Spirit communication brings you messages that you need to know—some that you’ve always wanted to know, and some that you didn’t realize you wanted to know. Sometimes the meanings are obvious. “I get it!” you exclaim.

Other times the meanings are obscure, even enigmatic. They can be like puzzles for you to solve to reveal the pictures they present, or like the children’s games in which you move squares around in slots, horizontally and vertically within a frame, until you get them all into just the right position and then a recognizable scene or image emerges. To make sense of spirit messages, you have to “get” the picture, even when it comes to you in fragments.

Spirit communication can be like going to a therapist … only more. It can be like an all-night, depths-of-your-souls conversation with a best friend … only deeper. It can be like waking from a dream and knowing exactly what its symbolism means … or knowing the dream was important but not being able to figure out its meaning.

Often, your spirit contacts will be with those you knew on the earth plane who have passed to the higher side. They are familiar to you, and this familiarity makes you more receptive to communication from them. Just keep in mind that people don’t change that much just because they pass to the higher side! If someone was, shall we say, less than brilliant in his or her earth plane existence, don’t expect to receive great insights from this spirit on the higher side to rival the thinking of Elizabeth Tudor or Albert Einstein. If Uncle Fred couldn’t keep track of his money during his life on the earth plane, he’s not going to become a Rockefeller on the higher side. But Uncle Fred might have other insights and knowledge to share with you—and you may just find the information he gives you astonishing and profound.

Interpretation of spirit communication starts, of course, with the medium who is receiving the messages. It is through his or her filters—belief system, level of development as a medium, other talents and knowledge—that spirit messages must pass first. On the one hand, this is a clear limitation: You can only receive information that is within the scope of the medium’s background and knowledge to deliver. On the other hand, however, this is a benefit in that it focuses the information in ways that make sense to the medium and to you.

The image the uncle described was of the healing light coming into the place where the young man, a dowser, did much of his healing work. The experience was particularly moving because such healing would have been totally foreign to the uncle in his physical life, as would have any praise or recognition.

In many respects, making sense of spirit messages is like interpreting dreams. Spirit messages are often very symbolic; symbolism is one of the most primal and at the same time most powerful means of communication. Symbolism transcends the boundaries (such as language, culture, and belief systems) that divide people on the earth plane as well as the barriers between the earth plane and the spirit plane.

Each medium has a structure of symbols that spirits use in communication through that medium. Gold might represent riches and wealth in the symbolism dictionary of one medium, while for another it represents opportunities as yet unfolded. A good medium knows his or her symbols, and can present to you its meaning rather than the symbol itself. Always evaluate and assess the information you receive within the context of your life and its realities. Sometimes you need to reinterpret the message from the medium so that it fits your life.

If you are receiving spirit communication directly, just let the information come to you rather than try to interpret it as it’s coming through. Remember that sometimes spirits struggle, too, to make sense when they communicate! The limitations of the earth plane can cause a spirit to fumble for just the right images and presentations. Once spirits find the best bridge of communication that links to you, messages can have astounding clarity.

As you explore and develop your own mediumistic abilities and psychical skills, it’s a good idea to keep a journal of the symbols that appear to you consistently. They might include certain sounds, smells, or sights. Or they might include numbers, words, colors, or objects. Write down the symbol, and then a brief description of its context. Over time, this will become your personal dictionary of symbols.

As we say throughout this book, it’s the details that make the difference. It’s easy enough for a medium (or a spirit contact) to say, “Your father liked to watch football on Sunday afternoons.” Not much of a stretch to make that fit many people’s lives! But it’s another thing entirely to say, “Your dad loved those Green Bay Packers! He never missed a home game at Lambeau Field, and God help anybody who moved his ‘cheesehead’ from the rabbit ears antenna when the away game was on television!”

It is the details that give our lives meaning, and it is the details that provide evidence of the continuity of life beyond physical existence. It is the details that prove, beyond a doubt, that you are communicating with Uncle Jordan or Aunt Ruth or your cousin Stephen who drowned when he fell through an air pocket in the ice on Lake Michigan. And it is the details that let you know that these are valid experiences, these are authentic messages, and these are feelings you can trust as true.

Sometimes the message comes through loud and clear, but you can’t recognize the spirit communicator. It might be someone in your distant family, or it might not be whom you expected. Dig a little to find out how this message is relevant to you!

Early in her spirit communication experiences, Rita was sitting in a circle with a British medium who did not know her or anything about her. He said to Rita, “I have an uncle here for you, his name is Yekah.”

The medium gave a lot of detailed information about this uncle, but it wasn’t anyone Rita recognized. Because many members of her mother’s family had not come to this country, Rita called her mother to see who this spirit visitor might have been. She started by asking her mother to name her brothers.

“There’s Morris and Mosha,” her mother said, and then asked Rita, “What are you trying to find out?”

Rita told her mother of the experience with the medium, and gave the information that the medium had provided. “Yes, Uncle Yekah. He was my uncle!” Rita’s mother said.

Even though it took some research to understand the message, it was a message that had great meaning for Rita on multiple levels. It gave her information about her life, and it absolutely affirmed the continuity of life. The only way this medium could’ve received this information was through spirit, as Rita hadn’t even known this uncle existed.

Sometimes during your reading with a medium, a message will come through for you to deliver to someone else. This is usually because you are willing to listen and are open to the communication, while the intended recipient is not. Many times, it is to say “I’m sorry, it’s not your fault,” to make amends, and sometimes just to say “I love you.”

A woman in Rita’s congregation was sitting with a medium when a message came through for a childhood friend, Martin. It was from a mutual friend, Carl, who had committed suicide after being arrested for drinking in public. Carl went to jail, while Martin ran away and escaped arrest. Carl hung himself in jail, and Martin had carried the burden of guilt ever since, over not being there to prevent it.

The message was from Carl to Martin, telling Martin it wasn’t his fault. Carl had been depressed for a long time, and had committed suicide because of his depression, not because he’d been arrested or because of any sense that Martin had abandoned him. “It’s not your fault,” Carl wanted to say to Martin. He chose their mutual friend for expressing this, because she was open to the communication and Martin would accept the message coming from her.

Sometimes messages that come through from the spirit world seem confused, unhappy, or even dark. Remember, though, that we want all spirit communication to come to us for the highest good. Messages might be painful because they stir old resentments and hurts. But this is the path to healing such wounds, for you and probably for the spirit bringing the messages to you.

Rita had a man come to her for a reading, hoping to find guidance from the higher side. His mother was getting ready to pass, and he and his brother were having heated arguments about how to handle all of the arrangements. It was his grandmother who came through, a kind and gentle woman. She wanted to communicate directly to her grandson, and she said, “You have many good and right things to say, but you need to learn how to present yourself differently, so people will listen and take you seriously.”

Many messages that come through spirit communication are deeply emotional. They are messages that convey apology, forgiveness, comfort, and most importantly, love. They touch us in the deepest cores of our beings, sometimes uncovering both pain and joy we didn’t know were there. This is one way we know that these messages are authentic. They’re so personal that there’s no way anyone could fake them!

But once stirred, these emotions are powerful and intense, and can make you feel quite unsettled until you are able come to grips with them (especially if you are one who keeps your emotions to yourself). Deeply emotional experiences on the earth plane tend to be clearly defined by time: a wedding, a funeral, a birth of a child. Deeply emotional experiences activated from the spirit plane often extend across conventional borders of time and place, touching many dimensions of your life simultaneously. It can be overwhelming to feel such intensity.

If you are planning a reading with a medium, schedule it for a time when you will be able to deal with the emotions that might arise. Try not to do it on your lunch break from work, if possible! Although the intensity of your feelings might startle you, it’s perfectly normal. And it’s what allows healing to begin.

After a reading (or any spirit contact), take some time for yourself, to think about the messages you received and begin to understand their meanings. You might want to:

Keeping a journal is a good way to explore your experiences and feelings about spirit communications. It’s just for you, so you don’t have to worry about spelling or grammar or any of that. Writing with a pen or a pencil on paper causes you to use different parts of your brain than other forms of communication do, which helps you see things from a different perspective. The following exercise lets you explore a message you might have received from a spirit contact:

Judy came to Rita a week before her birthday for a reading. This was Judy’s first birthday since her mother’s passing the summer before. Her mother, a baker, had always created elaborate birthday cakes to celebrate family birthdays. Because this was just a part of who her mother was, Judy had never appreciated these cakes, which were truly works of art. So now Judy wanted to contact her mother to say “I miss you so much, and I want to thank you.”

Rita started the reading, and quite quickly established a connection with Judy’s mother. After presenting Judy with the identifying information that confirmed this was indeed her mother, Rita said to Judy, “Your mother is presenting you with a white cake and white frosting for your birthday.”

Judy smiled and said, “That’s very sweet, but you must be mistaken. My mother would never have made me a plain white cake with plain white frosting while she was alive, and I can’t imagine that would be the message she would choose to send now.”

So Rita continued with the reading, presenting Judy with a variety of messages from her mother that ranged from “I’m glad you married Jed, he’s a good man,” to “I like your new hairstyle, it really accentuates your eyes.” Judy was delighted with this communication from her mother, and told Rita it was just like sitting in a room having a chat.

But Rita kept getting the message about the white cake with the white frosting. Finally, Rita said to Judy, “Your mother is very insistent about this white cake with the white frosting! She wants to present this to you in honor of your birthday.” Rita didn’t know that Judy’s birthday was coming up.

At first, Judy just sat there. Then her face turned pale and she burst into tears. Judy’s mother had really liked to bake, and always insisted on making gourmet cakes for family celebrations, but Judy had always begged for just a white cake with white frosting! The experience was very affirming and comforting to Judy because she knew her mother was really there and finally hearing her.

Communication, spirit or earthbound, is not always clear or consistent. When in doubt, ask! Spirits aren’t intentionally mysterious or enigmatic; they want you to understand the messages they are bringing. Sometimes, however, they just aren’t able to communicate in ways that make sense to you. Of course, communication on the earth plane has its challenges, too—so much so that we might think of each other as being from different planets!

Is the confusion coming from the spirit? A spirit who was not especially articulate while on the earth plane, or who has been on the higher side for a long time (measured in earth plane time, of course), might struggle to find the right images and symbols. Sometimes, the symbolic language is different between the communicator and the medium. It’s fine to say, “I don’t understand. Can you put it another way?”

Is it the case that the medium seems to understand the message, but is having trouble conveying it to you? The message might be clear to the medium on a clairsentient level, but difficult to translate into language that communicates the message to you. It’s like trying to squeeze a baseball-size orange through a one-inch tube. You might succeed, but although what comes out the other end might smell and taste like an orange, it isn’t going to look anything like the orange it started as! Again, ask for clarification. Rita always tells people to let her know if there is anything they can’t relate to, and explains that she will ask her guides for clarification.

Sometimes it’s us who don’t get the message, or we interpret it in ways that are different than the spirit bringing the message seemed to intend. This is especially likely to be the case when the message is counter to a long-held belief or resistance. If all of your life you viewed your father as distant and uninterested, you’re naturally going to resist messages from the other side that are attempting to communicate his love for you.

It could be that the message isn’t authentic; perhaps this isn’t really your father but another loved one who might have looked or sounded like your father—a grandfather, brother, or uncle. Or it could be that your father’s spirit has evolved enough on the other side to want to reach out to you to make amends. You should be able to get enough identifying information to determine which is the case. (See also “Desperate Illusions” in Chapter 10.)

Sometimes spirit messages are so revelatory that they become turning points in your life. When you gain new understanding and insights, great. Let these insights guide the changes you make to restructure your life, and you have truly learned through spirit communication.

Just remember, however, that spirits don’t usually come through to say, “Invest in Microsoft and move to Denver.” Before you make a major life change, consider all of the ramifications, all of the pros and cons. Then make your decision based on all of the circumstances of your life. If you hate your job, have no one depending on you for support and sustenance, don’t like the weather in Phoenix, and just inherited $100,000 from Great Aunt Delia, then you might want to buy some Microsoft stock, quit your job, pack your things, and move to Denver. Don’t make a major change in your lifestyle, though, just because a medium or a spirit tells you to. This is your life, and only you should make the decisions that shape its direction.

Welcome the messages that come to you through spirit communication for the understanding and comfort they can bring to you. Accept the learning and the healing that comes to you from the higher side. Through spirit communication, you often can find answers that have otherwise eluded you.

The Least You Need to Know