The mentor ‘interviews’ the mentee to learn more of their background, current situation and preferences. For example:

•‘So tell me more about how you come to be in this role and situation?’

•‘I’m interested to understand more about the work you do now. What are the challenges in that?’

•Understand their aspirations; ‘Can you describe what you want for the future, e.g. in your career or for your personal life?’

•The mentee ‘interviews’ the mentor to learn more of their background, current situation and preferences. The mentee can use the previous agenda topics or simply interview the mentor according to their real interests and preferences.

Use the following to confirm or agree how you will work together:

•Responsibility for learning rests with the mentee, as the mentor stays ‘committed and unattached’.

•Mentoring is a collaboration between mentor, mentee and ‘everyday life’, so there is a need to stay focused on outcomes while being adaptable to change.

•What the mentee chooses to do, learn, or ignore from the mentoring conversations is not the mentor’s business. This is not ‘managing’ but mentoring.

Take one of the mentee’s development themes and discuss that, for example:

•What interests you around this topic?

•What objectives or goals do you have?

•Share your (the mentor’s) thoughts and experiences that may be relevant, and perhaps consider where other assistance might be appropriate.

The mentee gives an overview of where they are following the conversation and how they want to take things forward, for example:

•‘Here’s what I think I’ve got from this.’

•‘Here’s what I think I need to focus on or get done’ Commit to actions if appropriate.

•Here’s what might stop me, and here’s how I intend to tackle that.

•they need to engage with, and be empowered by, this process

•what they do as a result of the conversation is something you must stay objective about

•you are their mentor – not their manager.

The mentor ‘interviews’ the mentee to focus more directly on their objectives and development themes. For example:

•Let’s look more closely at what you want to get from this in terms of areas you want to develop or grow in.

•Understand their aspirations: ‘Can you describe what you want for the future, e.g. in your career or for your personal life?

•‘What do you see as potential blocks or barriers to your progress, e.g. current challenges, gaps in knowledge or skills?’

Take an initial topic or theme and create conversation around that theme, for example:

•‘What would you like to focus on first?’

•‘I’m thinking we might talk about this one first – how does that sound?’

•‘Okay, let’s talk about this one’.

As previously, take a second topic or theme and create conversation around that theme.

The mentee gives an overview of where they are following the conversation and how they want to take things forward, for example:

•‘Here’s what I think I’ve got from this’.

•‘Here’s what I think I need to focus on or get done’ and commit to actions if appropriate.

•‘Here’s what might stop me, and here’s how I intend to tackle that’.

•they need to engage with, and be empowered by, this process

•what they do as a result of the conversation is something you must stay objective about

•you are their mentor – not their manager.

Discuss whether the conversation has felt appropriate in style and approach to meet the mentee’s needs, for example:

•How much is this meeting your needs?

•What else might we be missing?

•What might we do more of/less of next time?

The coordinator may also encourage more formal review and evaluation methods, e.g. conduct evaluation interviews, send electronic questionnaires. Alternatively, they may be more relaxed, e.g. ask you and the mentee for anecdotal feedback.

When you operate from the principle that you have something the mentee wants, then you are more likely to identify this. This requires that you question the flow of the conversations, e.g. what help the mentee says they need.

This relationship develops elements of an unlikely friendship and is mutually enjoyable because of that.

It’s important to make links early on to what you can specifically help with and trust that other areas of benefit will arise naturally.

The benefits of this assignment are most clearly for the mentee, Ian. As mentor you are fulfilled by contributing to someone else’s success and by your broadened outlook arising from the conversations.

You trust that any additional benefits will be indirect, e.g. the goodwill of your former colleague.

•What works well about the way we’re collaborating? Frequency, duration, and location of meetings, etc.

•What works less well?

•What would work better?

•How appropriate is the level of structure we’re using, agreements, expectations, identification of themes and objectives, etc.

•What might we do less of? formal agendas, meetings in person, etc.

•What could we add that would help? emailing notes, phone calls, etc.

•What have been the main results of mentoring support for you so far? For example:

•What has happened that has been directly affected/influenced by the mentoring?

•What has happened that would not have happened, namely without the mentoring?

•What else seems relevant?

•Considering what you hoped to get from mentoring, how successful/effective is it?

•What hasn’t the mentoring addressed that you feel is still a development need or barrier to your progress?

•Thinking of your initial expectations and development goals, what progress do you feel you’ve made?

•What areas have you made less progress in?

•What might be the cause of that?

•What other progress have you made?

•Progress that seems related.

•Progress that appears less related or unrelated.

•What are the ideas or messages that have arisen from mentor conversations?

•What ideas do you think have been most important for you, i.e. that you want to remember the most?

•How will these affect or influence you going forward?

•In the short term.

•In the longer term.

•What do you see as your mentor’s strengths in providing this type of support to people?

•What do you value most about your mentor’s support?

•What might your mentor do/improve upon that would work better?

•What do you see as your mentee’s key strengths?

•What do you value them for most?

•What is their greatest potential contribution?

•In their role at work?

•Elsewhere, outside of their role, in life generally?

•What are their challenges, blocks of awareness, behaviour or ability?

•What might they do to overcome those?

•What might be the benefits of that?

•What else do you have to say?

•What development themes does the mentee still have? This may remain the same as those used within the mentoring.

•How might the mentee continue to make progress? Regular routines, training, etc.

•What support is available to them? People, membership of networks, online resources and tools, etc.

•What needs to happen now before we complete?

•Actions; complete ‘x’ or finish ‘y’.

•Activities, e.g. ‘We’ll have two more conversations, one in person and one by telephone.’

•Events, dates, milestones, e.g. wait until the mentee has spent six months in their new role.

•Confirm what’s been agreed and the way forward.