CHAPTER FIVE
Personal Health: Choosing Something Better
Recently I received some shocking news. An executive I interviewed recently at a global industry conference died, suddenly, of a heart attack.
I couldn't believe it. I was just with him, and I had thought we were the same age (and I am young!)
It is surreal because of all the other presenters, he and I hit it off especially. We grabbed a coffee and talked about family, our workout regimen amidst the travel, and the world at large.
Weeks later, he had died.
Peace is fragile when it comes to our Personal Health, especially when you have just experienced death. This one affected me. Not because of a friendship, but rather because we were the same age and he looked to be in great shape.
Our Personal Health is complicated. It combines more than the outer suit of our body; it also is impacted by our mind and spirit. Our natural wiring (personality) mixed with our upbringing and experiences show how we feel about our Personal Health.
In this instance of sudden death, there was more going on than what I could see. As for you, what words would describe your health right now?
Here are some answers I have received from others:
“I don't honestly think about it. I'm just focused on my work.”
“I would say good in some areas and bad in others.”
“Well, I wasn't dealt a good hand with my genetics and am fighting things that others don't have to fight.”
“I feel great. I am finally focused on my health.”
“I could lose some pounds right now.”
After this one‐question survey, I asked each person what Personal Health encompassed to them. Each of them said “physical health” (body). They didn't consider Mental Health (mind) or Spiritual Health (spirit), which I believe most people will say when they think of the word “health.”
Personal Health tends to be the lowest number on the Peace Index because most people think about their physical health when they get to this circle. Advertising shows that health is an issue as commercials litter television with drug ads claiming to help with diabetes, heart attacks, anxiety, fat loss, etc.
One Thing Affects Another
The fact is that our Personal Health is more than physical alone. We are made of mind, body, and spirit. Each of these is interconnected where one affects the others.
Have you ever opened the hood on your vehicle, amazed at all the wires, hoses, and parts linked to a complex technology? That is us. We are connected by our physical to our mental and emotional to our spiritual. All play a role in our overall health. If you focus on one area while ignoring another, you most likely won't resolve the issue.
Ryan was consumed with working out. He focused on his body relentlessly. After coaching him for a while, I asked him about this extreme focus. He exclaimed it was a release valve from the pressure of his job. The more stressed, the more he worked out in the gym. Over time I began to see that the physical overfocus was due to an underfocus on his emotional and spiritual health.
Without giving too much detail, Ryan had a rough upbringing and was proving to everybody that he could start a business and “pull himself up by his bootstraps.” He had some deep hatred and unforgiveness that caused him to be hard to work for, which caused employees stress because of his behavior, which in turn had Ryan taking more time out of the office to work out to alleviate his stress. All of this led to more disconnection because of his absence, which caused havoc when Ryan would return to work with things not happening as he had hoped. That just caused his workout refresh time to be wiped away. It was a vicious cycle.
Six months later, things had begun to improve. It was simple and complicated at the same time. Ryan committed to working on his self‐awareness through our GiANT tools. I began to show him he was not sharing expectations with his team but blowing up like a volcano when they didn't do what he didn't share but hoped they would do.
We made some adjustments, elevated one team member, and then started to work on the deeper areas of resentment. The hatred was killing him. Over some time, things improved dramatically. We began to work on the spiritual, which led to many breakthroughs and impacted his mental and emotional health. People began to trust him and even like him, and over some time, he began to enjoy himself as well.
It took about 14 months to see the breakthrough occur. Ryan worked out less, which was a good thing in this case. He balanced out his mindset with his heart and his body. Not only did Ryan benefit, but everyone else in his life got to enjoy him.
Personal Health is interrelated. One affects the other. If you ignore one, it will have an effect. Add to that global chaos and ask yourself how each of these has impacted your Personal Health:
- Covid: How did (or does) the pandemic affect you in each of the following areas?
- Mental Health: ________
- Physical Health: ________
- Spiritual Health: ________
- Lockdowns: What was the impact?
- Mental Health: ________
- Physical Health: ________
- Spiritual Health: ________
- Financial Stress: If applicable, how does it affect each area?
- Mental Health: ________
- Physical Health: ________
- Spiritual Health: ________
Asset or Liability
Our health can help us (be an asset) or hurt us (be a liability). We can work to make it more of an asset or ignore it, and it will become more of a liability. It is our choice.
To make our health an excellent or valuable part of our life takes work, and I think that is why most people don't do it. I often use the illustration of raising a puppy. If you don't invest the time and energy to train your dog, you will have a rough 7 to 10 or more years. Ignore dog training discipline at your peril as you lose shoes, sleep, and friends.
On the other hand, if you will do the hard work in the first months and years, you will be so grateful for the rest of your life. The more you put in (in most cases), the more you get out.
The same is true with your health. Our health can be an asset, an advantage for the rest of our life, or not. The key is your mindset. It is a mind shift as most of us have grown up with some prejudice toward one of the categories discussed in the following sections. Maybe it was a parent who scoffed at mental/emotional health. You might have grown up in an unhealthy family where bags of chips were an entree. Or, quite possibly, you had some drama related to spiritual health because of a bad experience or some wound that happened from someone in your family.
However, what if there was something you were missing because of some old grudge or experience? If you shift your mindset, you open to a higher Personal Health score that could affect your entire Peace Index.
Mental Health Mindset
Mental health has been a stigma for some time. The stereotype of a mental hospital with an unstable person in a straitjacket didn't help this issue. The truth is that mental health issues are common.
According to the National Institute of Mental Health, nearly one in five U.S. adults live with a mental illness (52.9 million in 2020).1 Mental illnesses include many different conditions that vary in severity, ranging from mild to moderate to severe, from depression to bipolar disorder to schizophrenia.
Mild and moderate forms of mental health are being discussed more openly than ever before. It probably helps when stars like Katy Perry, Justin Bieber, or Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson share their anxiety issues that have led to depression. That makes the subject less taboo while giving people hope that they can overcome.
These issues are exacerbated in a pandemic or crisis, as disruption leads to cycles of unrest. Mental health is a topic that needs to be talked about openly to help people heal.
A recent poll of 2,000 men conducted by OnePoll and the accompanying article by Study Finds found that the average man rates his mental health at 60% and feels down at least three times per week.2 The study shares that 57% of men would like to see more support for mental health struggles. In the article, these men claim that consistent conversations with family and friends and lowering their alcohol consumption would help them become more mentally fit.
My goal is to help you train your mind to have more Peace—to live a healthier life with your Purpose, People, Place, Personal Health, and Provision.
The more external turmoil around you, the more unrest in you. Worry, anxiety, and catastrophizing of the future are issues that a nonstable mental mindset can provoke.
I am currently working with a person to help them eradicate negativity from his life. It is a journey indeed. He had a great childhood, but his personality makes him fret details. If he gets overloaded, his view of the future can get cloudy, and he can become short with others. To change his mindset, I asked him to list the areas he is nervous about and the percent likelihood of it occurring. After reviewing the list with him, he smiled as overall his realized his three negative issues had only a 33% chance of happening.
We brought the issues into the light in a safe place and dealt with them one by one. I have been training this person to deal with a negative issue straight on and not allow himself to trust his irrational tendency. He is working on his mind so he can deal with future issues. I hope he begins to see his tendencies and understand the patterns that cause him to be negative and when it occurs so that he can work to alter his actions. That will change the consequences and shape a better reality for him.
Chapter 8, Keeping the Peace, presents a daily system you can use to help you build a healthy mindset to bring consistent Peace to your life.
Physical Health Mindset
Working with athletes has changed the way I communicate with leaders in general. Committed athletes operate differently from other people. They understand that their bodies are assets, and those I have worked with ensure that they develop themselves to the highest level possible.
My son, Will, recently graduated as a business major and decathlete from the University of Oklahoma. A decathlete must perfect 10 events (pole vault, 110‐meter hurdles, javelin, high jump, long jump, 400‐meter run, 100‐meter dash, discus, shot put, and the dreaded 1500‐meter run).
Will and his teammates are committed. They eat better than anyone I know; they work out daily, consistently, and help each other get better. It is a different mindset.
I am not suggesting we try to become decathletes, though I think it would be hilarious to create a reality show with everyday people trying 10 track events.
Rather, I suggest an intentional mindset—a healthy view of what we eat and drink and how we rest. We can work to think like an athlete while living our everyday lives.
This mindset, for me, has been a shift into preplanning. I think about my exercise plans the night before. I think about what I will eat and won't eat. Even though I am not running a race, I desire to have the healthiest body possible for the longest time.
There are so many good physical health books and systems available. The Naked Code by Bronson Taylor is a short, powerful example of the resources available. I am just trying to motivate you to strengthen one‐third of your Personal Health number through a little intentional living.
Spiritual Health Mindset
Health is a person's overall condition. When we say Personal Health, we mean the holistic state of a person (mental, physical, spiritual, emotional health). What if you only focus on one out of three? What if you were a physical beast but mentally unstable and spiritually aloof? That isn't a well‐rounded person. Or imagine you are mentally and spiritually astute but out of shape with some problematic real health issues. Your influence is limited in this case.
Even as Jesus matured, he grew in both body and spirit, in favor with God and man, which means that he grew mentally, physically, spiritually, and socially (Luke 2:52).
The spiritual component is fundamental—mind, body, and spirit. The spirit is the nonphysical part of a person, the seat of emotions and character, the soul. Many people struggle with anxiety or depression because of physical or soul issues. The soul issues are spiritual. When a person is unsettled in their spirit, it comes from unanswered questions, disappointments, or a crisis of belief.
Years ago, I coached a young professional with a fantastic role inside a large global business. She was a workout machine—probably a bit too much. She is a bright and articulate professional who has gained her peers' respect and influence. The only issue was that she had a hole in her heart—not a literal hole, but a spiritual one. Something was missing. And in her unsettling, she sought some counsel as she processed.
She had grown up with spiritual beliefs but had not made them hers, and she was seeking. The issue was that they were her parents' beliefs, and she realized she had not done the work to develop her own beliefs. Eventually, she settled the issues and was no longer divided. Coincidentally, she began to exercise less while focusing on her emotions and spirit.
The spiritual is vital. It is soul development. This type of development comes in a community, in critical input and daily reflection. Again, Chapter 8 can help with this process when you are ready.
What needs to change in you as it relates to your spiritual development? Do you need to remove the worry from the center of your heart? Do you need friends to help you grow here? Spiritual growth can raise the Peace Index score to higher levels dramatically.
You Affect Your Health Outcome
Your Personal Health is either a competitive advantage or daily liability. It is your choice.
Your Personal Health puts you in a position to thrive, or it limits your abilities to flourish. Some may have been born with certain physical or mental limitations. They can teach us how to overcome adversity and maintain mental health more than I ever could. Many are amazing in using limitations as inspiration to grow.
However, for those not born with certain physical or mental limitations, let me ask you this: What are you doing in your life that limits your competitive advantage or creates a health liability? Why is that occurring?
You control the levels of the intentionality of how you treat your body, mind, and spirit. Remember, accidental living is easy initially and miserable in the end.
Trade Up
If you would like some life hacks on getting healthier, consider the idea of Trading Up. I first wrote about Trading Up in 5 Gears, co‐written with Steve Cockram. The idea is that everything we do has a natural Trade Up. Choose an apple instead of a candy bar; a podcast over negative news; a walk over the couch, etc. Incremental changes can add up over time to make a big difference. Consistency is the key.
Personal Health is about choosing the right inputs that help you grow physically, mentally, and spiritually so that your outputs are helpful. Wrong inputs tend to create poor outcomes.
A saying I have always taught our kids reiterates this point. The constant mantra is “Good friends. Good Decisions. Good Life. Bad Friends. Bad Decisions. Bad Life.” They often see GF. GD. GL. as a reminder of this idea. We all know it is true. The input of friends creates an output of good decisions.
Trade Up to better decisions and notice that your Peace will improve as well.
Your Personal Health Number
Let's review the Personal Health Number now that you have the information provided in this chapter. Give yourself a number from 1 to 100% (100% as the highest) as it relates to each of these in you:
- Mental Health: ________
- Physical Health: ________
- Spiritual Health: ________
Now, add all three numbers up and divide by three to get your Personal Health Number.
- Total:
Here is where I am today while writing this chapter and why:
- Mental Health: 85%. Chapter 8 will explain why
- Physical Health: 82%. I am being consistent in working out
- Spiritual Health: 90%. Feeling connecting to God in my spirit
- Total: 257/3 = 85.6% Personal Health
Find the Friend
Who is the person you will talk through this with who you trust deeply? Give them their own copy of the book so they can review it with you. Personal Health needs accountability partners—people who will bring high support and high challenge.
Humans tend to drift back to the most comfortable levels possible. Do the hard work of being intentional and find the friend who can help you maximize the asset that is your Personal Health.
Your Personal Health Plan
What do you need to do in each category below? What is the one takeaway from this chapter that is motivating and you can start tomorrow?
- Mental Health: ________
- Physical Health: ________
- Spiritual Health: ________
How can you live life to the fullest with nothing to fear?
Note
- 1 National Institute of Mental Health. Office of Science Policy, Planning, and Communications, Bethesda, MD. www.nimh.nih.gov.
- 2 Study Finds. (2022). Not OK: Average man rates his mental health just 6 out of 10, feels down 3 times a week. (29 April). https://www.studyfinds.org/men-mental-health-feels-down/ (accessed 29 April 2022).