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Getting the most out of a coaching session

The purpose of the contract is to ensure an effective, hassle free relationship and, like any contract, you do not need it until you do.

Myles Downey, writer and coach

To get the best out of any coaching relationship it is important for the coach and coachee to have an initial exploratory discussion or meeting where they will have the opportunity to begin to build their relationship, establish ground rules, and to identify goals and outcomes for their coaching relationship and sessions. This initial meeting is beneficial for both the coach and coachee and is often referred to as a contracting meeting.

Contracting

Some degree of contracting is important even if you are the line manager of your coachee, and even more important if your coachee is a manager within the organisation who is not yet known to you. The information that follows summarises guidance that will be useful to any person who is taking on a coaching role; however, you will have to adapt what and how you do it to suit the particular situation you are in.

The contracting process is essentially an opportunity for both parties to agree and understand each other’s expectations and to establish ground rules and ways of working. These ‘contracts’ can be formal or informal as is appropriate for the people involved. They can be verbal or written, again depending upon the people involved. The complexity of any contract will tend to reflect the projected depth, frequency and formality of the actual coaching relationship.

Benefits

The main benefits of this introductory meeting and contracting (especially if you do not already know one another) include:

• An opportunity to get to know one another and to decide if you are suited for a coaching relationship.
  
• Clarity on both sides regarding expectations.
  
• Discussion between both parties about style and approach for the coaching sessions.
  
• An understanding about the desired outcomes for the coaching relationship.
  
• A chance to agree the basis for reviewing the coaching process.
  
• Time to deal with the basic administrative issues – session duration, venue, cancellation or postponement of session policy.
  
• A discussion and clarification of ethical and confidentiality issues. This is particularly important when line managers take on a coaching role.
  

Formal or informal

One of the first decisions you will have to make is whether to have a formal or informal ‘contract’. One of the main differences is whether the contract is written or verbal.

A written contract makes the whole process more official and enables both parties to sign up to the ethical aspects of coaching together with the practicalities of process and the administrative issues. Writing everything down and having both people sign up to this agreement creates a more formal relationship between the coach and coachee. Formal contracts are most beneficial when the relationship is part of an official organisational process. The written contract also gives you both a document that can be referred back to as part of the review process during the coaching relationship. This is more likely to be used when you are coaching someone who is not a direct report.

A less formal agreement involves a simple verbal discussion during the initial meeting. This discussion will cover many of the same issues as a written agreement would cover – ethics, practicalities, goals and outcomes and the general ground rules. This type of agreement is typically used when the relationship is less formal and possibly based around a specific issue rather than an on-going long-term relationship. You would be more likely to use an informal agreement when you are coaching a direct report.

Some people use a combination of both the formal and informal approach. This would be a short formal written contract regarding ethics, and expectations on both sides followed by a less formal verbal agreement relating to style, specific session objectives and timing.

Ground rules – the important issues

• Introductions. Start by building rapport. The coach should talk about their background and experience, any qualifications and perhaps a little about why they enjoy coaching others. The coachee should be encouraged to talk about their understanding of coaching, their current role, as much about their background as they feel comfortable sharing at this stage (we find it useful to ask coachees to share a brief CV) and why they think coaching is for them.
  
• What coaching involves. Explore together your understanding of the coaching process. You may wish to discuss style here, and what your coachee expects from a coaching relationship with you, which may of course be informed by some previous experience of coaching. During this discussion you should also focus on:
  
  • The coach’s role – what you see your role as and what it’s not. Coaches tend to talk about their role in listening, questioning, supporting, challenging and giving feedback to help people work through problems and issues in a structured and organised manner. Some coaching situations may involve the coach offering ideas or suggestions to explore together as a possible way to move ahead. What the coach won’t be able to do is solve the problem or give the coachee the answers. As a coach you should always review each session to ensure that you are both satisfied with the process and progress.
    
  • The coachee’s role – when you enter a coaching relationship it is important that the coachee is open to change and challenge: this is the main purpose of coaching. The coachee must be willing to share problems and issues with you who will question and probe to help examine the full extent of the issue/s. During this process the coachee should expect to be challenged and to be given feedback in relation to the issue or problem. It is also the coachee’s responsibility to work with the coach to develop an action plan and then to implement this plan. For a coaching relationship to be truly successful, commitment to action is necessary – no one else can do it for them.
    
• Process and administrative issues. There are several practicalities that need to be established in order for any coaching relationship to be effective and successful. These fall into seven key areas:
  
  • Ethics and confidentiality. The coaching relationship is built on the basis of mutual respect and trust on both sides. Any topic of discussion or materials used during the process should remain confidential between the coach and coachee.
    
  • Ground rules regarding the meeting process. Listen non-judgementally, encourage full exploration of problems and issues through questions and challenge, provide constructive and honest feedback and encourage the coachee towards an action plan.
    
  • Timing. Specifically duration and frequency of meetings. Much will depend upon the coachee’s needs. Occasionally one or two short meetings (45 to 60 minutes) are all that is necessary, while with other clients a longer relationship with more in-depth meetings will be required. Typically two hours is the maximum time dedicated to any one meeting – the concentration level required for good-quality coaching is difficult to maintain for longer than this period.
    
  • Venue. The most important issue here is to meet somewhere that you are both comfortable – an office, meeting room or sometimes people prefer to meet away from their place of work in a quiet corner in a coffee shop or the local library, or similarly quiet venue.
    
  • Note taking. Both the coach and coachee should be encouraged to take notes or record the session. The purpose of notes is to capture the essence of the session and to summarise any actions agreed. They should be very brief to avoid getting in the way of the flow of communication. They are beneficial especially in a long-term coaching relationship to ensure progress is made and to remind you of the process so far. As a coach you should always ask for permission from your coachee and also be prepared to show them to the coachee if requested. They should NEVER be shared with anyone else.
    
  • Cancellation. During this early meeting it is important to establish how you will deal with any cancellation of scheduled meetings. Be clear that cancellation should only occur in extreme circumstances – repeated cancellation may indicate lack of commitment to the issue, to coaching in general or problems in the relationship.
    
  • Concluding the relationship. Even the best coaching relationships come to a close. Whatever the reason for the conclusion of the relationship good endings are important. They might involve any or all of the following:
    
    • summarise what you have achieved together
      
    • agree any final actions
      
    • review the process and discuss what worked and what could have been done differently
      
    • offer appreciative feedback to each other.
      

Using these guidelines will help you to get the best out of any coaching relationship. However, you will have to adapt and flex them to suit your own situation and the relationship you are developing.

Tips for success

• In any coaching relationship take time to contract about the rules of the road.
  
• At this contracting meeting you must:
  
  • explore whether the relationship will work
    
  • build rapport
    
  • agree the basic process to be adopted
    
  • agree any practicalities – timing, venue, note taking, etc.
    
  • talk about your style
    
  • make your coachee aware that coaching is about helping them solve their own problems, not you giving them answers.
    
• Ensure your coachee is both open to challenge and committed to action.