33

CHAPTER
3

T
HE TRUST OF DISCLOSURE: COMMUNICATION TRUST

“I’m really disappointed and disturbed!” Laurie stated. “As a supervisor of this unit, I am always looking out for my people and trying to do the right thing for the company. I can’t believe my employees perceived my actions as self-serving!”

Have you ever felt the pain of being misunderstood? Have people misread your intentions as self-serving, yet you were honestly acting in the best interests of the organization? Have you been in situations where people’s negative perceptions were far from the truth, yet they operated on those erroneous assumptions without checking their accuracy?

“All I did was inform the boss about what was happening out in the field—information he needed to know—and he blew up at me!” Bob said in exasperation. “I’m never going to stick my neck out again!”

Have you ever been shot as the messenger communicating bad news, yet you had nothing to do with creating that bad news? Perhaps you were trying to avert major problems, maybe even a disaster for the company, yet your good intentions were neither acknowledged nor appreciated and were in fact punished.

34

“I’m so grateful that Ethan came directly to me with his questions and concerns about my motivations. What a wonderful experience! He came to me rather than going to everyone else, the typical occurrence in this office. He gave me the opportunity to explain my actions and my needs. We now have a stronger understanding of one another, and our relationship has been strengthened. I know I can count on him to bring issues directly to me, and he can certainly count on me to do the same.”

Have you ever felt hurt because an individual did not talk with you directly about an issue, instead talking about it and you to everyone else behind your back and leaving you to learn about it through the grapevine? What happened to your level of trust?



WHAT IS COMMUNICATION TRUST?

Whether the situation involves an employee-to-employee or supervisor-to-employee relationship, painful misunderstandings, ill-placed outbursts, and undeserved hurts happen everyday on the job. They result in decreased risk taking and collaboration, breakdowns in information sharing, decreased performance, and diminished communication trust.

As we will discuss further in this chapter, communication trust is the willingness to share information, tell the truth, admit mistakes, maintain confidentiality, give and receive constructive feedback, and speak with good purpose. How we practice these behaviors demonstrates our willingness to disclose and the quality of that disclosure. Therefore, in our model we refer to Communication Trust as “Trust of Disclosure” (see Figure 1B).

Trust influences communication, and communication influences trust. The two are very closely related. When leaders readily and consistently share information and involve employees in the running of the business, it not only affects the trust between them but also affects productivity and profitability. People have to know what is happening if they are to work efficiently and effectively and be enthusiastic about what they are doing.

35
9781576759493_WEB_0058_003

Figure 1B Communication Trust

Likewise, employees need to communicate information up to leaders—information that leaders need to make decisions and solve problems. It is extremely embarrassing for leaders to be blindsided in a meeting by questions from the boss or a client regarding issues under their jurisdiction about which they should have known but were unaware. Leaders need their employees to keep them informed appropriately and in a timely manner, just as employees have the same need from their leaders.

36

People’s perceptions affect the level of communication trust between individuals, within teams, and in the organization. It is human nature for people to make assumptions. In low-trust work environments, people tend to assume the negative regarding others’ actions. In higher-trust work environments, people tend to give others the benefit of the doubt and assume the positive, until proven otherwise.



BEHAVIORS THAT CONTRIBUTE TO COMMUNICATION TRUST

There are six primary behaviors that contribute to building and maintaining communication trust in workplace relationships. We discuss them in the sections that follow.



Share Information


Have you ever experienced a breakdown in communication between headquarters and the field offices, management, and employees?

“Management should listen to concerns of employees in the field and act on them, rather than looking at the concerns as whining or complaints. I wish they would keep an open mind in dealing with these concerns, because not doing so builds resentment and breaks trust faster than anything. If management doesn’t care about my concerns regarding the workplace, why should I trust them?”

“I think the management weekly updates have helped keep us
somewhat informed. However, I strongly feel we are told only what management thinks we need to know. I think decisions that we are told we will have input on may already have been made, and management is only going through the motions to make us feel good.”

37

Do we provide information willingly to others? Or do we simply tell them “only what they need to know”? Answering this critical question requires a high degree of honesty with ourselves. Some leaders assume that in the position they hold, they are obligated to tell employees only what they specifically need to do their job. This couldn’t be further from the truth. When employees perceive that information is being withheld from them, they do not feel trusted by their managers. They need their leaders to be straightforward with them; this approach is in the best interests of getting the job done.

When employees don’t have all the information or the correct information, they assume the worst and become anxious, especially in the midst of a change effort. This causes misunderstandings, needless concern, and distrust. When people don’t have the facts, they tend to make them up, and rarely are they positive. Gossip and the grapevine go into high gear, deflecting time and energy away from day-to-day responsibilities.

Managing information is a challenge for leaders: they have to balance the desire and need of employees to understand what is happening in the organization with their own need to manage confidential and proprietary information that cannot be shared. Employees must manage such information as well. Leaders and employees preserve mutual trust when they are open, indicating and clarifying that they are sharing what information they are able to share.

The president of a large manufacturing operation asked us to assist him in assessing the climate of his organization following a significant change process. The changes the organization made were not producing the desired results. The president had a sense that there was some “disconnect” in the level of understanding among the employees regarding the change. He sensed that employees were not aware of the conditions that precipitated the need for change and the ways in which the change was designed to benefit the entire organization. Although the president felt the detachment, he was not clear regarding the specific factors contributing to the employee disengagement and was unsure of how to address it.

As we engaged with this organization and worked with people in all types of positions, we were able to confirm that a disconnect did indeed exist. When provided with a safe forum to talk about their perspectives, employees shared their experiences regarding how the recent changes had been managed:

38

“There was lack of communication and much miscommunication regarding changes that were taking place. People felt lied to. Human Resources had to pick up the pieces after being left out of the decisions. Even if management didn’t have the answers, they simply needed to say ‘We don’t know.’ It appeared as though leadership were operating in a chaos mode. To effectively steer this ship in the direction we need to head, the top management team needs to present a united front.”

“Every level of management has paid a great deal of lip service to
the working troops. The information flow has dried up. Instead we must rely on the rumor mill or grapevine for information. We never really know how accurate it is. We feel as though we have been cut adrift and are floating aimlessly.”

The president’s instincts were right: there was a disconnect between senior leadership and the employees at large. People mentioned that the lack of open information sharing contributed to employees’ losing confidence and trust in leadership and the future direction of the company. As a result, employees were no longer able to trust what they heard and certainly were not able to contribute fully to the organization.

When information is not shared or there is a perception that information is not shared, employees feel betrayed. They feel as though they have not been trusted, and therefore their trust in leadership erodes. A government employee said, “I guess management doesn’t trust that we can handle the information. So we are left in the dark.”

The typical leader knows the importance of giving employees the information they need to do their jobs. Leaders are aware that they have a responsibility to help employees achieve the goals they are expected to achieve. If leaders know these things, one cannot help but wonder why leaders withhold information. There are numerous reasons. Some are conscious and deliberate; others are not. For example, some information may be sensitive or confidential and therefore inappropriate to share. In these circumstances, it is helpful for leaders to indicate to people that they are not at liberty to disclose all information. People are able to understand and respect the need for confidentiality and leadership’s responsibility to maintain it. When a leader says, “I am not able to share all the pertinent information at this time,” that degree of honesty actually enhances people’s trust in their leader. Interestingly enough, even though they are not provided with “all the information,” employees feel informed.

39

It is also true that there are individuals who consciously choose not to share information for personal reasons, the most common of which is fear of loss of control. They fear that not being the only ones “in the know” will reduce their value or power in the organization. This behavior is most common in periods of major change, when people are feeling particularly vulnerable and perhaps threatened. They respond out of a need to justify themselves and their role.

An individual’s readiness to trust others may influence the degree to which he or she shares information. People who are trusting of others tend to be more forthcoming in sharing information. Individuals operating from hesitancy to trust others will be more inclined to withhold information.

Often leaders are not even aware that they are withholding information. This typically occurs when they are dealing with a vast array of issues and are working under tremendous pressure. Furthermore, they often assume that information-sharing channels are open and flowing when in reality they are not. Even though the withholding of information may not have been intended, people experience it as a betrayal, and trust is undermined.

Leaders are employees’ best source for honest, accurate, and timely information. Sharing ideas and information with employees builds trust as well as enhances decision making, productivity, and the bottom line. Through sharing, leaders demonstrate trust in people to manage such information.

“I think management is taking the time and trying to listen to our concerns,” one employee said to another. “The whole issue of communication between leadership and employees has vastly improved. There is still some room for improvement. But I think the town hall meetings and companywide forums are important—they provide avenues for open communication between leadership and staff that includes employees from all entities of this organization. They allow for a larger view of what is happening in the organization. Often we focus only on our own department or unit and don’t always take into consideration the impact our decisions and actions have on the whole.”

40

Armed with a sense of knowing what’s what, people are able to focus on performing their jobs with innovation and creativity, rather than on expending energy trying to fill in information gaps. This knowledge and clarity strengthens the foundation for trust in work relationships and the organization’s capacity for trust expands. Withholding information to gain control, power, and perceived job security has the opposite effect and produces significant loss—it undermines trust in leaders’ relationships with their employees. The organization’s capacity for trust shrinks.



Tell the Truth

“At work, I cannot always honestly share my thoughts and feelings. I’m afraid of what will happen if I do. I have developed a tendency to say what I think they want me to say rather than how I truly feel. This isn’t the way I want to be or how others generally see me, but this is how I feel safest in my current work environment. As long as I am professional and considerate in expressing my opinions, there shouldn’t be any negative consequences, but unfortunately this is not always the case.”

“I would like management to provide a process where people can
voice their concerns, feelings, and needs safely. Recognize the need to openly talk about the issues and work them through. Allow subordinates to speak with superiors and with one another without retribution. People listening and talking with one another without prejudging or overreacting—this is what creates trust in the workplace!”

41

Do we communicate openly and honestly? Do we create safe forums or work environments for people to express their concerns or voice their feelings without our prejudging them, making assumptions, or overreacting? Can employees speak the truth without fear of retribution? Particularly in times of change, people yearn for straightforward communication and need it from their leaders and one another. This means no lying, no exaggerating, no stretching or omitting or spinning of the truth. Lying and spinning destroy trust. If people don’t tell the truth, trust can’t grow. This is particularly important in today’s global economy, where honesty is highly valued worldwide.

Experience shows that when the truth goes by the wayside, trust diminishes. People’s natural openness is replaced by sarcasm and cynicism. Regardless of how savvy we may be in spinning the truth, others detect when they are receiving anything less than the full truth. Partial truth creates a major betrayal that may take a great deal of time to overcome.

Truth telling is the foundation for trust in an organization, and people deserve nothing short of the truth. Telling the truth sometimes takes courage, and employees look to their leaders to have those “courageous conversations.” Especially in times of change, employees need their leaders to scrupulously and unflinchingly tell the truth—and nothing but the truth. As one health care finance manager put it, “Leadership means finding a way to be honest at all costs. That is the best way to lead. People want the truth! A good leader finds a way to deliver the hard messages.” When people do not tell the truth, they actually betray themselves. Their sense of trust in themselves is compromised.

Because trust and honesty go together, a leader’s behavior is crucial in building trust and fostering honest communication. Through their behavior, leaders can facilitate discussion of problems and concerns and then model responding in a nonjudgmental and engaging way. In so doing, they role-model this behavior for employees to practice with one another. Having the straight story and accurate information helps employees make better decisions, take the initiative to assume responsibility, be more productive, and make a strong contribution to the organization.

42

We have often heard employees, at all levels of the organization, express their concerns regarding the willingness of people—including themselves—to tell the truth. “We don’t speak the truth at work,” a marketing manager said. People tend to withhold the truth or “sugar-coat it to protect the current relationship or to avoid negative repercussions. The truth is too raw; people can’t handle it. We are afraid of the truth. We don’t trust what others will do with it.”

Although in the short run avoiding the truth may protect the relationship, in the long run it does damage to the relationship and to the trust on which the relationship is built. Hence openness and honesty are essential for creating an environment of trust. These behaviors demonstrate respect and valuing of others. As a customer service rep expressed, “I find it easier to trust someone who is genuine about their feelings. I had a coworker in a former job who used to go ‘overboard’ with her compliments. It was so phony that you just knew she didn’t mean anything she said. Not many people trusted her, and frankly, neither did I.”

Avoiding the truth is a form of betrayal to ourselves and to the people with whom we are in a relationship. By not telling the truth, we compromise our sense of trustworthiness to others and to ourselves. The truth, although sometimes initially painful, can help people make a better adjustment to a situation, thus expanding the capacity for trust in a relationship.

We recently spent the day with a group of senior executives of one of the largest Fortune 100 companies. The purpose of the day was to explore what they, as top leadership, could do to build trusting relationships in their organization. A vice president looked at his colleagues and candidly said, “You know, it strikes me that we as a group sit in this room and spend more time talking about how we can put ‘spin’ on something rather than just telling the truth. And who are we trying to kid that our employees don’t see it!”

These executives had become aware of the time and energy they spent in avoiding telling the truth. By adding spin, they were not being honest with their employees or themselves. As this group of executives was able to discover, spinning the truth doesn’t work, no matter how bad the news is. It breaks down a leader’s credibility. It decreases trust between the leader and people. As one of their employees sadly stated, “We need honest answers from leadership. I have heard so much doublespeak and contradictory information lately, I don’t know who to trust.”

43



Admit Mistakes

“When I take responsibility and admit my mistakes, it gives my employees permission that it is safe to admit their mistakes. As a leader, the last thing I need is to be blindsided by covered up mistakes that my employees made and that I should have known about and could have corrected before they are shipped to our customers.”

“We need to increase our speed to market,” said the president of a
personal products company. “This means we have got to find new, innovative ways of manufacturing our products. I need my people to think out of the box, to take some risks. Yes, they will make mistakes, but we need to treat those mistakes as an investment in our future position in the marketplace.”

Do we readily admit mistakes? Do we take responsibility for our mistakes? How leaders deal with their mistakes and those made by others sets the tone for the rest of the organization and is a key factor in creating communication trust.

When any of us makes a mistake, it really is in our best interest to own up to it. It does not serve relationships to “stonewall” or cover up, which simply creates more significant problems. When energy is focused on covering up mistakes, precious time is wasted, and productivity, innovation, and creativity are lost. Such deception costs everyone, in many ways.

Avoiding mistakes at all costs is no way to run an organization, and almost guarantees a distrusting environment. There are no industries today where that can be tolerated. An environment where people are taking risks and stretching themselves to make progress is an environment where mistakes happen. If the individual and organization don’t acknowledge those mistakes, they cannot learn from them. Remember the number of filaments that Edison tried in his efforts to invent the light bulb. Those could be described as mistakes. He categorized those “mistakes,” learned from them, and created an innovation. He could not have succeeded if he and his staff could not admit to mistakes. Leaders need to set the tone by admitting their own mistakes. They can choose to create a climate where mistakes are acknowledged or one in which mistakes are severely punished. Which choice fosters trust and supports business performance?

44

Leaders may be reluctant to disclose their mistakes or their concerns and feelings for fear of appearing weak. They may worry that this type of disclosure will compromise their employees’ trust in them. In fact, for leaders at all levels, admitting one’s mistakes goes a long way toward rebuilding trust with employees. Employees respect a leader who readily acknowledges his or her mistakes and makes amends for them. “In admitting when I make a mistake, it sets the tone and creates a safe environment. It shows employees that I am human and that I am vulnerable,” said one senior manager in the computer industry. Admitting mistakes demonstrates a strong sense of trust in oneself. Remember, when others perceive that we trust ourselves, they are more inclined to place their trust in us too.

Trust is reciprocal. We get what we give. When we admit our mistakes, it is safe for others to admit theirs. Just as leaders must admit their mistakes, employees must own their errors as well. It does not build trust when people who repeatedly make mistakes hide behind excuses and abuse a leader’s good nature and willingness to forgive.



Give and Receive Constructive Feedback

“Many people avoid giving feedback because they are afraid of confrontation or of hurting another’s feelings. Giving feedback can involve lengthy conversations where issues are brought to the table. Many times, it’s easier to avoid doing this. I’m not saying this is effective, but it happens in this workplace.”

“I know it is going to be difficult for Joseph to hear how he came
across in the meeting with the division team. But I have a responsibility to provide him that feedback so that he can grow from it. I don’t want to rob him of that opportunity.”

45

Do we give constructive feedback in a timely and effective manner, or do we avoid it for fear of confrontation? Do we give it with the intention of serving the other, or do we use it to serve ourselves?

“I appreciate leaders who are humble enough to receive feedback that isn’t always positive; that creates trust among their people, and it helps me learn how to receive feedback. As an employee, I see receiving constructive feedback as an opportunity for me to learn or change what I do; it’s not an attack on me as an individual.”

Are we willing and open to receiving feedback—without getting defensive? Giving and receiving feedback is a critical factor in creating communication trust.

The president of a large manufacturing firm confided in us that his senior executive team meetings were too cordial. “Everyone is so courteous to one another—too courteous,” he remarked. Upon further investigation, we quickly found out that there was a lot of unresolved conflict among the department heads. Because of their reluctance to confront issues openly and give each other constructive feedback, many of those issues were not addressed. The managers would talk to the president about their concerns but were unwilling to speak directly to the people involved. The managers hoped the president would intervene and do the talking for them. As the situation continued to go downhill, the level of trust among the senior executive team continued to deteriorate.

Does this sound familiar? Situations like this are not uncommon in organizations where people are unable or unwilling to give each other direct and constructive feedback. The result is that people don’t know where they stand, and that undermines trust within the organization.

Positive feedback generates a sense of acceptance that is essential if we are then to take in corrective feedback. Given skillfully, with sensitivity and respect, feedback may open up channels of communication and further the development of trust. In addition, working with feedback, both giving and receiving, is an opportunity to become more aware of ourselves and others, which can expand our readiness to trust others and our sense of our own trustworthiness. When feedback is not a part of organizational life, we are robbed of this opportunity.

46

Providing constructive feedback sends a message that we are invested in the relationship that we trust that the individual will pay attention to what we have to say. (By “constructive feedback” we mean feedback that is intended to serve the other’s growth.) But how we give it makes all the difference in the world. As one experienced employee stated, “I think it is important to give feedback in a nonthreatening, respectful manner. We need to acknowledge what was done, whether right or wrong, without making anyone wrong and then explore other ways of doing things. I also think that if you have feedback to give someone, it is important to give it to them directly instead of talking about them to everyone else.” Speaking directly to the individual about his or her behavior and performance is critical to maintaining effective working relationships, especially if the other’s behavior is having a negative effect on performance.

Individuals demonstrate a commitment to their relationships when they express their true thoughts and feelings about each other in a timely and appropriate manner. As one production worker on the shop floor of a northeastern manufacturing plant exclaimed to another, “If you ever get teed off at me, I want you to tell me. I’m a big boy. I can handle it.” Or as an office worker exclaimed in a one-on-one communication session, “I don’t know how to read you at times, and if I get upset with you, I shut up. That’s not good. We need to talk things through with each other as they come up. We need to build on the trust we have had and keep building on it!” Giving each other effective feedback contributes to developing and maintaining trusting relationships that directly affect performance.To give feedback effectively, we need to be willing to receive it in return— nondefensively. When receiving feedback, we need to listen to the intent of what people are saying, rather than think of a comeback or response. We need to make an effort to show genuine interest in what we are hearing. Leaders support building this environment of trust around feedback by giving and receiving it themselves consistently.

47

But what gets in the way of giving and receiving feedback effectively? People who are hesitant to trust others and themselves tend to have difficulty giving and receiving constructive feedback. If they have unresolved issues with someone with whom they work, the amount and intensity of feedback they give may be out of proportion to a specific occurrence. Individuals with low trust in themselves may generalize about how this situation relates to past mistakes (whether they are similar or not). They may also attempt to project onto others their own feelings of inadequacy and fear, further clouding the issue at hand. The resulting distrust begets more distrust.

In receiving constructive feedback, people may find it difficult to trust themselves and others. They may not trust the messenger because of their low readiness to trust or because they are not convinced that the messenger is genuinely interested in their well-being. (For example, their manager tells everyone he has an open-door policy and that anything can be shared in confidence, but then takes punitive action against anyone who complains about anything.) Another problem might be that instead of hearing the issues presented, they cloud their perspective by consciously or unconsciously revisiting their past or bringing up prior mistakes they have made. They have difficulty separating the past from the present, possibly because they have unresolved issues.

These individuals’ low readiness to trust gets projected externally and impedes their ability to develop effective relationships. Issues surrounding their performance don’t get resolved but continue to mount. The issues of today get lumped together with the issues of yesterday. These individuals may have difficulty separating who they are from what they do and draw negative conclusions about themselves: “I will never be any good at this,” or “I just can’t trust myself in these situations.”

Trust develops when people feel comfortable and safe enough to share their perceptions regarding one another’s behavior without negative repercussions. They trust that they will not suffer the consequences of retaliation because they spoke the truth.

Working constructively with feedback helps develop our readiness and willingness to trust—in ourselves, our views, our perceptions, and our experiences. From this perspective, feedback is a gift—to those giving it and to those receiving it. Either way, when given with positive intentions and practiced skill, honest feedback helps us grow and develop, and nurtures communication trust.

48



Maintain Confidentiality

“I am appalled by employees discussing confidential information inappropriately. The eagerness, of some, to expose confidential information about a colleague or misuse personal information of coworkers is shocking.”

“Patient information in our organization is treated with high
standards of confidentially and dignity. In their reports, nurses report only pertinent patient information. Patient care always comes first, and it shows in the professionalism of the reports.”

In any kind of relationship, confidentiality is essential to maintaining communication trust. We need to remember that when others have entrusted us with private or sensitive information, we have an obligation to honor that trust. There are times when maintaining confidentiality is a business responsibility, the breach of which may cost us our jobs. Other times, maintaining confidentiality is a relational responsibility, the breach of which may cost us our relationship.

Do we respect someone’s request to maintain the confidentiality of sensitive information, or do we leak information to a close friend? Violating an agreement of confidentiality is an unabashed betrayal. It is a sure and fast way to destroy a person’s trust to the point where it may never be regained. As one concerned employee shared, “If someone comes to me in confidence and shares something that has happened to them, I honor their confidence. If I don’t, I know rumors will get started, things get out of hand, and damage will be done.”

When trust is low, people fear that their confidential conversations will be used against them or that the information will be leaked across the organization. A midlevel manager explained, “I would like to go to my boss and confide in him about stressful situations that challenge me. But he appraises me, and I don’t want to be perceived as weak.” Another manager shared, “We, as a company, can’t keep conversations in confidence. As a result, I’m afraid to share private information because it gets spread throughout the organization. That is how rumors get started and information gets distorted.”

49

How do we deal with this kind of behavior? Such a breach of trust needs to be confronted with candor, respect, and sensitivity. Confronting others when there has been a breach of confidentiality is necessary if there is to be a trusting relationship in the future. The following illustrates how one colleague addressed a breach of confidentiality with another: “I bring myself to you with the highest integrity and confidentiality. I asked you on Monday to maintain confidence about X. After our conversation, I heard that you shared that information with others. I expect from you the same high degree of integrity and confidentiality that I bring to you. If I have a conversation with you in confidence, I expect you to keep it. Are we in agreement?”

Having this kind of conversation lets the other party know that you know what has happened. It establishes a clear boundary and sets explicit expectations (contractual trust) regarding future communication between the two of you. If we fail to address breaches of confidentiality, animosity and distrust result in our relationships with others. Left unaddressed, this kind of behavior can diminish any relationship. If this behavior proliferates in the workplace, it can destroy all trust and cripple the organization’s performance.



Speak with Good Purpose

“GOSSIP!!! Yes, I am aware of gossip around here. Who isn’t? You’d either have to be deaf, dumb, and blind or living in seclusion not to hear it. Although I don’t condone it, I am sure I am a perpetrator as well as a victim of it. If I hear something about someone else, I usually ignore it. Sometimes if I am close to the situation being talked about, I will play the devil’s advocate and defend the person being talked about. When I gossip about someone else, I tend to feel guilty, but only after everything is said and done, because honestly, no one thinks about it when they are actually doing it!”

50

“We have an agreement, on this team, to talk directly to one another when a problem arises rather than complain behind one another’s back. We have learned that when you hear others talking in a negative way, it is important to encourage them to stop or talk to ‘the person’ directly. Before reacting to something that you hear, it is important find out the whole story. What we often hear through the grapevine is not accurate and can be quite damaging. It is we who must stop it.”

Do we gossip about fellow employees behind their backs? Or, if we have a concern or issue with an individual, do we speak directly to the person? We speak with good purpose when we address issues or concerns directly with the individual with whom we have them. We do so with the best of intentions. Individuals who speak with good purpose speak constructively and affirmatively and stand up for each other. Conversely, when we gossip, criticize, and shun others, we destroy trust between individuals, within a team, and throughout an organization. The consequences are devastating to relationships, morale, and performance. In such work climates, the organization’s ability to trust severely diminishes. “We talk about each other behind each other’s backs,” admitted one supervisor in the electronics industry. “When someone has an issue with another, we don’t speak directly to that person but blab it all over the lunchroom. Backbiting is rampant around here!”

Do we share what is on our mind clearly and freely, or do we use insinuating remarks or slighting digs to convey our thoughts indirectly? When we are called to task for indirect remarks, do we take responsibility or hide behind a white lie: “Oh, I was only joking. Don’t be so sensitive!” When we engage in dishonest communication by not saying what we mean openly and directly, we misrepresent the reality of our feelings. In so doing, we do harm to our relationships. This is a betrayal of ourselves and others. This costs us our trustworthiness. Soon other people will not trust us and will be guarded around us. They will withhold information about themselves for fear of being hurt or treated disrespectfully by us.

When we do not speak with good purpose, we betray our inner sense of ourselves. When we hide behind inappropriate humor and sarcasm, we betray our true voice, we betray what really needs to be said. The price we pay is the loss of a trusting relationship.

51

Leaders need to counter unfair criticism head-on, as do employees with one another. Leaders need to make it explicitly clear that engaging in gossiping and backbiting behavior is inappropriate, unprofessional, and unacceptable in their workplace. It breaks that precious entity that binds relationships—trust. As one savvy leader shared, “I have made my expectations clear, that people in this division address issues and concerns with one another directly rather than through a back door. To back up my expectations, I provided resources to help them develop the skills to do so mindfully. They now directly communicate problems and concerns to the appropriate individuals in an appropriate manner. Sure, there are slip-ups, and gossip does creep in. But it does not create the distraction and damage it once did. It is managed.”

Speaking out against gossip builds a safe environment in which to trust.



COMMUNICATION TRUST BUILDS RELATIONSHIPS

We all have a need for effective relationships with those with whom we work and with whom we live. We have a need for connection with one another—to be heard, understood, supported, and given the benefit of the doubt when we trip up. Relationships are indeed a fundamental human need we share, and they are fundamental to meeting business needs. Business is conducted through relationships, and trust is the foundation to effective relationships.

A number of leaders we have interviewed work very hard to break down barriers and open communication with people. They have found that people welcome the opportunity to experience a leader’s humanness, to have a window to who they are as a person. People want to see the different aspects of their leader. Experiencing their leader as human helps people feel safe and invites trust.

A leader’s credibility unfolds through the development of trusting relationships. Trust develops through active engagement and participation with others. Enter into meaningful dialogue with your people. They want it! Find out what matters to them. Engage them in conversation about matters that are important to you and to them. Let them hear and see what is on your mind and what is in your heart.

52

Relationships develop through leaders’ demonstrating a strong sense of trust in their people. The practice of communication trust helps leaders understand people better. Leaders can’t take an organization singlehandedly where it needs to go. They have to be able to count on effective relationships with people and to help employees learn to enhance their contribution to the organization. Inclusion and involvement need to become integral to leaders’ daily operating style. Their words and actions reinforce trust and fairness. As one leader expressed, “Trust is the delicate fabric of human relationships. It is influenced far more by our behaviors than our words. It takes a long time to weave, but it can become frayed or torn very easily. Even a single action, perhaps misunderstood, can have significant effects.”

A subtle yet common way leaders betray employees or employees betray one another or their leaders is by failing to practice the behaviors of communication trust. Understanding people means recognizing the importance and validity of their need for communication. Trust develops between leaders and their people and between employees when they understand that the other cares and is there to support them—to take risks and to fulfill his or her responsibilities. Communication trust contributes to the development of safe and productive work environments where an individual’s capacity to trust in self and others increases, relationships flourish, and the organization’s performance expands.



TRUST BUILDING IN ACTION

Reflecting on Your Experience


  1. Where in your personal and work life do you experience high levels of communication trust?
  2. Of the six behaviors that contribute to communication trust, choose one or two that you feel represent opportunities for you to build more trust in your relationships with others.
    • Share information
    • Tell the truth
    • 53Admit mistakes
    • Give and receive constructive feedback
    • Maintain confidentiality
    • Speak with good purpose

Application Exercises


A. The following questions are intended to facilitate dialogue as a team. Reflect on the following behaviors that create communication trust. Share those thoughts with your teammates. Observe how you practice each of these behaviors and its impact on communication trust.


  1. Share information. How willingly do you share information with others? Do you receive the information you need? What happens to your communication trust when you don’t? What can you do in the future to share information at a high level and encourage others to share with you?

  2. Tell the truth. Do others tell you the truth? What happens to your level of trust when you question the truthfulness of others? What can you do to encourage more truth telling both by you and by others?

  3. Admit mistakes. Are you willing to admit your mistakes? What happens when you do admit mistakes? What do you do when others admit their mistakes? What can you do to support the admission of mistakes within your organization?

  4. Give and receive constructive feedback. How do giving and receiving constructive feedback contribute to communication trust in your organization? What can you do in the future to encourage constructive feedback?

  5. Maintain confidentiality. How do you decide what to share and what to hold back? How do you balance this behavior with the need to share information?

  6. Speak with good purpose. How do people speak of each other in your organization? Do they speak respectfully of others, or is there a lot of gossiping and backbiting? What can you do to promote speaking with good purpose in your organization?
54

B. One-on-One Communication Meetings. The following exercise is intended to facilitate communication trust within a group or team. This process is effective in dealing with interpersonal issues that impede communication and performance within a group. Construct a matrix of all the participants in the group so that every person has an opportunity to have a one-on-one meeting with everyone else. Set up one- to two-hour meetings. (Refer to the communication matrix in the following illustration as a sample.) Have participants speak candidly to one another regarding how they interact and work together. You may use the following sentences to add structure to the meeting. Have each person reflect on these in preparation for the meetings with each of their teammates.


  • What I appreciate about you is . . .
  • What works in our relationship is . . .
  • What doesn’t work in our relationship is . . .
  • What I need from you is . . .
  • Let’s brainstorm together ways in which we can work together better.

This exercise works with groups as small as four individuals or as large as twelve. For larger groups, you might want to divide the participants into subgroups to expedite the process.

If there is low trust or antagonism within the group, it is advisable to lead these sessions with a skilled facilitator who does not have a relationship with any of the participants. It is important to conduct the sessions in a confined time frame to achieve optimum results. We strongly encourage that team members contract with one another before the sessions start to keep these conversations confidential. Establish working agreements ahead of time to ensure the psychological safety of the participants.



Trust Note


Trust influences communication, and communication influences trust. The two are very closely related. Leaders who readily and consistently share information and involve employees in the running of the business not only build trust within the organization but also boost productivity and profitability.

55
9781576759493_WEB_0078_001

Trust Tip


When we gossip, criticize, and shun others, we destroy trust between individuals, within a team, and throughout an organization. The consequences are devastating to relationships, morale, and performance. Conversely, when we speak with good purpose, speak constructively and affirmatively and stand up for each other, we build trust, strengthen relationships, boost morale and improve performance.

..................Content has been hidden....................

You can't read the all page of ebook, please click here login for view all page.
Reset
3.14.70.163