“I had the weirdest dream last night ….” This must be one of the most common morning greetings in the English language! It sets the stage for what you know is going to be a presentation of events that defy logical understanding. And yet it’s a phrase that intrigues us all, because we all have “weird” dreams. By listening to the dreams of others, we hope to learn more about what our dreams might mean—or at least to feel secure in knowing that everybody has dreams that don’t seem to make sense.

The dream state is a mysterious existence. Some say it is one that allows the soul to roam freely, unconfined by the parameters of reality as they define consciousness. When you dream about a loved one who has crossed over, could this in fact be a spirit visitation? The dream state also offers a natural doorway for spirit communication. The filters of your conscious mind are at rest, unable to block signals they otherwise would restrict or reinterpret. This leaves you receptive to the messages these signals might bring.

We talk about the dream state as if it’s a place we can go to, like we might think of going to California or New York. The journey holds the promise of exciting adventures that will take us beyond the realm of our everyday lives. It’s a little scary, sometimes, but we can calm our fears by reminding ourselves, “It’s just a dream ….”

What happens during the dream state? The earliest written records speak of dreams and their mysteries. In many cultures, ancient and modern, dreams sometimes represent visitations from the divine of your belief system. Some cultures believe that the soul leaves the body during dreaming to visit a special world in which it actually lives in dreams; to wake someone during a dream, according to this belief, is to risk severing the soul’s connection to the body. Modern psychology looks to dreams as providing insights into your concerns, worries, and fears.

From your body’s perspective, the dream state is as essential as sleep itself. There are two clear stages of sleep, REM and NREM, that cycle throughout the time you are asleep. Your body starts a sleep cycle by drifting off into NREM sleep, during which all physical functions become quiet and still. Not even your eyes move, which is why this is called the “no rapid eye movement” stage of sleep. About 90 minutes into NREM sleep, your brain suddenly wakes up—you are dreaming!

During REM (rapid eye movement) sleep, your eyes move rapidly behind your closed eyelids, as though watching a movie. Although your body generally is still, your brain is as busy as when you are awake. Over the course of an eight-hour sleep, most people cycle through four or five REM stages. Each tends to be longer than the one preceding it. The first REM stage might last five to 10 minutes, while the last one can last an hour or longer. This is partly why you are more likely to remember the last dream of your sleep—it’s usually the longest, most detailed, and most vivid.

Sleep studies show that the REM stage of sleep is essential for your body to feel rested. This suggests that dreaming has a physiological importance; that is, your body needs not only to sleep but also to dream so that it can restore itself.

One theory about the importance of dreaming views dreams as “data dumps” for your brain. During your waking hours, your brain collects and processes a seemingly endless volume of information—stimuli from your physical senses, your thoughts, your emotions, the functions of your body. Your brain somehow processes everything you encounter while you are awake, even if you are unaware.

Because the vast majority of this collected content has no context, it doesn’t really qualify even as information. Your brain has no idea what to do with it, quite literally, and so it stores it away. When you begin to dream, the conscious parts of your brain that keep this data “behind the scenes” ease their control, and these fragments begin to float, as it were, into the parts of your brain that process thought. As you sleep, your brain then shapes these floating fragments into images that you perceive as dreams.

Within the framework of this theory, or viewpoint, there is nothing more to dreams than a discharge of electrical energy. Dreaming is a “clearing” of your brain’s circuitry, preparing it for the next day’s data collection. Rather like a computer’s hard drive, your brain collects and then discards data in a cycle tied to waking and sleeping.

From the framework of psychology, dreams allow you to experience and understand emotions and feelings that you don’t address during your waking hours. Within this context, the content of dreams takes on symbolism that is personal to you. By writing down your dreams or talking about them, you can begin to see the patterns of your personal symbols and relate them to events and emotions taking place in your life. In this framework of interpretation, dreams seldom mean what their images suggest.

We’ve all had bad dreams, nightmares from which we wake up scared and shaking, sometimes not certain if we’re still dreaming. The content and images of nightmares also are symbolic, generally representing major fears or worries. Some cultures believe that dreams are an altered state of reality, and if you can work out your lessons in the dream state, you don’t need to work them out in the waking state. If you are afraid of an issue or person and can face your fears in the dream state, you don’t have to work them out when you are awake.

You might think of nightmares as the ultimate “working through.” We can interact with our dreams, making contact with the visions that appear there. Whenever something disturbing happens in a dream, you can immediately surround yourself with a “safety zone,” and remind your dreaming self that you are safe. Then you can question your “dream” actors as to their purpose in your nightmare and confront them if necessary. “I don’t want this to happen anymore. Stop! Tell me why you’re here!” You might be surprised at how effectively this ends the nightmare (and what answer you receive to your question!). If you can do this, you are working through your concerns. Rita’s husband has strict instructions not to wake her if she appears to be having a nightmare! If you aren’t used to interacting with your dreams, think about the issues upon waking, and the fearfulness of the dream will dissipate as you begin to analyze what happened in the dream. See more on interacting with your dreams later in this chapter.

The father of psychoanalysis, Sigmund Freud (1856-1939), held that dreams revealed repressed desires (often sexual), and that dreams were the “royal road” to the inner sanctum of the unconscious mind. His book, The Interpretation of Dreams, published in 1899, was a groundbreaking work that attempted to explain dreams in the context of waking experiences and unexpressed thoughts and wishes. Analyzing and interpreting one’s dreams, Freud believed, was the route to understanding one’s needs.

Psychotherapist Carl Jung (1875-1961), initially a student of Freud, viewed dreams as the unconscious mind’s efforts to convey messages to the conscious mind, often by tapping into what Jung termed the collective unconscious. The collective unconscious, Jung said, is a vast repository of shared human experiences—all shared human experiences. Because of its vastness, we connect to it through universal symbols Jung called archetypes. Archetypes represent a range of interpretations; the key is identifying those that are relevant to you within the context of your life experiences.

Dreams, according to Jung, are a direct link to the collective unconscious. What we remember from the connection, upon waking, we perceive in the form of archetypes. As author James R. Lewis succinctly defines in his book The Dream Encyclopedia (Visible Ink Press, 1995), “archetypes … predispose us to unconsciously organize our personal experiences in certain ways. Archetypes are not concrete images in the collective unconscious. They are more like invisible magnetic fields that cause iron filings to arrange themselves according to certain patterns.”

Archetypes are icons of human experience that you must then apply to the specifics of your life experiences. They might appear in dreams to explain past or current events, or to provide glimpses of the broader context of your life mission and your soul’s journey. Common archetypes and their representations include the following:

Jung further connected dreams to mythology, observing that despite the many and varied mythologies of world cultures from ancient to modern times, common themes—in the form of archetypes—emerge that link them. He speculated that mythology represents the efforts of the conscious mind to organize the information received through dreams into structures (stories and belief systems). As universal symbols, archetypes permeate nearly all aspects of our modern culture, from character representations in movies, books, and even the comics to the symbolisms of astrology and Tarot.

Esmirelda, December 1989, oil on canvas. Rita asked to see the spirit guide who works with her when she reads Tarot cards. An old Gypsy woman revealed herself as Rita’s inspiration.

As symbolic representations, archetypes appear in spirit communication. Remember from earlier chapters that we’ve talked about developing your personal dictionary of symbols. Archetypes can help you understand the deeper meanings of some of these symbols by giving them a universal context.

Archetypes are useful only to the extent that you can connect the universal knowledge and understanding they represent with the events and circumstances of your own life. This representation can by physical, emotional, and spiritual. A technique called free association is a good method for gaining understanding about the archetypes and symbols that appear in your dreams as well as in spirit messages that you receive (directly or through a medium).

Free association is easy to do. Get some paper and a pen or pencil. Find a comfortable place to sit, where it is easy for you to write and where you won’t be distracted.

Do this exercise regularly to build a foundation of understanding about what archetypes mean to you. Not every dream element has extended symbolic meaning, of course. Over time and with practice, you’ll come to easily identify those that do.

The dream state is particularly conducive to spirit contact and spirit visitation. When you dream, your conscious mind eases its control over what you think and perceive, allowing you to be more open. This happens because the dream state is the closest to an altered state from waking consciousness that most of us achieve on a regular (daily!) basis. So it’s the easiest way for a spirit loved one to contact you. You might not know whether you’re dreaming; the dream may feel more real, more vivid than usual—as if it has actually happened. It’s common to see deceased loved ones and to receive messages from them in the dream state.

There are many times that a spirit will visit you in the dream state. There is a very different feeling when this happens than when you just dream about the person. It feels real, and it makes sense. Six months after Rita’s father passed, her daughter came running into her bedroom one night and said, “I was dreaming but I know I wasn’t dreaming, and Poppa was in my room.”

Rita held her daughter, and asked her how Poppa was. Her daughter said he was fine. Rita asked, “Were you worried about him?” Her daughter replied that she was. Rita told her daughter, “You know, he probably just came to visit you to let you know he was okay, because you were so worried.” Her daughter smiled, gave Rita a hug, and went back to bed.

You can intentionally invite spirit entities to visit you in your dreams. If you have situations that you didn’t resolve with someone who has now passed to spirit, you can resolve them through visiting in spirit in the dream state. Or you can just reconnect with a loved one, for the joy of experiencing the connection again! The following exercise can help you initiate a dream visit with Spirit:

Joseph had problems with his father throughout his life. When his father passed to spirit, Joseph was afraid these problems would never be resolved and he was left with a feeling of need because there was unfinished business between them. So Joseph did this exercise. The first night he felt nothing. The next night he tried again, and this time was a little forceful in his intent.

Joseph said, “Dad, I’ve waited 39 years to speak to you. I want to speak to you tonight in the dream state.” The next morning, to Joseph’s surprise, when he tuned into the situation with his father he felt total peace. He didn’t remember the dream, but every time he thinks of his father now, he feels content.

When you wake up in the morning (or if you wake up during the night after a dream), write as much as you can remember about your dreams in your dream journal. Did you dream of the person you were thinking about when you fell asleep? Did it feel like you and this person were enjoying each other’s company?

Don’t be discouraged if you wake up and remember dreams that have nothing to do with the spirit loved one you hoped to contact, or if you remember nothing at all. Spirits, you recall, are not always willing or able to respond when we want them to. Just be patient, and keep trying.

Your past lives are always part of you, and sometimes your dreams give you the opportunity to connect with them. Famed American psychic Edgar Cayce (1877-1945) taught that when you are looking at a past life dream, the way you recognize it as such is that everything in it is in context. If you are dreaming that you’re walking down the street in 1840 in Kansas, you are not seeing a red Corvette drive by! The roads are dirt, not pavement. Clothes and surroundings are appropriate for the period; nothing is out of context.

Do you wake up from an intense dream and know, just know, its message is vitally important … then fall back asleep and remember very little in the morning? How frustrating! If you’re interested in exploring the meanings and messages of your dreams, you can’t rely on memory. You need to keep a dream journal.

A dream journal doesn’t have to be anything fancy, although many bookstores sell very nice dream journals and blank journals that you can use to record your dreams and your thoughts about them. A plain old spiral-bound notebook will do. You might want to keep a notepad and pen at your bedside so you can jot down dreams when you awaken from them, and later transfer the information to your dream journal. Use your dream journal to record …

Keeping a dream journal gives you documentation of your dreams so that you can go back to look for common themes and symbols.

Can a dream be, well, just a dream? Do all dreams have hidden meanings and messages? What about dreams that seem so literal they are like replays of the events of your day? Dreams often have multiple layers of meaning that extend from the literal to the symbolic. Sometimes a dream is just the events of your day, bubbling through your subconscious mind so they can break free and disperse. Other times, a dream brings you a specific message or insight.

Symbolism is the language of dreams. Dreams, like thoughts, move in fluid images. There is no sense of time or the structure that time imposes. There are many books available on the subject of dream interpretation (Appendix B lists a few that can get you started).

Some symbols have common meanings (that may or may not be archetypes). Water, for example, often represents the emotions. It can also suggest significant change and transition (“sea change”). Dreams of death, dying, and being killed are common and frightening, but generally represent transformation and “letting go” of something that has been part of you or your life for a long time. Other times, dream symbols have particular meaning for you. You might always dream about driving on a highway that never turns, goes up, or goes down whenever you find yourself in a rut in your work or your life. The best way to identify your personal dream symbols is to keep a dream journal in which you record elements of your dreams and your thoughts about what they could represent or mean. Over time, patterns will emerge that will help you identify your unique dream symbols. Personal dream symbols often fit within archetypes or common dream symbols.

Here are some common dream symbols:

It’s unnerving to wake from a dream that a friend was in a car accident or that a fire swept through the apartment complex where your sister lives. Such events are within the realm of possibility, and indeed often appear as news stories. How do you know if these kinds of dreams reflect your fears and worries or are foretelling disaster?

The first step is to write about the dream and any surrounding circumstances that you can recall. Did you fall asleep with the television or radio on, perhaps listening to a news report of a car accident or an apartment building fire? Did you read about one in a newspaper or magazine earlier in the day, or even a few days ago? If so, it could be your worries at work that manipulate your dreams. Writing about why these events worry you can help you reach insight about them.

So many people dream of a disaster in the family and then it happens. It’s common to be afraid that the dream caused the disaster in some way or to just be frightened when you recognize that you’ve had a precognitive dream. Don’t be afraid! Spirit is trying to give you information so you can be strong for other family members, to make sure there is someone who will not be in shock and can take on the position of strength and leadership that coping with disaster requires.

If there don’t seem to be external influences, pull out your dream journal and look for other dreams like this, either in subject matter or symbolism. What were they? How are they similar and how are they different? Have you had premonitionary dreams before? If so, what does this dream have in common with those dreams?

In the end, it doesn’t hurt to call your friend and ask him to be especially careful when driving today, or to phone your sister to remind her to check the batteries in her smoke detectors. You might never know whether you helped avert a disaster, but you will feel better that you acted on a potential warning.

Whether in spirit communication or situations you are trying to work through, you can consciously interact with your dreams to get more information from the dreams or to work out events, trauma, or situations with other people. Did you ever wake yourself up from a dream? Most people have. Earlier, we talked about working through issues in nightmares by surrounding yourself with a “safety zone” and then confronting the situation or person creating anxiety for you in the dream. You can do this with any dream that you’re curious about.

If you can wake yourself from dreams, then you can learn to consciously interact with the dream. Work up to this level of participation in your dreams by first writing your dreams down in your dream journal. Then, when you have a dream you are curious about, invite a “clarification” the next night when you go to sleep and see what dreams come to you. Eventually, you’ll be able to interact with the dream while it is occurring.

In a dream that is a spirit communication, allow yourself to interact with the visiting spirit as though you were in the same room—which, really, you are. If you have questions or seek information, ask. This is an ideal opportunity to try to work through lingering concerns or issues that you still might have with the person. You don’t always remember these interactions, although you will usually feel more calm about the issues after the dream takes place.

The Least You Need to Know