“We cannot solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them.”

—Albert Einstein¹

Einstein merely figured out the theory of relativity; you're solving the larger question of who you're going to become. You have deleted negative bugs from your hard drive; on a now‐clean disc you can apply principles of courage in doing what occupies most of our waking hours—communicate. To be more accurate, I should say: we attempt to communicate.

Communication works better when we do it intentionally instead of casually tossing words about like they were someone else's money. Well‐capitalized companies are at existential risk when they must rely on search engines to find the right words to lead and treat people as people instead of things. Pro football teams tank because owners fall into corporate‐speak and miscommunicate with general managers as GMs misfire with head coaches, and coaches are too stressed to listen to their players. Then come families, needy friends, and the media. That's why teams, politicians, and organizations hire public relations professionals to speak for them.

In a context of courage, are there Plays to connect people, keep them linked and cut down the natural sparking of conflicts? When discord happens anyway—after all, we are talking about people—are there courageous communication Plays to help us address them in practical ways?

Rather than sparking discord and aggravating existing antagonism, are there ways that we can lessen the chance of conflicts before they erupt? Instead of accelerating the damage produced by conflict, can we lessen their harm once they've begun? Instead of retreating in sullen anger and hostility, can we repair broken relationships and strengthen others in the aftermath of conflict?² This is Courageous Communication, or CourCom. It is a new level of thinking to solve a problem of our own making.

It relies on one premise and two Playsets.

The premise and operating assumption is that we always start and end with Unconditional Positive Respect.

Our first Playset is Basic CourCom. This enables us to become spellbound listeners, solve problems effectively, and not do harm in everyday interactions.

Our second Playset is CourCom for Conflicts. Here, even in a dumpster fire, we can synch up with the other person to truly connect when it really counts.