Matt and Kendra met during their junior year of college. Kendra was a cheerleader for the football team and Matt was a point guard on the basketball team. A mutual friend introduced them and they hit it off immediately. While they were dating in college, Matt always talked about the life that they could create together. Matt was a big dreamer and envisioned great possibilities for their future. When he put his mind to something, he would work to achieve it no matter what stood in his way. Kendra loved that about him and knew he was the one that she wanted to spend her life with after their first date!

Yet almost two decades later, they found themselves with unfulfilled dreams and an unhappy marriage. Over time, Kendra noticed gradual changes in Matt and the way he treated her and their two kids, Nick and Kennedy. Since the early days of their marriage, Matt would tell Kendra he loved her as soon as he walked through the door. But now, she couldn't recall the last time that had happened. He'd always been great with the kids and played with them whenever he was home. Nowadays, he was short‐tempered, less affectionate, and found it difficult to keep up with the kids' energy, as his work fatigue got worse. He hadn't taken any real time off in several years. When Kendra asked him about going on vacation, Matt revealed his true priorities.

“We’ve been talking about going on a vacation as a family for over two years. When are you going to give yourself a break, so we can enjoy some family time?” Kendra asked.

“You know I would love to,” replied Matt. “I am just so close to making a big sale. Maybe when things slow down at work we can get that on the calendar.” Kendra rolled her eyes at yet another excuse from Matt. He always talked a big game, saying that his priorities were his faith first, then his family, and then his job, but this clearly wasn't true. Matt was rarely home and his family felt as though they were more of an afterthought than a priority. He had no idea the negative impact this was having on his wife and kids. Over the years, one of Matt's favorite pastimes had been playing catch with his son, Nick. Of course, it had been a long time since he'd made time to connect with him in this way, and suddenly, Nick was a freshman in high school.

Nick was excited to play high school baseball and couldn't wait for his first game. He had worked hard all summer and winter break to refine his skills and was ready to show what he could do. The week of his big game, Matt happened to be at home. He and Nick ended up in the backyard playing catch. Matt threw the ball to Nick, who caught it, and then looked down tentatively. “Will you be there for my first game on Friday?” asked Nick. “We’re playing the Pleasant Plains Cardinals. They're really good.”

“I wouldn't miss that game for the world!” Matt responded. “It's already on my calendar and I can't wait to watch you hit a home run!” Although Nick was nervous about his first game, he was glad that he had his dad's support.

After dinner, Kendra leaned over to Matt and said, “Nick said that you'd be at his game on Friday.” She shook her head, already knowing he'd respond inadequately to her next question. “Is that true?”

Matt circled his fork around an empty plate. “I am going to try my best to make it, but I have a meeting with a client earlier that day in Toronto.”

Kendra raised her voice. “Why did you tell him that you wouldn't miss it for the world? He's counting on you being there!”

“I promise, I will try my best to make it,” Matt said as Kendra left the kitchen.

Friday rolled around and Nick's heart almost burst through his chest with excitement. At school, all his friends were nervous and excited for the first game of the year. There would be a tailgate party after the game, put on by all of the players' parents to kick off the new season.

Two hours before the game, Kendra was in the kitchen finishing up food preparation for the celebration when she got a call from Matt. She could almost mouth what he was going to say as he said it. “I am so sorry. My meeting went longer than expected and this is a really big client. I couldn't leave early.”

A vein appeared on Kendra's forehead. “You promised your son you would be at his first game! He's talked about it for months! You knew the date!”

“I know, I'm sorry. My meeting today was really important,” said Matt.

“More important than your son? Don't say ‘sorry’ to me, say it to him!” Kendra hung up.

As Nick walked up to the plate for his first at‐bat of the season, he went through his routine. He looked at the left foul pole where his family usually sat for games, then approached the plate. As he stepped into the batter’s box, he noticed that his dad wasn't there with the rest of his family. His heart sank. He struck out on three straight pitches. He went back to the dugout with his eyes to the ground and threw down his bat in frustration. Nick ended up going 0–4 in the game without a single hit. His team lost 8–2.

At the post‐game tailgate, Nick didn't say much. His phone rang, and he pulled it out from his pocket. It was his dad. He ignored the call, put his phone on silent, then put it in his bag.

In the car on the way home, Kendra said to Nick, “Honey, I'm sorry how the game went, and I know your dad wanted to be there to watch you.”

Fighting back tears, Nick responded, “He didn't want to be there enough. He never comes to anything. I don't even care anymore… .”

Matt flew back home late that night and got in at 2 a.m. He was thinking about all the questions he wanted to ask Nick about the game, believing his son would understand why he couldn't be there. While taking off his shoes, he woke Kendra up. She shot straight up as if she hadn't been asleep.

“Why can't you at least have the decency to tell your son when you're going to miss his game? You told him you would make it and he trusted you! All the dads were there. Except you. Why do you care so much about money?” Kendra asked.

“Look, because of my great income, you have the flexibility to stay home and raise the kids, I thought that's what you wanted!” Matt wrestled the shoe off his other foot.

“I didn't plan on raising our children alone,” Kendra sighed. “You are absent from the kids' lives. I need you to provide for us more than just financially. I need you to be there for our family.” She choked up. “If we keep living like this, you're going to wake up and realize that they're grown and gone and you'll regret that you missed out on these important moments. And you'll wonder why they want nothing to do with you.”

Matt stood there, confused, as Kendra continued. “You seriously need to evaluate the person you've become, because you are not the person I married.” Kendra shook her head as tears streamed down her cheeks. “This is not what I signed up for. We can't take this anymore, Matt! You need to wake up and things need to change. If not, then I'm done! I'll file for divorce!”

Kendra stormed out of the room. Matt swallowed the word “divorce.” He was stunned. In his mind, he was providing financially better than most of the other dads he knew. Some months, he brought home more money than most people bring home in a year. Although the large monthly paychecks gave him pride, they also chained him to his work. Most of the pressure he faced from work was self‐inflicted; he wanted to be the best at his job and make the most money possible. To make this happen, he worked late hours and made extra sales in order to achieve his goals. But deep down, it was actually Matt's feelings of inadequacy that drove him to work harder and longer to get ahead at all costs. He thought he was doing everything he could to provide for his family. If anything, he thought that Kendra should be more grateful for the job he was doing as the provider of their family. He didn't want to miss his son's baseball games. He believed he was the one making most of the sacrifices in the marriage.

Matt got into bed, and shortly after, Kendra did as well. Matt tentatively tried to rub Kendra's back, but she swatted his hand away. They didn't say another word to each other as they fell asleep.