Conclusion
Reinforcing Change through Transformational Communication

The three major sections of this book have been designed to help present and would-be transforming leaders be more effective in today’s world by enhancing their ability to analyze situations, deepen their consciousness so as to embody presence and evoke trust, and develop their relationship-building and communication skills in order to influence complex adaptive human systems to produce transformational outcomes. The sequence is important, because each section builds on the previous one. Being different starts with thinking differently. Relating in empowering ways depends on authenticity and integrity.

Each major part of this book has implications for how we talk. Part One, for instance, encourages us to shift our attention from problems to vision; from what is lacking to noticing strengths; from blaming individuals to fostering structural and relational solutions; and from looking to others to make a difference to fully claiming our own responsibility for doing so. To the degree that our communication reflects these shifts of perspective, we reinforce them in ourselves and others.

Part Two challenges us to acknowledge that we are not just human capital pursuing careers for status and material gain. Instead, it encourages us to recognize that we are ensouled creatures, who can respond to a call or sense of vocation that has meaning beyond just a way to get ahead. We do not have to be confined by the limitations of our fears and anxieties, emotionalism, narrow rationality, or how things have always been done. By connecting with our deeper selves, we access the imaginal world, which can infuse leadership with healing and innovative abilities. If we hide out, pretending to be simply materialists in order to fit in, or cynics to seem to be in the know, we negatively reinforce—and hence decrease—our own potential power to make a difference, even as we also implicitly discourage real change in others.

Part Three encourages us to be open: about our waking and nighttime dreams; stances that promote dialogue; strategies that groups can use to connect with their inner wisdom; the emotional and aesthetic side of leadership life; the pernicious ways we all project and how we need to withdraw those projections; and our capacity to see past our own or our group’s perspective to discover the larger relationships between people and groups where new possibilities lie. We often are tempted to limit our communication to a reductive level of cultural consensus; but when we do so, we buttress the tendency to keep consciousness locked in an ego-oriented, shallow place where the real problems of our time cannot be solved.

Reading a book like this one, and even doing the exercises, still can lead to merely ephemeral changes, after which new insights are quickly lost. Business as usual can easily reestablish its pernicious hold on any of us. But if, for a month or two, you can consciously implement what you have learned, or those things that fortify what you already knew, you will form new habits of mind and action that will serve you well moving forward. Reframing your informational and formal communication can be a powerful means to live into what you know, rather than remaining split between inner awareness and outer self-presentation. What you say, and what you attend to and reinforce in what you hear from others, creates ripple effects that serve your vision for how you want the world to be.

Collective decisions generally are preceded by what appears to be a chaotic time in which people talk with one another, process how they view what is going on, and decide what they think should be done. Many of these conversations are private, so the media, political leaders, or organizational managers do not track them. Often, what grows out of these conversations is a surprise: few people predicted the rise of the women’s movement after consciousness-raising groups sprang up, the civil rights movement, the fall of the Soviet Union, the tea party movement, the Arab Spring, the Occupy Wall Street movement, or any number of major events that have transformed our lives. After a time, a different energy arises; its spokespeople give powerful and memorable speeches; and another round of talking, listening, and learning begins.

Change happens in organizations and communities as a result of this same process. What you say—in both informal exchanges and formal presentations—frames how you and others view reality. It both reinforces your interpretation of events in your own mind and influences the collective conversation going on around you. Thus, the more conscious you become of the power of your words, the greater the impact you can have.

Authentic transformational communication begins with the stories you tell yourself and depends on your ability to recognize when the stories are true and helpful and when they are projections of your fears or prejudices, or your avoidance of your issues. Understanding your projections requires awareness that whatever you are saying about someone else or some external circumstance likely reflects a denied part of yourself as much as anything else.

Transformational communication can be nonverbal as well as verbal. You communicate every day by what you choose to measure, what you give attention to, what you are willing to spend resources on. Even the setting can speak. At Pacifica Graduate Institute, our lush grounds and organic gardens tell a story about our veneration of the Earth beyond what mere words can say. Such communication also is authentic, delivering on promises made, whether explicitly or implicitly—as is the case, for example, with evocative, authentic brand identities (Mark & Pearson, 2001). But most of all, transformational communication is about taking responsibility to be aware that the way you live your life is itself a communication. If you are aware that you are living out cultural and mythic narratives, you might ask yourself, “Is this a story I want to live?” and “Is this what I want to model for others?”

When the answer is no, you may be able to simply make new decisions. However, you also may feel trapped by outside circumstances. If you can remove yourself from a setting where a destructive drama is being played out, that is ideal. If you cannot, you can experiment with acting a different part in that story to see if the whole drama shifts; or you can imagine a number of other stories you could tell about the situation, live into one of them, and see what opens up for you over time.

In many circumstances, asking “What story do I want to live?” simply reminds us of what we actually desire, so that our immediate feelings do not pull us into a drama we do not want to be in. For example, when I’m angry with a colleague and feel like going for the jugular, I might remember that my goal is to work well with him. So I tone down my Warrior archetype impulse and try to express my concerns in a more reasonable (Sage) or loving (Lover) way. Or, if I find I am wimping out on an issue important to me, I might want to live consciously into a Warrior story and fight for what I think is right.

Leadership communication that comes from a clear understanding of our stories and what narratives we want to live is honest and unafraid to acknowledge uncomfortable realities. But it is also, as much as possible, appreciative and positive. While honoring the legacy of the past, it holds an inspiring vision of what can be. It is most effective, moreover, when its messages are archetypal and hence reveal deeper truths of the human heart than mere facts can ever do. Archetypal images and narratives connect to realities the soul already has access to; the very term archetype means that these are eternal and available to people regardless of their cultures or individual differences (Pearson & Marr, 2006). Archetypal branding can act as a call to the people who need or want the qualities the archetypal story of your enterprise fosters. For example, Apple Computer’s Revolutionary archetype identity (a tag like Think Different, a logo that has an apple with a bite out of it as in the Garden of Eden, a reputation for game-changing innovation) attracts customers who want to be ahead of the curve.

One of the leadership quandaries mentioned by my students (see the general introduction) concerns the degree to which strategic planning is effective in a context of global interdependence, unpredictability, and fast change. To engage in strategic planning as if it were possible to set specific objectives and goals and consistently meet them communicates the unrealistic belief that the future can and should be controlled. Today, such plans, while helpful, are merely statements of what is desired at a particular moment in time. Thus, many leaders and organizations are adopting scenario planning as an alternative or complement to strategic plans. How does scenario planning work? Try to imagine all the different possibilities that could happen, then tell stories about how you might handle them to achieve a positive result, while also noting likely results you would like to avoid. Does this accurately predict the future? Maybe not, but it develops creativity and flexibility in the thinking of those involved, which can be useful whatever transpires. In addition, it raises the questions: What stories do we collectively want to live, and what images and plot regressions resonate with us?

As leaders, the metaphors and images we use, and the narrative structures we employ, frequently determine both how we are seen by others and the degree to which they trust us. Inevitably, this will have an impact on the results achieved, for good or ill. The stories you tell in your role as a leader are likely to be enacted, so it is important to think about where this narrative is likely to lead. If you tell Warrior stories, you predictably will have enemies. If you constantly complain about how bad things are (an Orphan story), they are likely to get worse as people around you become more and more dispirited.

A key task of transformational leaders is to reframe situations by sharing narratives that provide a clear, felt sense of what is right to do in any situation, or that awaken openness to trying out new possibilities. Sometimes sharing an image that arises in your mind can reframe reality in a clarifying way. Fetzer participant and executive coach Rene Molenkamp (2011) wrote about a client who complained that he had become desperately unhappy at work. An image suddenly formed in Molenkamp’s mind of “a very solid ship that used to be in calm waters, but now found itself in the midst of a severe storm and there was no end in sight.” This image struck a chord in his client, who upon reflection realized that he was strong, but not strong enough to weather what was going on in his company. He recognized that it was time to seek other options.

Many famous quotations reframe reality in ways that open up possibilities, for example, Franklin Delano Roosevelt’s “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself”; John F. Kennedy’s “Ask not what your country can do for you—ask what you can do for your country”; and Marianne Williamson’s “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.”

But reframing does not always have to be so serious. Sometimes humor can be just as helpful. It lightens the mood, so people can regain perspective. One of my favorites is, “If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving is not for you” (variously attributed). Humor also can help people laugh while accepting realities that otherwise might feel sobering, such as, “We must all hang together, or assuredly we shall all hang separately” (Benjamin Franklin), which during the Revolutionary War was literally true, or the more everyday reality any of us might experience, captured in Maya Angelou’s quip, “Achievement brings its own anticlimax.” Humor also can be a way to defuse hostility and turn the tables to one’s advantage. For example, President Ronald Reagan, during a 1984 campaign debate with Walter Mondale, neutralized concern about his age with a quip: “I want you to know that … I will not make age an issue of this campaign. I am not going to exploit, for political purposes, my opponent’s youth and inexperience.”

The purpose of The Transforming Leader is to reframe the challenge of leading in today’s interdependent, unpredictable world. Its message is that if we update our thinking, enhance the quality of our being, deepen our sense of relatedness with the ecology of our natural and social worlds, and practice transformational communication—then things don’t have to be so hard.

You each are transforming the world every moment by the choices you make. The more conscious you are, even about your own thinking and communication, the more likely it is that this transformation is moving in a positive direction, not only for the world, but also for yourself. If enough of us are responsible and aware, we will create a critical mass that can produce the tipping point that puts the world back on a positive path and, hence, a positive legacy for all the generations that follow in our footsteps. This choice is now yours, and mine, to make—every day.