The Gift of a Lifetime

When I graduated from our little three-room grade school in Centerton, Indiana, I got dressed up in clean overalls for the big event. For my graduation present Dad gave me an old, wrinkled two-dollar bill that he probably had been hanging onto for some time.

He said, “Johnny, as long as you have this you’ll never be broke,” and he was pretty close to right. Eventually I gave it to my own son Jim.

Dad also gave me something that day that would shape my entire life: my work, my marriage, my goals, my entire philosophy. It was a card on which he had written a few guidelines. I still carry it with me. On one side was this verse by the Reverend Henry Van Dyke:

Four things a man must learn to do
If he would make his life more true:
To think without confusion clearly,
To love his fellow-man sincerely,
To act from honest motives purely,
To trust in God and Heaven securely.

The little verse was straightforward but profound: think clearly, have love in your heart, be honest, and trust in God.

On the other side of the paper, Dad had written out his creed. At the top of the paper, it said “Seven Things to Do.” It read as follows:

1. Be true to yourself.

2. Help others.

3. Make each day your masterpiece.

4. Drink deeply from good books, especially the Bible.

5. Make friendship a fine art.

6. Build a shelter against a rainy day.

7. Pray for guidance and count and give thanks for your blessings every day.

All he said when he gave me the little note he had written was, “Son, try and live up to these things.”

I wish I could say I have lived up to them. I have tried. Over the years, as I’ve attempted to follow his creed, I’ve gained a deeper understanding of it. Let me share what it means to me after all these years.

Be True to Yourself

If we are not true to ourselves, we cannot be true to others—our wife or husband, our family, our profession and colleagues.

As Polonius said to his son Laertes in William Shakespeare’s Hamlet, “This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man.”

This is so true, and I believe it is the first point in Dad’s creed for a reason. You must know who you are and be true to who you are if you are going to be who you can and should become.

You must have the courage to be true to yourself.

Help Others

Oh, the great joy there is in helping others, perhaps the greatest joy! You cannot have a perfect day without helping others with no thought of getting something in return. When we are helping others with the thought of getting something back, it’s not the same at all.

Sharing and giving of yourself is joyous. James Russell Lowell wrote:

It’s not what we give but what we share,
For the gift without the giver is bare.
Who gives of himself of his alms feeds three,
Himself, his hungering neighbor, and me.

The basic precept of all the great religions is the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Simply stated, it means, “Help others.”

Jesus said, “It is more blessed to give than to receive.” We say those words, but how often do we really believe them? They are always true.

You can never acquire happiness without giving of yourself to someone else without the expectation of getting something back.

When it comes to giving, I remind myself what Ralph Waldo Emerson said: “Rings and jewels are not gifts, but apologies for gifts. The only true gift is a portion of thyself.”

Make Each Day Your Masterpiece

When I was teaching basketball, I urged my players to try their hardest to improve on that very day, to make that practice a masterpiece.

Too often we get distracted by what is outside our control. You can’t do anything about yesterday. The door to the past has been shut and the key thrown away. You can do nothing about tomorrow. It is yet to come. However, tomorrow is in large part determined by what you do today. So make today a masterpiece. You have control over that.

This rule is even more important in life than basketball. You have to apply yourself each day to become a little better. By applying yourself to the task of becoming a little better each and every day over a period of time, you will become a lot better. Only then will you be able to approach being the best you can be. It begins by trying to make each day count and knowing you can never make up for a lost day.

If a player appeared to be taking it easy in practice, I told him, “Don’t think you can make up for it by working twice as hard tomorrow. If you have it within your power to work twice as hard, why aren’t you doing it now?”

If you sincerely try to do your best to make each day a masterpiece, angels can do no better.

Drink Deeply from Good Books, Including the Bible

Poetry, biographies, and all the other great books will greatly enrich your life. There are so many that are so good, and they are all available to you. The poetry Dad read to us when we were kids instilled a love of reading, English, books, and knowledge.

It was a priceless gift and one that has enhanced my own life so much. Drink deeply from those great books of your own choosing and you will enrich yourself.

Make Friendship a Fine Art

Don’t take friendship for granted. Friendship is giving and sharing of yourself. If just one side works at it, it isn’t friendship. You must work at friendship. Make it a fine art. Go more than halfway. It is two-sided, just like marriage.

Someone is not a good friend because he or she does good things for you all the time. It’s friendship when you do good things for each other. It’s showing concern and consideration. Friendship is so valuable and so powerful. We take it for granted, but we shouldn’t.

At times when I am feeling low,

I hear from a friend and then

My worries start to go away

And I am on the mend.

In spite of all that doctors know,

And their studies never end,

The best cure of all when spirits fall

Is a kind note from a friend.

—John Wooden

The first and most important step in friendship is being a friend.

Build a Shelter Against a Rainy Day

This is not necessarily a material shelter. Your faith, whatever it may be, is the greatest shelter of all. In many ways we’ve been taken in by materialism. I’m not saying possessions are unimportant, but we often put them out of proportion, ahead of family, faith, and friends.

Pray for Guidance and Count and Give Thanks for Your Blessings Every Day

So often we fail to acknowledge what we have because we’re so concerned about what we want. We fail to give real thanks for the many blessings for which we did nothing: our life itself, the flowers, the trees, our family and friends. This moment. All of our blessings we take for granted so much of the time.

A wise person once observed, “How much more pleasant this world would be if we magnified our blessings the way we magnify our disappointments.”

And, of course, with that we must also pray for guidance. One of my players at UCLA once told me he was embarrassed to have anyone know that he prayed. There’s no shame in praying for guidance. It’s a sign of strength.