start to roar. It got louder and louder, as if I were standing at the end of an aircraft carrier listening to the planes prepare for takeoff. I leaned over, put my head as close to the fire as I could, looked up the chimney, and saw that the entire top of the chimney was on fire. Boy, did I wish I had invested in a chimney sweep at that moment.

Meanwhile, the boys were all still playing video games, completely oblivious to the ever-increasingly dangerous situation. The others remained asleep in their bedrooms on the other side of the family room. So I rushed outside as fast as I could to assess the situation. Once I got out into the front yard, I looked up at the roof to see what appeared to be miniature Fourth of July fireworks spewing forth from the top of my chimney.

I realized now that my house's chimney was completely on fire. For a moment, I thought the obvious solution was to call 911. But that would waken my family, and I would hear grief from them for years to come about how I didn't get a chimney sweep as they had requested on the “Honey-Do List” for the past several months. The last thing I wanted was for my family to wake up and for my foolish actions to ruin Jacob's birthday party.

So I did what any guy who had not listened to his family would have done. I ran as fast as I could back into the house and grabbed the ladder and a hose. I turned on the hose, rushed to the side of the house, and then climbed up the ladder with the hose. I sprayed and sprayed water all over the top of the chimney and into the chimney. After three or four minutes, I had succeeded in putting out the chimney fire. Then I stayed up on the roof to hose everything down for another five minutes while grimacing from how badly the burnt pepperoni pizza boxes smelled.

When I was sure the fire was out and would not start back up, I rushed back into the house, fully expecting to find the water that came down the chimney all over the place. To my surprise, there was no water anywhere—it had all evaporated in the fireplace's flames. Furthermore, my son and his friends had remained so involved in their video game that they had no clue there had even been a chimney fire. I figured if they hadn't seen it, there was no reason for me to mention it, so I left them to continue enjoying the birthday party and video game.

Being the responsible father I am, I snuck into the bedroom, and I went into the closet to access the pull down attic ladder. Just as I did so, my other son rolled over and asked, “What is that god-awful smell?” I replied, “One of the boys must have burnt some pizza in the microwave.” He quickly went back to sleep while I climbed up into the attic with my flashlight to rule out any chance of a new fire starting up in the attic. What I discovered was that our fireplace was completely encased in large stone, so it would be virtually impossible for fire to get into the attic. I went back downstairs then, snuck out of the bedroom, and went back to the family room where I let the fire in the fireplace naturally burn itself out—I was certainly not going to add any more wood to the fire.

By now it was 1 AM, and the boys were getting ready to sleep on the family room floor in their sleeping bags. Being a responsible father, while the boys slept I stayed up in the family room watching SportsCenter. Three hours later, with everyone soundly asleep, I knew the risk and danger were virtually eliminated so I went to bed.

The next day being Sunday, we had a fire again in our fireplace as we cheered on the Seahawks on the big screen TV. (After all, I couldn't not build a fire and let anyone suspect what had happened. I was a bit nervous about building the fire, but fortunately, the previous night's incident was not repeated.) Finally, Monday morning I immediately went to the yellow pages, looked up chimney sweep, and found AAA Chimney Sweeps. (By the way, that is a brilliant name because it ensured the company top alphabetical placement in the yellow pages.) I called the company, set up an appointment, and by that afternoon, they had come out and spent two hours completely cleaning out our entire chimney and getting rid of all of the creosote. Then the representative gave me the bill: $99.00.

That was it! I couldn't believe it. All that time spent worrying about where I was going to find another $1,000 in our family budget. I had risked the health and safety of my family and my son's friends for a mere $99.00. I felt like an idiot!

I share this story with you for this reason: What items are there on your “Honey-Do List” that your spouse has been after you about for months and months? I challenge you to respect your spouse and do what he or she has asked you to do! That's the least your spouse deserves when you consider all the support he or she will give you to become an Affluent Entrepreneur.

Family Must Be Your Top Priority

I remember several years ago in my early days of studying wealth, I read an article in Reader's Digest that listed the top reasons why many people never achieve wealth. One of the top reasons was divorce. Let's face it; when you are married, you are paying one mortgage or rent payment, one cable bill, one Internet bill, one power bill, one homeowner's bill, one tax bill, and the list goes on and on.

Once divorced, both you and your ex-spouse now need to cover all of the bills individually and with half the income you previously had as a family. The money aspect is still just the small part of the difficulties. There's the issue of the children. Where will they live? How will they respond? What long-term detrimental effects and scars are they left with due to Mom and Dad splitting up? I can't tell you how many adult friends I have today who have a screw or two loose, and when digging deeper into their personality and early years, they all describe how their parents' divorce messed them up for five years or more.

Affluent Entrepreneurs keep family as their top priority; they do not cheat on their spouses or abandon their children. The Affluent Entrepreneur does what my father encouraged me to do during my family's tough financial years: “Fight like hell to keep your family together!” As an entrepreneur, the most important product you bring to this world is your family. It doesn't matter how successful you are in business if you are not successful with your family!

For this reason, I am grateful to have successfully raised two wonderful sons. God willing, I am excited that someday my boys will have families of their own. I am so proud of my boys, Sam and Jacob, and of the young men they are becoming.

Recently, I read another book by one of my all-time favorite authors and speakers, Og Mandino. In The Choice, he concludes that we all have a choice in life. We have a choice to be faithful to our spouses, a choice to keep our children as a top priority, and a choice in business to be our own successful entrepreneur. Og states that having a happy family is like experiencing a “premature heaven on earth.”

Summary

Sooner or later, every entrepreneur learns that family is always more important than money. My goal in this chapter was to help you understand how to communicate with your spouse to gain his or her support in your entrepreneurial ventures. Let's face it; being an Affluent Entrepreneur without the love of your family by your side is ultimately a sign of failure.

Keep your spouse in tune with the risks at hand, and warn him or her if financial storms are soon to come. Finally, reward your spouse's loyalty to you and your vision once the storm has passed and life gets back to normal. Every entrepreneur is sooner or later going to deal with financial ups and downs, and the more you include your spouse in this rollercoaster, the stronger your marriage will be. The stronger your marriage, the stronger your relationship will be with your children.

As your business grows and succeeds, if your spouse is a willing participant, you may decide to include your spouse as part of your business (if it makes sense to). I am inspired by how Bill and Melinda Gates have come together as a family and as a foundation to make the world a better place. I challenge you to do the same by taking part of your profits and giving them back to those in need so you can do your part to create a greater good here on earth.