Get Family Members on Board
Usually, one family member must lead the way when it comes time to get organized at home. Seldom does everyone in the household realize the need for change at the same moment—and it’s even less likely that the whole family will have the same level of motivation. Following are things you can do to encourage family members to join in and get organized with you.
Remember that change begins with you. To move your household toward a new and organized life, you’ll need to set the standard yourself. Get your own act together before you ask for change from others.
By working on personal goals first, you’ll bring the benefit of personal experience to the table when it’s time to involve the family. With firsthand knowledge of the stresses and successes on the road to change, you’ll be better able to craft household-wide solutions that will work for everyone.
Setting a good example inspires and empowers others. If family members see the benefits of the changes you’ve already made, they’ll be more willing to take on new ways of living to continue the trend. The rewards you’ve reaped can motivate other family members to join you on the organizing bandwagon.
Finally, making a good start for yourself before asking the household to join you heads off those demoralizing fits-and-starts organizing cycles. Nothing immunizes family members against change more than having each get-organized effort fizzle out shortly after it’s imposed! When you commit to the process first, you’ll be prepared to follow through when it’s time to bring the family on board.
Consult, Don’t Confront
When you’re defending hard-won changes in the household’s routines, it’s easy to come across like a drill sergeant when faced with a resistant family. As tempting as it is to call a whole-house meeting and lay down the law, try to resist the urge to be confrontational. Instead, claim the role of organizational consultant.
As a consultant, focus on helping family members identify problems and create solutions. If there’s something in it for them, they will be much more likely to cooperate—and when their own concerns take center stage, motivation is right behind.
Consultants listen as much as they speak; their goal is to draw both issues and answers from the client. In a family, too, you’ll reap much more investment in proposed changes when you actively solicit input from others. Don’t tell, just ask! Keeping an open mind can lead to solutions where you least expect them.
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ROAD HAZARD |
Family members may share your house, but that doesn’t mean they’ll share your unique organizing style. Stay sensitive to differences in clutter tolerance, filing style, and time sense when crafting household organizing solutions. There’s no such thing as “one size fits all.”
Establish Household Routines
Just as choreography keeps dancers moving in unison, household routines help family members live together in an organized way. By spelling out necessary tasks and setting the sequence for carrying them out, household routines make expectations clear and reduce confusion and conflict.
For example, telling a youngster “Go clean your room!” becomes an exercise in frustration when neither parent nor child agrees on what constitutes “clean.” Establishing a list of specific clean-your-room chores—stack stuffed animals on the bed, carry dirty clothes to the laundry area—puts all parties on notice of the standard and the steps necessary to meet it. With a routine in place, everyone understands what needs to be done and when he or she needs to do it.
Use a problem-solution approach when establishing household routines, tackling them one issue at a time. Whether it’s getting out the door on time in the morning or tidying up the family room at night, work with family members to develop a short list of tasks that will solve the problem. Focus on carrying out the new routine until it has become a normal part of family life, and then move on to the next challenge.
Also bolster accountability by documenting routines and posting them publicly. Chore checklists and children’s star charts make the routine’s steps clear while keeping your voice out of the enforcement picture.
Finally, reinforce new routines by pairing them with a reward. An arrangement as simple as “Once all the toys are picked up, it will be time for a story!” goes a long way to sweeten the nightly request to clear the family room floor.