Index
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A
accomplishments:
asking for raises based on, 182–184, 186, 188
active listening:
aggressive communicators and, 161
defined, 29
elevator pitches and, 75
hearing vs., 28
improv and, 31–32
in job interviews, 143, 152–154
as learned skill, 27, 30–31, 39
in negotiations, 193–194
in professional communication, 61
during small talk, 80–81
tactics used in, 33–39
Adams, Kenn, 118
adaptability, 100
Adichie, Chimamanda Ngozi, 207
agenda-focused listening, 30, 77–79
aggressive communicators:
in group interviews, 164–165
in negotiations, 193
Antonakis, John, 95
arguing:
in conversation, 57
in improv, 198
negotiating to avoid, 192
Aron, Arthur, 113
assertive communicators:
building confidence and, 180–181
characteristics of, 162–164
group interview facilitators as, 166
in negotiations, 188, 193, 196
in presentation Q&As, 213
audience:
affirmation from, 1–2
applause from, 122
for business pitches, 170
communication type and, 9–10
defined, 2–3
for elevator pitch, 68–72
energy exchanged with, 17, 49, 65, 93, 111, 171, 194
eye contact with, 114
goal alignment with, 13
identifying, 3–5
for presentations, 210
authenticity:
in communicating, 17
of elevator pitch, 67, 69, 70, 76
in interviews, 134–135
of language, 6
overpreparation and, 144
B
Bay, Michael, 211–212
best-self, 5
body language:
communication style and, 161, 162
in interviews, 136–137
in meetings, 115
in networking, 87–91
Bossypants (Fey), 31
breathing:
as panic remedy, 209–210, 212, 213
as warm-up, 215
business pitches, 170–172, 176–178
C
cadence, of voice, 106–110, 139
Center for Creative Leadership (CCL), 13
chameleon effect, 136
Changing Emotions exercise, 22, 23, 106, 112
Changing Genres activity, 218–219
charismatic leadership tactics (CLTs), 95–118, 123
clarification, as listening tactic, 36
classes:
improv, 2, 6, 12, 16, 18, 40, 41, 82, 140, 160, 207
for presentation skills, 108, 216, 220
closed-ended questions, 36, 38, 195
clothing:
appropriate style of, 11
for job interviews, 136
coaching for presentations, 9
comedy:
(See also humor; laughter)
commedia dell’arte, vi
communication:
central role of, 27
defined, 10
emotions in, 16–24
goal setting in, 12–15
listening as foundation of, 29, 32, 39, 40
as soft skill, 154
tactics for, 14
types of, 9–11
(See also professional communication)
complaining, in conversation, 57
confidence:
in ability to achieve goals, 103–104
arrogance vs., 147–148, 158, 159
eye contact and, 114
imposter syndrome and, 172–181
lack of knowledge and, 76
preparation and, 209
presence and, 106
during presentations, 217
showing emotion and, 112
when interviewing, 126, 144–148, 155
when networking, 73
conflict:
in interpersonal communication, 60, 197
in meetings, 101–102
negotiating to resolve, 198–203
continuous learning, 223–224
conversation:
advancing, in improv, 32
defined, 10
elevator pitches and, 71–74, 76–77
entering, 87–88
exiting, 83–87
eye contact in, 112
as improv, 54
open-ended vs. closed-ended questions in, 36–38, 79
role in communication, 40
small talk as, 80–83
uncomfortable topics in, 81–82, 84
zoning out during, 50–52
(See also interpersonal communication)
Copeau, Jacques, vi
coworkers:
comparisons with, 55–56
conflicts with, 60
ethics violations by, 199–201
salary negotiations and, 188
team building with, 56–59
creativity, stimulating, 184, 218
critical listening, 32, 40, 42
customers, business pitches to, 170, 171
D
“The Danger of a Single Story” (Adichie), 207
Davidai, Shai, 200
decision making:
by aggressive communicators, 161
emotion as driver of, 197, 199
by passive communicators, 160, 161
Dewey, John, vi
E
elevator pitch:
characteristics of, 67–68
constructing, 68–70
delivering, 72–75
in interview preparation, 128
pitfalls of, 76–80
practicing, 70–72
emotional intelligence (EQ), 18, 24, 99–102, 199
emotions:
ethics violations and, 199
physical manifestation of, 19–22, 112
professionalism and, 15–19
reading, in networking, 87
vocal expression of, 106–107
empathetic listening, 32–33
empathy:
in emotional intelligence, 18, 24, 99
of interviewees, 157
in interviewing others, 150
in leading meetings, 100–101
in networking, 87
The Engaging Educator (EE):
networking and, 64
ethics, workplace violations of, 198–201
experts, 175
eye contact:
communication style and, 161, 164
in group interviews, 155–156, 158
in meetings, 112–115
prolonged, 194
F
facial expressions, 106, 110–115
feedback:
characteristics of, 41–42
giving, 40–41
gratitude and, 57
reflecting on, 43
style of, 44–45
Feiler, Amanda, 139
Fenley, Marika, 95
Fey, Tina, 31
first impressions, 120
Fresh Choice activity, 214
Frutkin, Jill, ix
G
Gentile, Mary, 199
gifts:
in conversational exit strategy, 84
defined, 31
in job interviews, 152
in questioning, 36
Gilovich, Thomas, 200
Giving Voice to Values (Gentile), 199
glows:
defined, ix
as feedback, 41
goal setting:
celebrating accomplishment and, 54
for elevator pitch, 68
function of, viii
in job interviews, 142
in networking, 65–66
in professional life, 12–15
SMART mnemonic for, 103
Going Against the Grain, 43, 72
Goleman, Daniel, 99
gratitude:
feedback and, 57
to interviewer, 147–148
group interviews, 155–166
grows:
defined, ix
as feedback, 41
H
History of the World activity, 181
humblebrags, 126, 137–139, 153
humility, 52–55
humor:
in improv, 96
self-deprecation and, 79–80
(See also comedy; laughter)
I
ideal self, 200
imposter syndrome:
example of, 172–175
incidence of, 176
types of, 175
improvisation (improv):
active listening and, 31–32
arguing in, 198
audience for, 3–5
being present in, 43
charismatic leadership tactics and, 95
confidence building through, 176, 177
conversation as, 54
eye contact in, 112
function of, vi–vii, x, 86, 106
history of, vi
humor in, 96
identity of presenter in, 5–8
job interviews and, 125, 144–147, 156
leading vs. following in, 79
lying vs. reality in, 76
mirroring in, 136
for negotiations, 182, 192–193
networking and, 67
personal space in, 88
shifting perspective in, 199–200
“show, don’t tell” in, 7, 33, 121, 171
small talk and, 80
as soft skill, 154
starting point for, 67
status as consideration in, 46
storytelling in, 98
tactics in, 13 (see also specific tactics)
in team building, 57–58
uncomfortable topics in, 82
vocal cadence in, 109
wipe in, 127
indentity worksheet, 8
informational listening, 32, 40
intentionality, viii
interpersonal communication, 27–28, 60
interviewees:
brand statement for, 133
introverts as, 157
personality of, 129–130, 133–136, 160, 164, 166
questions asked by, 148–149
techniques for, 136–139
interviewers:
in group interviews, 160, 164–166
stressful position of, 135
techniques for, 150–154
interviews:
being confident during, 144–148, 155
expressing thanks for, 147–148
group, 155–166
preparation for, 9, 125–136, 144, 154, 167
questions used in, 139–144, 151–154
investors, business pitches to, 170, 171
I See, You See activity, 34–35
“I” statements, 162–164, 166, 213
J
Johnstone, Keith, vi
K
Kabat-Zinn, Jon, 50
Kraft, Tara, 111
L
Last Word activity, 51–52, 77, 215
laughter:
team building and, 58
unexpected, during presentations, 208
at yourself, 219
(See also comedy; humor)
leadership:
aggressive communicators and, 161
in conducting meetings, 94–118
as soft skill, 154
leading questions, 36–38
Level-Up classes, 6
Liechti, Sue, 95
listening:
business pitches and, 171
elevator pitches and, 72–74
in networking, 64
types of, 32
(See also active listening; agenda-focused listening)
loaded questions, 36–38
M
managers, and celebrating accomplishments, 57
Medvec, Victoria Husted, 200
meetings:
for business pitches, 170–172, 176–178
email in place of, 94, 101, 102, 121
ending, 122
leadership tactics for, 94–118, 123
participation in, 93–94
for salary negotiations, 186–187
starting, 118–122
memorization, 120–121, 140, 172
memory, improving, 33–34
mentors (see coaches/mentors)
message, presentation style and, 10
N
natural geniuses, 175
negotiation:
in conflict resolution, 198
defined, 192
improving skills for, 192–197
for raises/promotions, 182–192, 204
networking:
drawbacks of, 63–64
elevator pitch in, 67–75
exit strategy for, 83–87
finding your group in, 87–90
goal setting in, 65–66
pitfalls of, 76–80
preparing for, 91
skills for, 64
small talk in, 80–83
O
Obama, Michelle, 134
OC Tanner, 57
one-on-one communication (see conversation)
open-ended questions, 36–38, 79, 195–196, 201
organizational culture:
celebrating accomplishments and, 57, 59
job interviews and, 129, 153–154, 159, 165
salary negotiations and, 187–188
P
panic, breathing as remedy for, 209–210, 212, 213
pantomime, 115–117
passive-aggressive communicators, 162, 164
passive communicators, 160–161, 164
perfectionists, 175
performance:
audience role in, 1–3
preparation for, 2
personal space, 88
pivoting:
as improv tactic, 13
in negotiations, 195
positive vs. negative, 17
in presentation Q&As, 214
Pixar Studios, 118
Plutchik, Robert, 19
Powell, Deborah, 139
power:
in job interviews, 150, 158, 160, 165
in negotiations, 187, 196, 201
personal space and, 89
in presentation style, 207
Power Pose, 89
presentations:
defined, 9
experimenting with, 220
grabbing focus in, 119–120, 122
memorizing, 120–121
physical stance during, 216–218
playful approach to, 218–219
Q&A sessions after, 212–213
style vs. content in, 11
using notes in, 210
warming up for, 214–216
(See also public speaking)
presentation skills:
confidence in, 177–178
examples of, 10
improving, 206–221
style in, 206–207
vocal animation as, 108–109
presenters, choosing identities to show, 5–8
Pressman, Sarah, 111–112
professional communication:
active listening in, 61
failure to connect in, 60
interpersonal, 27–28
open-ended questions in, 37
patterns in, 87
types of, 9–10
types of listening in, 32
workplace status and, 46–49
Project Aristotle study (Google), 59
promotions, asking for, 182–192
Provine, Robert, 58
public speaking:
defined, 9–10
fear/dislike of, x–xi, 205–206
preparing for unexpected situations in, v–vii, 11
voice used in, 106–110
(See also presentations)
Q
Q&A sessions, 212–213
questioning:
as conversation starter, 81
in ethics violation situations, 201
by interviewees, 148–149
by interviewers, 127, 139–140, 145, 151–154
as listening tactic, 36–38, 79
in negotiations, 195–196
after presentations, 212–213
R
raises, asking for (see salary negotiations)
reflection:
in active listening, 34
on communication failures, 11
on communication tactics, 14–15
on meetings, 123
rehearsing, 208–209
relationship management, 101–102
repeated questions, 37
Riggs, Dudley, vi
Rumor Mill game, 33–34
S
safe space:
in giving feedback, 41–42
in team building, 59
salary negotiations:
based on accomplishments, 182–186
examples of, 189–192
things to avoid in, 188–189
self-awareness, 100
self-deprecation, 49, 55, 56, 79–80, 174
self-management, 100
Shark Tank (TV show), 170
“show, don’t tell” principle, 7, 33, 53, 121, 171, 188
silence:
in conversations, 83
in negotiations, 194
in presentations, 209
similarity-attraction hypothesis, 126, 136
Sit-Prob-Sol activity, 96–97, 140–144, 167, 171, 201
small talk, 80–83
Small Talk and Networking class, 73
SMART goals, 103
smiling:
in presentation style, 207
social awareness, 100–101
social media, for job interview research, 126
soloists, 175
specificity:
in answering job interview questions, 131–132, 138, 140
in celebrating accomplishments, 54, 55, 57
of elevator pitch, 67
in storytelling, 98
spin:
in interviews, 126, 129–131, 138, 153, 167
in small talk, 76
Spolin, Viola, vi
spontaneity vs. improvisation, x
Stack, Martin, 111
Stanislavski, Konstantin, vi
status:
in group interviews, 158
salary negotiations and, 187
in workplace, 46–50
stock characters, 7
Story Spine, 118
storytelling:
in business pitches, 171
as educational technique, 109–110
as interview technique, 140
as leadership tactic, 96–99
summarization, 34–35
superwomen/men, 175
Synergy Theatre Project, 118
T
tactics:
in active listening, 33–38
for influencing people, 13
for leading meetings, 94–118
talking points, scripting of, 208
teachers, vocal cadence of, 109
teams:
aggressive communicators on, 165
conflicts within, 198
in meetings, 101
thank-you notes, 147–148
therapeutic listening, 32
Three-Line Conversations (ABA), 29, 31
Trigger Word activity, 85–86
Try This activities:
for active listening, 30–31, 33–35, 51
for being confident, 89, 149, 181
for business pitches, 172
for celebrating accomplishments, 56, 59
for conversational exit strategies, 86–87
for elevator pitches, 68–70, 72, 74–75
for eye contact, 114
function of, ix
for gestures, 115
for giving feedback, 43
for goal setting, 12–13, 15, 103, 105–106
to handle panic, 209
for identifying audiences, 4
for identifying communication styles, 166
for identifying ideal self, 200
for interviews, 128, 132, 136, 144
for memorizing presentations, 121
for mirroring body language, 137
for networking, 67
for pantomime skills, 116
for presentation Q&A prep, 213–214
for presentation style, 206, 217
for reflection skills, 11
for small talk, 82–83
for sparking creativity, 183–184
for spin skills, 131
for status situations, 48–49
for use of questions, 38
for vocal animation, 107–108, 110, 111
for “Yes, and” tactic, 45, 178–179
U
V
Viewpoints exercise, 19, 22, 23, 89, 106, 112, 129, 171
voice:
animated (cadence), 106–110, 139
effect of smiling on, 111
warming up, 214–215
W
“We Should All Be Feminists” (Adichie), 207
“Whose Line Is It Anyway” (TV show), vii, 208
women:
humility and, 52
personal space, power, and, 89
workplace:
celebrating accomplishments in, 52–59, 61
conflicts in, 60, 101–102, 197–203
culture of, 57, 59, 129, 154, 159, 165, 187
ethics violations in, 198–201
personal space in, 88
status in, 46–50
X
XWord activity, 132
Y
“Yes, and” tactic:
in assertive communication, 163
in celebrating accomplishments, 55
in confidence building, 176–181
in conflict management, 101–102, 198, 203
in giving feedback, 44–46
in goal setting, 104–105
in job interviews, 130–131, 149, 155, 156
in networking conversations, 78
in self-management, 100
summarization in, 34–35
Yes, Let’s activity, 58
Young, Valerie, 175
“Your Body Language May Shape Who You Are” (Cuddy), 207
Z