In This Chapter

When working with people to get things done, it seems like half or more of the time you’re not necessarily in a position of authority. The people with whom you’re working may not report to you, may not be responsible to you, or actually may not give a hoot as to what you’re seeking to accomplish.

In this chapter, we’ll examine a variety of ways you can exert influence without necessarily having authority based on your job position. Conveniently, these methods work more than fine when you do have authority via your job position.

Four years and seven score ago, Abraham Lincoln said to “win a person to your cause, convince him that you are his true friend.” By that did he mean you’re supposed to feign friendship? Did he suggest that you can only elicit cooperation and participation when others regard you as a true and lasting friend? Did he imply that unless you were liked and or respected, you won’t be able to win others to your cause?

“D,” none of the above.

Inducing others to be on your side or to participate with you in some way when you can’t otherwise compel them to do so, in part requires them having some degree of affinity for you, what you’re seeking to accomplish, or the situation itself. Robert Cialdini, professor of psychology at Arizona State University, who has studied persuasion for more than two decades, says, “Though we don’t always realize it, we’re more likely to be influenced by people we like or identify with.”

In his book, Get Anyone to Do Anything and Never Feel Powerless Again, author David Lieberman states that “how someone feels about you is greatly determined by how you make them feel about themselves. You can spend all day trying to get them to like you and to think well of you, but it is how you make them feel when they are around you that is the key.”

Hmmm, have you given any thought lately to how peers, co-workers, or staff feel when they are around you? Or are you too concerned with how you feel when you’re around them?

Lieberman refers to a process that he calls “reciprocal affection,” that essentially means that when we find out that someone else thinks well of us, we are unconsciously driven to think that person is more likeable as well. It is simply human nature to do so. When those individuals whom you want to influence are aware that you like and/or respect them, given that you truly do, you increase the probability that they will like and/or respect you as well. From there, all kinds of things are possible.

Amazingly, mercifully, you can induce people to like or respect you even when you’ve known them for a while and the relationship hasn’t gone well. Lieberman poses the question, “Who says you can’t get a second chance at a first impression?” If you did something completely inappropriate, by leveling with the other party, such as by saying “I feel so embarrassed,” you open the door to future participation and cooperation.

Studies show that leaders of countries, from a U.S. president to the leader of a small and distant sovereignty, achieve higher approval ratings when they own up to their blunders, however grave they may be, as opposed to attempting to whitewash them.

At work, when you’re willing to admit to a previous faux pas, you win psychological strokes that reduce people’s barriers to participation and cooperation. Not that you want to go around and do this as a ploy, nevertheless it’s fruitful to understand how and why people are persuaded.

Bert Decker, who wrote You’ve Got to Be Believed to Be Heard, says that “people buy on emotion and justify with fact.” If you’re old enough to remember President Jimmy Carter, you may recall that his primary approach to influencing others was to appeal to their intellect, using logical explanations and rational thought. The only problem with this approach is that people first need to be won over emotionally.

David Lieberman remarks that 90 percent of the decisions we make are based on emotion. “We use logic to justify our actions,” says Lieberman. “But if you appeal to someone on a strictly logical basis, you’ll have little chance of persuading them.”

Carter’s predecessor, Ronald Reagan, knew how to appeal to people’s emotions. For openers, he smiled a lot and the smiles seemed sincere. When seeking to influence others, he told stories, relied upon many facial expressions, and injected personal warmth and magnetism.

When people were primed and ready, Reagan then would deliver the rational portion of the argument. He’d hold up a chart or refer to some statistic. By waiting until he had first made the emotional connection, he was then able to make the logical connection.

Bert Decker succinctly observes, “If you don’t believe in someone on an emotional level, little if any of what they have to say will get through.”

Reagan was deemed a more effective presenter, and for that matter, a more effective president, than Carter among media pundits from all sides of the political spectrum. Today, Carter’s speeches are all but forgotten and his presentation style is emulated by no one, whereas Reagan is referred to as the “Great Communicator.”

The aforementioned Robert Cialdini is a pioneer in the study of persuasion and has made breakthrough discoveries. He poses the question, “Have you ever purchased a product or service that proved to be of little value, or have you ever voted for an issue which, upon reflection, you’re not truly in favor of? Of course you have! We all have, but why?

“Even the smartest people fall prey to sophisticated persuaders,” says Cialdini. He has identified several ways in which one can tap powerful instincts within others to both influence and persuade them.

When another person does a favor for you, even a small one, do you feel obligated to offer some favor in return? Cialdini conducted a study where restaurant waiters delivered the bill for the meal along with two free mints for each diner. The results, all things being equal, were that tips increased by 14 percent.

At work, if you offer to help someone, say in another department, and then in two weeks, a month, or two months later you ask them to help you, their inclination rises markedly. Certainly, people are often helpful simply for the sake of being helpful and undoubtedly you have both given and received help under such circumstances. However, when you need the help of others outside of your direct authority, relying on reciprocity will work as well as anything.

More than 70 years ago, Dale Carnegie proclaimed that when a person does a favor for someone else, the person doing the favor tends to have positive feelings toward the person he helps. Doing favors for each other increases the likelihood that both parties will have a more favorable regard for the other.

What about those individuals within your organization, or outside of it for that matter, for whom you’ve already done favors? What about those people who have done favors for you within recent memory? Right now, the people in these two groups represent the universe of individuals whom you can most readily influence, even if they are not under your job-related authority.

To increase your circle, do more favors for others and request more favors from others. In each case, proceed with sincerity and a genuine desire to help. Thereafter, don’t be surprised if your ability to get things done in participation and cooperation with others rises significantly.

Residents of a neighborhood were asked to sign a petition supporting a charity for the disabled. Two weeks later they were asked for contributions for that charity. Double the funds were collected from that neighborhood than in previous campaigns. “Most residents dug more deeply into their pockets,” says Cialdini, “because they wanted to be consistent with how they responded to the petition.”

Consistency is also known as “buy-in.” Induce people to commit in small ways to a product or service, a charity or cause, or even an idea, and later it will be easier to get them to commit to a greater degree. In the workplace, and specifically in your career, if you have an idea that you wish to put into action, or simply a project that you wish to complete, rather than trying in one motion to influence people to jump in wholeheartedly, instead seek their approval on some minor component of what you’re attempting to accomplish. Thereafter, you’ll have less resistance to their participation at a higher level.

You might divide up your appeal into steps, although apparently, inducing one or two small incidences of buy-in will be sufficient. Inducing buy-in, or applying the consistency principle, ties into another tool of influence, social validation—the “band-wagon” effect.

You’ve been exposed to social validation techniques since you were knee-high to a CD player. Every time you watch a television commercial, you see images of happy, smiling, satisfied people whose lives have improved dramatically as a result of using the product being advertised.

When you watch an infomercial and the voiceover says, “Our switchboard is jammed, please call back in a few minutes,” this is a not-so-subtle way of conveying that the item for sale is in such demand that other viewers can’t wait to make a purchase.

Yeah, right …. Nevertheless, people are notably influenced by what other people are already doing.

Cialdini refers to a study conducted by the City University of New York which revealed that when a single person on the street stared up at the sky, only one in twenty-five passersby looked up. When several people were staring at the sky, nearly 20 of 25 passersby looked up to see what the group was looking at.

In the workplace, particularly when you are not in authority, if you have already won over others on your project, the act of inducing others can be easier. The small group of advocates you have won over—as a result of exchanging favors, or otherwise inducing them to buy—increases your odds of getting still others to jump on the “band-wagon” to wherever you are leading it. Your converts can serve as missionaries, selling others on your ideas. Actually, this is how all religions start.

When you visit the doctor’s office for the first time and see a wall-full of degrees, licenses, and diplomas, even if you know nothing else about that physician, you have been fairly influenced. Similarly, when someone comes into your office to repair the copier or some large, complex piece of equipment, the fact that he or she is wearing a uniform with the manufacturer logo or insignia increases your readiness to trust that person, even if you have never worked with him or her before.

Whether or not you have a position of authority, in influencing others in the workplace you can increase your level of perceived authority by displaying appropriate symbols and trappings. What would these include? Certainly, if you have any degrees, licenses, or diplomas, put them on the wall. If you’ve won awards, been cited for any reason, have received plaques and such, display those as well.

The initials after your name, such as Ph.D. or MBA, or a professional certification such as CPA (certified public accountant) or CMC (certified management consultant), work well. Granted, these degrees, awards, and designations may take years to earn, unless of course you’re buying them online, but some people who have them, for whatever reason, downplay them.

What academic and professional distinctions and kudos have you earned that you are not employing to optimal advantage?

Beside degrees, awards, and designations, other ways to establish your “authority” quotient are to get published in magazines, journals, newspapers, and even your own organization’s in-house publications.

Writing articles for publication is a proactive strategy for establishing your career. If you’ve ever considered writing an article but hesitated, be assured that it’s not as difficult as it may seem. Most publications routinely edit your material. They’re far more interested in receiving interesting themes and concepts submitted by people with the right qualifications.

Regardless of your field, you undoubtedly have information that will be of interest to your peers or clients. Don’t make the common mistake of thinking, “Who would want to read something written by me?” That’s a defeatist and unrealistic attitude. With thousands of magazines, newspapers, journals, and newsletters in print, and web-related publishing opportunities, several million bylined articles appear in the United States alone each year. A significant number of those are by first-time authors.

All other things being equal, if you’ve had a couple of articles published, you’re better positioned to influence others than someone who hasn’t. In a nutshell, getting published …

Thereafter, appropriately displaying or circulating reprints will further add to your air of authority. You may find that the benefits of getting published can continue for a surprisingly long time.

Speaking to groups, even if they are groups outside of your organization, ultimately will enhance your status as an authority within your organization. Bruce Barton, an American congressman in the mid-twentieth century, once said, “In my library are about a thousand volumes of biography—a rough calculation indicates that more of these deal with men who have talked themselves upward than all the scientists, writers, saints, and doers combined. Talkers have always ruled. And they will continue to rule. The smart thing is to join them.”

What you say may be less important than the fact that you are able to say it with confidence. Others will pick up on your knowledge and devotion to the issues at hand and regard you as an authority figure.

At the most basic level, as you improve your speaking capabilities and your level of self-confidence—the two generally go hand-in-hand—you register a notable impact among those you encounter on the job. Even if you don’t actively pursue opportunities to speak to groups internal or external to your organization, increasing your level of self-confidence has a succinct and highly favorable effect on others, particularly others you wish to influence.

Self-confidence and lack thereof is the difference between a chocolate cheesecake and Jell-O. Self-confidence is a prerequisite to influencing when you do not have job-related authority because you become a more appealing employee and co-worker, and hence your likeability factor rises.

One of the fastest ways to increase your level of self-confidence is to learn from and emulate those who already have it. Dr. Judy Kuriasky, a New York-based psychologist, says, “Imitation is, after all, a key to learning. If you’re attracted to self-confidence in others, it’s a good bet that you have the capacity for greater self-confidence in yourself. That which we like or envy in others usually reflects our own values.”

Imitation is a major part of learning in our early years of life but can still work well in adulthood. Simply identify the people around you who seem to have the attention of others, and watch how they behave. Is it how they work, what they say, or how they carry themselves that attracts attention? Select one small behavior at a time and emulate it.

Self-confidence comes from feeling that you deserve to have and be what you want. A confident person writes a project proposal that says, “My project will accomplish xyz for our organization.” A less confident employee says, “My project could accomplish xyz,” phrasing that potentially communicates the employee’s own doubt.

Confidence means taking a positive approach that rubs off on other people, causing them to view you as more appealing, whether you work on software applications, in accounting, or with a forklift in the warehouse. Others around you will sense your confidence and buy in to what you are selling.

Whatever you do on the job or in your personal life, you are more likely to do it well if you expect to succeed than if you expect mediocrity or failure. While others are consumed by self-doubt, belief in yourself and your ability to generate workable solutions to nagging problems can be one of the strongest weapons in your arsenal.

Self-doubts compromise your appeal. Worse, it’s difficult for you to effectively market yourself. It’s like trying to sell a product you don’t believe in. Your doubt hobbles your efforts, ultimately sabotaging your efforts.

So much of what we do, both at and away from work, is in cooperation with other people. When others sense that you are confident, they want to be around you, support you, and even be like you. Conversely, people tend to avoid someone who is continually worried, hesitant, or skeptical.

Too often in the workplace, many co-workers know next to nothing about one another. Conversant people are more likely to be viewed and treated as confident people. Getting to know the people around you will make it easier later to approach others with a project idea or to ask for a favor. A self-confident person attracts fellow employees and creates positive partnerships within the company, thereby strengthening the overall fabric of the workplace instead of weakening it.

When you dwell on your mistakes, they can drag down your positive attitude. Instead, try to regard them as lessons, stepping stones to a higher vantage point from which you can obtain more knowledge and wisdom. Be glad you’ve learned a lesson and seek to avoid making that mistake again.

Becoming confident is not about perfection; confidence is about recognizing your ability to achieve your goals and weathering the occasional storms along the way. Consider everything you typically accomplish in a day—even the small tasks. When you add it all up, you may be surprised at the length of the list and complexity of the tasks.

Perhaps you have capabilities and skills you hadn’t previously acknowledged or valued sufficiently. Don’t think all is lost if the big victories elude you for now. The smallest achievements can provide solid building blocks for increased confidence and appeal. From there, effectively influencing others is well within your capabilities.

The Least You Need to Know