Rule 5
Don't Waste Energy on Those Who Don't Get on Your Bus
One guy can't make your team, but one guy can break your team. Spend your time with the people putting in the hard work, and take responsibility for getting the others off the bus.
—Bill Bottoms, VP of Operations at immixGroup
Even though you invite people onto your bus, the reality exists that not everyone will want to get on. Not everyone will have the right energy and mindset or share your vision. Some may not want to go where you want to go. Some may even ruin your ride if they get on. Rule #5 states, “Don't waste energy on those who don't get on your bus.” That is not always easy, but it is completely necessary to be a successful driver. It is a commitment you must make to your positive passengers. If you invest too much energy worrying about those who do not support or believe in the vision, you'll waste energy that could be fueling your success for the road ahead.
Discover How to Avoid Wasting Energy
Answer the following questions to help you not waste your energy on those who don't get on your bus.
- Have I truly done everything I can to share my vision and create excitement for the road ahead? Once you can answer yes with confidence, you've taken the first step in preparing for those who won't choose to get on your bus.
- Think of a time when you wasted energy on a teammate who refused to get on your bus. What damage did this do?
- What's the best thing you can do when someone refuses to get on your bus? Why?
- Does rejection hold you back and keep you from taking risks, or does it inspire you to get better? Which is the more positive mindset?
- How can you not let rejection keep you from asking more people to get on your bus?
Don't Waste Your Energy: Team-Building Activities
See Ya Later
Helping your team prepare for the reality that some people will not get on your bus is a valuable activity. One leader got his team together and asked them to break into pairs to discuss how they would handle it when people did not get on their bus. He called it the “See Ya Later” activity. This was meant in a kind way. It was to deal with the reality that all leaders and drivers have to face: Not everyone will get on your bus.
So, what do you do next? How do you handle it? What do you say? Why is it important to the other members of the team to be prepared for this reality?
In this activity, the pairs discussed these important questions and came up with a short approach for when it's time to say “See ya later” to anyone that decided not to get on the bus. Each pair shared their approach with the team. The team then discussed the different ideas presented and came to agreement on some of the approaches they thought would work best. The result was a few bullets that the team agreed were positive ways to have a discussion when someone decided not to get on the bus. The team said this made them feel empowered and focused on the positive road ahead. This activity also reminded the leaders that they were there to protect the committed, positive people on the bus from the negativity of those who did not want to be there.
Many teams I work with agree that the best approach to this situation is a simple one. You genuinely wish them the best on their journey and be clear that you are letting them off at the next bus stop in a professional and kind manner. Team members recognized the value in being prepared to handle this eventuality with a positive approach.
Right Way–Wrong Way
Another leader got her team together and put them in small groups of three to five. She asked the groups to discuss their positive and negative experiences when someone left a team they were on, or decided not to get on the bus to continue the journey.
The teams can up with a list of three things that were common in their experiences from when things were handled well and three things that were common in the situations where things were not handled as well. Then the teams presented their findings to the group, and everyone on the team was able to debrief and plan in regard to how they would like to handle this situation in a consistent, professional, and kind fashion moving forward.
Using this Rule with Your Organization
Maintaining Positive Energy When People Don't Get on Your Bus: Best Practices
These best practices are clear and simple, so I'm going to present them as a list:
- Do not take it personally.
- Be Polite. Be courteous. Be prepared.
- Practice how you will handle the conversation when someone decides not to get on your bus.
- Keep it short, and thank them for considering the opportunity.
- Make an effort to have the discussion conclude on a positive note as much as possible.