Chapter 12

Writing the Winning Proposal

The material contained in your proposal is the only information source selection evaluators have to evaluate the proposal. In fact, they are expressly forbidden to include other information. An exception is when oral presentations or site surveys are included as part of the technical evaluation. Even then, that information is normally supplemental to what you submitted in your written proposal.

Your customer may know you and may be familiar with your experience and capability. Even so, do not count on a favorable customer bias or their knowledge of your organization when you prepare your proposal. Such reliance is ill-advised and very risky.

To write the winning proposal, you must clearly respond to all RFP requirements and structure your response so that information appears where evaluators expect to see it. An evaluator will sit down with your proposal along with a list of evaluation criteria and standards organized according to the Section L instructions. The evaluator will read your proposal to determine the extent to which your written response meets those standards. Because evaluation criteria are tied to Section L, it is critical to present material in the same order as it is requested in that section. In addition, you must address the evaluation criteria and incorporate any other relevant RFP requirements.

The order of priority for addressing RFP requirements is:

• Section L instructions

• Section M evaluation criteria

• Statement of work

• Specifications or CDRLs

• Special contract clauses.

You must also provide sufficient information to convince the customer that you are the best choice for the contract.

WRITING TO EVALUATORS

The customers for your proposal are the government evaluators who make up the source selection team. They read your proposal, compare it to evaluation standards, and assign it a score or rating. Although they do not make the source selection decision, their evaluation results are the foundation on which the source selection decision is made. Toward that end, they are not only the final voice but also the only voice that matters in determining the merit of your proposal. You must convince individual evaluators that your proposal offers the best solution to meet their requirement. In simple terms: Satisfy your customer and you win; fail to satisfy your customer and you lose.

Who are source selection evaluators? Mostly, they are people like you and me. They generally want to do a good job, and they care about conducting a fair and effective source selection. However, keep in mind that evaluating proposals is a very difficult and often thankless job. Evaluators may enjoy their task even less than you enjoy reading RFPs and writing proposals. They may be inexperienced. Rarely do they have enough time to perform their tasks properly. Often they are not experts in the subject matter they are asked to review. Frequently they have very little experience evaluating proposals. They have biases, likes, and dislikes. They are influenced by the same things as other people. Furthermore, more than one government evaluator may be suspicious or distrustful of government contractors.

How you view the people who will evaluate your proposal can have a significant impact on how you prepare your proposal response. This in turn affects the score your proposal receives and ultimately the probability that you will win the competition.

Have you ever reviewed a large stack of résumés and tried to decide which ones to retain for further review and which ones to discard? It is a difficult challenge. Faced with this task, people tend to unconsciously look for reasons to eliminate résumés from further consideration to simplify the review process. I think government evaluators sometimes use a similar approach to evaluating proposals, especially if there are many bidders.

Make the evaluators’ job as easy as possible. Do not give them a reason to “set your proposal aside” or assign it a low score. Instead, give them all the information they need to complete their task and equip them with enough reasons to select you as the winner. This is easier said than done, but the following tips will help keep you on the right path:

• Present proposal information where evaluators expect to find it. Organize your proposal in the exact same order that Section L information is requested. If possible, use the same paragraph numbering scheme, paragraph headings, and key words as Section L to make it clear what information is being provided.

• Clearly and effectively answer the Section L questions. Evaluators read your proposal looking for the information they need to compare with the evaluation standard. If they have difficulty finding this information or determining whether your proposal fully addresses the standard, they may assign a low score to this section. If the evaluator is tired, is having a bad day, or happens to be lazy, you may receive an “unacceptable” or “unsatisfactory” rating. Recall that one poor rating can negatively affect the rating for an entire factor. It is impossible to overemphasize the importance of providing a clear, concise proposal answer to the information requested in Section L and placing it where the evaluator expects to find it.

• Write to the evaluators, not your technical peers. Do not presume that the evaluator possesses any technical expertise. Many do not. Your response must be understandable to the layperson. In addition, it must contain sufficient detail and information to satisfy the technical expert.

• Use simple, straightforward language to communicate your ideas. Avoid technical jargon and use acronyms sparingly, taking time to spell them out the first time they appear. Do not try to impress anyone with your extensive vocabulary or bury readers with your technical sophistication. Even relatively inexperienced evaluators recognize a verbal snowstorm when they see it.

• Do not omit requested information because you think the customer already knows it. As indicated above, evaluators are allowed to evaluate only what you submit in your proposal.

• Do not use language or style that even hints of arrogance. This tends to be a problem with very large companies and those that have especially strong technical expertise. No one likes arrogance, including evaluators. Arrogant language often does not appear arrogant to the author because an arrogant statement may be true. “We are the best gismo manufacturer on the planet, and no one else even comes close” might be true. Yet it probably will not be well received by evaluators. There are more graceful ways to boast about your company’s strengths. A better rendering might be, “We have produced two million gismos over the past five years, more than twice as many as any other supplier. Moreover, our gismos have a 99 percent reliability rate, which leads the industry.”

• Substantiate your claims. Unsupported claims tend to be viewed as little more than idle boasting or arrogance. In fact, no claims are better than unsubstantiated claims.

• Do not let your frustration or displeasure with the RFP or the way the customer is asking for information seep into your proposal. What the customer is asking for and the way it is being requested may be inane. That does not matter. It is, after all, the customer’s RFP.

• Do not attack competitors directly or by name. Instead, “ghost” their approach, highlighting a competitor’s weakness by emphasizing your strength or by creating the impression that the competitor’s approach is more risky or less desirable than what you are proposing.

• Use the same language and terms used in the RFP. This applies not only to paragraph headings but also to how you refer to objects or processes in your proposal narrative. If the RFP refers to a process as the “XYZ system,” then you should also refer to the process as the XYZ system in your proposal, regardless of whether that is the term you normally use. Using the RFP language may help evaluators find information they are looking for.

• Do not assume that the evaluator scoring one section of your proposal has read the other sections. Proposals are often divided among evaluators. Some evaluators read only a single proposal section or only the sections related to their area of responsibility. If a point made in another part of your proposal is relevant or important, summarize its relevance or importance to the current section. If the other material is contained in the same proposal volume or section, summarize the point and refer the evaluator to the other section for more detail. Of course, if you send the evaluator to another part of the proposal, be sure that the reference is correct and relevant. If an evaluator looks for a cross reference and fails to find it, you may receive a lower score than if you had omitted the reference.

WRITING THE FIRST DRAFT

The proposal method I advocate focuses on responding to RFP requirements. For the first draft, do not worry about themes, discriminators, or features and benefits. Integrate them in the next pass. The danger lies in authors focusing on themes and discriminators at the expense of responding to RFP requirements. Even the most experienced proposal writers struggle with trying to integrate too much into a first draft.

This approach is based on two presumptions. First, it presumes that the first draft proposal is being written to a draft RFP. Therefore, ample time will be available to integrate things like bid strategies and themes. Second, this approach is based on working with a relatively inexperienced proposal team. If you have a team of seasoned veterans who routinely prepare proposals, you may elect a different approach.

If you do not start your first draft until after the final RFP is released, and you have a relatively short response time, you face a dilemma. Can you afford to wait until late in the proposal preparation cycle to integrate your bid strategy and to highlight reasons why the customer should pick you? All the themes, discriminators, features and benefits, and good words in the world will seldom produce a winner if you fail to respond adequately to RFP requirements. Consider the following analogy to illustrate this point.

Imagine you are asked to bake a cake that will be evaluated at the annual state fair. No judge will respond favorably to a plate of icing, candles, and glitter without a cake underneath. You must bake the cake first. Responding to RFP requirements is “baking the cake.” Themes, discriminators, features, and benefits are the “glitter.” They enhance, but do not replace, the basic cake.

Getting authors to write clear proposal narrative that responds to RFP requirements is among the most difficult aspects of preparing a winning proposal. It might also be the single most important component. Unfortunately, many proposal team members struggle with their writing assignments. Here are a few tips for authors getting started on the first draft:

• Find a place to write that is free of distractions. Working in your office is probably a bad idea. Ideally, your organization will have a separate location for proposal preparation. Otherwise, find a place where you will not be interrupted by phone calls and your normal work routine.

• Start with the detailed outline contained in the author guide. This is your primary planning document. It provides the basic structure and content to get you started.

• Do not try to write the perfect first draft. This is perhaps the single greatest reason for writer’s block. We call it a “first” draft because we know it will require revision.

• Do not worry about grammar, spelling, typing errors, or anything else that will distract you from your primary assignment. These corrections can be made later. Just keep writing.

• Write the easiest parts of the proposal section first. If you get to a writing impasse, move on to another section.

• Do not worry about page allocations. My general rule is not to exceed three times the allocation. It is far easier to edit an oversized section than it is to generate more text. An author concerned about page allocation may not be a good judge of what to include and what to delete.

• If you get stuck or just cannot seem to get started, try “free writing.” This is just writing whatever comes to mind: “Here I sit working on this stupid proposal. I don’t know what to say or how to say it. I wish I were somewhere else. Maybe if I just let my mind wander, eventually I will be able to write something of value.” Keep at it until you feel comfortable with writing, and then turn your attention back to the proposal. If this does not work, consider sitting with a friend or colleague and explaining what you are trying to say or explain in the proposal. Sometimes this will help organize or focus your thoughts to the point where you can capture them with words.

• Do not get frustrated or discouraged if you are having difficulty with your writing. Unless you are a member of the proposal staff, it is unlikely that you were hired for your writing ability. Even professional writers struggle with their writing and wrestle with periodic writer’s block.

CLEAR AND EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATIONS

One of your primary objectives is to communicate your message clearly. If the evaluators cannot find the information where they expect to see it or do not understand what you are saying, your competitors will likely gain competitive advantage.

Use paragraph headings from the proposal outline and author guide to organize content. The proposal headings and numbering contained in the author guide should not be altered, but you can use subparagraph headings to organize the topics within a section. This is especially important when a single Section L instruction includes multiple requirements and topics.

Focus your writing on the topic and do not stray. This is easier said than done. It is amazing how easy it is to write around a topic without ever addressing the Section L requirement. Consider the following lighthearted example:

This is a good example of how not to write. The text sounds okay, but it does not answer the Section L requirement. That makes it nonresponsive, which means it will receive a poor score. In addition, all the claims are vague and lack substantiation. This makes them meaningless. The same thing happens in real proposals, only the topics are usually more complicated than peanut butter sandwiches.

Write from general to specific and from simple to complex. If you are explaining a complicated process, provide a brief overview highlighting its key characteristics. Then fill in the details in subsequent sentences or paragraphs. Similarly, you can break a system or process into its major components, followed by a more detailed description of each component. For example:

Then describe each of these steps in the same order they were introduced.

Here is another example:

Now, provide the details about the assemblies, again in the order they were mentioned.

Starting with specific or complex information at the beginning of a section makes it difficult for the reader to understand. Avoid this pitfall. Moving from general to specific will help readers conceptualize the process or system you are describing. Moreover, it is a good way to organize proposal narrative logically.

REVISING THE FIRST DRAFT

After you have captured your first thoughts in writing, it is time to massage them into compelling narrative that fully and clearly satisfies all RFP requirements. The starting point is the author guide. Review the draft response against the requirements contained there and against your detailed outline. Have you addressed every RFP requirement? Have you made all the points you intended? Put yourself in the place of the evaluator. Does the section contain the information you would expect to see? Have you incorporated any customer biases, fears, or preferences into your write-up? Use the answers to these questions to help guide your next iteration.

As part of your revision efforts, you should start to correct spelling, grammar, and any other errors in the first draft. You should also use this version to begin organizing and polishing proposal narrative so it communicates your message effectively.

Once you are convinced your proposal section addresses each relevant RFP requirement effectively, submit it for an internal or in-process review by the proposal manager or the technical volume manager. The purpose of the internal review is to verify that the proposal section complies with and is responsive to all RFP requirements. This review is also used to provide feedback to the author that will help with the next draft.

PAGE-LIMITED PROPOSALS

Most RFPs limit the number of pages you are allowed to present in your proposal. Usually such limitations apply to only the technical proposal, but not always. In other cases, page limitations are levied on only particular sections of the proposal, excluding things like statement of work, specifications, plans, and detailed schedules. Exceeding page limitations has dire consequences. First, it suggests to the customer that you cannot follow directions. More important, pages beyond the limitation will not be evaluated. This alone could cause you to lose the bid.

Page-limited proposals are consistent with acquisition streamlining initiatives. Faced with the task of evaluating multiple proposals, the customer makes the evaluation task manageable by limiting the number of allowable pages. Without limitations, bidders tend to bury the customer in an avalanche of words, perhaps hoping that longer is better. I can recall in years gone by loading our proposal onto an 18-wheeler with a forklift and driving it to the customer. Thank heavens those days are history.

RFPs that limit the number of allowable proposal pages also specify maximum allowable page sizes, margins, minimum font sizes, and line spacing to prevent bidders from nullifying the limitation. They normally specify what you may or may not include as appended material or exhibits, charts, videotapes, etc. These may be limited, completely barred, or admissible only under certain specified conditions. These RFPs also define pages that are not subject to the page count, such as cover sheets, tables of contents, and specific proposal sections. Page limitations and format are defined in Section L of the RFP and should be captured in your proposal requirements document.

Page-limited proposals discourage verbosity and affect how you structure your response. The challenge you face is addressing all RFP requirements and presenting a compelling sales message within the boundaries of the limitation. You may view page limitations as a barrier to presenting your case. Indeed, sometimes it appears to be an impossible task to fit all the requested information into the available pages. Yet, the resourceful proposal team can turn this into an advantage. Your competitors face the same challenge. Do a better job of fitting essential proposal information into your proposal, and you gain competitive advantage.

Read the wording of the page limitation instructions carefully. Note what is limited or restricted and what is not. The instructions may exclude certain items such as personnel résumés or schedules from the limitation. This will enable you to be as detailed as you like in those areas. Also, search to see if minimum font size is specified for tables or figures. If it is, you must adhere to the limitation. If it is not, you may be able to use a slightly smaller font than what is specified for text. However, never go below about 8 points for graphics or tables. Otherwise, evaluators might not be able to read them. Some RFPs permit appended material.

Once you know what you may and may not include, you can manage proposal content and location. Put “nice to have” but not essential information into proposal sections or attachments that are not page-limited. This will enable you to optimize proposal content and stay within the limits.

Here are some general tips for handling page-limited proposals:

• Do not attempt to write a proposal that will fit the page limitation. Instead, write a proposal that addresses all RFP requirements and presents the information necessary to capture the program. Then edit the proposal to fit the page limitations.

• Look for opportunities to present information in illustrations, graphs, and tables. Make illustrations only as large as they need to be. Illustrations often contain unnecessary detail. Use proposal space sparingly; crop and size your illustrations.

• Do not sacrifice material that answers RFP requirements for sales propaganda. Themes are an integral part of your proposal, but they are not adequate substitutes for responsive, compliant proposal text.

• Do not repeatedly cross-reference material contained in other proposal sections to reduce page count. Some cross-referencing is acceptable, but only under specific conditions. Limit cross references to the same general proposal section or volume. Remember that evaluators might not have immediate access to the referenced section. Summarize the point you want to make before making the cross reference.

EDITING AND REVISION

Some proposal authors feel that the longer the narrative, the better the proposal. Yet more often, wordiness is due to a lack of writing experience.

Skillful editing is the single best tool available to manage page count. Eliminating excess verbiage from first drafts is often the only remedy. Unfortunately, the majority of those assigned to write proposal sections are not experienced or skilled proposal writers. They also generally lack the skills necessary to edit and refine the product to produce a terse, responsive proposal.

If you are blessed with experienced proposal team members who have good writing skills, they can perform most of the editing. Otherwise, final editing will need to be performed by a technical editor assigned to the proposal team or another member of the proposal team with good editing ability. Ideally, your proposal administrator will have good editing skills.

Two types of editing, or trimming, are required. The first removes unnecessary and irrelevant verbiage and corrects simple spelling and grammatical errors. The second eliminates material of secondary importance and hones the final product to a razor’s edge.

GRAPHICS

Illustrations and tables can be an important part of your proposal. They help break up the monotony of endless lines of text. More important, they depict information that cannot be expressed properly with words alone. Well-designed graphics express complex information in an easily understood format. They also permit presentation of significant quantities of information in very limited space, which helps solve page-count problems.

Most proposals benefit from or require graphical presentations. Keep in mind the following criteria to determine when to use words and when to use tables and other illustrations to convey your proposal message. Charts, graphs, and pictures are effective when you need to:

• Describe complex technical processes, such as systems engineering, or depict relationships. Typical applications include presentations of company or project organizations, customer-contractor interfaces, schedules, and activities or processes that lend themselves to flow charts.

• Describe something that requires the reader to form a mental image to understand what is being proposed, such as the production line in a manufacturing facility or a map with geographical locations marked.

• Show your company’s facilities, engineering and manufacturing centers, and product or design features. (Photos are usually more suitable for these applications than pure graphics.)

• Present information in a form the evaluator will be able to recall easily. People tend to remember visual images over words. Graphics like system component diagrams provide a visual image that will help the reader comprehend the word description you provide with the proposal text.

Tables are useful when you need to present a lot of numerical data. Data like project staffing, or the number of employees in your company by labor category, are tailor made for tables. So, too, is information that can be provided as a list or can be organized easily into categories. For page-limited proposals, tables offer the opportunity to save space, especially if the allowable font size for tables is smaller than that for text.

Using Graphics Effectively

Well-designed and strategically placed graphics enhance your proposal presentation. Alternatively, poorly designed graphics that are confusing, hard to read, or not properly explained by proposal text can do more damage than good. Two general principles should be applied to graphics:

1. The graphic or table should convey information essential to the point you are trying to make. Do not put graphics in your proposal just for the sake of having graphics. Some proposal gurus insist that you need a set number of graphics per proposal page. That is plain nonsense. Graphics can indeed improve the general appearance of your proposal. Nonetheless, gratuitous graphics may detract from your message rather than add to it. Moreover, for page-limited proposals, you must weigh the advantage of using a graphic, rather than words, against the amount of space it consumes.

2. The graphic or table must support and clarify the text, not replace it. Do not assume that the evaluator will automatically understand the point you are trying to make with a graphic. You must interpret, summarize, or highlight key information and then explain its importance. Proposal text and graphics need not be totally redundant, but they must each be able to stand on their own. You can tease the reader with enough detail in the text to ensure that he or she will take the time to examine the graphic or table. Just inserting graphics into your proposal with a cursory reference like “see Figure 1.2.3” is generally insufficient.

Use only graphics that emphasize a point, explain key facts in the text, or help the reader remember essential information.

Here are some additional tips to help guide the development of effective graphics and avoid common errors.

• Design graphics and tables to the same scale. Avoid broad discrepancies in size between graphics. Use only as much space as absolutely required for page-limited proposals.

• Use the same terms in the graphic or table that you use in the text. Otherwise, you may confuse the reader. For numeric data, ensure that the numbers in the text agree with those in the table.

• Place the graphic or table as close as possible to the text that references it. Ideally, the reference and graphic will appear on the same page.

• Use a consistent format for graphics and tables. Consistency enhances overall appearance and makes your data easier to follow or compare from one illustration or table to the next.

• For complex illustrations, use highlighting, bold type, or thicker lines to draw attention to key points you want to convey. Some experts apply what they call the five-second rule. If the reader does not get the main point within five seconds, you need to redesign the graphic.

• For tables crammed full of information, organize table content to draw attention to key data, or segregate different groups of data so they are easily distinguished by the reader. If the table contains a long series of items, make it easier to read by arranging the data into groups, by highlighting every other line, or by inserting lines between groups of information.

• Verify that the table or graphic number referenced in the text agrees with the number in the table or graphic caption. Misreferencing graphics is a common mistake. Unfortunately, it suggests a lack of attention to detail and might confuse the evaluator.

• If you must use abbreviations in an illustration, identify them in the text or as a footnote or legend located adjacent to the illustration.

Types of Illustrations

Illustrations take six basic forms: tables, pie or circle charts, bar charts, line graphs, organization and flow charts, and pictures. The one you select depends on the type of information you have to display and the point you are trying to make:

• Tables—Tables permit data to be presented in row and column format. They are best used to present a significant amount of numerical data, lists, or categorical data.

• Bar charts—Bar or column charts depict relationships among groups or categories of information, or changes in data over time (e.g., employee turnover rates for the last five years).

• Circle charts—Use circle charts to show the relative sizes of groups compared to the whole. Circle charts show the proportion of each slice to each other slice and to the whole. For example, you might use a circle chart to show the percentage of your employees that are non-degreed, have a four-year degree, and possess an advanced degree.

• Line charts—Line charts allow readers to see trends in data over time. They are very effective in showing a positive trend or improvement in some key parameter. For example, a line chart could be used to show a steady decrease in the number of software test discrepancies since you implemented a new process.

• Pictorial graphics—Pictorial graphics include organizational and flow charts, maps, photographs, and diagrams. Project organizational charts, flow charts, and system diagrams are common examples.

Action Captions

The use of action captions is a method intended to put a little pizzazz in the phrasing of table and graphics captions. Rather than dryly stating the content of a graphic, action captions reiterate a proposal theme or convey a message. Some examples follow:

The main advantage of action captions is that they allow you to reiterate or amplify a theme contained in the text of your proposal. Properly worded, they can be quite effective.

If you elect to use action captions, they must be applied consistently to every graphic in the proposal. Otherwise, you violate the consistency rule discussed above.

Developing hard-hitting action captions for every graphic and table is more difficult than it sounds. Forced action captions start to sound “cheesy” and may resemble sales hype more than compelling proposal themes. In such cases, you are better off with a boring but informative caption. If the action caption takes up two or more lines of space, and you are fighting page limitations, you must decide which is more important: the action caption or an additional line of proposal text.

Proposals are fundamentally technical sales documents. If you can use action captions to communicate your proposal message more effectively, then by all means use them. However, if you find yourself struggling to develop action captions that don’t sound like they came off the back of a cereal box, you are better advised to use their less awe-inspiring counterparts.

Gain competitive advantage first by responding clearly and effectively to all RFP requirements. Place proposal material where evaluators expect to see it, and make it easy to identify. Then use themes to convey your proposal message and discriminators to separate yourself from the rest of the competition. Integrate features and their benefits to the customer to equip evaluators with more reasons to select you for the contract.

Use ghosting to undermine your competitor’s approach, and take specific actions to ensure that your proposal receives a favorable risk rating. Edit the final proposal so that it is easy to read, communicates clearly, and fits within any page-count restrictions. Apply graphics appropriately to enhance the effectiveness of your message.

A well-written proposal that effectively addresses all RFP requirements and clearly communicates your sales message to the customer is a powerful weapon on the battlefield of competitive procurements. It positively distinguishes you from the rest of the pack. This alone enables you to overcome the “sameness of proposal” problem government evaluators complain about. Given two proposals of equal technical merit, the one that is better written and communicates more effectively captures competitive advantage.