72Managing Yourself
Put yourself in your boss’s shoes
Think about what professional life looks like from your manager’s perspec-
tive. What are their performance targets, and what professional trajectory
are they on? What other motivations play into their decisions? What are
the major pain points in their job right now?
Some of these questions you can ask about directly, but others you’re
going to have to fi gure out by observation. Pay attention to what stresses
them out, what pushes them into overdrive, what tasks they’re most likely
to micromanage.
Understanding what your boss is incentivized to accomplish can help
you make sure your ideas are generally aligned with their needs. And you’ll
be able to position your ideas in a way that highlights the value to your boss
as well as the organization.
Discuss expectations
To become a person of infl uence with your manager, you need to know
what they expect from you and how you will work together, and what you
can do to make sure those interactions work smoothly. You may have gath-
ered some information on the listening tour you conducted when you en-
tered the job (see chapter 4, “Positioning Yourself for Success”). But if you
haven’t discussed strategic outlook and expectations with your boss, now is
a good time. Ask questions like:
• “What are your major objectives right now within the organiza-
tion? How can I support them?”
• “How do you prefer to communicate with the people you manage?
How would you like me to share information or updates with you?
What’s a good way for me to bring questions or problems to you
when they arise?”
• “In the past, when you’ve worked really well with a direct report,
what do you think made that relationship so successful? What
behaviors or habits are really important to you in the people you
manage?”
Becoming a Person of Infl uence73
Thinking about your boss’s other relationships is also helpful. Under-
stand who their allies (and rivals) are. Watch their interactions with others.
What kinds of people do they get along with best? What work habits annoy
them the most? What is the best way to earn and maintain their trust over
time? Knowledge is most defi nitely power in this situation, so be honest
with yourself about how they’re likely to perceive you. The more you under-
stand, the better you can align with them.
Gathering this information will help you meet their expectations for
your performance more successfully. But you may also need to manage
their expectations if they’re unreasonable or if they actively interfere with
your ability to deliver results. If you need to challenge their demands, pre-
pare for a conversation by thinking through:
• What specifi c expectations do you want to negotiate? How can you
link the changes you care about (for example, moving a deadline)
with something else they will value highly (for example, expanding
the scope of the work or meeting a higher-quality measure)?
• How will you link your proposal to your supervisor’s goals and
show that you put those goals fi rst? To communicate your hon-
esty and sincerity here, use the trust-building strategies that you
already know they respond to best, like asking for feedback about
how your proposal could better serve their needs.
Adapt yourself to your boss’s work style
You’ll be better positioned to infl uence your boss on the important points
when you make your daily interactions as frictionless as possible. Tailor
your work style to theirs: do they prefer short or long conversations? Do
they like to get in early on the decision-making process or review a fi nal
recommendation? What kind of evidence do they fi nd compelling? How
much time and attention are they prepared to provide on a given day?
What particular expertise or skills do they rely on you for? What idiosyn-
cratic preferences do they have about how offi ce life should proceed—for
example, how to run a meeting, write an email, or arrange a workspace? Be
proactive in making whatever accommodations you can.
74Managing Yourself
In order to partner with and infl uence your managers, you need to un-
derstand and adapt to them in a way that makes your working relationship
positive and productive. And doing so will also increase your infl uence in
the wider organization.
Partnering with your peers
To get your job done, you depend upon many people over whom you have
no authority. These relationships are exemplars of the principle outlined
earlier—that infl uence is founded in your personal power rather than or-
ganizational hierarchy. Collaborating with those who work outside your
chain of command is vital to your success, requiring you to actively achieve
trust, credibility, and alignment.
Making this more diffi cult, in many cases your colleagues’ priorities
will be fundamentally different from yours. Your goals may not be aligned
and, in some cases, they will be diametrically opposed: you want to create
a new product that could threaten the success of one of their best sellers,
for example.
Here’s how you can become a person of infl uence with your peers
throughout the organization:
Foster a network inside your organization
Many managers shy away from formally cultivating a network because it
smacks of politicking and self-promotion. But, as Harvard Business School
professor Linda Hill and coauthor Kent Lineback write in their book Being
the Boss, “If you don’t engage the organization and exercise infl uence effec-
tively, if you hold yourself above the political push-and-pull, you will limit
your effectiveness as a manager.”
These robust professional ties support collaboration in a few ways.
First, they let you obtain and provide information more easily; you can get
a better understanding of what else is going on in your department or ask
for feedback on a new idea. A network can also help you better connect
your group to the rest of your organization by trading resources or shar-
Becoming a Person of Infl uence75
ing expertise. And they also allow you to form coalitions around shared
goals.
To create this kind of network, seek out people with whom you have
a rapport and who are genuinely invested in your development. Cultivate
ongoing partnerships in which you have a reliable stream of give-and-take.
These are stable relationships with a lot of overlap and history that won’t
wilt under the fi rst favor asked.
By creating these connections before you need them, you will be in
a much better position to infl uence positive outcomes with and through
others in your network. If you believe you can’t afford to invest the time to
build your network, consider this: you can’t afford not to invest the time.
Make your enemies your allies
Do any of these people sound familiar? The rival who got passed over when
you were promoted. The insecure colleague who needs to be right about
everything. The coworker who openly disdains your personal style. Your
fi rst thought might be to avoid these people and the confl ict they represent.
Whether someone just rubs you the wrong way, or whether you have genu-
inely competing and divergent interests, it’s possible to defuse the negativ-
ity and reorient the relationship around shared goals and interests. Initiate
a one-on-one meeting—maybe afternoon coffee or lunch at their favorite
spot—and follow these steps.
1.
Redirect. Help your colleague channel their negative emotions
away from you by focusing on what you do have in common. For
example: “It sounds like we’ve had similar experiences getting used
to this new role. I really admire how you handled the transition.”
With some people, you can be honest about the source of tension
and recast the problem between you in a favorable light: “I know
it might seem like we’re supposed to be rivals, but I think it’s great
that we have the same skill set and totally different perspectives.
You’re the only person here I can talk to about X topic and trust I’ll
get an honest, smart response.”
76Managing Yourself
2. Reciprocate. Give before you ask. Show them you’re willing to
give up something of value that’s also concrete and immediately
actionable. If you make a promise of future support, fi nd a tangible
action you can take now to make good on that commitment. This
reinforces that you want to establish an ongoing relationship
rather than just ask for a favor.
3. Reason. Make a clear, plausible suggestion of how you think you
two could work together to support each others’ and the organiza-
tion’s success. What are your expectations for a relationship, and
why do they make sense for your colleague, too? End by presenting
them with a decision point: Will they commit to this pact now?
Consider putting an end date on your offer so that your coworker
understands that this new relationship, with its attendant benefi ts,
is something they need to be committed to. An easy way to do this
is to say that if you don’t hear back from them in a certain num-
ber of days, you’ll assume they aren’t interested. This will create
a sense of urgency or importance associated with the discussion,
without demand or pressure.
Bringing your allies on board, never mind your enemies, requires en-
ergy and tact. But it’s worth it; after all, you’re not doing this just to make
friends and amass power (although both may happen as a result). The in-
fl uence you develop in your relationships with peers will make all the dif-
ference as you work to extend your leadership outside your unit, to shape
the way your entire organization works together. The most successful and
upwardly mobile leaders have strong, collaborative, respectful relation-
ships with their peers.
Silo busting and eff ectiveness
Working effectively with colleagues in other units is also critical: it can
help you get the resources and buy-in you need to do your job, deliver bet-
ter results, and infl uence your organization’s overall direction. It can also
make your organization as a whole more effective—if you collaborate on
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