The Other Seven Wonders of the World

A group of students was asked to list what they thought were the present “Seven Wonders of the World.” Though there were some disagreements, the following received the most votes:

1. Egypt’s Great Pyramids
2. Taj Mahal
3. Grand Canyon
4. Panama Canal
5. Empire State Building
6. St. Peter’s Basilica
7. China’s Great Wall

While gathering the votes, the teacher noted that one student had not finished her assignment yet. So she asked the girl if she was having trouble with her list. The girl replied, “Yes, a little. I couldn’t quite make up my mind because there are so many.”

The teacher said, “Well, tell us what you have, and maybe we can help.”

The girl hesitated, then read, “I think the ‘Seven Wonders of the World’ are:

1. To see
2. To hear
3. To touch
4. To taste
5. To feel
6. To laugh
7. And to love.”

The room was so quiet you could have heard a pin drop. The things we overlook as simple and ordinary and that we take for granted are truly wondrous! A gentle reminder—that the most precious things in life cannot be built by hand or bought by man.

A reader sent me the above story. Wow! This is certainly something to think about.

We’re so busy looking for the big picture that we sometimes miss the little pictures that make it up. It’s true in all aspects of life, personal and professional. You can deal with the personal side; I’d like to explore the wonders of life at work.

If you look at what’s important in your company, certainly a successful bottom line is right up there, but how do you get there? Can you be successful without a contented workforce? Products you believe in enough to use yourself? Sterling reputation? A real desire to be the best? These are the simple elements of any successful individual or company.

In other words, can you see your way to success? Can you feel it? Can you taste it? Can you smell it? Is it calling to you? Will you have some fun getting there, and will you love what you do?

President Woodrow Wilson phrased it eloquently: “You are not here merely to make a living. You are here in order to enable the world to live more amply, with greater vision, with a finer spirit of hope and achievement. You are here to enrich the world, and you impoverish yourself if you forgot the errand.”

Thomas Watson, Jr., former chairman of IBM, often told anecdotes about his father, Thomas Watson, Sr., founder of the company. One of them went like this: “Father was fond of saying that everybody, from time to time, should take a step back and watch himself go by.”

I invite you to make a resolution to do just that. Then ask yourself some questions: Am I making things more complicated than they need to be? Am I getting a good look at everything that’s going on around me? Am I using that information to improve my performance? Am I looking for big changes when little changes would make a bigger difference? Am I making more work for myself and others around me? Do I appreciate the simple gift that each day is?

The answers need not fly in the face of simplifying matters. Instead, they should help you see that, frequently, a simple solution will solve most problems. It’s been said that making the simple complicated is commonplace, but to make the complicated simple requires creativity.

Like a great sculptor who chips away at a massive piece of marble to reveal its simple beauty, try to approach matters at work to get to the very core of the issue. It doesn’t matter if you’re talking about sales, manufacturing, marketing, management, or whatever. Keeping things simple will avoid a lot of complications down the road.

The Second Ten Commandments

We all know about the original Ten Commandments, but have you ever heard of “The Second Ten Commandments”? These pearls of wisdom, sent to me by a friend, have been often attributed to Elodie Armstrong. I have taken the liberty of putting my spin on them:

1. Thou shall not worry, for worry is the most unproductive of all human activities. You can’t saw sawdust. A day of worry is more exhausting than a day of work. People get so busy worrying about yesterday or tomorrow, they forget about today. And today is what you have to work with.
2. Thou shall not be fearful, for most of the things we fear never come to pass. Every crisis we face is multiplied when we act out of fear. Fear is a self-fulfilling emotion. When we fear something, we empower it. If we refuse to concede to our fear, there is nothing to fear.
3. Thou shall not cross bridges before you come to them, for no one yet has succeeded in accomplishing this. Solve the issues before you right now. Tomorrow’s problems may not even be problems when tomorrow comes!
4. Thou shall face each problem as it comes. You can only handle one at a time anyway.In one of my favorite “Peanuts” comic strips, Linus says to Charlie Brown, “There’s no problem too big we can’t run away from it.” I chuckle every time I think about it because it sounds like such a simple solution to a problem. Problem solving is not easy, so don’t make it harder than it is.
5. Thou shall not take problems to bed with you, for they make very poor bedfellows. Just remember that all your problems seem much worse in the middle of the night. If I wake up thinking of a problem, I tell myself that it will seem lighter in the morning, and it always is.
6. Thou shall not borrow other people’s problems. They can better care for them than you can. I must confess that I have broken this commandment because I wanted to help someone out, without being asked, or I thought I was more equipped to handle a situation. But I wouldn’t have to deal with the consequences, either.
7. Thou shall not try to relive yesterday. For good or ill, it is forever gone. Concentrate on what is happening in your life and be happy now! We convince ourselves that life will be better after we get a better job, make more money, get married, have a baby, buy a bigger house, and so on. Yet the accomplishment of any of those events may not make any difference at all. The Declaration of Independence says we are endowed “with certain unalienable rights, which among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.” You are responsible for your own happiness.
8. Thou shall be a good listener, for only when you listen do you hear ideas different from your own. You can win more friends with your ears than with your mouth. Hearing is one of the body’s five senses, but listening is an art. Your success could hinge on whether you have mastered the skill of listening. Most people won’t listen to what you’re saying unless they already feel that you have listened to them. When we feel we are being listened to, it makes us feel like we are being taken seriously and that what we say really matters.
9. Thou shall not become “bogged down” by frustration, for 90 percent of it is rooted in self-pity and will only interfere with positive action. Seriously, has frustration ever improved a situation? Better to take a break, collect your thoughts, and redirect your attention to a positive first step. Then go on from there.
10. Thou shall count thy blessings, never overlooking the small ones, for a lot of small blessings add up to a big one. We all have something to be grateful for, even on the worst days. Hey, you’re still on the green side of the grass, aren’t you?

Things I’ve learned in life

There are three simple rules in life:

1. If you do not go after what you want, you’ll never have it.
2. If you do not ask, the answer will always be no.
3. If you do not step forward, you’ll always be in the same place.

I can’t take credit for this; its source is anonymous. But it started me thinking about my own life and everything that I’ve learned over many decades in business.

The lessons I have learned could fill a set of encyclopedias. I would imagine anyone who has paid attention to the world around them could say the same. But there are several guiding principles that help me make decisions, plan strategy, and sleep at night.

For example, I know that you have to dig your well before you’re thirsty. I believe it so completely that it became the title of my book on networking. This applies to both networking and planning. Here is the most important line in the book: “If I had to name the single characteristic shared by all the truly successful people I’ve met over a lifetime, I’d say it is the ability to create and nurture a network of contacts.”

In the end, it’s not the amount of money that you make or the buildings that you own that matter. It’s the people on whom you can depend—and who can depend on you—that make your life better.

A close second for the top lesson of my life would be the following: “People don’t care how much you know about them, once they realize how much you care about them.” It’s so important I made this the theme of my first book, Swim with the Sharks Without Being Eaten Alive. It’s also central to my Mackay 66 Customer Profile, which is the cornerstone of all my speeches.

You have to learn as much about your customers and suppliers as you possibly can, because you can’t talk about business all your life. You have to build those relationships and take it from a business level to a personal level. Knowing something about your customer is just as important as knowing everything about your product.

Many of my friends started out as customers. As our relationships grew, we discovered that we shared much in common. Our friendships are based on trust established in our business dealings. Trust is, after all, the most important word in business. And that extends to my personal life as well. You must be trustworthy to be a worthy friend.

Another key lesson: “Believe in yourself even when no one else does.” I have never met a successful person that hasn’t had to overcome either a little or a lot of adversity in his or her life. So who says that you can’t accomplish your goals? Who says that you’re not tougher and better and smarter and harder working and more able than your competition? It doesn’t matter if they say you can’t do it. The only thing that matters is if you say it.

Next, I’ve learned that we can’t go it alone. The boat won’t go if we all don’t row. What is teamwork? It’s a collection of diverse people who respect each other and are committed to each other’s successes. The beautiful part of teamwork is that it offers us the opportunity to use our own special talents and abilities. We all have gifts to share.

The last thing I’ll mention, and the way I finish all of my speeches, is to put some fun and creativity into your business and into your life. Don’t be boring. Don’t be predictable. You can take your work seriously, you can take your relationships seriously, but you should never take yourself too seriously.

The ability to laugh at yourself is one of the most endearing traits you can possess. Supremely confident people worry very little about being the coolest, smartest, most admired person in the room. They understand that by putting others first, they move to the front of the class. They have truly learned some of life’s most important lessons.

In the end we only regret the chances we didn’t take, the relationships we were afraid to have, and the decisions we waited too long to make. Learn from your mistakes. Be grateful for second chances and forgiving friends.

You get what you give

Our country is seeing a volunteer need now the likes of which we have seen few times in our history. The response to the devastation after natural disasters is a testament to the desire we all possess to help out. We’ve seen this action before, but the need for help exists even when we are not in a time of crisis.

People who do volunteer work and help other people on a regular basis have a healthier outlook on life. They are more inclined to be go-getters and consistently report being happier. Young, old, professional, student, teacher—it doesn’t matter. Volunteering is good for everyone.

I subscribe to the theory that 20 percent of your time should be devoted to volunteering. That sounds like a lot, until you find a cause that you can get passionate about. Then, there will never be enough time.

Think about what you can do besides donating cash. Don’t get me wrong; I’ve never known an organization that didn’t need money to keep the lights on. But there is a volunteer opportunity—and I use that phrase intentionally—to match the skills and commitment level of anyone who wants to give some time.

If you still think you are too busy to share some time, consider these points:

Volunteering is an opportunity to help. It’s a chance to share your talents with people who need help. In my state, there is a need for people who can help immigrants learn to read. Can you imagine how hard it would be to navigate a new country without a working knowledge of the language—taking a driving test, filling out job applications, enrolling kids in school? In the bargain, you have the satisfaction of knowing that you contributed to their success, and you probably made a friend in the process. That’s a win-win situation.

Volunteering is an opportunity to learn. Every organization has a job or two that no one really wants to do. Take on that chore! You will learn something new, to be sure. But even more important, you will discover that you can do all kinds of things you never thought you could. You’ll begin to think bigger and see the possibilities in a whole new way. That will benefit both you and the organization.

Volunteering is an opportunity to crawl out of your shell. If you are afraid to join a club or are too timid to make a ripple at work, find a volunteer opportunity where you can contribute in a less threatening way. A gregarious personality is not a prerequisite, and can be detrimental in some situations. Organizations are begging for help; find out what you can do.

Volunteering is an opportunity to have some fun. Don’t expect to be entertained, but at the same time, no one said volunteering had to be drudgery. After sitting in a windowless office all day, the prospect of helping weed the community garden can be mighty appealing. A change of pace is good; a change of pace that also does some good is a great combination.

Volunteering is an opportunity to sharpen your skills. One of my favorite examples here is accepting the fund-raising role. If you are selling the needs of a little-known non-profit to individuals and companies and organizations, you are honing sales skills that will be helpful, no matter what you do for a living.

Volunteering is an opportunity to clear your head. No matter where you decide to help out, you will find that there is a much larger world out there than your little corner. Volunteering provides a new perspective, and frequently takes you into a world you never really knew before. The change will do you good.

Volunteering is an opportunity to make a difference. I’ve hammered away at this theme forever: One person can make all the difference. Be that person.

Volunteering is a privilege. And you thought doing good deeds would make you look like a hero? Guess again. Non-profits don’t need showboaters; they need worker bees. Approach volunteer work as a chance to be useful, and be grateful that someone thinks you are up to the task.

Lifelines beat deadlines any day

When life feels a little off, it’s a good thing to take time to re-evaluate our lives and the direction we’re headed or have taken. Are you balancing out the different roles you have … wage earner, spouse, parent, community member, and so on?

If you’re like the average American, you devote 56 hours a week to work, including commuting; 70 hours to sleeping, eating, and other personal care; and 42 hours to leisure activities, of which 16 hours are spent socializing with friends and family.

WOW. That’s not much personal time.

There are a lot of “supermoms” and “superdads” racing through the day. But balance isn’t about speed. It’s not a checklist. It’s easy to leave kids or colleagues feeling slighted.

The good news is it’s never too late to think about balance. And it’s not always your choice. You and your family have to decide between unlimited personal success and a more evenly weighted life.

I choose balance, but it wasn’t always that way. When I bought a distressed envelope company back in 1959, I blew a kiss to my wife, Carol Ann, and said, “I’ll see you in five years.” I figured it would take that amount of time to get the business where I wanted it. But I learned that the family moments are worth more than any time I lost at the office.

Here’s a story that someone sent me that might help you think a little differently about balancing work and family:

A man came home from work late again, tired and irritated to find his five-year-old son waiting for him at the door. “Daddy, how much money do you make an hour?”

“That’s none of your business. What makes you ask such a thing?” the man said angrily.

“I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?” pleaded the little boy.

“If you must know, I make $20 an hour.”

“Daddy, may I borrow $10 please?”

The father was furious. “If the only reason you wanted to know how much money I make is just so you can borrow some to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. I work long, hard hours every day and don’t have time for such childish games.”

The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door. The man sat down and started to get even madder about the little boy’s questioning. After an hour or so, the man had calmed down, and started to think he may have been a little hard on his son. Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that $10, and he really didn’t ask for money very often. The man went to the little boy’s room and opened the door.

“Are you asleep, son?” he asked.

“No, Daddy, I’m awake,” replied the boy.

“I’ve been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier,” said the man. “Here’s that $10 you asked for.”

The little boy sat straight up, beaming. “Oh, thank you, Daddy,” he yelled. Then, reaching under his pillow, he pulled out some more crumpled up bills. The man started to get angry again. The little boy slowly counted out his money, then looked up at his father.

“Why did you want more money if you already had some?” the father grumbled.

“Because I didn’t have enough, but now I do,” the little boy replied. “Daddy, I have $20 now. Can I buy an hour of your time?”

Share $20 worth of time with someone you love. Remember, the width of life is as important as the length. This is just a short reminder to all of us working so hard for our living. However, let us not let time slip through our fingers without having spent some quality time with those who really matter to us. Everyone is a house with four rooms—a physical, mental, emotional, and a spiritual room. Most of us tend to live in one room most of the time, but unless we go into every room every day, even if only to keep it aired, we are not complete persons.

Happy people make other people happy

There is a fable about a little girl who was feeling particularly lonely and blue when she happened across a gorgeous butterfly trapped in the thorns of a blackberry bush. Taking great care not to tear its fragile wings, the girl’s nimble fingers finally worked the insect free, whereupon, instead of fluttering away, it turned into a golden fairy who offered to grant any wish.

“I want to be happy!” the little girl cried.

The fairy smiled, leaned forward, whispered something in her ear and vanished. And from that day forward there was no more happy spirit in the land than that child, who grew into a merry woman and a contented old lady. On her deathbed, her neighbors crowded around, desperate that the secret of happiness not die with her.

“Tell us, please tell us, what the fairy said to you,” they pleaded.

The neighbor smiled benevolently, and whispered, “She told me that everyone—no matter how rich or secure or self-contained or successful they might appear—had need of me.”

How true! Everyone needs to be needed. It brings tremendous satisfaction to know that you have such a vital purpose in life, one that surely contributes to your happiness and contentment.

I’ve learned over the years that happiness comes from making other people happy. Successful people, as well as successful businesses, take great joy in finding ways to spread happiness. Why is Disneyland the “happiest place on earth”? Is it any wonder that one of the biggest songs in recent years is Pharrell Williams’ “Happy”? How many Happy Meals do you think McDonald’s sells? Have you ever attended a happy hour at your favorite watering hole?

Businesses that are clued in to what customers want find ways to incorporate “happy” into the sale. A new car doesn’t drive any better because the dealership was decked out in balloons and offered free hot dogs. But a happy experience beats an ordinary one most days.

Following that line of thought, it turns out that the conventional wisdom is wrong: It is possible to buy happiness—when you spend your money on others. Researchers at the University of British Columbia and Harvard University found that people who buy gifts for others and make charitable donations report being happier than people who spend their money primarily on themselves. The scientists studied 630 Americans and asked them to rate their general happiness, their annual income, and their monthly spending—including bills, gifts for themselves, gifts for others, and charitable contributions.

And again, it illustrates the point that knowing that others have need of you brightens your outlook.

Even our nation’s Declaration of Independence places a premium on happiness, stating that we are “bestowed with certain unalienable rights, which among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness.” Thomas Jefferson and company left it up to us to figure out how to pursue happiness, but I have some thoughts for you. Here’s my prescription for happiness. Use it regularly and you will see wonderful results:

• Don’t let little things bother you. There is always something better to think about.
• Keep your perspective. Put first things first and stay the course.
• Only worry about what you can control. If you cannot do anything about a situation, worrying won’t make it—or you—better.
• Do your best, but understand that you can’t always be a perfectionist. Don’t condemn yourself or others for not achieving perfection.
• When you are right, be gracious. When wrong, be even more gracious.
• Trust or believe people whenever you can, and when that isn’t possible, accept them at their worst and weakest. You can keep your convictions without destroying others.
• Don’t compare yourself to others, which is the guarantee of instant misery. People are different for many reasons.
• Brush away the chip on your shoulder so that when something happens to you that you don’t like, you can take the high road.
• Give of yourself wholeheartedly or enthusiastically. When you have nothing left to give, someone will return the favor.
• Make happiness the aim of your life instead of bracing for life’s barbs.
• Remember, you are responsible for your own happiness. Others can do kind things for you, but you must be open to being happy. But don’t let that stop you from trying to make others happy!

Thoughts for a richer life

I’ve had this little gem tucked away for many years, and I refer to it from time to time to remind myself of what’s really important. I’ve searched for the source, which I haven’t been able to find, because I’d like to thank the author for these wonderful lessons.

Here are the original thoughts, followed by my impressions:

• The most destructive habit: Worry.
• The greatest joy: Giving.
• The greatest loss: Loss of self-respect.
• The most satisfying work: Helping others.
• The ugliest personality trait: Selfishness.
• The most endangered species: Dedicated leaders.
• The greatest natural resource: Our youth.
• The greatest “shot in the arm”: Encouragement.
• The greatest problem to overcome: Fear.
• The most effective sleeping pill: Peace of mind.
• The most crippling disease: Excuses.
• The most powerful force in life: Love.
• The most incredible computer: The brain.
• The worst thing to be without: Hope.
• The deadliest weapon: The tongue.
• The two most power-filled words: I can.
• The greatest asset: Faith.
• The most worthless emotion: Self-pity.
• The most beautiful attire: A smile.
• The most prized possession: Integrity.
• The most contagious spirit: Enthusiasm.

First, let’s talk about worry. Did you know this word is derived from an Anglo-Saxon word that means to strangle or to choke? People do literally worry themselves to death … or heart disease, high blood pressure, ulcers, nervous disorders, and all sorts of other nasty conditions. Worry can destroy your peace of mind. The best remedy? Remember that tomorrow is a new day, full of promise.

Giving/Helping others. These two go hand in hand. You are always in a position to give, just as you can always help someone. Never pass up an opportunity to share what you have. Dedicated leaders understand that they have tremendous power to help those they lead by setting a solid example and demonstrating the highest standards.

Selfishness. It is amazing what you can accomplish when you are willing to share the credit. An offshoot of selfishness is self-pity, which no one should waste time on anyway. Perhaps the worst effect is loss of self-respect. Self-respect is what motivates you to be the best you can be. And in turn, you can motivate others to be their best.

Encouragement is oxygen to the soul. People appreciate recognition, encouragement, and praise. Offering encouragement based on a person’s character or actions inspires someone to perform in such a manner that invites additional praise. Be careful not to let the tongue undo the positive effects of encouragement. Use it for good.

Fear. Every crisis we face is multiplied when we act out of fear. When we fear something, we empower it. If we refuse to concede to our fear, there is nothing to fear.

Excuses. We all make excuses from time to time. However, the day you stop making them is the day you will move up in the world.

Hope is what gets many of us through our worst days. Hope is believing that every cloud has a silver lining, and when that cloud rains, it makes things grow. A perfect partner is faith, for without faith, hope is meaningless. Love completes this trio. Real power comes through when you love someone or something, whether it’s a career or a cause.

A smile improves your looks. I learned years ago that one of the most powerful things you can do to have influence over others is to smile at them. It should be standard equipment for all people.

Integrity: either you have it or you don’t. If you have integrity, nothing else matters. If you don’t have integrity, nothing else matters. Doing the right thing is never the wrong thing to do.

Enthusiasm is the spark that ignites our lives. It’s one of the most important attributes to success. It also leads to an attitude of I can, which provides the confidence required for achievement.

Pass as much encouragement as possible to our youth, the people who will inherit this world. I am constantly encouraged by the dreams and aspirations of the young people I mentor, and I want them to pass their experiences to future generations.

Finally, the brain. What a gift we have with our brains. Unlike your computer, it may not perform rapid-fire complex calculations. But attached to the heart, it can make better decisions and produce infinitely better results.